I have created a new account for this as I need advice desperately and I have no one else. Apologies if this turns out to be long.

I come from an abusive, broken home. I used to watch my Dad beat my Mom and he used to hit me too. I was sexually molested by a cousin and basically had a a very bad childhood. Lots of anger and yelling all the time is what I remember the majority of it to be. I have a terrible temper and have known this for a long time now. I am an only child, I lost my sister when I was 4, she was 11 months when she died. My wife comes from a solid family with an older brother and sister, her parents have been together for a long time and are happy. She never experienced any of the sort of trauma I did as a youth. I am 29 and she is 26.

My wife and I recently celebrated our first year wedding anniversary and have been going through some tough times lately. We have had a lot of fights in our first year. Mostly caused by me being drunk and I have been physically aggressive with her before, grabbing her by the arm and once pulling her down a set of small steps by. She got pregnant before Christmas so when she told me I was ecstatic with happiness and everything was still fine so last week Saturday my plan was to have a couple of beers with my friend after work to celebrate a special occasion he had and I send her message I’m having a celebratory drink with my friend and she replies yeah I thought so and so now I know she is annoyed and I text her asking whats wrong, it takes about 5 texts and she writes back an hour and half later saying "I knew what you were doing all along, the reason you text me so you could hang out with your friends" and some other stuff basically to the effect of: I picked drinking with friends over her.

So at this point I have had a few beers and I'm in trouble with my wife so I knock back another one or two and at this point I am now pretty drunk as I was drinking fast. I go home and she shows up and she is really angry and yelling at me , the marriage is over , I'm going back to my parents home" I lost it at this point and her to be angry at me now combined with all the other pent up emotions, I just exploded. I pushed her on to the ground and kicked her in her legs a few times. I grabbed her hand and bit it really hard and then bit her on top of her head. I completely lost all control and was consumed with emotions. I felt like I was losing my mind. She looked up at me in terror and I stopped. She got up and told me we were finished and she never wanted to see me again. She punched me in the face and broke my glasses. We threw some dishes and things and I just completely crumbled. She wanted to leave but I was preventing her. I smashed her phone on the ground and pulled her bags off of her. I stopped preventing her from leaving and she opened the door and walked out. I followed her out in the street and tried to talk to her. It was useless of course. She went home.

Her parents are on holiday right now in Canada so it was only her brother who was there. I called the house and she answered and told me to Bleep off basically. So this morning her Sister calls and says they will be contacting the police etc. I am now sitting in my house surrounded by her things which I have to pack up so her Sister can come collect them. I have no one else. My Mother passed away 4 years ago and I have no contact with my Dad. My family structure is basically broken.

I am a good person. I am not violent normally. Anyone I know would tell you "Hey that guys is a really good guy, he has a good heart." This is why my wife loved me, she chose me because I'm a good person. Yet... I feel like a monster. What I did was MONSTROUS. I hate myself right and can barely stand to be alive. I have a problem with alcohol and anger management. I know this much but I don't know where to go for help. I have just ruined the best thing thats ever happened to me in my life. My wife is SUCH a good person. She is literally an angel to me. She does not have a bad or mean bone in her body and look what I did to her. I can't believe it I don't know to deal with it. My worst nightmare is to be like my Dad with women and I have gone and done it. Please help me

First and foremost, because you are from an abusive home does not mean you will be so aggressive.
In Addition, you lack self control, and thats what made you hit her.
I will conclude by saying, go to her family house and apologize, and bro don't ever take too much beer ( It kills)

---

.

WTF

You're a very good writer...
Let me assume this is real

Dear guys. Hide nothing from your wife to be. While dating if she had known you were a drinker she wouldn't have married you. If she still married you after knowing your habit she won't have complained. You see the root of the problem? The foundation.

How many I Don date Wey leave me because of kpef. Them plenty. Immediately I date you I go tell you, omo I dey drink o. And I like clubbing. If you can bear it no wahala. Due to the understanding sef na me go reduce the kpef myself.
That being said you beat your woman. That makes you weak bro. If a woman can control you till you get annoyed she has power over your emotions. A person that has power over your emotions have power over you. You Don mess up. Solution. Go beg am.
But if she insists she wants to leave Abeg leave her be. She no like your habits,be sides a woman who just a few months after wedding and you make mistake wan go, imagine when una Don enter una sef well. I don't support divorce but if she wan go no wahala.
You sef sofri drink. If not for anything for your health. Drink maybe one crate a day no go beyond am. You go dey alright

Not everything dat runs in ur family should also run in u...make dem run out of u.

Come lets give that your Material a sense of belonging....just hmu

We sew
School uniform, male kaftan, shorts, trousers, cardigan, Polo's and design them to taste.. You get a discount if you're a NL member.

.

.

G0 and apologize and sin no more

Why pushing the blame to your family background? Abeg accept responsibility for your actions! Anyway, good luck because you'd need it.

Jesus! This story is scary! You can kill somebody with that kind of rage.

I hope she doesn’t return to you until it’s been proven beyond reasonable doubt that you’ve undergone therapy and you’re no longer a threat to life. Please, don’t even ask her to come back if your plan isn’t to truly kill her.

Den stop drinking, Not simple as ABC hard to do but for your sanity and the sake of your young family you just have to let go, or better still stock yur house n invite friends over, But if i was you ill'd rather go for option A.

Froshloaded:
First and foremost, because you are from an abusive home does not mean you will be so aggressive.
In Addition, you lack self control, and thats what made you hit her.
I will conclude by saying, go to her family house and apologize, and bro don't ever take too much beer ( It kills)

---

Thank you

Shibaraba:
You're a very good writer...
Let me assume this is real

Dear guys. Hide nothing from your wife to be. While dating if she had known you were a drinker she wouldn't have married you. If she still married you after knowing your habit she won't have complained. You see the root of the problem? The foundation.

How many I Don date Wey leave me because of kpef. Them plenty. Immediately I date you I go tell you, omo I dey drink o. And I like clubbing. If you can bear it no wahala. Due to the understanding sef na me go reduce the kpef myself.
That being said you beat your woman. That makes you weak bro. If a woman can control you till you get annoyed she has power over your emotions. A person that has power over your emotions have power over you. You Don mess up. Solution. Go beg am.
But if she insists she wants to leave Abeg leave her be. She no like your habits,be sides a woman who just a few months after wedding and you make mistake wan go, imagine when una Don enter una sef well. I don't support divorce but if she wan go no wahala.
You sef sofri drink. If not for anything for your health. Drink maybe one crate a day no go beyond am. You go dey alright

Thank you for the advice

donbachi:
Not everything dat runs in ur family should also run in u...make dem run out of u.

Thank you

Banmeallday:
G0 and apologize and sin no more

Thank you

Princyony:
I have created a new account for this as I need advice desperately and I have no one else. Apologies if this turns out to be long.

I come from an abusive, broken home. I used to watch my Dad beat my Mom and he used to hit me too. I was sexually molested by a cousin and basically had a a very bad childhood. Lots of anger and yelling all the time is what I remember the majority of it to be. I have a terrible temper and have known this for a long time now. I am an only child, I lost my sister when I was 4, she was 11 months when she died. My wife comes from a solid family with an older brother and sister, her parents have been together for a long time and are happy. She never experienced any of the sort of trauma I did as a youth. I am 29 and she is 26.

My wife and I recently celebrated our first year wedding anniversary and have been going through some tough times lately. We have had a lot of fights in our first year. Mostly caused by me being drunk and I have been physically aggressive with her before, grabbing her by the arm and once pulling her down a set of small steps by. She got pregnant before Christmas so when she told me I was ecstatic with happiness and everything was still fine so last week Saturday my plan was to have a couple of beers with my friend after work to celebrate a special occasion he had and I send her message I’m having a celebratory drink with my friend and she replies yeah I thought so and so now I know she is annoyed and I text her asking whats wrong, it takes about 5 texts and she writes back an hour and half later saying "I knew what you were doing all along, the reason you text me so you could hang out with your friends" and some other stuff basically to the effect of: I picked drinking with friends over her.

So at this point I have had a few beers and I'm in trouble with my wife so I knock back another one or two and at this point I am now pretty drunk as I was drinking fast. I go home and she shows up and she is really angry and yelling at me , the marriage is over , I'm going back to my parents home" I lost it at this point and her to be angry at me now combined with all the other pent up emotions, I just exploded. I pushed her on to the ground and kicked her in her legs a few times. I grabbed her hand and bit it really hard and then bit her on top of her head. I completely lost all control and was consumed with emotions. I felt like I was losing my mind. She looked up at me in terror and I stopped. She got up and told me we were finished and she never wanted to see me again. She punched me in the face and broke my glasses. We threw some dishes and things and I just completely crumbled. She wanted to leave but I was preventing her. I smashed her phone on the ground and pulled her bags off of her. I stopped preventing her from leaving and she opened the door and walked out. I followed her out in the street and tried to talk to her. It was useless of course. She went home.

Her parents are on holiday right now in Canada so it was only her brother who was there. I called the house and she answered and told me to Bleep off basically. So this morning her Sister calls and says they will be contacting the police etc. I am now sitting in my house surrounded by her things which I have to pack up so her Sister can come collect them. I have no one else. My Mother passed away 4 years ago and I have no contact with my Dad. My family structure is basically broken.

I am a good person. I am not violent normally. Anyone I know would tell you "Hey that guys is a really good guy, he has a good heart." This is why my wife loved me, she chose me because I'm a good person. Yet... I feel like a monster. What I did was MONSTROUS. I hate myself right and can barely stand to be alive. I have a problem with alcohol and anger management. I know this much but I don't know where to go for help. I have just ruined the best thing thats ever happened to me in my life. My wife is SUCH a good person. She is literally an angel to me. She does not have a bad or mean bone in her body and look what I did to her. I can't believe it I don't know to deal with it. My worst nightmare is to be like my Dad with women and I have gone and done it. Please help me

Let her be abeg! Go work on yourself. Don't even beg. You will still hit her because that's what you are.

PrimadonnaO:
Jesus! This story is scary! You can kill somebody with that kind of rage.

I hope she doesn’t return to you until it’s been proven beyond reasonable doubt that you’ve undergone therapy and you’re no longer a threat to life. Please, don’t even ask her to come back if your plan isn’t to truly kill her.

Thank you

You better remain single before you spend your entire life in prison as a murderer.

joshboo:
Den stop drinking, Not simple as ABC hard to do but for your sanity and the sake of your young family you just have to let go, or better still stock yur house n invite friends over, But if i was you ill'd rather go for option A.

Thank you

This looks like fiction, stop drinking.

Mr Man, you indeed need help. Consult a counselor, a therapist and a psychologist to help you, because you really need the help.
You're a potential killer!

You should have worked on yourself and your temper before considering marriage. This is how it starts, what if you had killed her during your monstrous attacks on her. You're a threat to yourself, your spouse, your community and your country at large, going by your narrations here.

Better go and see a counselor before leading yourself to the gallows.
A word is enough for the wise, that's if you're wise, anyways.

One of the reasons why one needs to work on himself before giving another person headache.

The first thing you should do is to be deliberate in working on your weakness. Then apologise to her, use family, pastors et al to beg her.

Also try to be accountable to someone like a religious leader or a senior person. Don't forget to let her see that you're deliberately trying to change. It might take a while but she'll come back if she really loves you. Cheers.

Pray against evil pattern reoccurrence and foundational curses. See a Deliverance minister in MFM for prayers.

avoid everything in green and black bottles and read at least a chapter of the Bible everyday and you'll overcome every psychological disorder ...I've experienced this first hand and there's nothing God can't change

I like the fact that you admitted your wrong. I'm elated at that fact, cos that's the first step to healing.

Now, you have a fantastic set up in a wife. She's the best person to bring you back on track, having come from a stable family. Try and listen to her more.

See, permanent change is deliberate. You MUST be ready to unlearn whatever you've learnt from your family and make a heartfelt decision never to go down that road again, else you'll destroy your family.

First off, do away with alcohol, it won't help at this point.

Do not lose your wife and get closer to God. A lot have been trivialised with spirituality, but I tell you, a sincere and committed relationship with God will help a great deal.

Newsflash: a lot of us grew up in abusive homes, but a deliberate attempt not to be like where we come from helped and still helping us sail through. No be only you dey this boat. Work on yourself bro.

Shalom.

Na season 8 remain for me to watch..

*
Lesson to learn:
Carry ur cross
Correct ursef
Mould her to ur taste instead, a wife beater is a coward

*
To the singles in the house;
Marry your friend, then you will live together in peace of understanding...
There are some signs he/she wud show during ur courting days, watch out and be at alert
Know which to discard and one to keep

for me o i'll advice you quit "THE LIVER FRY" its the cause of your emotional burst, go and apologize to your wife and when going go with a couple of elders she respect to help talk to her,

Again when d anger resurfaces please and please avoid going home look for an hotel to lodge till you come to your senses my Dad thought me and it works,

in all i wish you d best of luck and a peaceful life

Princyony:
I have created a new account for this as I need advice desperately and I have no one else. Apologies if this turns out to be long.

I come from an abusive, broken home. I used to watch my Dad beat my Mom and he used to hit me too. I was sexually molested by a cousin and basically had a a very bad childhood. Lots of anger and yelling all the time is what I remember the majority of it to be. I have a terrible temper and have known this for a long time now. I am an only child, I lost my sister when I was 4, she was 11 months when she died. My wife comes from a solid family with an older brother and sister, her parents have been together for a long time and are happy. She never experienced any of the sort of trauma I did as a youth. I am 29 and she is 26.

My wife and I recently celebrated our first year wedding anniversary and have been going through some tough times lately. We have had a lot of fights in our first year. Mostly caused by me being drunk and I have been physically aggressive with her before, grabbing her by the arm and once pulling her down a set of small steps by. She got pregnant before Christmas so when she told me I was ecstatic with happiness and everything was still fine so last week Saturday my plan was to have a couple of beers with my friend after work to celebrate a special occasion he had and I send her message I’m having a celebratory drink with my friend and she replies yeah I thought so and so now I know she is annoyed and I text her asking whats wrong, it takes about 5 texts and she writes back an hour and half later saying "I knew what you were doing all along, the reason you text me so you could hang out with your friends" and some other stuff basically to the effect of: I picked drinking with friends over her.

So at this point I have had a few beers and I'm in trouble with my wife so I knock back another one or two and at this point I am now pretty drunk as I was drinking fast. I go home and she shows up and she is really angry and yelling at me , the marriage is over , I'm going back to my parents home" I lost it at this point and her to be angry at me now combined with all the other pent up emotions, I just exploded. I pushed her on to the ground and kicked her in her legs a few times. I grabbed her hand and bit it really hard and then bit her on top of her head. I completely lost all control and was consumed with emotions. I felt like I was losing my mind. She looked up at me in terror and I stopped. She got up and told me we were finished and she never wanted to see me again. She punched me in the face and broke my glasses. We threw some dishes and things and I just completely crumbled. She wanted to leave but I was preventing her. I smashed her phone on the ground and pulled her bags off of her. I stopped preventing her from leaving and she opened the door and walked out. I followed her out in the street and tried to talk to her. It was useless of course. She went home.

Her parents are on holiday right now in Canada so it was only her brother who was there. I called the house and she answered and told me to Bleep off basically. So this morning her Sister calls and says they will be contacting the police etc. I am now sitting in my house surrounded by her things which I have to pack up so her Sister can come collect them. I have no one else. My Mother passed away 4 years ago and I have no contact with my Dad. My family structure is basically broken.

I am a good person. I am not violent normally. Anyone I know would tell you "Hey that guys is a really good guy, he has a good heart." This is why my wife loved me, she chose me because I'm a good person. Yet... I feel like a monster. What I did was MONSTROUS. I hate myself right and can barely stand to be alive. I have a problem with alcohol and anger management. I know this much but I don't know where to go for help. I have just ruined the best thing thats ever happened to me in my life. My wife is SUCH a good person. She is literally an angel to me. She does not have a bad or mean bone in her body and look what I did to her. I can't believe it I don't know to deal with it. My worst nightmare is to be like my Dad with women and I have gone and done it. Please help me

Femsyn:
I like the fact that you admitted your wrong. I'm elated at that fact, cos that's the first step to healing.

Now, you have a fantastic set up in a wife. She's the best person to bring you back on track, having come from a stable family. Try and listen to her more.

See, permanent change is deliberate. You MUST be ready unlearn whatever you've learnt from your family and make a heartfelt decision never to go down that road again, else you'll destroy your family.

First off, do away with alcohol, it won't help at this point.

Do not lose your wife and get closer to God. A lot have been trivialised with spirituality, but I tell you, a sincere and committed relationship with God will help a great deal.

Newsflash: a lot of us grew up in abusive homes, but a deliberate attempt not to be like where we come from helped and still helping us sail through. No be only you dey this boat. Work on yourself bro.

Shalom.

Wow thank you. I feel sometimes like I am damaged goods or that I just have something wrong with me that I can't fix. Thank you for the advice, it inspired me.

Oluneutral:
Mr Man, you indeed need help. Consult a counselor, a therapist and a psychologist to help you, because you really need the help.
You're a potential killer!

You should have worked on yourself and your temper before considering marriage. This is how it starts, what if you had killed her during your monstrous attacks on her. You're a threat to yourself, your spouse, your community and your country at large, going by your narrations here.

Better go and see a counselor before leading yourself to the gallows.
A word is enough for the wise, that's if you're wise, anyways.

Thank you