“what is God’s will for you?"
I am the first child of my typical Yoruba parents and for my western Nigerian folks; I guess you understand what that means. Both of them are natives of the same state and hometown. So they had always sung the importance of intra-tribal marriage to us since when we were teenagers. Of course, they added the need for us to marry from the Church (I was born into a Christian home). So, basically, in addition to our own imaginary checklist of childish fantasies, we (my siblings and I) had two items on my parents’ ‘checklist of potential life partner’ for us: marry a Yoruba man in the Lord. That requirement turned out more difficult for me to achieve than how it sounds.

Decision Making

I had turned down a number of marriage proposals because the suitors did not meet both requirements. It was either a Yoruba guy from a different Church or a Christian brother of a different tribe. My friends believed it was a dumb idea to segregate between Christians. “Must he be from your Church?” “Are we all not Christians?” These were regular questions I got from them. It was too hard to make them see why my husband and I needed to be of the same fold. I was growing older and I soon reached a point when I decided to place all my cards on the table. I remembered the story of Mary and Martha in the Bible. Martha had opened the door of her home for Jesus. While he was with them, Mary had chosen the company of Jesus Christ while Martha had chosen to busy herself with serving their guest. Jesus made it clear to her that she was troubling herself with so many things. However, only one thing was needful. Mary had chosen that part and it cannot be taken away from her. It was time to ask myself some hard questions. What was truly important? Could God’s will be the same as my parents’ will? If it wasn’t, then I told myself I was ready to resign to whatever He wills for me. I finally got my cue from the account of Jesus’ temptation in Luke 4. Devil tempted Jesus in three ways and the response he got from Jesus forms the basis of three simple signs to figure out God’s will for anyone. These signs are applicable in different areas in everyday life decision making.
Fitting God’s will into the Decision-making process

Now let’s fix these answers into your question. “What is God’s will for me in this matter?”

Answer: Whatever decision you make

1. Must not contradict God’s word

2. Must not take God’s place in your life, and

3. Must not be an attempt to test God

Sometimes we keep badgering God with our “what-do-you-want-from-me?” lines for months or years and He just seems absolutely silent. I imagine Him just looking at us unruffled like a father watching his kid throw tantrums. A typical Nigerian parent will just say “when you’re done ranting, you know just what to do.” Yes! He already gave you guidelines in His word. Do not go beyond the word. Do not accept whatever would take His place in your life and do not test Him. After all these you are still asking “what do you want me to do?” A lot of times we still keep asking Him not because we don’t know His will but because His will is not ours and we are just hoping that by one ‘streak of fortune’ He can just adjust His will to suit our wish. No, dear! It doesn’t work that way.

What about you?

Are you in a relationship that constantly makes you violate God’s command? Do you have a job offer that will come in between you and God...

For further reading
https://pricelessjournal.com/the-will-of-god/