Today, an event took place that opened my eyes to how rotten the mind of an average Nigerian man has become. A female relative called a family meeting on her husband. At the meeting she revealed that the man is a serial cheat and grossly irresponsible. She tabled how He refuses to spend time with the kids but can stay out with friends till 11pm, how He won't let her keep friends nor join associations but he has membership of 4 different clubs, how he wants unfettered access to her phone while his own phone is on face recognition. This same man didn't let her pursue an M.Sc, because he believed she would become recalcitrant and refuse to do his bidding. In his defense, the man said he adequately provides for the family and the woman should focus on raising "her" kids and not his whereabouts. According to him, as long as he provides for the family, nothing else matters. But he forgets that the cardinal role of a patriarch is "provide and protect". Protection not just against physical harm and aggression, but also against ridicule, reproach and shame from your actions and inactions. One even accused the woman of embarrassing the husband by calling for that meeting.

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Unfortunately, these are the things our women face in this part of the world!

nor for the whittling down of the authority of the patriarchy, but I'm certainly against poisonous patriachy. Nature has put the man in a position of authority, but this must be dispensed within the bounds of wisdom, common sense and great sense of responsibility. After all, to whom much is given, much is expected

crackkhaus:
He who pays the piper dictates the tune...

Blakjewelry:
And my girl is here telling me can cheat and it means nothing. The truth is until girls stop making sex easy to come by this will continue.

Mizwisdom:
Secondly, as her husband has chosen to be a public Dog what is she doing to protect herself so that she can live long to take care of those kids? hope she has stopped all sexual relationship with him or at least ensures he uses a condom?

SweetCunt97:
You not even getting the point bro. This has nothing to do with easy sex

Tripitaka:

Probably so. Main reason I question the symbolism of the bride price system. Subjugation or domination over wives is reflected right from the process of contracting a marriage whereby a man pays a bride price for his wife hence making her his personal property acquisition. The bride price for me symbolizes outright act of transfer of woman’s rights from her family to spouse’s family.

Tripitaka:


This right here is part of my grouse. If the woman were to become a "public dog" would the man be advised to "protect" himself or just kick her out? Would the man be advised to just ignore her and focus on his kids? Would the man be advised to pray for her? Double standards much?

I have seen a woman become very self-critical and easily guilted into being responsible for her partner's irresponsibility and both accepting excuses from them and making excuses for them.

Trust me, this goes beyond having a career and job. The woman I referenced in my OP came from an upper middle class family and well informed but somehow she feels she can't leave nd I totally understand. There can be a primal feeling in a woman's body that she is safer with a man by her side, sometimes even if the man, in reality, is hurting her life. Crazy stuff.

Tripitaka:

Probably so. Main reason I question the symbolism of the bride price system. Subjugation or domination over wives is reflected right from the process of contracting a marriage whereby a man pays a bride price for his wife hence making her his personal property acquisition. The bride price for me symbolizes outright act of transfer of woman’s rights from her family to spouse’s family.

urcutecrush:
Sadly that is the norm for Nigerian men.I have come to the realization that 95% of Nigerian man cheats.

If you marry a Nigerian man be prepared to go through hell because his family and friends will always support his cheating habits and the saddest part the woman’s family too will never advice her to leave just tell her pray,Look good and don’t Nag.

Most Women in marriages are suffering and smiling or have become use to the abuse and are desensitized.

Let’s be realistic if you don’t have the opportunity of getting married to someone not raised with this Norm and values or best not raised in Nigeria then the best you can do for your emotional health as a woman is to marry a man who respects you and will most likely take his cheating far from you and makes you think he does not cheat but in your deepest mind you know he does.

The signs are there while dating.They are always there.

Fanky8:
[s][/s]

LilMissFavvy:
Too bad, I laugh at women who condemn feminism. Some of them need a brain check, the wife of this man most likely could be one of those ladies who mock the feminism movement, shame, now she is having a taste of the pudding, which most of the evilllll blackkkk men have to offer in marriages.

Gradually, the tables will definitely turn, IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME!

djon78:




I may not believe your assumptions.

You will be surprised to know that there are many men that are not into extra marital affairs. Very many men out there.

But the problem is that majority of the time you people expose yourself to the worst of men and then you come up with unverified claims.
That you are exposed to the worst does not mean there are not good men out there.

Its justw like saying that all women are slut.s Because of what some women do, but that's not true, there are exceptionally very good women out there. Depends on what you see.