You see I worked hard to cater for my family, I tried my best but when things was going bad and my wife was in a better position to help, she betrayed me.
I have vowed to pay her back not minding her having two lovely kids for me but after reflecting seriously on my life and how I got to where I am presently, and getting to know God more, then I realized there is a purpose for my predicament, God Knows. About it.
So these are my resolutions
1- have saved lots of cooking tips and styles on my phone, twice in a week, I will follow guides and cook surprising meals.

2- I only depend on one source of income which is fabrication whereas I am good in photography, storytelling and improvising.
So have decided to venture into so many other things both known and unknown. My eyes was opened to udemy on this site.

3- have also vowed to have more time with my family, play with them, laugh with them more cos people n my wife say I hardly laugh.
Take them out to eateries and do shopping for them (these are things I don't do before).

4- my wife learns tailoring though she is a graduate but after series of job search and no work, she decided to learn now I go to know she has some bitchy side she is unwilling to share with me cos one of the video I saw on her phone on her birthday with her colleague at work,, (all female) she was dancing seductively and it moved me but these are things she won't do at home so am gonna tell her to unleach all those are bitchy side on me.

5- want us to be more opened to each other maybe we can get to know each other more.

I think her problem was what she went through as a child, she had an abusive father who always beat up her mum at any given time so she had that arrogant and I will never help any man mentality,she was raised by her mum alone. Now talking about her mum, she is the best woman you can ever meet, she has almost disowned her on several occasions.
Well I too have an abusive father who does the same, we are both first born and because of what my mother went through, I vowed never to lay hand on any woman and never to have two wives.

6- my wife is beautiful and loyal believe me and I believe if I try to know her better than before, we will get to enjoy our relationship.
Reason why I don't want to read Ubunja miseducatjon and all his writeups, don't get me wrong, I have no hard feelings about ubunja or his writeups, some of us are not just ready to face our fears and demons for future sake.

7--and yes I have forgiven her cos she is with the kids in her moms place taking care of them while I go and seek redress to my situation and way forward. One thing about her is, when it comes to her kids, she can do the unthinkable.
She doesn't ask for her upkeep or material things, but the problem I have with her is,
She doesn't respect me
She is arrogant
She doesn't wish to help cos she always believe financial burden should be carried by the husband.
Well maybe it was due to things have done unknowingly or the trauma from her father's attitude and her past.

Pls no redpill or bluepill or greenpill contributions on this thread abeg.

And least I forget, we've been together for eight years now and we are in our early thirties..
Never raised a finger on her.

Cc Ishilove
Cc sehindemi
Cc ubunja
Cc Lalasticlala

Pls I just want mature contributions and pls for heavens sake no insult.

Save for your old age (retirement) and stop being a woman wrapper. She will still mess you up. She will still turn the children against you. She will get more care from the children at old age.
The only help you can do to yourself as a man is to prepare for your old age even as you take care of your children. Forget about her!!! (I don't mean divorce).
Think more of yourself. Forget about spoiling her. She has plans for her life (women are good at this). Plan for yours too, else you lose your authority as a man when you need it most.
Look for money, build a barrack (several miniflat or face me and face you. You will be happy you did when you are in your sixties.

luxy44:
Save for your old age (retirement) and stop being a woman wrapper. She will still mess you up. She will still turn the children against you. She will get more care from the children at old age.
The only help you can do to yourself as a man is to prepare for your old age even as you take care of your children. Forget about her!!! (I don't mean divorce).
Think more of yourself. Forget about spoiling her. She has plans for her life (women are good at this). Plan for yours too, else you lose your authority as a man when you need it most.
Look for money, build a barrack (several miniflat or face me and face you. You will be happy you did when you are in your sixties.

Very important,save and invest for tomorrow. It is always a good thing to do.

However, the best way to save is to buy a virgin land and leave it at least for 20years and if u have some cash u could build on it to further secure it.

Remember, Nigerian economy is prone to recession,inflation,deflation and all the ion's in the world...best way to go is "LAND BANKING" this can ultimately settle all ur retirement wahala in time to come.

luxy44:
Save for your old age (retirement) and stop being a woman wrapper. She will still mess you up. She will still turn the children against you. She will get more care from the children at old age.
The only help you can do to yourself as a man is to prepare for your old age even as you take care of your children. Forget about her!!! (I don't mean divorce).
Think more of yourself. Forget about spoiling her. She has plans for her life (women are good at this). Plan for yours too, else you lose your authority as a man when you need it most.
Look for money, build a barrack (several miniflat or face me and face you. You will be happy you did when you are in your sixties.

everything you said here is something am gonna be doing with discretion, these are things have known on my own, am just talking about not wanting my kids to face what I went through when I was young.
I didn't enjoy a united family so she too didn't,
When I no be mumu, saying I want to love her more doesn't make me soft bro

southniyikaye:
everything you said here is something am gonna be doing with discretion, these are things have known on my own, am just talking about not wanting my kids to face what I went through when I was young.
I didn't enjoy a united family so she too didn't,
When I no be mumu, saying I want to love her more doesn't make me soft bro

All the best bro

You have said it all. You only live once and you have chosen to live it right d be happy about it. Hopefully, you guys bond more and work together towards a much better future together.

You don't want ubunjaa's contribution yet you mentioned him.

I think you would do well with story telling. Diversify your income along that route.

You can also pick up on classes on writing.

bukatyne:
You don't want ubunjaa's contribution yet you mentioned him.

I think you would do well with story telling. Diversify your income along that route.

You can also pick up on classes on writing.

I only wanted his constructive advice

You are on track with your decisions. I don't know you but I believe in you. Go and succeed!

southniyikaye:
You see I worked hard to cater for my family, I tried my best but when things was going bad and my wife was in a better position to help, she betrayed me.
I have vowed to pay her back not minding her having two lovely kids for me but after reflecting seriously on my life and how I got to where I am presently, and getting to know God more, then I realized there is a purpose for my predicament, God Knows. About it.
So these are my resolutions
1- have saved lots of cooking tips and styles on my phone, twice in a week, I will follow guides and cook surprising meals.

2- I only depend on one source of income which is fabrication whereas I am good in photography, storytelling and improvising.
So have decided to venture into so many other things both known and unknown. My eyes was opened to udemy on this site.

3- have also vowed to have more time with my family, play with them, laugh with them more cos people n my wife say I hardly laugh.
Take them out to eateries and do shopping for them (these are things I don't do before).

4- my wife learns tailoring though she is a graduate but after series of job search and no work, she decided to learn now I go to know she has some bitchy side she is unwilling to share with me cos one of the video I saw on her phone on her birthday with her colleague at work,, (all female) she was dancing seductively and it moved me but these are things she won't do at home so am gonna tell her to unleach all those are bitchy side on me.

5- want us to be more opened to each other maybe we can get to know each other more.

I think her problem was what she went through as a child, she had an abusive father who always beat up her mum at any given time so she had that arrogant and I will never help any man mentality,she was raised by her mum alone. Now talking about her mum, she is the best woman you can ever meet, she has almost disowned her on several occasions.
Well I too have an abusive father who does the same, we are both first born and because of what my mother went through, I vowed never to lay hand on any woman and never to have two wives.

6- my wife is beautiful and loyal believe me and I believe if I try to know her better than before, we will get to enjoy our relationship.
Reason why I don't want to read Ubunja miseducatjon and all his writeups, don't get me wrong, I have no hard feelings about ubunja or his writeups, some of us are not just ready to face our fears and demons for future sake.

7--and yes I have forgiven her cos she is with the kids in her moms place taking care of them while I go and seek redress to my situation and way forward. One thing about her is, when it comes to her kids, she can do the unthinkable.
She doesn't ask for her upkeep or material things, but the problem I have with her is,
She doesn't respect me
She is arrogant
She doesn't wish to help cos she always believe financial burden should be carried by the husband.
Well maybe it was due to things have done unknowingly or the trauma from her father's attitude and her past.

Pls no redpill or bluepill or greenpill contributions on this thread abeg.

And least I forget, we've been together for eight years now and we are in our early thirties..
Never raised a finger on her.

Cc Ishilove
Cc sehindemi
Cc ubunja
Cc Lalasticlala

Pls I just want mature contributions and pls for heavens sake no insult.

Your resolution mirrors mine.
I'm an Uber driver and during this stay at home, I realized the folly of a single income family man, to worsen the case no emergency savings and several debts. I'm in my late twenties, I have a son and my wife has a day job that supports us. About outings, I will say I'm not as lacking in that area.
Going forward I'm going to start massive cash stashing, put all energy into work and try diversifying works of my hand.

olamilarks:


Your resolution mirrors mine.
I'm an Uber driver and during this stay at home, I realized the folly of a single income family man, to worsen the case no emergency savings and several debts. I'm in my late twenties, I have a son and my wife has a day job that supports us. About outings, I will say I'm not as lacking in that area.
Going forward I'm going to start massive cash stashing, put all energy into work and try diversifying works of my hand.

may God help us bro. And God should enter our women to think the way we think so the union could lasr

You identifies your problems and preferred solutions. I don't know what you need people's advice for when you already advised yourself.

You are on the right track. Please carry go.

Happiness attracts lots of goodies as you are already working hard.