Pep Guardiola has sensationally resigned as manager of Manchester City after 3 months in charge. City haven’t won a match in any competition since September, but the Spaniard’s decision has nevertheless sent shock waves through the Manchester club.

Pep Guardiola has sensationally resigned as manager of Manchester City after 3 months in charge. City haven’t won a match in any competition since September, but the Spaniard’s decision has nevertheless sent shock waves through the Manchester club.



Guardiola Stressed“I’ve enjoyed every minute of my time here,” Guardiola told Soccer on Sunday. “But I’ve taken this group of players as far as I can. Especially your man Bravo. What the hell was I smoking when I signed that head case? I’ll tell you what I was smoking. Crack. That’s what.”

“I’m clean now,” added the former Barcelona manager. “But a whole chunk of August is a blur. One minute I’m at a house party in Liam Gallagher’s, and next thing I’m waking up stark-bollock naked in the centre circle at The Etihad, with a bunch of texts asking why I’ve signed that stocking of piss John Stones?”

The Spaniard told reporters that he plans on taking a break from football.

“It’s been a tough 12 weeks,” he told Soccer on Sunday. “I’ll probably unwind in New York for a couple of years to recharge my batteries. Some of the Skinny Jeans research going on there is very exciting, and I’d like to stay close to it. There’s clinical trials underway for a new Skinny Crotch that rests a testicle on each side of the seam, rather than mushing them both one way or the other. Football is not my priority right now.”


“But when I do return, it’ll be to a one-horse league like Germany,” added Guardiola. “The Premier League is an eight or nine-horse race. Who needs that kind of stress? Not this genius. I’m pulling the ejector seat before I get played off the park on a rainy night in Stoke.”

MessiFive-time Ballon d^Or winner Lionel Messi confirms that his former manager has made contact.

“The phone calls began the day he arrived in Manchester,” the Argentinian told Soccer on Sunday. “Never says a word, but I’m sure it’s Pep. Just breathes heavily, and whispers ‘you complete me’.”

https://socceronsunday.com/article/guardiola-resigns-as-manager-of-manchester-city/

Source

Ok

Your news is more confusing than the Pandemic!

How does resign after 3 months?

I don't Understand!

April f00l

3 months in charge you say? Op abeg pass me the weed