The writers objective is not very clear to me;is it abt cows he gave his in-laws or celebration of his marriage?Btwn,beautiful bride he got.If u cant deal with anyone's culture,Please stick to your own.

The title is very demeaning to say the least. If I were a member of that family, after reading this article, I'd pay back the dowry and annul the marriage.
He can't even show respect to other people's tradition.

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tpia*:

and why should they charge a white man a cow?

he can marry any lady for free if he so wishes.

nigerians wey dey marry them pass, arent paying that much brideprice i'm sure.

If he can marry anybody, that's his business, but if he's marrying into this culture then he must pay. Why must there be different rules for 'white men'?

Anyway, I'm that many Nigerian cultures only require change for dowry's now.

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^^^ So you ran away, you really need a man tonight, something big and strong with lasting power, you have to really search tonight.

tpia*:

^^he's marrying a bride, not the culture.

is he not?

In most of Africa when you marry a bride you're also marrying the family. If an African marries an English person he would be required to buy gold, silver or diamond rings that cost hundreds to thousands (and sometimes millions), what is the difference with buying cows?

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[img]http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/50895000/jpg/_50895587_chris+kutdance2.jpg[/img]

Isn't she worth all the cows?. He looks like David Beckham and she looks like Brandy





See mega gbadun after the dowry payment.

all this criticism, man!

i thought it was a beautiful story and it's easy to see the happiness in the couple's faces.
obviously this guy loves the lady if he was willing to do all that. nice story.

tpia*:

well, he still has to buy the girl a ring in any case, so it's not quite the same thing.

So Sosotho men must buy gold rings for their wife or is it his own culture? Just drop it.

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tpia*:

^^the man isnt sosotho, so that doesnt apply.

and yes, buying rings is general, not specific per se.

in short, there was no need to start charging cows and whatnot- there's always room for compromise.

the guy is not from their culture, and isnt even black.

this kind of rigidity is counter-productive and will come back to bite you in the behind.

I'm sorry, I don't quite get you!

So if a man were marrying from a tribe that's not his, then then the culture doesn't apply to him?

Like if a yoruba were marrying an igbo then he doesn't have to do the ime ego, igba nkwu and other igbo cultural marriage rites

tpia*:

^^the man isnt sosotho, so that doesnt apply.

and yes, buying rings is general, not specific per se.

in short, there was no need to start charging cows and whatnot- there's always room for compromise.

the guy is not from their culture, and isnt even black.

this kind of rigidity is counter-productive and will come back to bite you in the behind.

Engagement and wedding rings are not general. A western culture adopted by Africans in addition to the ones they already have.

tpia*:

^^the man isnt sosotho, so that doesnt apply.

and yes, buying rings is general, not specific per se.

in short, there was no need to start charging cows and whatnot- there's always room for compromise.

the guy is not from their culture, and isnt even black.

this kind of rigidity is counter-productive and will come back to bite you in the behind.

Rings are not required by Sosotho customs, so how does it count? If it was a Sosotho man being urged by a white family to buy rings you'd say nothing because of a cultural and racial complex. Sorry, I don't see Western culture as the norm that we all most follow. What on earth does rigidity mean? Africans continuing their culture is 'counter-productive'?

/

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tpia*:

this isnt about rings.

you brought rings into the discussion, and i reminded you rings are[b] in addition to [/b] the cows and whatnot.

That's the whole thing, there's no where in the story that he said he was required to buy rings. Rings can sometimes cost more than cows so it is relevant in comparing Sosotho culture and Western culture. If it was a Sosotho man marrying a British person, he would be required to buy expensive rings which would be equivalent to the cows, among other things and MOST UK weddings cost over 5000.

tpia*:

yes, many marriages today involve rings, regardless of location. This isnt the 13th century.

What does that even mean? Since when do rings in marriages indicate modernism? Many marriages involve rings, but it isn't a requirement in Sosotho marriages. So if a man buys rings when marrying a Western woman, he will buy cows when marrying a Sosotho woman, no matter if he is a precious white man that can "marry anybody he likes". If he wants to buy rings and do a white wedding then that's not the Sosotho people's business because they didn't ask him to.

tpia*:

this isnt about rings.

you brought rings into the discussion, and i reminded you rings are[b] in addition to [/b] the cows and whatnot.


yes, many marriages today involve rings, regardless of location. This isnt the 13th century.

rigidity in the sense that the relatives are supposed to be looking out for the woman, not themselves alone.

as such, they should have tailored the requirements to reflect what the man is used to, and what he'd appreciate
na my opinion o!.

na my opinion o!

Why should Africans be required to adjust their culture to what the man is accustomed to but the westerners don't care about what we are accustomed to whenever we want to marry their daughters?. Buying cows in my opinion makes more sense than buying a tiny piece of shiny stone for thousands of dollars. But it is their company and no African is saying they should ban it rather, our women are copying the culture and imposing it on their suitors.

ezeagu:


What does that even mean? Since when do rings in marriages indicate modernism? Many marriages involve rings, but it isn't a requirement in Sosotho marriages. So if a man buys rings when marrying a Western woman, he will buy cows when marrying a Sosotho woman, no matter if he is a precious white man that can "marry anybody he likes". If he wants to buy rings and do a white wedding then that's not the Sosotho people's business because they didn't ask him to.

GbaM.

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I'm sure if he objected to the traditions, he wouldn't have agree to it. He probably even liked it. I know how some oyinbo ppl are all about experiencing african culture and whatnot.

Most Oyinbos buy their brides rings that can buy a whole village of cows, Guess he bought his wife also when he bought the ring

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Does it matter who he gives the ring to?

What matters is that he took money out of his pocket and spent it to get married.

If a culture demands you buy Gold dust and throw it into the air, Does it matter if you didnt give to someone?

Bottom line, He took his money to buy something to enable him get married so he is indirectly "BUYING" the bride

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tpia*:

he isnt buying the bride if he puts a ring on[b] her [/b] finger.

they're still married without the ring.

How many people marry without the ring in his culture? Probably equal to number of people who marry without the cow In her culture

tpia*:

he isnt buying the bride if he puts a ring on[b] her [/b] finger.

they're still married without the ring.

Some brides (and grooms) would disagree.

^^ trtue,

Thats why the saying and song "PU A RING ON IT" is popular in Some cultures

^Baba agba when wud u put a ring on her?

^^ Bring her from where you hid her first so i can put a ring on her