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U no call us wen u dey chop ur sallah meat am...no advice for u.go.

donbachi:
U no call us wen u dey chop ur sallah meat am...no advice for u.go.

lol. The network was bad when I tried to call you bro.
But seriously, I will appreciate your opinion /advice on the issue l posted

Your brother is an irresponsible man.

They always poo everywhere for someone else to pack it. Dont be surprised if he is somewhere having sex with another lady while you are learning daddy duties.

I thank God for my brothers, they don't try that. ...


The major problem however started from your parents.

Well, you just have to live with it. I hope you learn from it.

Family problem on top Covid-19.

Guy, immediately your brothers arrive for sallah, after the celebration on that day,pack your bags and do a mini travel to a friend's house,be the first to leave, let's see who he will drop the kids for.Don't marry for a wrong reason,marry because you want to and ready to.

You better voice out your anger now!!

chii8:
Guy, immediately your brothers arrive for sallah, after the celebration on that day,back your bags and do a mini travel to a friend's house,be the first to leave, let's see who he will drop the kids for.Don't marry for a wrong reason,marry because you want to and ready to.

I hope he will Heed this advice

This your Case is Over-Strong

Olayinka8793:
I am a 26 years old guy who works and earns a living as a barber. I still live in my dad's house which happens to be not too far from my barbing salon shop.
My plan was to move into my own personal house whenever I leave my dad's own, but my house isn't completed yet.
I come from a Muslim family, so every sallah, like the recent one of last Friday, all my married senior brothers and few sisters comes to the family house to celebrate the sallah with my dad.
There is this particular brother of mine that always makes life very difficult for me immediately after the sallah celebration.
The problem is that he comes from Ibadan down here to Ogun state to celebrate with us like the rest of my brothers and sisters, he is married to two wives (his greatest mistake in life) which contributed to his usually negative financial situation. None of his two wives are living with him in Ibadan, the second wife bore him two kids which she took away with her after calling it quit with the marriage (primarily due to financial suffering), while he (my brother) managed to secure the custody of his other 3 children born to him by his first wife who has also stopped living with him.
Now every sallah, he will come with his 3 children from the first wife to celebrate with us, and while every other family members would depart back to their various home at least two days after the sallah celebration, he will depart alone while leaving his three sons to be taken care of by God knows who.
Of a truth, I am his targeted children caretaker because he knows l am the only remaining son of our dad who is not yet married and who is fairly comfortable. The facts that I am not married or not yet with kids must have informed him that I don't have any responsibility to bother with and so l should be very OK to take care of his sons.
There is nothing l hate more than that and I am boiling with anger as I am typing this.
While it is true l am not married yet or have kids, I do have my own responsibilities/problems to deal with such as trying to save up money to complete my house, giving my old mum daily stipen (she doesn't live with my dad, she lives at her mum's house), I also got several other family members, even cousins and aunts/uncles that disturb me from time to time and I try to help whenever I can and ignore them most of the time.
This 3 burden some children of my wicked elder brothers are still staying with me right now (it is a big face me l face you house) and I had have to be dropping money for their feeding daily before going to my barbing salon shop because my dad is the type of Dad that doesn't give a fvck about taking care of his children, much less his grandchildren because he is a polygamous man with four wives and several children ( we all grew up to learn different trades and became successful by the grace of God.
So basically, this 3 burden some children are my temporary responsibilities now pending when their wicked dad who is my brother decides to come and take them which could take up to a month and it is draining me emotionally and financially.
I can't complain to my brother as it will make me feel remorseful afterwards and will cause bad blood between us, neither can l complain to our dad as he is a careless talker who will probably reprimand my brother while exposing me as the one who complained to him. And my mum as a woman will never consider my suffering and would ask me to endure since he is my brother and the 3 burden children are her grandchildren.
I am thinking of getting married before the next sallah to avoid a reoccurence of the burden because by then I will have a valid excuse and will prefer to hustle for my wife and kids instead of hustling to take care of another man's children. But the problem is, although I have a serious girlfriend now, I am not yet ready financially for marriage as my goal now is to gather enough money to complete my house before deciding to hustle money to start a family.
I am so confused right now I don't know how to go about preventing a re occurrence of this yearly sallah miseries while still living in my dad's house.
Your opinions and suggestions will be appreciated.

Will your wife and children not be a burden?

Squillaci:

Will your wife and children not be a burden?

At least it is better to carry my own burden than carrying another person's own.

chii8:
Guy, immediately your brothers arrive for sallah, after the celebration on that day,back your bags and do a mini travel to a friend's house,be the first to leave, let's see who he will drop the kids for.Don't marry for a wrong reason,marry because you want to and ready to.

I would have love to do as you suggested but the problem is that my saloon shop is not too far from the house, and I am always present in shop so there is no way they won't come and trace me to my shop after noticing my absence.

Endure and pack out later to a small house that cant fit 3 kids. Many are digging theirs grave giving birth to many kids. Foolish lot

Amanee:



I hope he will Heed this advice

I wish I could too, but my barbing salon shop is not too far from the house and I am always present in shop, so if they don't see my presence at home, they will definitely trace me to my shop.

ednut1:
Endure and pack out later to a small house that cant fit 3 kids. Many are digging theirs grave giving birth to many kids. Foolish lot

Noted bro.
Thanks.

GoldenJAT:
You better voice out your anger now!!

I just don't have the courage to, lest my other brothers and sisters see me as wicked and insensitive.

Olayinka8793:
I would have love to do as you suggested but the problem is that my saloon shop is not too far from the house, and I am always present in shop so there is no way they won't come and trace me to my shop after noticing my absence.

Guy,lock up the shop for a week nah, don't you normally give yourself a treat during the festive season?

Olayinka8793:
I wish I could too, but my barbing salon shop is not too far from the house and I am always present in shop, so if they don't see my presence at home, they will definitely trace me to my shop.

One chance

To deal effectively with the issue, you should come out pomp and plain and let your brother know you can't take care of his kids for him. It's as simple as that. Getting married just because of this is like cutting your nose to spite your face, it's a lose-lose situation.

And what's wrong in taking care of 3kids? Just close eye buy one basin of garri make dem dey drink with salt morning, noon and night. By the time your brother comes back and see his kids all skinny and emmaciated, he would think twice before leaving them for you. Complete the house before you marry o.

.

Amanee:


One chance

To deal effectively with the issue, you should come out pomp and plain and let your brother know you can't take care of his kids for him. It's as simple as that. Getting married just because of this is like cutting your nose to spite your face, it's a lose-lose situation.

I wish I had the liver to let him know to his face. He is much senior to me, he is 42 years while I am just 26. I guess I would have to let him know indirectly by posting about it on some of the social media platforms we share together and hope to God he sees it and get the message.

NerdyRudeGyal:
Since you don't want to speak up for yourself, then keep suffering na. Because ayam not understanding. The only way he'll stop is if you voice your displeasure of this yearly occurrence. To him, your silence may mean you're okay with him leaving his kids with you and showing up to get them whenever he wants, or you're one mumu he can continue to inconvenience + take advantage of. In either case, he'll keep it up if you don't talk.

Hmmm. I don't have the liver or courage, I am in serious dilemma.

chii8:



Guy,lock up the shop for a week nah, don't you normally give yourself a treat during the festive season?

Barbing saloon business is not like that my sister. In fact, festive periods are the most profitable in barbing business and hairdressing and so on.
Thanks for your input though.

Olayinka8793:
I am a 26 years old guy who works and earns a living as a barber. I still live in my dad's house which happens to be not too far from my barbing salon shop.
My plan was to move into my own personal house whenever I leave my dad's own, but my house isn't completed yet.
I come from a Muslim family, so every sallah, like the recent one of last Friday, all my married senior brothers and few sisters comes to the family house to celebrate the sallah with my dad.
There is this particular brother of mine that always makes life very difficult for me immediately after the sallah celebration.
The problem is that he comes from Ibadan down here to Ogun state to celebrate with us like the rest of my brothers and sisters, he is married to two wives (his greatest mistake in life) which contributed to his usually negative financial situation. None of his two wives are living with him in Ibadan, the second wife bore him two kids which she took away with her after calling it quit with the marriage (primarily due to financial suffering), while he (my brother) managed to secure the custody of his other 3 children born to him by his first wife who has also stopped living with him.
Now every sallah, he will come with his 3 children from the first wife to celebrate with us, and while every other family members would depart back to their various home at least two days after the sallah celebration, he will depart alone while leaving his three sons to be taken care of by God knows who.
Of a truth, I am his targeted children caretaker because he knows l am the only remaining son of our dad who is not yet married and who is fairly comfortable. The facts that I am not married or not yet with kids must have informed him that I don't have any responsibility to bother with and so l should be very OK to take care of his sons.
There is nothing l hate more than that and I am boiling with anger as I am typing this.
While it is true l am not married yet or have kids, I do have my own responsibilities/problems to deal with such as trying to save up money to complete my house, giving my old mum daily stipen (she doesn't live with my dad, she lives at her mum's house), I also got several other family members, even cousins and aunts/uncles that disturb me from time to time and I try to help whenever I can and ignore them most of the time.
This 3 burden some children of my wicked elder brothers are still staying with me right now (it is a big face me l face you house) and I had have to be dropping money for their feeding daily before going to my barbing salon shop because my dad is the type of Dad that doesn't give a fvck about taking care of his children, much less his grandchildren because he is a polygamous man with four wives and several children ( we all grew up to learn different trades and became successful by the grace of God.
So basically, this 3 burden some children are my temporary responsibilities now pending when their wicked dad who is my brother decides to come and take them which could take up to a month and it is draining me emotionally and financially.
I can't complain to my brother as it will make me feel remorseful afterwards and will cause bad blood between us, neither can l complain to our dad as he is a careless talker who will probably reprimand my brother while exposing me as the one who complained to him. And my mum as a woman will never consider my suffering and would ask me to endure since he is my brother and the 3 burden children are her grandchildren.
I am thinking of getting married before the next sallah to avoid a reoccurence of the burden because by then I will have a valid excuse and will prefer to hustle for my wife and kids instead of hustling to take care of another man's children. But the problem is, although I have a serious girlfriend now, I am not yet ready financially for marriage as my goal now is to gather enough money to complete my house before deciding to hustle money to start a family.
I am so confused right now I don't know how to go about preventing a re occurrence of this yearly sallah miseries while still living in my dad's house.
Your opinions and suggestions will be appreciated.

Just exercise more patient, since you said he will likely to come and the take the kid away in a moth time. And your plan to get marry isn't that far.

Do all you can to complete your house as soon as you can bro but in the meantime, do not fail to help those kids out, they're family although they aren't your responsibilities, just do your part and if they are grown already then you can make sure they also go in search of a job or learn trades.
About wanting to get married before the next sallah, I'll advise you not to if your sole reason is wanting to avoid taking care of your brother's children.
Sorry ehn, may God elevate you to the point that you'll never have to worry about the burden that comes with helping people.

So this barbing thing dey fetch good money? Are you I shouldn't switch business since Corona no wan kill people for here like other places.

OP how much do you make in your saloon in a month? Make we advise each other

UndauntedYOCA:
Do all you can to complete your house as soon as you can bro but in the meantime, do not fail to help those kids out, they're family although they aren't your responsibilities, just do your part and if they are grown already then you can make sure they also go in search of a job or learn trades.
About wanting to get married before the next sallah, I'll advise you not to if your sole reason is wanting to avoid taking care of your brother's children.
Sorry ehn, may God elevate you to the point that you'll never have to worry about the burden that comes with helping people.

Noted sister.
Thanks for your wise input.

Family is everything, while not everyone will get to appreciate it in the end, but do it with love and the burden will feel less. It's true that the economy is somehow, but we are supposed to be there for each other.
Don't show grudge when giving those kids for you never can tell how they will benefit you or your own kids in the future.

.

YourCoffin:
So this barbing thing dey fetch good money? Are you I shouldn't switch business since Corona no wan kill people for here like other places.

OP how much do you make in your saloon in a month? Make we advise each other

Bro, there is no business that can't fetch you good profit believe me. The most important thing is Gods grace in whatever business you choose. Even if you want to be selling grass, as long as God's grace is in your business, you will blow, believe me. It is not every barber that is successful, I know of two or three fellow barbers who no longer do barbing plus several other present barbers who are struggling.
Grace is everything.

Olayinka8793:
I wish I had the liver to let him know to his face. He is much senior to me, he is 42 years while I am just 26. I guess I would have to let him know indirectly by posting about it on some of the social media platforms we share together and hope to God he sees it and get the message.

don't post anything anywhere, just quietly explain to him the stress and he will hopefully understand.

Olayinka8793:
I wish I had the liver to let him know to his face. He is much senior to me, he is 42 years while I am just 26. I guess I would have to let him know indirectly by posting about it on some of the social media platforms we share together and hope to God he sees it and get the message.

Don't be shady.
Confront your issues face to face like a man.