Today I laid on my bed reading a nice book, lost in the words of the writer, and enjoying it greatly. Until I was drawn to the sound coming from the other room, giggles, and laughter belonging to my kids. My daughter and my son, to an ordinary mum it would be a sound you are used to. Kids laughing while playing or watching their favorite T.V show. You may at some point even scream at them to be quiet. (not judging). But to me, it was and is everything I had prayed for. I momentarily put down my book and felt grateful. I whispered to myself, that day I prayed for is now! Thank you, Lord, that I’m aware of and enjoying it.

You see those sound that floated into my room wasn’t a normal occurrence. It's usually very quiet in our home except for the stimming sounds. Up until my daughter came into our lives and even after. My daughter became the official chatterbox of the family which we were and still so thankful for. My son didn’t say much up until the age of five. Even then, it was more like broken words that took a whole lot of patience to piece together. But before that, it was nothing. He had sounded, but no words. I did remember his first word being “FAN” but now I can’t remember if he copied me or said it out all on his own. This was before we got our official diagnosis. Or even suspected anything was off. He would stare up at the ceiling fan and giggle so much and I would say to him while pointing FAN! Say it FAN! But with all I know now that was a classic tell sign of ASD. After that, it was silence and a lot of guesses about what you think I want? Then one-word statement.


Example: if he wanted something to eat, he would say “HUNGRY” and if he was thirsty, he would say “WATER” he would also take you to the exact location and point at it.


I once googled how many words should a five-year-old have? (yep I have googled all sorts in this our journey, google has relived and tormented me at the same time lol). According to an article from “kidshealth.org” at 2 years, a child will say 50 words or more, use phrases, and be able to put together two-word sentences. But here we are at 4 years and we were pointing, which honestly looking back now I’m still grateful. We equally stopped indulging him. Dragging us up and pulling at us to come with him wasn’t going to cut it anymore. We needed more, I needed more. So even when he pointed, I wouldn’t act. I would demand more from him before I acted. If he wanted food, I would ask him to say “I’m hungry” if he wanted water I would say “water please”.


We started making sentences on behalf of him and coaching him to say it. And he would fight it. He would cry so much and kick and stomp his feet and throw himself on the floor and refuse to co-operate. My heart couldn’t take it, I was tempted so many times to give up and go back to the old ways. they were easier, it wasn’t hurting anyone and at least he would always have me to do things for him right? Wrong! That was what my heart said to me. I nearly gave in, but I know this wasn’t right, it wasn’t sustainable. He needed to grow, the sad thing was he wasn’t going to be a little boy forever. No matter how tough it was, it was a tough right choice for the two of us. So yes! It would take a long time, but it's possible. I got to see how determined and strong-willed my son was and still is and I respected him for it, but I equally had to be more determined and strong-willed too. (I mentally noted that it will come in handy one day) I switched it up to “survival of the fittest” and I was not going to lose out to a kid! Lol, guess what ? it turned around. No matter how long he cried for or refused to say anything, I would make sure he was safe and not in any way hurting himself, and then we would wait it out. If it needed my lying there with him and singing the sentences in his favorite animated voice, I did it. If it needed me role-playing as him to get him to say it, I did it. The bottom line was and is we were moving. We progressed to one word, then too broken sentences.


Today while I laid in bed reading my book, my son was talking to his sister about it being his turn to choose a show to watch on the T.V, he was expressing his feelings, communicating appropriately and we didn’t have to read his mind or guess his thoughts. Who knew? Well God knew lol.



NOTE: Progress is a relative term. Some of the things written in this story took some months even years to manifest. So it’s a journey that needs lots of patience. But consistency is key!


http://www.redefineautism.com/2020/08/today-i-laid-on-my-bed-reading.html?m=1