1. Triangle group:

This is the most conservative category. The most efficient way to graduate with a 2.1 is by joining this category. Triangle in this case, denotes a tripartite pattern of lifestyle on campus: Hostel, Class and Library, nothing more. If school is in session, you will certainly find them in any of these places or else check the clinic. This category have no time for anything apart from studying, this is where you find the efikos and the ‘la cram la pour’ individuals. In all honesty 90% of them make excellent grades, except the follow-follow amongst them.


2. Relationship group
Either one relationship or multiple relationships, these ones can’t be without a relationship throughout their stay in school. Most of them cohabit and already have 5 years marriage experience before even getting a single work experience.

3. Old age group
Do you remember that 38 year old lady/man in your department? This is their category. You will be talking to your colleague and be saying sir, sir, sir. These ones have experienced how it is in the real world and have come back to achieve their academic dreams. Most times they offer unsolicited advice that youngsters can hardly relate to. They try to study and cope but most of them end up with 2:2.

4. Cultism group
These are the real MEN. If you know, you know. Awon Wole Soyinka.

5. Religious group
Also know as Spirikoko people, these ones can carry church and mosque matter on their head eh. Lectures will be going on but you will mostly find them under the tree behind the hall carrying out intercessory prayers. They are very selective of the people in their circle and move in cliques. Religious extremism is the passcode to break into their circle. I admire them a lot, but sadly a vast majority are hypocrites.

6. Off off campus group
These ones don’t just live off campus, they live off off campus ie. they live in ‘town’. Only God knows how they get to hear about tests, assignments and exams because you will never see them in school/class, but will find them in every crucial situation: examination. These ones are either working full time jobs or too lazy/uninspired to attend classes. This category have mastered the art of blocking, sorting and egunje, they are on first name terms with your professors. Most of them just want a final CGPA of 2.53 and they feel accomplished.

7. Prostitution and sugar daddy group
These are the slay queens, slay mamas, runs girls and campus shepeteris. These ones are not your mates because they move with the high and mighty in town. Well versed with all the hotels, clubs, swimming pools, hangout spots etc., they possess the latest gadgets and fashion items including hairs, eyelashes, perfumes, jewelry, lingeries, bags, etc. Inasmuch as most of them are empty headed, a good percentage of them eventually graduate with 2.1. E shock you?

8. Aspiring entertainers group
The campus musicians, actresses, beauty queens and party organizers are found here. Most of them are extremely talented but just a few get to live the dream of becoming superstars.

9. Politics group
These ones are activists cum politicians. From department president to faculty senator to SUG general secretary. Very pompous set of people who start feeling like Obafemi Awolowo after winning an election. It is in this category that corruption was birthed in Nigeria.

10. Yahoo boys group
Romance scammers, hackers, ‘investors’ and ‘traders’. This category consist of our famed G boys who will prove to you that anything is possible with money. These Extremely loud set of people will flaunt heavy cars and the most contemporary gadgets in the most controversial manner. They oppress and suppress those who get stipends from home, to the extent that ‘if you can’t beat them, join them’. Most guys are so scared of them and the ladies are usually happy around them. They party like 99, live lavida loca, if e pain you, go hug transformer.

NB: Fashionistas, Sex freaks, pastors kids, rich kids are evenly distributed amongst these groups.

Religious Group. na we carry church matter for head. We are even more catholic than the pope himself. Lol.

WEll said

I can't even see a group I blended very well in. Mine was partly religious, partly triangular.

u forgot to add the funniest which is the I too know everything group.they know the VC,the CSO,cheif librarian,bursar, register,sug, infact everything they know.i wonder who and how they know.

this is where I belong - rectangle gang - school, work, church, off campus hostel

Well said, I'm universal because I parole with all the group during my stay

Team 1&5

The 007 crew. They don't talk to anyone, they are always in their own cos they ain't got time for shiii.

awon wire wire quarters

Very true, I belong to the triangular group but quite unfortunate that I almost lived like a hypocrite because of pressures from ladies during TDB.
I was just collecting free foods, smooching and romance at nights after long hours of reading....
One girl nearly killed me with heads....

N.B: I still graduated with a first class though before preachers would come for me

What about the sports group?? Always available for NUGA etc...they miss exams and tests yet they don't fail because they represent the school!!

the group is inconclusive

What of my group.....the Free spirit group?


Friends with virtually everyone in the department if not the whole faculty, parties a lot, still belongs in groups 2 and 5 and comes out with a respectable grade.


Xforce squad, I sight u

The sportsmen group�

Me na NBM I join for school

OP, I score you 80 over 100. You missed 3 groups

1) Student religious groups like departmental religious fellowships, muslim students fellowship, Christian students association etc
2) business students. This ones are schooling and running part time business on campus, either in hostel or in department. They sell handouts, exam questions, run tutorials classes
3) lecturers children groups. They live in quarters, their parents are either lecturers and professors. They usually graduate with 1st class too but some turn out to be Marlians

True

Hmmm.

Omo na group 1 all the way O..
I no dey like failure or anything wey be like am
We go come use group 9 balance am. Chai

Openbusiness:
OP, I score you 80 over 100. You missed 3 groups

1) Student religious groups like departmental religious fellowships, muslim students fellowship, Christian students association etc
2) business students. This ones are schooling and running part time business on campus, either in hostel or in department. They sell handouts, exam questions, run tutorials classes
3) lecturers children groups. They live in quarters, their parents are either lecturers and professors. They usually graduate with 1st class too but some turn out to be Marlians

He addressed your number 1. Check his number 5 explanation and see the similarities.

Your number 2 was never addressed, so spot on.

Your number 3 is not that significant in the scheme of things. Majority of lecturers' children in public owned universities and some private owned universities hardly attend the same university their parents lecture. Although there are few exceptions to this in standard universities such as OAU, CU, UI and UNILAG because of the quality education these universities offer.

You will therefore agree with me that your number 3 grouping only apply to a small percentage (25% at best) of various universities in Nigeria and therefore does not deserve a spot in this wonderful article.

Masonkaycares:
The 007 crew. They don't talk to anyone, they are always in their own cos they ain't got time for shiii.

Na we be that.

Masonkaycares:
The 007 crew. They don't talk to anyone, they are always in their own cos they ain't got time for shiii.

This was my group, i just ghost past university.

By the way:
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DontBullshitMe:

He addressed your number 1. Check his number 5 explanation and see the similarities.

Your number 2 was never addressed, so spot on.

Your number 3 is not that significant in the scheme of things. Majority of lecturers' children in public owned universities and some private owned universities hardly attend the same university their parents lecture. Although there are few exceptions to this in standard universities such as OAU, CU, UI and UNILAG because of the quality education these universities offer.

You will therefore agree with me that your number 3 grouping only apply to a small percentage (25% at best) of various universities in Nigeria and therefore does not deserve a spot in this wonderful article.

You're very correct! My eyes skipped #5

None

Just off campus Just few friends and very few relationship

None of the above

And my own group

Respect to all those who are being looked down upon because of their present challenges. You are more than the challenges. You will win if you do not give up. You are not alone. No condition is permanent. Every season has its time.

Schooling is education, but education is not schooling. Education is more than academics.

You can't always predict the success of a person by one stage of his/her life.

Be strong.

I no fit find my own group

I know people in group 1 that graduated with 3rd Class.

The people in that politics group are more corrupt than Buhari and his cabinet, if Nigeria really wants to fight corruption they should start from all these University unionists tueh.

I can't relate with No.1

#11...None of the above den