Is it proper for a husband to give a gift to his Ex. through his wife.

An ex called the husband that she has financial problems and that she needed foodstuffs.

The husband is planning to assist her this December through his wife but the wife said no no no and she is raising dust over it.

The ex was kind to the husband before he changed location and married the wife.

Please is there and problem in the above.

CHIMCO:
Is it proper for a husband to give a gift to his Ex. through his wife.

An ex called the husband that she has financial problems and that she needed foodstuffs.

The husband is planning to assist her this December through his wife but the wife said no no no and she is raising dust over it.

The ex was kind to the husband before he changed location and married the wife.

Please is there and problem in the above.

. Women are like that; a wife ought not know about everything concerning the husband, especially thing that has to do with the husband's family and past relationships if the man wants peace at home.

The man should have genuinely done that without involving the wife.

It's not too hard to decode that the wife wouldn't agree

Why is he trying to ressurect a dead relationship? Doesn't he know that a bond can start forming again from that little gesture and the woman might want a come back.?

It's totally wrong. On no account should he connect back to his ex cos its very risky and temptation can come from there.

Men...

CalliDora1:
Why is he trying to ressurect a dead relationship? Doesn't he know that a bond can start forming again from that little gesture and the woman might want a come back.?

It's totally wrong. On no account should he connect back to his ex cos its very risky and temptation can come from there.

Men...

Everything is not black and white, give once and if she ask again then u know d babe is trying something fishy. Hunger dey naija at the moment.

Ademat7:

Everything is not black and white, give once and if she ask again then u know d babe is trying something fishy. Hunger dey naija at the moment.

I know and im not saying he shouldn't help but how come he still has her contact? Which means they had been in communicado even before now?

He should help her though. Hopefully nothing fishy springs up from this.

CHIMCO:
Is it proper for a husband to give a gift to his Ex. through his wife.

An ex called the husband that she has financial problems and that she needed foodstuffs.

The husband is planning to assist her this December through his wife but the wife said no no no and she is raising dust over it.

The ex was kind to the husband before he changed location and married the wife.

Please is there and problem in the above.

It okay for you to help a person in need, and your wife is right too. Help your wife to understand you're only trying to help, but don't go overboard and derail from your noble intention.

-

Nuyokoi:
truth be told, as a married man,
1. communicating with your ex is disservice to your wife
2. your wife's response to this situation should be respected

that said,
1. render the assistance (with your wife's approval)
2. cut off communication with your ex thenceforth

There was no problem or misunderstanding between the husband and the Ex.

Just that the husband changed location and met and married the wife.

The Ex is also married with children but finds it difficult to feed her family. Her husband has no meaningful job.

She specifically requested for foodstuffs like yams & co. What is wrong in given it to her with nothing attached and with the consent of the wife. All Ex are not enemies.

FortifiedCity:
The man should have genuinely done that without involving the wife.

It's not too hard to decode that the wife wouldn't agree

Behind her backs? I think it too dangerous if she finds out and she can read a lot of meaning to it. Trust women on that.

CalliDora1:
Why is he trying to ressurect a dead relationship? Doesn't he know that a bond can start forming again from that little gesture and the woman might want a come back.?

It's totally wrong. On no account should he connect back to his ex cos its very risky and temptation can come from there.

Men...

Except there was misunderstanding or problems between the husband the Ex before you tag it dead relationship. Every Ex is not and enemy. There is nothing risky there, both are married.

Twenty8:


It okay for you to help a person in need, and your wife is right too. Help your wife to understand you're only trying to help, but don't go overboard and derail from your noble intention.

Well Said.

CHIMCO:
Is it proper for a husband to give a gift to his Ex. through his wife.

An ex called the husband that she has financial problems and that she needed foodstuffs.

The husband is planning to assist her this December through his wife but the wife said no no no and she is raising dust over it.

The ex was kind to the husband before he changed location and married the wife.

Please is there and problem in the above.

Let's flip it, as a married man how will you feel if your wife contacts her Ex to help her out with foodstuffs because you have no meaningful job?

Should your wife let you know she is contacting her Ex?

Will you as a husband believe that her contacting the Ex will be a one off thing?

How best do you think your wife's Ex can help without causing friction in his own marriage?

CHIMCO:
There was no problem or misunderstanding between the husband and the Ex.

Just that the husband changed location and met and married the wife.

it appears you're not over your "Ex".
a problem or misunderstanding didn't have to occur.
you didn't marry her bc it wasn't meant to be.
moveon.com

CHIMCO:
The Ex is also married with children but finds it difficult to feed her family.

married people can still cheat - under the guise of being married.

CHIMCO:
Her husband has no meaningful job.

that's not your business.

CHIMCO:
She specifically requested for foodstuffs like yams & co. What is wrong in given it to her with nothing attached and with the consent of the wife. All Ex are not enemies.

but your wife isn't consenting ( "the wife said no no no and she is raising dust over it" ).

the bigger picture? your wife doesn't like your relationship with your "Ex" \ doesn't want you communicating with her.
how do you not see that?

Mindlog:


Let's flip it, as a married man how will you feel if your wife contacts her Ex to help her out with foodstuffs because you have no meaningful job?

Should your wife let you know she is contacting her Ex?

Will you as a husband believe that her contacting the Ex will be a one off thing?

How best do you think your wife's Ex can help without causing friction in his own marriage?

The husband resisted at first because Of the Ex husband but the Ex assured him that her husband will not mind. She is trying to survive here.and no dirty things on the mind.(both sides)

Nuyokoi:
it appears you're not over your "Ex".
a problem or misunderstanding didn't have to occur.
you didn't marry her bc it wasn't meant to be.
moveon.com

married people can still cheat - under the guise of being married.

that's not your business.

but your wife isn't consenting ( "the wife said no no no and she is raising dust over it" ).

the bigger picture? your wife doesn't like your relationship with your "Ex" \ doesn't want you communicating with her.
how do you not see that?

You are mean oooo

Mindlog:


Let's flip it, as a married man how will you feel if your wife contacts her Ex to help her out with foodstuffs because you have no meaningful job?

Should your wife let you know she is contacting her Ex?

Will you as a husband believe that her contacting the Ex will be a one off thing?

How best do you think your wife's Ex can help without causing friction in his own marriage?

I will not like it. The Ex insisted that his husband will not mind. At times things can be critical in a family and one can try to survive like in her case. There is nothing wrong in given provided it does not go beyond that.

CHIMCO:


The husband resisted at first because Of the Ex husband but the Ex assured him that her husband will not mind. She is trying to survive here.and no dirty things on the mind.(both sides)

Is it not expected that the Ex would give such assurance and can the husband boldly say the Ex first discussed her calling him with her husband? When it comes to the mind, there are no assurances because emotions are fluid. You know very well as a man, that you will feel uncomfortable with your wife re-establishing contact with her Ex to seek help because it makes her emotionally vulnerable with the Ex.

CHIMCO:
Except there was misunderstanding or problems between the husband the Ex before you tag it dead relationship. Every Ex is not and enemy. There is nothing risky there, both are married.

Can you say this if it were the other way around?

Apart from this scenario here, why would you want to relate with an ex again?
Its this kind of mentality that makes you men to do some despicable things in marriage and won't see anything wrong in it.
How can you say every ex is not an enemy?
Haven't you heard of ex's breaking homes?

If not for a genuine reason in this story like we are made to believe, the man is not supposed to still be contacting that his ex because it is quite risky. And for your info, all ex's are potential enemies, directly or indirectly. So, you better thread with caution.

At times, it is not good to be honest to a partner that is not matured.

He should have partnered with an NGO and instructed the NGO to give to her. That way No suspicion. Everyone is happy.

The title of this thread appears to be misleading, because there is no evidence of "family wahala" in it. Instead what I see is an insensate masochist with an exuberant taste for self-violence (apologies to China Achebe), eager to destroy his home. I don't believe you have a selfless reason to assist your ex. And even if there is a modicum of altruism in your determined quest to reestablish with her, your wife's objection, even though it seems a bit harsh and unsettling, should be respected.

To add to what some people have written, would you countenance a scenario where your wife reestablishes with one of her exes, and is scheming on giving him financial assistance? Even if your answer is affirmative, it does not void her concerns. If you can't convince her on why assisting is necessary, back off immediately.

tobechi74:
At times, it is not good to be honest to a partner that is not matured.

He should have partnered with an NGO and instructed the NGO to give to her. That way No suspicion. Everyone is happy.

Well said. You have sense.

mrblessed:
The title of this thread appears to be misleading, because there is no evidence of "family wahala" in it. Instead what I see is an insensate masochist with an exuberant taste for self-violence (apologies to China Achebe), eager to destroy his home. I don't believe you have a selfless reason to assist your ex. And even if there is a modicum of altruism in your determined quest to reestablish with her, your wife's objection, even though it seems a bit harsh and unsettling, should be respected.

To add to what some people have written, would you countenance a scenario where your wife reestablishes with one of her exes, and is scheming on giving him financial assistance? Even if your answer is affirmative, it does not void her concerns. If you can't convince her on why assisting is necessary, back off immediately.

Well Said. The husband tried to convince the wife of the need to assist but she wouldn't listen. Alleging a lot of things( you know women). Honestly no strings attached, just to assist since the Ex swallowed pride and called. The wife will do delivery of the items.

CHIMCO:
I will not like it. The Ex insisted that his husband will not mind. At times things can be critical in a family and one can try to survive like in her case. There is nothing wrong in given provided it does not go beyond that.

You still have feelings for her.

Mariangeles:


You still have feelings for her.

Lol . Not at all. Just to help. That was why the wife was informed.

CHIMCO:
Well Said. The husband tried to convince the wife of the need to assist but she wouldn't listen. Alleging a lot of things( you know women). Honestly no strings attached, just to assist since the Ex swallowed pride and called. The wife will do delivery of the items.

The wife will go deliver the items to the Ex, as who? It seems the husband has a huge appetite for trouble!

Wetin man no go see for nairaland ,,,tinz dey hapen oo

Mindlog:


The wife will go deliver the items to the Ex, as who? It seems the husband has a huge appetite for trouble!

No. They will go together but the wife will present the gift.

CHIMCO:
No. They will go together but the wife will present the gift.

Why wanting to force a wife to meet up with an Ex in the name of the man wanting to be a "good person"...Abort mission and let each marriage maintain their lane. If you as a man cannot imagine your wife "swallowing her pride" to go meet up her Ex and his wife to collect foodstuffs from them then why is it okay in the scenario?

If the man claims he has no feelings for the Ex, can he vouch with his life that his Ex has no feelings for him? Abi no be the human person we dey talk about!

Mindlog:


Why wanting to force a wife to meet up with an Ex in the name of the man wanting to be a "good person"...Abort mission and let each marriage maintain their lane. If you as a man cannot imagine your wife "swallowing her pride" to go meet up her Ex and his wife to collect foodstuffs from them then why is it okay in the scenario?

If the man claims he has no feelings for the Ex, can he vouch with his life that his Ex has no feelings for him? Abi no be the human person we dey talk about!

The man has moved on since and has no negative intention. If the Ex has which he cannot vouche for her but will still resist her if she tries any funny thing.

CHIMCO:
The man has moved on since and has no negative intention. If the Ex has which he cannot vouche for her but will still resist her if she tries any funny thing.

Resist, fire!

Is that woman have no family or friends?
There is no assist system from goverment for her?
Can't she have loan from bank?

Why that woman asked help for ex boyfriend who is already married?
Even if he is still single, very strange to me.
Please I really wanna learn and I really wanna understand well.

Anyway, help someone is good. Not bad things.