Ok, so here's the deal. Why is it that all my friends are getting married and having kids, and I can't even seem to find one Nigerian man to hook up with? Before you even say it, I'm not ugly. I don't mean to sound conceited or egotistical, I'm just saying that so we can get it out of the way. I'm looking for honest answers, and I'd rather not waste time on inconsequential rubbish like "maybe you're ugly". (don't roll your eyes, you know there's that 'one' person who'll post that answer)

Anyway, I'm 27, I live in the States now (I've lived here for 8 years), but I grew up in Lagos. I went to school up there and everything. Now why is it so hard to meet a freaking Nigerian man up here? One that has a sense of humor, speaks good English, and is not looking to get a 'green-card'? (I apologize if I'm offending anyone, I'm just a tad POed). Everytime I call my mom, I have to hear about some other friend of mine who has just tied the knot. She's constantly getting on me because my boyfriend now is white. (Ok, that fact is NOT open for discussion).

I mean, where are they? Where are the Nigerian men around here who are into the same things that I am? (reading, listening to music that isn't necessarily hip-hop related, watching regular shows on TV... living quietly)... where are these men (whom my mom says are in abundance over here)

All I'm asking is for ONE man out there... respectable, has a job, speaks good English, has a sense of humor, GROWN UP... If there's such a man, pray, identify yourself...

monie0078:


I mean, where are they? Where are the Nigerian men around here who are into the same things that I am? (reading, listening to music that isn't necessarily hip-hop related, watching regular shows on TV... living quietly)... where are these men (whom my mom says are in abundance over here)

All I'm asking is for ONE man out there... respectable, has a job, speaks good English, has a sense of humor, GROWN UP... If there's such a man, pray, identify yourself...

Girlie don't you think you are asking for too much!!!

@Monie

You Sound like my kind of chic, but i am in a relationship already. I might Holla @ u in a few years(Jking). I date Non-Nigerians and i think it is the way to go. Stick to your White Dude. Trust me it is" less stress" and "less drama".Any i wish you Happiness where ever you may end up.

Kokscity

LOL.. really? Truthfully, I don't. Why do you think that? I think it's only fair, right? To say that those qualities are too much to expect out of a Nigerian man doesn't say too much for our men. There's got to be SOMEONE out there... right?

@Pretty

Lolol. I think she is spelling out what she wants in a Naija man. How is that too much?There is no guarantee she will find him, but i think she is being str8 forward.She wants to cut out all the BS!

lol. Thanks koks... that's exactly what I was thinking as well.

@Monie

I think you are fine. Those qualities are not over the top, but i think ypou narrowed your pool of Nigerian men to choose from especially with the" Green Card,Good Job, and Grown Up Qualities".

Honestly i like been realistic. When u set too high a standard, all u get is disappointment at the end of it all. Remember no one can ever have all the characteristics we desire.


@ monie,
i'm shocked u've not hooked up wiv a brother yet. The green card wahala is not in the states alone o, it is very much prevalent in the uk as well.

@Monie

I think why you are having a hard time finding a man, is because you are all the way up in Rhode Island. Aint nothing happening up there.

Kokscity:



I think why you are having a hard time finding a man, is because you are all the way up in Rhode Island. Aint nothing happening up there.

probably sha but does it really matter

I agree with Kokscity. Location seems to be a big factor. I live in Houston and there never seems to be any shortage of Nigerians for a girl to get to know. RI isn't exactly full of black people, not to talk of Nigerians. But if you're already in a relationship and satisfied with your man, the whole argument is a moot point.

@Pretty

It matters! Her Pool of Nigerian men to draw from are so few up there. I think she would have it harder than someone in NY,MD or NC or even FL.Her Pool of "Good Men" Period are few and far apart in RI. I think you can improve your odds on the internet or maybe you might need to take more vacations to other places. But you have to do something that gets you out of RI. That is if you want to meet More Nigerian or African Men.

Kokscity

@Naijacutie

My Point Exactly!!

NB: U Look Nice in that Picture.

Ok here I am to identify myself then

Do yourself a big favour my getting married to your white boyfriend. It will save you a lot of stress later on. I think so! Anyway, I hope that you find the man you're looking for through this medium! But where is your picture?

Seun:

Do yourself a big favour my getting married to your white boyfriend. It will save you a lot of stress later on.

What exactly are you saying...that Nigerian men bring nothing but stress?

Seun hit the nail on head. marry your white man, abeg. it'll be hard to find your type even in nigeria.

@ monie more grease to your elbows i hope u fine ur man soon

I could just see ur face while making this post. It was as if you were directly talking to me.. as in right in front of me. lol

Anyways... don't let your mom be the one to decided the kinda men you go with. It's okay if you wanna do it white. Infact it'll be more easier for you that way. If you still need a Nigerian dude.. come to TExas.. they are overflowing like river niger. im telling u the truth oo. So many of them.

Anyways good luck.

stick with the white dude if u love him. but honestly don't u all think white pple give u more stress than nigerians? i mean my girlfriend is white but i think dating her has taken more out of me than dating other nigerian girls, they are soooooo unbendable!!!!!!!! grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Same thing here too in upstate newyork. i haven't seen a single nigerian not to talk of a girl in 8 months!!!!!!!!!!

haba!!!!!!!

Seriously, why don't you think of coming back home, and seeing if you can get someone here? I have a friend who did it that way and she's happily "hooked" now. But you still have to be very careful though. Some nigerians here are no less determined to get a green card that the ones you were talking about. Wish you luck.

I cant belive people are sayin nigerian men bring problem advisin her to marry a white person, well i can understand they yankee mentality of marrying a white person 'cos u get well rewarded after the very predictable divorce, there so much hassle in marryin someone from another culture or race its seems people just dont wanna dig into controversies


What happened to those people that are happily married to nigerian men in the USA are u sayin they all have problems, if u force urselve to marry just because ur friends are gettin married ur more likely to have problems. Dont Rush urself...

Have u tried neighbouring states or u just want a naija from RHose Island??



"One thats speaks good english..." <<<< na wa o

Loverbwoy

U would be shocked at the number of Nigerians married to other races and cultures. Many times the Nigerian has more to lose than even the Oyibo man or woman. Please wake up and smell the coffee bro. It is 06 people marry who they want, regardless of race,culture or ethnic background. I think if she likes the white dude, she should settle down with him.It is probably less drama than marrying a Nigerian man in Yankee.

@Monie
I suggest you keep your standards and follow your mind. I am strong believer in destiny. Whatever is meant to be will be. There will be Naysayers, just make sure you come out on the other side with your sanity intact.

Monie, through all the advice everyone is giving you, I hope you follow your heart and do what feels right as opposed to what society or your family dictates. Your sanity and happiness take priority over everything!!

goodluck

Hey Monie, sorry for your problem......first i just want to say if your happy with your oyinbo then stay with him and forget about the nigerian men. but if you don't love him then why waste his time ? Anyways, for everybody that claims there are no nigerians in rhode island.... i just wanted to tell you that there is plenty of them.... but most of them have.....issues.... all you have to do the go to is go to one of them church anniversaries that them churchs have ..... and trust me you will be able to meet some... or just go to nigerian parties.... you will meet them.... ok .... but you know how oyinbo will se be we re when you break there hearts so just be careful.....

I'd say lets SEE YOUR PICTURE!!!

Now why is it so hard to meet a freaking Nigerian man up here? One that has a sense of humor, speaks good English, and is not looking to get a 'green-card'?

Because you're in the wrong country? Geez, this should've been very easy to figure out...

Everytime I call my mom, I have to hear about some other friend of mine who has just tied the knot. She's constantly getting on me because my boyfriend now is white. (Ok, that fact is NOT open for discussion).

Well, the fact that this fact is NOT open for discussion sucks! I would so love to elaborate on this...

Anyway, good luck with your search.

Hi Girlie you sound like you are for me.
But the only thing is, i don't wish to stay outside Nigeria.That's the snag.Except you will come back and stay here wish i know you won't.
So keep searching, i wish you luck.

ok ok ok enough of of this people,why do u ppl think white men are better off than their nigerian counterparts? i think that is rubbish,men round the world break do break many a woman's heart so Nigerian men r not unique.My advice to u is to relocate to where u can meet a Nigerian guy or come back to nigeria and meet a good man.I believe it is better u get married to a Nigerian where ur roots can be preserved not marrying a white knowing that ur leg wont step into Nigeria as u want.