Greeting to everyone

I would first like to apologize for posting this in this section, I honestly need good and Godly advice though I know I have not been Godly but am willing to change.

I am a young energetic guy, I would be 26yrs this year I have learnt 3 different skill and have a few I added on my own. I am currently in a relationship that has lasted about 4 years now ( you that feeling at 21 where you feel all your dreams will just come through and you will just get married) I am not lazy at that time I started dating I felt my life was on course and would need to settle down at 25 people had promised me things and life itself had me seeing all green pastures.

I am currently dating a girl and we both learnt the same trade tailoring am a graduated 2019 and served. Now after service we have been living on our income as we work together and do most on our things together.

Now late last year another guy approached her and she told me she said no and he went straight to ask for her hand in marriage which she declined but the guy mounted pressure on her siblings and her pastor and in turn the gave in and asked her to consider the guy......Now January this year the met at in a church and started talking,dating and even went as far as introducing him to her parents and he made his intentions known. I notice the drifting in our relationship so I asked a few questions and she confessed to me a lot of things even to the point of which the had visited him at his place and many other things and that she loves him..... As a guy I put in a fight to redeem my relationship as she complained that I was to harsh on her and stuffs of which I am guilty of because of the current economic situations of things but I have never dated another and she knows that. I took her to see a man of God and this where said and she was asked to pray and decide who is it going to be and at the two weeks back she said it was me, so I took my parents officially to ask for her had in marriage and the parents accepted with grudges.

Her mom said she was not going to get married to any other except their tribe they are from Edo state because of her experience with her first child husband which happens to be my tribe ( Yoruba) and so she feels her daughter was going to experience the same this with me.The daughter know i am different as I have been the one feeding her breakfast,lunch and sometimes dinner in the past four years I transport her to my shop to and fro which cost about 1k everyday including feeding, I also give her pocket money and attend to her needs all these years.


The economy is taking its toll on me and am looking for a job anywhere around this country to be able to provide for me,her, my family and hers and leave her to continue with tailoring.

but these few days she has changed though we still together but I know she is tired from pressure and she is confused.

what do I do....please advise me....she wants out and wants me to stay what do I do please advice ....someone should help with a job.

The tailoring field gas become quiet tricky as I lack funds to put this to standard and its affecting our efficiency.

I studied electrical electronics engineering technology from a polytechnic and have practical knowledge on electrical installations and maintenance. God bless you.

I notice the drifting in our relationship so I asked a few questions and she confessed to me a lot of things even to the point of which the had visited him at his place and many other things and that she loves him..... As a guy, I put in a fight to redeem my relationship as she complained that I was too harsh on her and stuffs of which I am guilty of because of the current economic situations of things but I have never dated another and she knows that.

You are very easygoing.

If it were me, from that first comment, I let everything slide. It is common for a woman to leave you for another guy who can better foot her needs with a promising life in view; most of the ladies alive value money to love.

I took her to see a man of God and this where said and she was asked to pray and decide who is it going to be and at the two weeks back she said it was me, so I took my parents officially to ask for her had in marriage and the parents accepted with grudges.

Accepted with grudges?

Her mom said she was not going to get married to any other except their tribe they are from Edo state because of her experience with her first child husband which happens to be my tribe ( Yoruba) and so she feels her daughter was going to experience the same this with me.

Is it the tribe that's the problem or her meeting the wrong people?

She has already married before, and has a child too!

Are you ready to father her child like yours?


Are you ready for this married life or are you just interested in winning her over the other rich guy?


Are you ready to be in a relationship with a girl who becomes indecisive about who she loves when she sees a better person?


With due respect, if you are truly not ready for marriage, leave her be.

She yearns to leave you without hurting you, not because she doesn't love you but because it is not a time in her life to talk about love but her future.


Marriage is not about winning persons so others wouldn't stand a chance to get them. Marriage is all about being physically, mentally, spiritually, and financially ready.

It is not your fault things haven't gotten any better.


With time and a positive outlook of things, and in years to come, you'll appreciate you didn't plunge into marriage.

As hard as this may sound to you,let her go.When many women get to this stage(marriageable age),the first choice is usually the one that is financially stable.

You could keep trying to draw her to your side but it's obvious she is drifting.
As the saying goes,if you love someone,set her free.If she comes back she's yours,if she doesn't,then she never was.

chatinent:

You are very easygoing.

If it were me, from that first comment, I let everything slide. It is common for a woman to leave you for another guy who can better foot her needs with a promising life in view; most of the ladies alive value money to love.




Accepted with grudges?


Is it the tribe that's the problem or her meeting the wrong people?

She has already married before, and has a child too!

Are you ready to father her child like yours?


Are you ready for this married life or are you just interested in winning her over the other rich guy?


Are you ready to be in a relationship with a girl who becomes indecisive about who she loves when she sees a better person?


With due respect, if you are truly not ready for marriage, leave her be.

She yearns to leave you without hurting you, not because she doesn't love you but because it is not a time in her life to talk about love but her future.


Marriage is not about winning persons so others wouldn't stand a chance to get them. Marriage is all about being physically, mentally, spiritually, and financially ready.

It is not your fault things haven't gotten any better.


With time and a positive outlook of things, and in years to come, you'll appreciate you didn't plunge into marriage.

i appreciate you but the problem is that the other guy claims to be what he is not I had to dig a bit about him and he is just starting his life too though he has a job a regular one with mtn where he dose customer care ...... he is in a complicated relationship and used his stories to win her emotionally while his acclaimed ex still pays him visits with her mum.

Kcxee:

i appreciate you but the problem is that the other guy claims to be what he is not I had to dig a bit about him and he is just starting his life too though he has a job a regular one with mtn where he dose customer care ...... he is in a complicated relationship and used his stories to win her emotionally while his acclaimed ex still pays him visits with her mum.

In reality check, the problem is not the deceiver but the deceived.

I am more concerned about you.

I am more concerned about you making the right decisions you wouldn't regret.

I will advice you like a friend so you need to brave up man.

Yes your girl is confused and she seems not to have interest in you again. The relationship is now looking as if a pity kinda type. The moment she started feeling she's doing you a favour by staying and choosing you over the other guy then you may end up having a really disturbing issue later if you rush to marriage.

I personally feel this relationship is caging you. I believe you can do better without having to shoulder another man's daughter responsibilities at this stage . we all had dreams of getting married and living a better life before 30 but when the reality changed the story b. only few people were lucky to achieve that dream .
Nobi everybody go marry at a young age oo.

Just calm yourself bro. Don't rush .
Focus on how to better your fashion craft.
Let her go if her mind isn't with you anymore.
She's even loyal to have open up to an extent.
Her family is another demon to deal with even if you force her to marriage. Dem say dem no want make she marry you as a yoruba man.. then I don't know what else you still want her for then.

Kcxee:

i appreciate you but the problem is that the other guy claims to be what he is not I had to dig a bit about him and he is just starting his life too though he has a job a regular one with mtn where he dose customer care ...... he is in a complicated relationship and used his stories to win her emotionally while his acclaimed ex still pays him visits with her mum.

Mheen!! You get time ooooo! C'mon, let go of the lady and fix your life. Your priority isn't woman now. Fixing your life for the best is your priority.

fix your life first...she is not your responsibility[img]

I really appreciate all the comments made and am seriously finding relief from your words ...... I told her today I am letting go but she is refusing to say yes or not to it.....she is asking me to give her more time that she is still mine ..... but for me I really found peace pouring this out because I could not talk to friends cos the will mock because I really made this girl center of my thinking the last four years we grew from 2 sewing machines to 8 together so I felt I found it all but no life had it twist and turns.... someone should help me find a job outside bauchi so I can get away and restart I know its not too late.....

thank you all for your concerns.

Your internship has ended.

If she decides to wait for you till you are ready, how many years would she have to wait? How can she be sure you will not disappoint her at the end? Don't call off the relationship, that's my advice. If it must end, let her be the one to end it. Her marriage to the other man may not become a reality.

let her go and you will never regret it. don't ever let a woman pitch you in a frame where you feel you in a competition to have her. it's a relationship...

No hard feelings,guy you daft.You barely can't afford to take care of urself,you dey take care of woman expenses like her papa,resources you could have used to better your business or invest more in one of your skills,you dey waste am ontop woman.Worst part be say you wan rush marry her because of that other guy.If you marry that babe,she go dey curse and insult you at any slight issue,no be swear,na reality.Let her go,so you can focus on building yourself first.