As in eh. I am tired.

Like, just tired and frustrated. I should warn you, there is no cohesive topic to be discussed in this piece. This is nothing more than a rant. Why are we like this in this country? I am not one who believes that one good turn deserves another. If you want to do good, do it because it is the right thing to do. Not because you expect something in return. But I believe in any position we find ourselves, we should always strive to do the right thing. It is very easy for us to sit in our different homes, on the bus on our way to work, in our offices, arguing about how the politicians have ruined this country and how they are mortgaging our future. But the fact of the matter remains that If we do not change our attitude and start acting like better human beings, treating people with respect, dignity, and love from the kindness of our hearts, we would get nowhere. It’s just so sad at times when you realize what we can achieve as a country if we stop thinking of what we can do for ourselves and what we can do for others. Like for once in your life, put the needs of others above yours. It won’t kill you to just do the right thing for once.

Some people reading this would already be like “oga calm down. What did they do to you that has not being done before”? And this kind of thinking is one of the contributing factors to the malaise affecting this country. When we feel like “well. E don dey happen” or the most annoying one “na normal”. What do you mean by “na normal”? Are you people normal like this? Stealing from your organization and robbing your employer na normal? Office hours where you are being paid on the clock. You are using it for personal business and you are saying na normal? Seeing your neighbor’s kids engaging in unhealthy activities and instead of doing something, you turn a blind eye with the “e no concern me. Na my child?” philosophy. Don’t worry you hear? Karma is coming for all of you. I love what the present government is doing to us. Una never see anything. Since every man is thinking of always outsmarting and defrauding his neighbor at every turn, then we have no right to castigate those in power for giving us a taste of our own medicine.

Now, to the main issue that warranted this shedding of tears. I was picked up by an Uber on Saturday. Nice guy, or so I thought. We had a long convo on the travails of being an Uber driver in Lagos. The amount of insult and disrespect you have to face left, right, center? Even from those whose net salary is nothing compared to what you pull in in 2 weeks. But because we are a judgmental set of people who like to look down on individuals in the blue-collar industry, we would continue to deceive ourselves. Acting all high and mighty, thinking we are better off than the so-called drivers. Or is it those girls that go by that degrading (empowering for the feminists) Yoruba word that starts with o and ends with o? In short, he confessed to me that those girls are the ones keeping the industry moving. Once you can get a few of those ladies to have your number on speed dial, you don hammer be that. Anyway, before I digress further, it was a great ride and the insightful conversation with the man opened up my eyes to see the ride-hailing industry from a fresh perspective. Now, I am not alaroror. I understand how important ratings are in a gig economy. I’d rather not rate you at all if the ride was not pleasant than to give you a bad rating that would affect your chances of getting more riders. I also have a principle that if you tell me to rate you 5 stars, I am not doing that. That statement right there is another symptom of one of the numerous diseases plaguing the average Nigerian, which is our entitlement mentality. As in, I don’t understand. You offered a service; you are still telling me how well I should rate you for the service. Whether I like it, whether there were some things I felt you could improve on? All those are none of your business. Your own na just “oga before you comot, give me my 5 stars abeg”. Some would even hold you hostage, insisting that you give them a 5-star rating before you alight from their vehicle. On top of my money again? You then wonder “which kind market I don buy like this”.

After I got to my junction. I rated him, paid via transfer, and got down from his car. (Might I add, his car was the cleanest ride hailing car I had been in which left a lasting impression on me. Made me know he took his business seriously). Now, as I was about to board a bus to my last destination, I checked my phone only to realize that the transfer I made had been reversed and he had already called twice. Now, for a Nigerian still working with his default configuration, seeing that reversed transaction would have been classified as an act of God. The “ope oooo” that would reflect from the wide grin on their faces as they see that reversal message would put them in a good mood for the rest of the week. “The gods have favored me”, “this is a sign from the heavenlies”. “This is the will of God”. God has really suffered in the hands of Nigerians. I never gave it a second thought. I called him and told him I saw the reversal and I’ll resend the money when I got home later that day. Now. I am not trying to paint myself as a saint. But is it so hard to think when someone renders a service, they should be paid for that service? Whether the service was up to standard or met your expectations is a different conversation, but they should remunerated one for their job and nothing less. I got home later that day and sent the money. Now, this is where the drama starts. I never really noticed, but it turns out I forgot my Bluetooth earbuds in the car, which is an essential accessory for me. I would commend him for having the decency of calling me first to inform me of the misplaced item. Now the first time I called him on how we can go about retrieving the item, I suggested that I’ll intercept him somewhere in lekki. But if you’ve stayed in Lagos, you can testify how that state can embarrass you and throw a wrench in the works of your plans in minutes. In summary, that meeting never materialized.

Being busy with work did not even allow me to call him over the next few days. When I eventually remembered on a Wednesday afternoon, I called him to see how I could recover my buds back as I was feeling their noticeable absence. I called him and the following conversation ensued.

Me: bros, na so you wan carry my earpiece go?.........
https://revoluth./2020/09/30/no-country-for-dull-men/

Tanos:

Uberman: oga where you dey, I dey lekki. shey you fit come pick am up for here?

Me: bros I dey work, make we find solution wey pay us both. You fit drop am for Taxify office for the island?

Uberman: Them no dey open jare.

Me: ok I need am now and you dey far, plus traffic dey road. find all these dispatch riders drop am for am make them come give me for ikoyi.

Uberman: bros, those guys no dey jare.

Me: help me find them, I go pay the money.

Oga: I go call you back

After a few minutes:

Uberman: my oga(now, a lesson for those who are not familiar with some of these slangs regarding that opening phrase

Level 1 = “bros”:

The person offering a service has seen you are on equal footing with him and is likely not going to request for something for the boys

Level 2 = “oga”:

The next step signifying an intention to nudge you into the direction to drop something. It is meant to boost your personal ego and make you feel like a VIP

Level 3: “my oga”:

IT IS A TRAP! I REPEAT; IT IS A TRAP!! You are about to be a victim of a sophisticated form of extortion, carried out stylishly and systematically by the service provider.

The moment he switched to “my oga”, I knew I was done for.

Uberman : my oga, you know what, surge dey now but I fit come drop am for you for 2000.

Me: ah! 2k? How much I buy the earpiece? Shoo! No lele. I go hala you later.

I dropped the call and shook my head, partly in disgust, partly in anger.

Why are we like this? Why do we see every little opportunity as a chance to skim people of their hard-earned cash? Later, when this country continues to stagnate, we keep on blaming the government. The brief exchange above is nothing but a microcosm of this country. Everyman (fallacy of hasty generalization, I know, still not going to change it) is going to use every means available to separate you from your money. I was wondering, I should have probably let my Nigerian default configuration come into play the day he picked me when the transfer was reversed. Attribute the reversal as blessings from the lord most high and move on with my life. But no. My faith won’t permit me, and that is not even who I am as a person. I was really hoping that this guy would differ from most people you encounter daily. I really did hope that he’d understand that this was an opportunity to show that there are still a few good men. At last, it was not to be. Yes, I know that I am being overdramatic but e pain me I no go lie. You have not felt pain until you’ve misplaced a quality earpiece. This is the daily travails of someone who refuses to conform to the measly standards set by people with no moral compass. Their Inability to live a principled life has manifested fully in their shallow thinking and herd mentality. These are the situations we find ourselves in daily, where to avoid confrontation, you just turn the other cheek and be the bigger person. But I will not deny that my faith in our people is fading away. May God, Nah, May WE realize that we are the only one that can help ourselves.

Happy independence day.
https://revoluth./2020/09/30/no-country-for-dull-men/

Nice write up.

I had to complete it myself "for the culture'