Afternoon Jokes

1. Armpit you haven’t shaved for 3 months,you carry Holy Bible put there�lDo u want to suffocate the children of Israel?

2. But why will they arrest BOBRISKY?? What offense did HE.. Sorry what offense did SHE.. Oya sorry what offense did IT.. Mtchewww this confusion is enough reason for arrest

3. If cheating can generate electricity, Anambra men alone can power the whole Nigeria & 5 other neighboring countries.


4. Girls will put on seat belt and their breast will be like
Don't touch me am not feeling fine


5. On my weeding day wen the pastor will say u may now kiss your Bride my brother is Better for you to carry your Bag and go because you are going to watch live porn

6. Some girls be answering Rose but looking at them, they look like weed

7. Hustle oo make dem no use fufu gum ur wedding poster

8. Please at my funeral,
Nobody should come and look at me in my coffin, me that is shy, i weeh just laugh....

9. My junior student in secondary school who I used to flog and beat up for no reason recently joined the Nigerian Army
*
He posted a picture wearing full Army uniform and carrying a gun
But I’m afraid cos he tagged only me


11. We are fighting nd u are holding my neck, u want to kill me?

12. It’s only in Nigeria movie you see a dead body brought out of coffin sweating....

13. I was shocked when i called my friend, Mtn was like,,dear customer the person u are trying to call is owing us 500 airtime so if he answers pliz help us to convince him to pay back the loan..i immediately fainted

1. Immarh returns a missing purse to the owner in a market. The lady was so grateful but when she looked inside the purse, she got confused and said, "but I had just a single note of N1000 but, now there are ten notes of N100, how come?" Immarh said "na me change am, because the last time I help person find purse she say she for give me something but change no dey! So I changed it"


2. Immarh: Would you like to be the sun of my life?
Chichi: Awwww...Yes!
Immarh: Then stay 9,995,887.6 miles away from me!
Chichi: ��

3. In Sokoto, a man named Dalhatu bashiru was arrested on a charge that he stole a neighbor's cow.
His attorney maintained that he was innocent and filed that the case be dismissed through lack of evidence. The judge agreed and the case was dismissed.
Bashiru then thanked the judge and asked, "But do I have to give back the cow?"


4. KID: Teacher can I go to the bathroom?
TEACHER: You have to say your ABC's first.
KID: Ok; a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,q,r,s,t,u, v,w.x.y, and z.
TEACHER: Where's the p?
KID: It's running down my leg!


5. Immarh spent the night with his mistress and comes back in the morning.
WIFE: Where have you been? Where did you sleep?
Immarh: At Johnny's place, he lost his sister.
WIFE: OK...you can eat your food, I'm going to the bathroom.
[After bathing]
WIFE: I'm going out...
Immarh: Where are you going to?
WIFE: To Johnny's, need to check how they are doing.
Immarh: Honey, they called the time you were bathing and told me she rose from the dead!


6. When a military man dies, we will shoot all night.
When a christian dies, we will pray all night.
What if a prostitute dies what will happen all night?

7. A preacher was giving his sermon one Sunday morning when a note was passed to him. The only word written on it was "IDIOT"
Looking up at the Congregation the Preacher smiled and said, "I've heard of men who write letters and forget to sign their names, but this is the first time I've seen someone sign his name and forget to write the letter."

Dannyboi976:

1. Immarh returns a missing purse to the owner in a market. The lady was so grateful but when she looked inside the purse, she got confused and said, "but I had just a single note of N1000 but, now there are ten notes of N100, how come?" Immarh said "na me change am, because the last time I help person find purse she say she for give me something but change no dey! So I changed it"


2. Immarh: Would you like to be the sun of my life?
Chichi: Awwww...Yes!
Immarh: Then stay 9,995,887.6 miles away from me!
Chichi: ��

3. In Sokoto, a man named Dalhatu bashiru was arrested on a charge that he stole a neighbor's cow.
His attorney maintained that he was innocent and filed that the case be dismissed through lack of evidence. The judge agreed and the case was dismissed.
Bashiru then thanked the judge and asked, "But do I have to give back the cow?"


4. KID: Teacher can I go to the bathroom?
TEACHER: You have to say your ABC's first.
KID: Ok; a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,q,r,s,t,u, v,w.x.y, and z.
TEACHER: Where's the p?
KID: It's running down my leg!


5. Immarh spent the night with his mistress and comes back in the morning.
WIFE: Where have you been? Where did you sleep?
Immarh: At Johnny's place, he lost his sister.
WIFE: OK...you can eat your food, I'm going to the bathroom.
[After bathing]
WIFE: I'm going out...
Immarh: Where are you going to?
WIFE: To Johnny's, need to check how they are doing.
Immarh: Honey, they called the time you were bathing and told me she rose from the dead!


6. When a military man dies, we will shoot all night.
When a christian dies, we will pray all night.
What if a prostitute dies what will happen all night?

7. A preacher was giving his sermon one Sunday morning when a note was passed to him. The only word written on it was "IDIOT"
Looking up at the Congregation the Preacher smiled and said, "I've heard of men who write letters and forget to sign their names, but this is the first time I've seen someone sign his name and forget to write the letter."

Mehnnnnn u follow abeg