I Need Honest Advise-How Do I Choose Between Two Lovers For Marriage?

I have been a little afraid to share my story because of the backlash I know I might get from this platform. But I do know that I will get great perspective from the reactions so even though I am a bit scared, I want to plead with everyone to please take it easy on me.

My name is Frank (not real name). I am 35 years old. I was married from 2010 to 2015. My marriage broke up because my wife could not wait for God’s time for our children. So, yes, when we got married, we started trying to have a baby and it was not forth coming. We tried several tests until it was revealed that my wife has ovarian cyst which was preventing her from taking in.

As a supportive husband, I tried to stand by her but she became very depressed soon as she got that news. Next thing, she revealed that her grandmother who is a prophetess actually revealed that I was not the one for her but she and her mother insisted on marrying me cos she did not believe the prophecy. According to her, if she married me, she would never find fulfillment.

So, even though, our inability to have a baby was not my fault, her grandmother’s prophecy was hanging over her head as a cloud. We quarreled alot. Sometimes, my folks were a bit worried too that we had no child yet but I didn’t tell them my wife was the one with the issue.

To be honest, I loved my wife so much, I was willing to adopt a child but she blatantly refused. And then, trouble started when she accused me of flirting other women just cos she was feeling insecure about her condition. I tried to put her mind at ease but it didn’t work. I got tired of fighting her and asked her what she wanted from me.

To my surprise, she said she wanted a divorce. I told her never. But she went ahead and filed a divorce. It took two years to finalize the divorce because I prayed and did everything in my power to try to change her mind. It was a bitter divorce. I felt pained and betrayed. I loved that woman with every inch of me.

Since then, I have been skeptical about getting married again. I started to date around 2017. It didnt work out until I met someone in 2019. She is nice and very eager for marriage but I wanted to be sure this would work. Along the line, in 2021, I also met someone else and I became very confused because I was in love as well.

Yes, I know this is where the backlash would come. Yes, I am in love with two women. I told myself, I need to make a choice but both women are amazing. So, I told myself, the first them to get pregnant for me would be my choice for marriage. I didn’t tell either of them although I suspected my second girlfriend knew I had someone else but she is not the nosey type so she does not bug me.

As things would pan out, my second girlfriend got pregnant and I was ecstatic. I proposed to her and I thought I had found my true one love. But as I tried to break up with the first lady, my heart could not take it. I finally realized that I wanted the first lady more than the second. So, I told my second girl that I made a mistake and I was in love with the first lady.

This broke her and she cried so much. I told her I wanted to have a baby with her though and she said she was not going to keep the baby if I was not going to make her a wife. And she threatened to remove the baby. I told her to give me time to think about it. And she gave me till the end of the month to decide if I wanted to marry her or the first woman.

If I do not choose her at the end of the month, she would abort the pregnancy. A baby that I wanted for so long. Yet, if I chose her…my heart will always be with the first lady. And so, I am confused and need advise on what to do. Of course, my family wants me to choose the pregnant one but the one that is not pregnant is nicer, kinder, prettier, and more mature and understanding partner.

So, I told the first lady what happened with the second lady. She said she would get pregnant if I wanted her to because she loves me and she will be happy to accept the other woman’s child as her own. You see how understanding she is!…I just pray she does not change like my first wife did cos women react to infertility in different ways. I don’t know.

So, I told the second lady that I cannot marry her but she should give me the baby to raise. She told me no and that I have until month end, else she will have an abortion.

So now, how do I convince her not have the abortion and give me the baby? Can I use police or sue her to court if she refuses to have the baby? I really love this baby she is carrying already but should I sacrifice my true love for this baby? If I do not marry her, she will abort this child and I may not be able to live with the fact that I made her to abort my baby…

Which of the two women should I stay with if you were in my shoes? I do not want a repeat of what happened in my first marriage too. I am so afraid of making a mistake the second time. I am a very emotional person. I feel so lost right now.

I crave your indulgence, don’t insult me…please advise me, honest answers please.. Thank you.

SOURCE : https://livelystones.ng/2021/06/16/i-need-honest-advise-how-do-i-choose-between-two-lovers-for-marriage/

Ok

i don't want to believe this

Read 1/3 of the story until it stopped making sense. Why wouldn't she have the ovarian cyst removed? Most women have ovarian cysts at some point in their lives. Most of them disappear on their own.

Dear brother, be very careful!
At 35 you should know what you want as a man in a woman. A lot of your type still run after a woman been pretty (BIG SCAM).
Check your heart very well, who among the two will you give all you have to ensure you keep her?
Observe both of them also, who did you find to give all she has just to ensure she keeps you?

When women are desperate or in need of marriage you will think God has sent you an angel but with time you will know how the devil works.
Listen to their utterances it won't take you time to know who to keep. Women leave a lot of clue for you to be able to know what or who they will be as the future draws near.
Get a plate of their favourite food with quite enough protein of their choice (Meat or Fish) or something, eat with them on seperate occassion and try to be nasty a bit if you did not observe anything then you are not smart.
That she is pregnant now does not gaurantee you will have the baby eventually (God forbid i am not praying for anything bad) So if you know you don't love her then don't destroy her life, i beg you very seriously. You want her to give you a child while you go after marrying your NIcer, prettier and kinder woman, well, that is why they say women have fish brain.
You have been begging God for a serious request now that God has answered you, material and worthless distraction want to steal your joy away.
If you are doom to fail nothing we say here will stop you from failing.
I will never be in your shoe! Thanks bro

You mean you are cheating on them both?

I wanted to be surprised but I just refused and dusted it off.
After all,if educated people can elect Buhari an illiterate old bigot...why should I be surprised when even some people are selling their kidneys just to buy an iPhone.

My brother,I can assure u that u are digging ur grave with ur hand.
Be careful how u treat women,else u might go in for it. U have just impregnated her,why not marry her for heaven sake? First of all,u said if any of them get pregnant for u,u will marry her,now u have suddenly realised the one who is yet to take in is fit for u. Why didn't u date one lady at a time,now u are gradually digging out a problem and using them for experiment.

My advice:
Go and marry that lady and secondly,go and marry that lady to avoid her committing murder. God will judge u both.