Good morning, this is so disheartening. How my later father's benefits was squandered within 7 months.. I am the third child but first son, the first two are women and three men. My late father benefits was process by my two younger brothers as my mum requested and I obliged inorder not to cause wahala in d family.. Am married with two children, Own a business of mine, while my two younger brothers are jobless the last one is 33 years and a graduate who we handed the task of processing d money. We all have @ least national diploma. The money came out early January 2021. I told Dem we need to invest this money and keep some incase to buy offer for my brother.. with out my consent they rush and bought a house, my father already build a house in the village. I say no problem is still ok 3million for house.due to covid 19 my business suffer a set back, I kept demanding for money from my youngest brother to settle some debt instead of giving me the money at once, he refuse...I wanted d money in bulk so dat I can used it to support my bizness..I never knew how it accumulated to #700,000 according to my brother that I collected.. I say no wahala.. two months ago I collected #600,000 to buy a car and resale then to return d capital back to him .. to my surprise when I asked him of d balance of wat is left d money is finished. I ask wat he use d money for.. he said I consume d highest amount #700,000 while d money was use to settle family problems that he have d record of every expenses made including the one my two elders sisters collected from him..I told him problem no dey finished..no investment nothing just like dat. d last #600,000 in my possession I decided I will not give it to him, I gotten a shop already which I will eqiup and open for him to run nairabet cos I have agency with nairabet..but he is insisting that I shod give him d money..and my two elders sisters and my mum are supporting him cos they manipulate him easily..I have vow not to release d money to them .I will use it to open a bizness for him .the last time I saw his balance two months ago was 500,000. with in two months they finished 500,000..if I release the remaining the one with me to them they will finish it and the family problem will come back to me as usual..the problem is they see me as a failure but am taking good care of my family and non of them is better than me..Non of them spend a dime during my dad burial even my sister husband's if not for my uncle's that supported and I did my best but they are all against me not to handle the money, because I don't believe in wasting money..they find me rigid, I only release money when it is necessary am not a saint too. Now they want me to realeas the remaining one to them.. we still have two landed properties if am two release d money to dem I will collect d documents of one of d landed properties and free them.. these people are driven me crazy.. now I have palpitations due to stress.. thinking of how they will survive if this last money is not properly invested.. my mum and the rest are the same, am the only one different and trying to tell them how to use this money without giving it to me..I remember telling my mum am afraid this money will finish and they might end up selling d house which dey bought she ignore and it is about happening now..

God should bless all of us financially and materially to a point that even your siblings sell your father's house, you wouldn't be moved because you have your own job and not lazy. Some families go spiritual because of this, killing themselves because of father's properties. What if your father didn't laboured for all these, what will you guys be fighting for No unity! No oneness!!


I'm just speechless!!!! I'm the first child of my family, followed by a male, he doesn't know ( he is not even interested to know) where my father's other properties are. If I should be fully in charged as the first child, I would have be more financially okay that this but I'm not interested, if I become great tommorow, I'll have more than his. My father is afraid what if he died, we don't bother to help him or interested in helping him supervise them because we are afraid of his relatives and juju

Brother they bought a house from 7milllion.

House 3 million.

U collected 700k

U guys are 5.

Let us assume 700k * 5 of u = 3.5 Million

500k for Ur mum.

That is 7million.

Go and sleep and stop that "u re first son" u emphasized.

There is no money on ground again and nothing was squandered.

Go and work hard for Ur own money, from the 3 million house u still av portion in it eventually.

God will bless you greatly and u won't remember whatever the balance that is remaining.


I dnt see any squander here bro !

AntiWailer:
Brother they bought a house from 7milllion.

yes.. 3million

Wahala wear number 11 jersey

tillaman:
Wahala wear number 11 jersey

the thing tire me.. now Dem want make I give them the last #600,000

As the first son you should have handled the processing of the money and sharing yourself

this is serious ooo which kind family is this? No savings

tillaman:
Wahala wear number 11 jersey

Him still con short like messi...

thesicilian:
As the first son you should have handled the processing of the money and sharing yourself

they refused, so I decided to leave the money in their possession.. according to plan that we will use it to build a bizness

In all honesty most time one would wish he or she doesn't comes out of a certain group of person's called family.

Some family can be very frustrating that one would wish to just vanish and leave them alone

Op,if I were you I would hand over the money to them,then collect the landed documents and cut them off for life.

[quote author=AntiWailer post=104304657]Brother they bought a house from 7milllion.

House 3 million.

U collected 700k

U guys are 5.

Let us assume 700k * 5 of u = 3.5 Million

500k for Ur mum.

That is 7million.

Go and sleep and stop that "u re first son" u emphasized.

There is no money on ground again and nothing was squandered.

Go and work hard for Ur own money, from the 3 million house u still av portion in it eventually.

God will bless you greatly and u won't remember whatever the balance that is remaining.


I dnt see any squander here bro ! [/quote

They said the money is not to be shared according to them, we will joint force to invest it.. and read well am a business man already.. the issue if d money finishes they will return to me as usual. And women do not partake in father's inheritance as 4 our culture.. we already gave some amount then..

psalmistkakah:
they refused, so I decided to leave the money in their possession.. according to plan that we will use it to build a bizness

That means they generally do not listen to you because you have not been able to impose your authority as the first son. In that case my advise would be for you to give them the remaining money they're demanding for (you can't force an adult to run a business he's not interested in) and continue to live your own quiet life as you've always done.

ahnie:
In all honesty most time one would wish he or she doesn't comes out of a certain group of person's called family.

Some family can be very frustrating that one would wish to just vanish and leave them alone

Op,if I were you I would hand over the money to them,then collect the landed documents and cut them off for life.

Thanks

AntiWailer:
Brother they bought a house from 7milllion.

House 3 million.

U collected 700k

U guys are 5.

Let us assume 700k * 5 of u = 3.5 Million

500k for Ur mum.

That is 7million.

Go and sleep and stop that "u re first son" u emphasized.

There is no money on ground again and nothing was squandered.

Go and work hard for Ur own money, from the 3 million house u still av portion in it eventually.

God will bless you greatly and u won't remember whatever the balance that is remaining.


I dnt see any squander here bro !

0

If we are to go by your analysis, they are now demanding for his own share to be shared again.
Isnt it better he invests it so as to set up his jobless brothers instead of sharing it. Those family problems are what exactly? If they squander this last cash they'll come back to him as a first son and then what's his fate?

Learn to be objective sometimes.

thesicilian:

That means they generally do not listen to you because you have not been able to impose your authority as the first son. In that case my advise would be for you to give them the remaining money they're demanding for (you can't force an adult to run a business he's not interested in) and continue to live your own quiet life as you've always done.

I know my family too well.. they will still come to me even after helping them they will still have done nothing..

LadySarah:
0

If we are to go by your analysis, they are now demanding for his own share to be shared again.
Isnt it better he invests it so as to set up his jobless brothers instead of sharing it. Those family problems are what exactly? If they squander this last cash they'll come back to him as a first son and then what's his fate?

Learn to be objective sometimes.

correct

thesicilian:

That means they generally do not listen to you because you have not been able to impose your authority as the first son. In that case my advise would be for you to give them the remaining money they're demanding for (you can't force an adult to run a business he's not interested in) and continue to live your own quiet life as you've always done.

Lol its easy to say but in reality not so easy. My husband is the 3rd child but first son out of 9 and you don't want to imagine how burdensome it is. You set up, squander and run back to you again. If he resists, mother will play her I breastfed you card.
You keep running in circles just so that adults can get off your back.

Dear Op, good luck to you.

I

aanuoluwami14:
this is serious ooo which kind family is this? No savings

within two months #500000.. finish

LadySarah:
0

If we are to go by your analysis, they are now demanding for his own share to be shared again.
Isnt it better he invests it so as to set up his jobless brothers instead of sharing it. Those family problems are what exactly? If they squander this last cash they'll come back to him as a first son and then what's his fate?

Learn to be objective sometimes.

You know, you can't set up a jobless adult sibling who do not want to be set up....it is like trying to fill a basket with water!

Go and mind your hustle and keep the money with you. That may just be your own share since you claim there's a gang up.

Meanwhile, face your life and its betterment because nobody can carry everybody along don't ever make that mistake. If you fail, these people will never be there to bail you out.

This is the very reason why i advise old men never to leave money for greedy family when they die. Let them eat their money everything finish.. Nonsense lazy entitled people. Mchew. Had it been the money wasnt there, they would have gone to hustle for themselves .

This is the very reason why families end up fighting each other due to properties or money left by the dead father.

greenie77:


You know, you can't set up a jobless adult sibling who do not want to be set up....it is like trying to fill a basket with water!

swears. You just leave the idiot to his penury because God knows you have tried your best.

dingbang:
This is the very reason why i advise old men never to leave money for greedy family when they die. Let them eat their money everything finish.. Nonsense lazy entitled people. Mchew. Had it been the money wasnt there, they would have gone to hustle for themselves .

This is the very reason why families end up fighting each other due to properties or money left by the dead father.

That reminds of a man who had a block of 6 flats in Lagos, he and his family lived in two flats while the other 4 was on rental. With his children all grown and moved out, some even married, in 2018 he and his wife without the knowledge of their 7 children decided to sell the house as they wanted to retire to their village. The house was sold and the man gave each of his 7 children share of the money as he deemed fit and there would be no urban property to fight over when he passes on.

So any of them who misuses what he/she was given, would have no one to blame or fight.

psalmistkakah:
Good morning, this is so disheartening. How my later father's benefits was squandered within 7 months.. I am the third child but first son, the first two are women and three men. My late father benefits was process by my two younger brothers as my mum requested and I obliged inorder not to cause wahala in d family.. Am married with two children, Own a business of mine, while my two younger brothers are jobless the last one is 33 years and a graduate who we handed the task of processing d money. We all have @ least national diploma. The money came out early January 2021. I told Dem we need to invest this money and keep some incase to buy offer for my brother.. with out my consent they rush and bought a house, my father already build a house in the village. I say no problem is still ok 3million for house.due to covid 19 my business suffer a set back, I kept demanding for money from my youngest brother to settle some debt instead of giving me the money at once, he refuse...I wanted d money in bulk so dat I can used it to support my bizness..I never knew how it accumulated to #700,000 according to my brother that I collected.. I say no wahala.. two months ago I collected #600,000 to buy a car and resale then to return d capital back to him .. to my surprise when I asked him of d balance of wat is left d money is finished. I ask wat he use d money for.. he said I consume d highest amount #700,000 while d money was use to settle family problems that he have d record of every expenses made including the one my two elders sisters collected from him..I told him problem no dey finished..no investment nothing just like dat. d last #600,000 in my possession I decided I will not give it to him, I gotten a shop already which I will eqiup and open for him to run nairabet cos I have agency with nairabet..but he is insisting that I shod give him d money..and my two elders sisters and my mum are supporting him cos they manipulate him easily..I have vow not to release d money to them .I will use it to open a bizness for him .the last time I saw his balance two months ago was 500,000. with in two months they finished 500,000..if I release the remaining the one with me to them they will finish it and the family problem will come back to me as usual..the problem is they see me as a failure but am taking good care of my family and non of them is better than me..Non of them spend a dime during my dad burial even my sister husband's if not for my uncle's that supported and I did my best but they are all against me not to handle the money, because I don't believe in wasting money..they find me rigid, I only release money when it is necessary am not a saint too. Now they want me to realeas the remaining one to them.. we still have two landed properties if am two release d money to dem I will collect d documents of one of d landed properties and free them.. these people are driven me crazy.. now I have palpitations due to stress.. thinking of how they will survive if this last money is not properly invested.. my mum and the rest are the same, am the only one different and trying to tell them how to use this money without giving it to me..I remember telling my mum am afraid this money will finish and they might end up selling d house which dey bought she ignore and it is about happening now..

I just wish is possible you give them the money and put them behind you as a past and build your self strong to the extent that you can't be broke

Even if you return the money back to them, that land you Said that they will give you one document, they will sell it behind you

But if you are very sure that if you return the money, they will give you the documents, return the money, collect the documents and sell the land and use the proceed to establish yourself and buy another land that will be written on your name and your wife name, because of tomorrow

They are just wasteful and they want to ruin you down since they can't rise

Bola146:
God should bless all of us financially and materially to a point that even your siblings sell your father's house, you wouldn't be moved because you have your own job and not lazy. Some families go spiritual because of this, killing themselves because of father's properties. What if your father didn't laboured for all these, what will you guys be fighting for No unity! No oneness!!


I'm just speechless!!!! I'm the first child of my family, followed by a male, he doesn't know ( he is not even interested to know) where my father's other properties are. If I should be fully in charged as the first child, I would have be more financially okay that this but I'm not interested, if I become great tommorow, I'll have more than his. My father is afraid what if he died, we don't bother to help him or interested in helping him supervise them because we are afraid of his relatives and juju

Forget that juju nonsense . you guys should know your fathers properties and locations.

Especially you and your immediate brother

If you believe juju doesn't exist, it won't work on you.

Juju or whatever nonsense they call it most times are mostly fake . why most people fear juju that much is simply fear. It most times does not work

I'm glad I got no siblings

Ur brothers just mismanaged the sweat and toil of ur father.

This is truly bad and I am sure with time,they will know how terrible their decisions were.

Hope they won't start to plan on how to sell off his remaining properties?

Pls,take ur place as the head of the family else,expect more of this from them.

Had same money been invested in Fgn bonds or mutual funds today,that money would have been making returns of about 600k per annum or more.

What a worthless way to expend his benefits.

Keep up ur effort in giving them sense of belonging.
Good luck to the family.

Bola146:
God should bless all of us financially and materially to a point that even your siblings sell your father's house, you wouldn't be moved because you have your own job and not lazy. Some families go spiritual because of this, killing themselves because of father's properties. What if your father didn't laboured for all these, what will you guys be fighting for No unity! No oneness!!


I'm just speechless!!!! I'm the first child of my family, followed by a male, he doesn't know ( he is not even interested to know) where my father's other properties are. If I should be fully in charged as the first child, I would have be more financially okay that this but I'm not interested, if I become great tommorow, I'll have more than his. My father is afraid what if he died, we don't bother to help him or interested in helping him supervise them because we are afraid of his relatives and juju

Imagine Otedola, Adenuga or Indimi kids saying they don't want to know anything about their parents' properties. You had better go and know about it, everyone wants to be independent but you still need to know about your parents' properties.

greenie77:


That reminds of a man who had a block of 6 flats in Lagos, he and his family lived in two flats while the other 4 was on rental. With his children all grown and moved out, some even married, in 2018 he and his wife without the knowledge of their 7 children decided to sell the house as they wanted to retire to their village. The house was sold and the man gave each of his 7 children share of the money as he deemed fit and there would be no urban property to fight over when he passes on.

So any of them who misuses what he/she was given, would have no one to blame or fight.

very wise man. Many families are not united now all because of late father's properties. Brother be killing brother because of land. Very pathetic

MufasaLion:


Imagine Otedola, Adenuga or Indimi kids saying they don't want to know anything about their parents' properties. You had better go and know about it, everyone wants to be independent but you still need to know about your parents' properties.

If he want us to be in charge, he will definitely do so, but he put most of his relatives there, he never supported his children on school fees, feeding, etc from day one, he was there from primary till PhD of my brothers 10%, my mother did everything. Maybe his relatives juju is at work, so we have moved on!