On this week’s #NairaLife, this 30-year-old lady’s quality of life nosedived after the death of her husband in 2020. Her current biggest worry? Raising her four kids on an average monthly income of ₦14k.

When did you first realise the importance of money?

That would be after my father died in 2003. We lived in a village in Ankpa in Kogi state and didn’t have much. But we didn’t suffer because my father took care of us. He made furniture and was also a farmer.

When he died, my mother had to mourn him for two years. This meant she had to stay at home, so someone had to take care of our family.

And that person was you?

Yes. I was 12 years old and the eldest of five children. The first thing I sold was oranges. A basin of oranges cost ₦700, and I made a profit of ₦800 after each sale. Any money I brought home was what we used to buy food.

After a while, I started going into the bush to gather firewood to sell. One bundle went for ₦300, and that paid for my school fees.

How much was your school fees?

₦1200.

How long did you do this for?

About two years. In 2005, one of my aunts who live in Lagos came to the village and asked me to come with her. She said we were suffering too much, and she wanted to help us. My mother’s mourning period had ended, so I didn’t have to stay in the village if I didn’t want to. I agreed and followed my aunt to Lagos.

What did you do when you got to Lagos?

I helped my aunt with her soft drinks business. She showed me how it worked, and I started selling on the streets. At the end of every month, she paid me ₦5k. She also put me in a tutorial centre. I sold drinks during the day and went to my classes in the evening.

It didn’t reach two years after I came to Lagos when I got married.

Tell me about how it happened.

A soldier took an interest in me. Whenever he bought drinks from me, he gave me something extra. That was all at first. Later, he said he wanted to marry me. I looked at him, and I looked at myself. I thought if someone like me could marry a soldier, maybe our suffering would be reduced. So I agreed to marry him.

I introduced him to my aunt and her husband. From there, we went home to my village to meet the rest of my family. We got married later in 2006. I think the whole thing cost him like ₦50k. My people don’t collect a bride price, but my uncle took ₦50 and my mother took ₦20 out of the money to show that they supported the marriage. The remaining money was used to entertain our guests.

Ah, I see.

He was a lance-corporal in the army and his salary was about ₦48k when we got married. We gave birth to our first child — a daughter — in 2007.

Things were good: I won’t lie. He took good care of me. From his salary, he’d give me ₦10k to send home to my mother and give me extra money to buy food in the house and take care of myself.

In 2009, we gave birth to our second child. That was also when I decided to start making some money on my own. I started selling fruits — oranges, pineapples and watermelons. For every ₦5k market I bought, I made ₦7500.

I did this until 2011 before my husband asked me to stop. The market wasn’t selling very well anymore, and I was also pregnant with our third child.

What made me stop was what he promised me.

What did he promise you?

A shop where I could start a better business. At some point, he wanted to take a loan to start me up, but I told him not to — I fear loans.

Now that I wasn’t working or selling anything, my children and I relied on him, and he didn’t fail. Not even when our last child came in 2015. He had started earning ₦60k and was close to being promoted to a corporal.

Every month, he sent us ₦20k for our feeding. It was enough because things were still cheap at the time. I’d spend ₦5k on baby food and diapers, ₦10k for foodstuff and save the remaining ₦5k so we could have something to spend before the month was over.

My husband also took care of the children’s school fees. When it was time to pay, he’d send his whole salary for that month. That’s how our family worked — I stayed home to take care of the children and he did the rest.

Then in 2017, they said he should go to Maiduguri to fight Boko Haram. My last child wasn’t even up to two years at the time. Nothing much happened until March last year.

What happened?

One night, I got a call around 9:30 p.m. The person introduced himself as a major and said that he was sorry, but they lost my husband in combat. I wanted to run mad. We had spoken the previous day, and he talked about coming back home in three months.

Oh my God. I’m so sorry.

Thank you. They buried him there and sent his things home. I couldn’t even go for his burial because it was during the lockdown, and they said everybody should stay at home.

I’m very sorry. He passed on active duty. Did you get any of his benefits?
That’s where the problem is. His brother was his next of kin, so his name was on paper. After they got the money, his family turned their back on me. Now they don’t even remember me or the children. I don’t know how much they gave them, but nothing got to me or the children.

Ah!

That wasn’t all. We were living in the barracks before my husband passed. After the army paid my husband’s people, they asked us to leave the barracks. I moved in with one of my cousins and that’s where I’m squatting now.

What are you doing these days?

Since June, I’ve worked at the barracks. I sweep two blocks in the barracks every morning for ₦14k at the end of the month. I have no money in my bank account or my savings. I use everything to buy food and take care of my children.

How do you manage it?

The first thing I do is to take ₦4k out every month. From that, I give my children ₦50 each every morning when they go to school so they won’t be looking at other children. The rest of what I make is for food. Thank God for the neighbours that bring something from time to time. My aunt sends me money when she can and my younger ones send foodstuffs.

My biggest headache is their school fees.

How much is their school fees?

My first child is 14 years old and is in JSS 2. I withdrew her from the private school after my husband died and took her to a government school. They don’t collect school fees there even though I pay ₦5k for PTA and other things. The second child is 12 years old and in Primary 5, and the school fees is about ₦25k. I also pay about that amount for the third child who is 10 years old and in Primary 3. My last born is six years old and in primary one. His own school fee is ₦20k.

How do you raise the money?

Ah, when it’s time to pay their school fees, I start to disturb my people. Some of my husband’s friends also send me money for this. I gather the money from everywhere I can find. I fear that people will stop helping me soon. That’s why I want to start my own business.

What business do you have in mind?

I want to get a shop and start selling provisions and drinks. I don’t even know how much I need because I’ve not started asking around. I want to have some money in my hand first.

But I know it’s the next thing for me. It’s my prayer request every day. I even drop something when I go to church — even if it’s ₦100. I just want to have enough money to take care of my children.

As you are now, how do you see life and money?

If you’re alive and you don’t have money, you’re nothing and nobody. But if you have money, you will be okay and happy. The people around you will also be happy and proud of you because they know you can help them.

Hmm. What was the last thing that made you happy?

When my husband was alive, he would send us extra money during holidays so I could take the children out. That used to make me happy. Now, it’s their school fees. Once I pay it like this, I’m happy.

It’s been a difficult year, but how would you rate your financial happiness on a scale of 0-10?

2. But I know that nothing is hard for God. I’ll be happy very soon, and people will know that I’m happy.

Source: https://www.zikoko.com/money/naira-life/the-struggling-nairalife-of-a-widow-whos-raising-four-kids/

How can someone with a working brain have four fucking children

tensazangetsu20:
How can someone with a working brain have four fucking children

That is what you get from an idle mind. When your mind is idle, you become unproductive as such sex becomes priority number one.


Disclaimer: you're hereby advised not the read or click on my signature intentionally

What happened?

One night, I got a call around 9:30 p.m. The person introduced himself as a major and said that he was sorry, but they lost my husband in combat. I wanted to run mad. We had spoken the previous day, and he talked about coming back home in three months.

Yet you have Buhari's supporters chanting to high heavens that Boko Haram devils should be forgiven after slaughtering innocent Nigerians and soldiers - effects of swallowing El-Rufai's cum (See my signature).

Remember when I said "Nigerian men have failed their women?", this is a case study. What this woman is passing through cannot happen in Singapore or South Korea. Before one blockhead chants "but the family took the money away", in those Asian countries, there is the rule of law where this woman can seek redress and she would be confident in the justice system not West Africa's most lawless sh!thole.

I really do sympathise with the children and hope they know (when grown) that it was Buhari, his cohorts and blockhead supporters (right from 2007 to date) that caused their predicament.

---

That said:

Gerrard59:
Giving birth to children you cannot cater for: Like I stated here (https://www.nairaland.com/3450586/poor-un-intelligent-people-should-not), giving birth is cheap (depends on certain factors) but raising children isn’t as you are basically catering for another individual or set of people over a long period of time. People frown when their friends/relatives/acquaintances overstay in their houses because of the attendant costs. Now imagine having those individuals with you over a decade or two under your care, financially, emotionally, morally, physically, spiritually etc. That is what it means to raise children. The aspect of procreating to 3 or 4 children when you know the dysfunctional system you reside is befuddling and amusing. The worst is when they expect these children to cater for them in the future whereas same children are battling with limited economic opportunities.

I know someone whose wife died more than a decade ago and had four children from the marriage. He took care of them as he progressed in his place of work, unfortunately, he has issues with the new boss (he is quite opinionated) resulting in his promotion being stalled and salary withheld (according to what he me). The issue here: he remarried few years ago and is currently not finding things easy as the industry he is in was severely affected by the pandemic and lockdown measures. In that wedding, he spent a lot of money. I am sure the new wife will want to birth her own children as I hear that she had only a sibling which came many years after. Which makes me wonder why Nigerian men are not interested in vasectomy because it solves lots of problems including having children with other women outside marriage (another cost to finance).

Over the years, in the non-tertiary sub-sector, private organisations have surpassed public systems as the most preferred for most Nigerians even though these people were educated in the public systems. But at the tertiary level, the vast majority go to public institutions which truthfully the government cannot continue to subsidise going forward in the face of declining crude oil prices. Although, the oil industry constitutes less than 10% of the country’s GDP, it rakes the most foreign exchange contributing at least 80%. However, the price has declined; almost every country is discovering oil, technology has made it easier & faster in non-OPEC countries, alternatives are springing up, major buyers aim to phase out certain aspects of crude oil derivatives in their systems etc. Inevitably, the price has reduced which is not what we need to sustain the ballooning population and cost of governance. Thus, the government does not have enough money to cater for everyone (even if there is no corruption). This implies that the education system will be starved of much needed funds. I explained it: here:

You people will learn the hard way, I am here to remind you.

tensazangetsu20:
How can someone with a working brain have four fucking children

Why not?

People can have as many children as they please— provided they plan to have that many and have a life plan for the children and themselves.

Sometimes unpredictable things happen and it seems like a poor decision. But there was once a plan.

Damnnn niggarrrr
Hell no.....ain't reading this long article

Okay...I managed to peruse through the article with the help of my weed and I must say the story is filled with pathos and sadness.....
As a real niggarrr I empathize and sympathize with the woman

But why will a grown ass moda fuckkker not change the next of kin when it is time to do so

Emmmm sorry auntie

But the worst business you can do is provision business... 4kids for that matter

If you ain't careful you might have problem in business

Ndi nairaland read my signature o

Four kids in this harsh economy without a good source of income is almost like embarking on a suicide mission

Sorry. What a pitiable condition...

But I want to advise young widows especially the ones in the rural zones of this zoo. There's this trend of multiplying their children after their husband is late. They may have given birth to one or two kids before their husband died. After mourning the man, other men will start approaching them, promising to help them. They will begin to sleep around and will eventually multiply the kids to 4 or even 5. This is the practice in many rural zones in this country.

Why create more burden for yourself by bringing in more kids into the World. Body no be firewood yes, but know that your are alone and no one will care for you and your kids the way your late husband will do. Bleep with caution and practice the safest birth control.

All you need in life to be successful as a parent is one reasonable and successful child. The rest na jara

Na wah, people dey enjoy and people dey suffer, when can this life be balanced?








Guys wey no get girlfriend get peace of mind

Men, it's well.......

Lost my mom when I was 12 years old and just admitted into secondary school.. While my immediate younger bro was 7 years old....
The struggle was so tough because my dad was jobless and had no source of income.......Many people thought we wouldn't survive but thank God we did....

See en, this life no be beans oh...... Sometime when I sit aloof and think about where I'm coming from,what I've been through and where I'm now even though I never blow yet,I just dey chill...And if my skin full small,I go just buy one cold black fearless to step down because life hasn't been easy..But we gat push it on because so long there's life, certainly there's hope as well

Right now,na my popsman be my number one super hero.... until I go cruise am with many many good life,I no go rest via my hustle

Calebadoderinn:
Too bad one or two well to do nairalanders can assist her

As if they don't have their own problems including a long list of relations who are on the queue begging for financial help.

My mother
Your mother
Our mother
Will not die before we succeed in life

That wasn’t all. We were living in the barracks before my husband passed. After the army paid my husband’s people, they asked us to leave the barracks. I moved in with one of my cousins and that’s where I’m squatting now.

How could the interviewer missed this part?
He/She could have asked her, "you are the wife, and have 4 children with your late husband, so who are your husband people again if not you and your kids?
How much was paid to the so called "husband people"?
We're you given any amount?
What did they do to the money?

In saner climes, 100% of such money goes straight to the wife, the dead officer's family has nothing to do with anything finance, as long as their son is married.

Anyways, let us know how we can be of help, for the sake of those children
It is well.
May God bless us all.

We Rise.

DoggoneDogg:
[s][/s]

On 48k income abi.

The Nairaland widow & her late husband must be MAD.
I have no sympathies to waste here... nonsense



Inshort, if I catch her right now I go beat her die!
What rubbish!! You gave birth to FOUR kids and your husband's income was 48k & yours zero??

What happens to those kids now? Abuse, sexual molestation, suffering, trafficking, maltreatment, killed dreams etc... all because of their h0rny and sexually irresponsible parents.

Thunder fire this naraland widow.

Make dis tin just be fiction now cuz my blood dey hot

Are you normal for real?
Why are you ALWAYS so violent this way bayi?
You will beat her to death for having four kids?
What did you smoke?
Very annoying and irritating post to read.
We wonder the kinda souls we share this noble forum with.
Spits.

Read

twice on front page

H

[s]

BRATISLAVA:


Why not?

People can have as many children as they please— provided they plan to have that many and have a life plan for the children and themselves.

Sometimes unpredictable things happen and it seems like a poor decision. But there was once a plan.

[/s]

On 48k income abi.

The Nairaland widow & her late husband must be MAD.
I have no sympathies to waste here... nonsense



Inshort, if I catch her right now I go beat her die!
What rubbish!! You gave birth to FOUR kids and your husband's income was 48k & yours zero??

What happens to those kids now? Abuse, sexual molestation, suffering, trafficking, maltreatment, killed dreams etc... all because of their h0rny and sexually irresponsible parents.

Thunder fire this naraland widow.


Make dis tin just be fiction now cuz my blood dey hot

God help us

BigCabal:

Source: https://www.zikoko.com/money/naira-life/the-struggling-nairalife-of-a-widow-whos-raising-four-kids/

Drop her contact let me reach out to her with some serious public brain-resetting beating. The type wey all her cloth go tear she go naked for street.
Nonsense

Ok

BigCabal:
On this week’s #NairaLife, this 30-year-old lady’s quality of life nosedived after the death of her husband in 2020. Her current biggest worry? Raising her four kids on an average monthly income of ₦14k.

When did you first realise the importance of money?

That would be after my father died in 2003. We lived in a village in Ankpa in Kogi state and didn’t have much. But we didn’t suffer because my father took care of us. He made furniture and was also a farmer.

When he died, my mother had to mourn him for two years. This meant she had to stay at home, so someone had to take care of our family.

And that person was you?

Yes. I was 12 years old and the eldest of five children. The first thing I sold was oranges. A basin of oranges cost ₦700, and I made a profit of ₦800 after each sale. Any money I brought home was what we used to buy food.

After a while, I started going into the bush to gather firewood to sell. One bundle went for ₦300, and that paid for my school fees.

How much was your school fees?

₦1200.

How long did you do this for?

About two years. In 2005, one of my aunts who live in Lagos came to the village and asked me to come with her. She said we were suffering too much, and she wanted to help us. My mother’s mourning period had ended, so I didn’t have to stay in the village if I didn’t want to. I agreed and followed my aunt to Lagos.

What did you do when you got to Lagos?

I helped my aunt with her soft drinks business. She showed me how it worked, and I started selling on the streets. At the end of every month, she paid me ₦5k. She also put me in a tutorial centre. I sold drinks during the day and went to my classes in the evening.

It didn’t reach two years after I came to Lagos when I got married.

Tell me about how it happened.

A soldier took an interest in me. Whenever he bought drinks from me, he gave me something extra. That was all at first. Later, he said he wanted to marry me. I looked at him, and I looked at myself. I thought if someone like me could marry a soldier, maybe our suffering would be reduced. So I agreed to marry him.

I introduced him to my aunt and her husband. From there, we went home to my village to meet the rest of my family. We got married later in 2006. I think the whole thing cost him like ₦50k. My people don’t collect a bride price, but my uncle took ₦50 and my mother took ₦20 out of the money to show that they supported the marriage. The remaining money was used to entertain our guests.

Ah, I see.

He was a lance-corporal in the army and his salary was about ₦48k when we got married. We gave birth to our first child — a daughter — in 2007.

Things were good: I won’t lie. He took good care of me. From his salary, he’d give me ₦10k to send home to my mother and give me extra money to buy food in the house and take care of myself.

In 2009, we gave birth to our second child. That was also when I decided to start making some money on my own. I started selling fruits — oranges, pineapples and watermelons. For every ₦5k market I bought, I made ₦7500.

I did this until 2011 before my husband asked me to stop. The market wasn’t selling very well anymore, and I was also pregnant with our third child.

What made me stop was what he promised me.

What did he promise you?

A shop where I could start a better business. At some point, he wanted to take a loan to start me up, but I told him not to — I fear loans.

Now that I wasn’t working or selling anything, my children and I relied on him, and he didn’t fail. Not even when our last child came in 2015. He had started earning ₦60k and was close to being promoted to a corporal.

Every month, he sent us ₦20k for our feeding. It was enough because things were still cheap at the time. I’d spend ₦5k on baby food and diapers, ₦10k for foodstuff and save the remaining ₦5k so we could have something to spend before the month was over.

My husband also took care of the children’s school fees. When it was time to pay, he’d send his whole salary for that month. That’s how our family worked — I stayed home to take care of the children and he did the rest.

Then in 2017, they said he should go to Maiduguri to fight Boko Haram. My last child wasn’t even up to two years at the time. Nothing much happened until March last year.

What happened?

One night, I got a call around 9:30 p.m. The person introduced himself as a major and said that he was sorry, but they lost my husband in combat. I wanted to run mad. We had spoken the previous day, and he talked about coming back home in three months.

Oh my God. I’m so sorry.

Thank you. They buried him there and sent his things home. I couldn’t even go for his burial because it was during the lockdown, and they said everybody should stay at home.

I’m very sorry. He passed on active duty. Did you get any of his benefits?
That’s where the problem is. His brother was his next of kin, so his name was on paper. After they got the money, his family turned their back on me. Now they don’t even remember me or the children. I don’t know how much they gave them, but nothing got to me or the children.

Ah!

That wasn’t all. We were living in the barracks before my husband passed. After the army paid my husband’s people, they asked us to leave the barracks. I moved in with one of my cousins and that’s where I’m squatting now.

What are you doing these days?

Since June, I’ve worked at the barracks. I sweep two blocks in the barracks every morning for ₦14k at the end of the month. I have no money in my bank account or my savings. I use everything to buy food and take care of my children.

How do you manage it?

The first thing I do is to take ₦4k out every month. From that, I give my children ₦50 each every morning when they go to school so they won’t be looking at other children. The rest of what I make is for food. Thank God for the neighbours that bring something from time to time. My aunt sends me money when she can and my younger ones send foodstuffs.

My biggest headache is their school fees.

How much is their school fees?

My first child is 14 years old and is in JSS 2. I withdrew her from the private school after my husband died and took her to a government school. They don’t collect school fees there even though I pay ₦5k for PTA and other things. The second child is 12 years old and in Primary 5, and the school fees is about ₦25k. I also pay about that amount for the third child who is 10 years old and in Primary 3. My last born is six years old and in primary one. His own school fee is ₦20k.

How do you raise the money?

Ah, when it’s time to pay their school fees, I start to disturb my people. Some of my husband’s friends also send me money for this. I gather the money from everywhere I can find. I fear that people will stop helping me soon. That’s why I want to start my own business.

What business do you have in mind?

I want to get a shop and start selling provisions and drinks. I don’t even know how much I need because I’ve not started asking around. I want to have some money in my hand first.

But I know it’s the next thing for me. It’s my prayer request every day. I even drop something when I go to church — even if it’s ₦100. I just want to have enough money to take care of my children.

As you are now, how do you see life and money?

If you’re alive and you don’t have money, you’re nothing and nobody. But if you have money, you will be okay and happy. The people around you will also be happy and proud of you because they know you can help them.

Hmm. What was the last thing that made you happy?

When my husband was alive, he would send us extra money during holidays so I could take the children out. That used to make me happy. Now, it’s their school fees. Once I pay it like this, I’m happy.

It’s been a difficult year, but how would you rate your financial happiness on a scale of 0-10?

2. But I know that nothing is hard for God. I’ll be happy very soon, and people will know that I’m happy.

Source: https://www.zikoko.com/money/naira-life/the-struggling-nairalife-of-a-widow-whos-raising-four-kids/

If you don't mind can i add her to my 5k Monthly GiveAway?
You can read more about the GiveAway here >> https://www.nairaland.com/6543654/c.e.o-imranroofing-5k-weekly-giveaway
All i need is her contact and Acct details
So far the Stories is real
Kosi wahala

Always have a life assurance policy......... If you truly don't want your loved one's to suffer....... You owe them a good policy........

mtswwww

Gbongwon1:

That is what you get from an idle mind. When your mind is idle, you become unproductive as such sex becomes priority number one.


Disclaimer: you're hereby advised not the read or click on my signature intentionally

My brother those who are engaged and successful, goal oriented careless about sex. I discovered this when I became useful to my self. When I was idle years back...I move around the town with my girl that time as if girl is a champions league trophy. All on my mind was sex and how to satisfy her.

But these days. I don't even allow girls close to me. Talk more of prioritizing the bedroom sport. All on my mind now is how to beat my mates, the activities of Wall Street and the deeds going on in the onionland. If you know you know.

Life of a widow

May God provide for her

E be things....

���