Three years ago, I once helped a friend based in Lagos, while i was at the Eastern part of the country. This friend ll come up with different suffering stories every month in order to obtain money from me, I am a selfless individual, i don't feel comfortable if i am okay and people in my vicinity ain't okay.

This friend i was talking about, something happened and i later found out that, each time he is drawing his monthly budget, i am one of the income element in his monthly budget, i also found out his situation ain't as bad as he painted it to me. When i got to know about this, I cut ties with him immediately for taking me for a fool and for turning me to his meal ticket.

I have helped some other people in the past too, once i helped them once, they ll turn it to a norm and keep on coming back asking me for more money and bringing responsibility to my door step. Once i realised this, I always avoid them.

I once helped someone in my family, other people in the family got to know, the person i helped broadcasted my kind gesture. Na so this billing started from left, right and center from extended family, even those who don't have my phone number got it and started calling. I turned some of them down though, i am not the saviour of the world, i only do what God put in my mind to do. But what i observe is that if i help someone out of my own church mind, they will start thinking, be like say this one get money, let's fleece him.

It baffles me how many Nigerians reason. Because of this awkward mentality of some beneficiaries of my philanthropic act, i have started the leju pa, daju, kala method, make them no drain me completely and drag me to their level.

There is someone in my family i feel the urge to help for like 1 and half years now, but looking @ the consequence that might come afterwards, i couldn't help the person because of my previous experience. If i help the person, some other family member would know, i do my philanthropic act discreetly, but if the beneficiary tell just one person in the family , everywhere go burst. The other people in the family, if they find out, they ll start bringing their own responsibility for me to solve. If i couldn't take care of the responsibility, they will turn me to their enemy.

Even the beneficiary himself might turn it to a norm like others before him, he might be thinking that, "if he can help me without soliciting for it, he ll always help me, he has money". He won't know where to draw the line. It is not that I am rich, but Nigerians would just assume or jump into conclusion. Let's assume I am even rich, must they drain the person that is assisting them with responsibility? Without putting into consideration that i myself have my own personal responsibility i am battling with. The thought to help others only come when i have excess.

I think i am losing the humanitarian part of me because of people's abuse of it. How do i help people without them abusing the privilege?

Please note, i am not rich, but i am just someone who wants to be living fine and others around him to be living fine too.

help and move on...that way you don't give them the chance to abuse the privilege... WHEN YOU ARE ALWAYS AVAILABLE,THEN THE CHANCE OF THE PRIVILEGE TO BE ABUSED IS HIGH

People are just like that.

Its natural, some people just don't understand that there's limit to everything.

Don't stop doing good.

Ibime2003:

Personally I don't know why people behave like this. If you give an average Nigerian 5k, he would think you have 5m somewhere. Only few won't come back with another story, and if you fail to help this time, you automatically become an enemy.
Dear friend on the internet, this should not deter you from helping people, but once you see that this same person keeps coming. Just know how to figure it out and move on.

rickpat:
help and move on...that way you don't give them the chance to abuse the privilege... WHEN YOU ARE ALWAYS AVAILABLE,THEN THE CHANCE OF THE PRIVILEGE TO BE ABUSED IS HIGH

Move on might be easier for strangers, but for a family member, they can call, they even know where someone lives. And when you tell them, i am not loaded at the moment. You will start hearing so many things with that entitlement mentality vibe. How do one help and move on in such situation without making enemy out of it?

adebayo3449:
Personally I don't know why people behave like this. If you give an average Nigerian 5k, he would think you have 5m somewhere. Only few won't come back with another story, and if you fail to help this time, you automatically become an enemy.
Dear friend on the internet, this should not deter you from helping people, but once you see that this same person keeps coming. Just know how to figure it out and move on.

You really hit the nail on the head.

Ibime2003:


Move on might be easier for strangers, but for a family member, they can call, they even know where someone lives. And when you tell them, i am not loaded at the moment. You will start hearing so many things with that entitlement mentality vibe. How do one help and move on in such situation without making enemy out of it?

you will make enemies but have your SANITY INTACT