I recently came back to nija after a few yrs stint abroad to fend for my family. My heart and dreams are now in pieces after I recently discovered (via undeleted emails and text msgs) that my wife of 13yrs might have been having an affair with my neighbor who is also married with 2 kids. After several denials, she finally confessed that they were just flirting on email and text messages .She swore to everything that they never had any form of physical contact and so nothing else ever happened or could have happened btw them . And Ofcourse, I dont believe her. The tone of the correspondence is very suggestive that they could hve been intimate. I have asked her to leave but after two weeks of crying and begging for forgiveness, I decided to forgive her,only for the sake of our only young child. Its been six months now , but the pain is unbearable.How does a man live with a woman he can no longer trust? Should I send her away and end our marriage or let her stay, but then humiliate her for the rest of her life by keeping other women openly? I used to be a ladies man, so I could easily turn back "ON" my charm and unchain my libido.

The second part of this dilemma is the neighbor in question. Luckily for him, they had moved out shortly b4 i came back, but I know where he works in VI and where he lives. Since he has deliberately ruined my marriage and is enjoying his, I hv concluded in my mind to kill him. Seriously! My vexation is too great against this fellow. I hv considered walking up to him and sticking a big knife in his back or putting one bullet in his balls first and then another one in his head with my glock pistol,or, simply hire thugs to do the dirty work for me. I hve never plotted evil against a fellow human being in my entire life before this. The man has two very young kids. After the initial satisfaction of killing him, I may suffer regret and guilt for eternity.
Is this guy worth tainting my soul for eternity?

Pls everyone, put yourselves in my shoes and offer me real objective advice .

So what happens to your wife afterwards?Kill her too, cos both indulged in the act.Hence you have forgiven your wife i think you should forgive this other guy and move on.You will be happier not killing him at the long run.

But, if i were you i would let this guy know that what he did was wrong and possibly confirm if he had intimacy with my wife.Atleast that will ease up the tension.They may not have done anything, but women are silly though.

Please don't kill

It is not worth it to have the death of another on your conscience forever, you may even end up languishing in prisons for years so why throw your life away?

Wait, did you say you were abroad for some years? Next time you have to be away for that length of time plan to be with your family, its not good for families to be apart for years. In some cases like that the spouses lose themselves to other people and the marriage gets broken. I have seen a husband that went abroad for years and left wify home only for him to make off with another woman and send message home for wify to find her levels and look for another husband, it sounds funny but it's not.

You guys are still lucky to have each other back after such long separation. Find it in you to forgive your wife, the hurts are still lurking in your heart. Discuss it out with your wife perhaps that may lighten your heart and make you feel better, you guys should work at renewing the love in your marriage. Pains like that may be hard to fade away but if old things are allowed to pass away for all things to become new, it may hurt less.

Oh shut up poster! I am sorry if I am coming out as harsh, but is your wife 10? Or was she violated? Where the fu**ck is your brain?
Like seriously are you that dumb?

You do know that attempting something like this is dangerous. You are putting your life on the line here. Risking your life for who? A woman who cheated on you. (Bullsh!!!t) If you get caught, your whole freaking life will be spend behind bars regretting for the rest of your life.

You better don't let a woman mess up your life any futher. Don't make any decision right now. Think about it critically. You have many options. . . Divorce, forgive her, but don't kill anybody for the sake of a woman. Especially a woman who cheated on you. (And for such a reason)

@Poster, I know how it feels but try to kill that urge in you to kill your neighbour, its not worth it one bit.


If you are very sure they were intimate, I think you can send her away and start a new life altogether but as for killing someone men there is so much to enjoy ahead.

If your serious DONT KILL ANYBODY!!! It is not worth it. If your messing with us, thanks you gave me a good laugh.

Nice replies
m impressed

Don't kill anyone. Forgive and move on. Have you tried fucking his wife?

Leave her and move on, Don't kill anyone sir

The bible says "Let he that haven't sin should cast the stone first"

The sinners or the one who judge, who was wrong first?¿¿

Moreso, as long as you can forgive your wife then u should be able to do that for your neighbour either. If u kill just because of ur wife, you'll probably be locked up in jail for life & i bet ur wife will bury(forget) u in a week and move on with another man. If that incidents are like a burden in your heart then its better to divorce her & start a new life.

Dyt:

Nice replies
m impressed

I know right? Usually nairaland replies are beyond worthless. I'm surprised no one has started insulting the OP yet.

How you think of killing a man who had CONSENSUAL sex with your wife? She wasn't forced and she was probably the one that seduced him. Only a gullible person will believe they haven't slept together. If not for the evidence in emails and text messages, she would have denied everything to the point of death (that is why it's only FOOLS that trust women). I wonder what you still doing that marriage. In the US, that same woman would divorce you,take all you labored,marry that same neighbour and they will live "happily" ever after in YOUR HOUSE! Erring women must never be pitied or forgiven. She can poison you my friend. Wake up! ! !

I'm sorry but your wife is not smart cos you are not supposed to know. Just move on with your life and family, and don't mistakenly go to your neighbours office.

why hasn't 190 posted here-abi im still dey sleep

OP, na warakpa dey worry YOU for head !!!

Do you know how many times you have sinned against God, has He killed you yet?. . .U'r the most cowardest coward cow ever, for even thinkin of killin som1. Common, go and settle whatever problem u have with your wife, and leave that young man alone, u nyash burgger !!!

If you kill him, you will be sent to the gallows, and another man will have free reign to f**k your wife without mercy. Just think about the way another man will just be enjoying your wife. Imagine it.

If you cannot stand the thought, then ditch the killing plan and move on with your married life. If you let women, they will send you to an early grave. I HAVE HAD MORE THAN ENOUGH EXPERIENCES TO KNOW THAT THIS THING CALLED MARRIAGE IS AN EMOTIONALLY TASKING AFFAIR WHICH IS NOT FOR THE FAINT AT HEART.

That statement "for better for worse", is not a joke and should not be taken lightly.

Op
Dont just kill d man,
But also wipe his family out.

M M M:

Op
Dont just kill d man,
But also wipe his family out.

190 and M M M una advice nor get rival

Its easy to forgv but hard to 4get!pls 4gv her n move on,but search urslf too,dip dwn ur hrt,while u were away,u wana tell us dat u ve being faithful?u nevr had sex wiv anoda woman?cos u men,wen u catch ur wife in such act,u dnt lik 4givn,but wen u r caught,u alwys want women to 4gv u people,all I can say is 4gv her,try ur best to 4get it all,and strt afresh,and dnt be far 4rm her again.she is too young to stay alone.shikena

Would you feel better after killing the man?
Remember dat 9ja prisonn is not lyk what we see in American movies oo.
Act wisely.

^^ Leavam naa. . .

Until him go dey chop half don beans for breakfast, na dat time him eye go clear!

Ranoscky:

^^ Leavam naa. . .

Until him go dey chop half don beans for breakfast, na dat time him eye go clear!

Thanks people for all your sincere advice so far. Interestingly, the women posters seem to hv a better grasp of the situation. I'm a bit dissapointed at the men. Now, its so easy to say forgive and do this and do tha,t because ur not one feeling the pain . I hv not dislocsed this to any close freind or family member because i prefered to throw the issue at complete strangers and get their feelings. Specifically, I wanted the men to put themselves in my shoes, imagine that they were the victim, try to feel a tiny bit of the rage inside me and then advise me accordingly.
And for those that asked, yes i was faithfull for the entire period i was away. Hard to believe, eh? I am a rare bread and thats why its soooo painful.
Now, I ask all of u, isn't there something so sacred and so precious that one should be willing to kill or die to defend? If so, is one's family honour not worth killing or dieing for?? My family is in a mess, the future happiness of my child is in jeopardy while this MO/FO is enjoying his own family life and probably thumping his chest. Wouldn't killing him be an act of self defence??. Who amonst you would not kill to defend the lives or the integrity of your family?

The family system or structure is the basic pillar or cornerstone of any society or nation both in our traditional and modern times. If we are all willing to fight, kill and and to die to defend our nations, shouldn't we do the same for our family??