Dear Nairalanders,

I have done all I could do to please my wife and make her happy in this life but she seems not to have feelings and love for me anymore. Her parents have made it clear to her to stay put in the marriage, the priest in the church has also advised her but she seems to be influenced by friend and maybe other factors unknown to me.

She separated from me sometimes but later came back on her own with our kids. I thought she has had a change of heart to make the marriage work but all I am seeing is attitude tof hers that tries to frustrate my efforts towards making the marriage work and make me unhappy.

Know I have decided to let her go back to her parents at least for some time to help me have my sanity, although before now I have told her parents we will be visiting for easter so I will use the opportunity to let her spend some time in her parents house, but am surprised her mother called recently to inform me she (mother) will be visiting.

At this juncture, what do I do? Do I still send or take her to her parents at least for my sanity to be restored because she seems to be doing anything that will displeased me ( no communication, no intimacy for months, not keeping the house tidy no moral support to and from my work place, disrespectful, insults and pompousity).

Or do I wait for her mother to visit first because these issues mentioned have been recurring and i dont know what her mother can do at this time.

Already when i entered my wifes room, she had already packed her belongings and our daughters belonging in readiness to leave because I had already told her she will need to go home for some time.

Please what best advise can I get here so I wont make a mistake I will regret,thanks.

You don too love this your wife. You beg her to marry you and now you are also begging her to stay with you. How long will you continue to beg her?
Moral of the story, don't ever beg anyone to marry you.

My suggestion, marry another wife.

My opinion:
Don't ever beg anyone to marry you

I pray not to meet this kinda woman in my life that's why I don't date girls with lot of friend

I don’t even know what to say but this is a one sided story,you were good, responsible and all that and your wife still fell out of love for you? Obviously there’s something you are not telling us.

It takes two to make a marriage work.

Amos 3:3 rightly said it.

Wait for her mum to come, explain all you're going through in the marriage to her. If after her mum leaves, things don't improve, odd advise a formal separation.

Iyaebe:
I don’t even know what to say but this is a one sided story,you were good, responsible and all that and your wife still fell out of love for you? Obviously there’s something you are not telling us.

The only thing I did wrong like shouting at her misbehaviours which she did not display prior to our marriage and not wanting her to be keeping singles who are not responsible as friends. That's all. What other wrong. Pls believe me that this might be spiritual or negative influence from secret friends. I need to have my sanity pls.

Iyaebe:
I don’t even know what to say but this is a one sided story,you were good, responsible and all that and your wife still fell out of love for you? Obviously there’s something you are not telling us.

noise maker! Always finding a way to side her fellow gender.

MYDEBBY:



The only thing I did wrong like shouting at her misbehaviours which she did not display prior to our marriage and not wanting her to be keeping singles who are not responsible as friends. That's all. What other wrong. Pls believe me that this might be spiritual or negative influence from secret friends. I need to have my sanity pls.

Just try to look for ways around it,children from broken homes suffer a lot,consider this and do your best to restore your marriage

MYDEBBY:
At this juncture, what do I do? Do I still send or take her to her parents at least for my sanity to be restored because she seems to be doing anything that will displeased me ( no communication, no intimacy for months, not keeping the house tidy no moral support to and from my work place, disrespectful, insults and pompousity).

Or do I wait for her mother to visit first because these issues mentioned have been recurring and i dont know what her mother can do at this time.

Already when i entered my wifes room, she had already packed her belongings and our daughters belonging in readiness to leave because I had already told her she will need to go home for some time.

Please what best advise can I get here so I wont make a mistake I will regret,thanks.

You should have started by explaining the details of the grudge your wife is really holding against you. Your OP does not attempt to offer a balanced take on the problem you describe making it had to offer a tailored suggestion.

If you don't even know, I suggest you seek professional marriage counseling as a couple- not priests or relatives - in order to help you both get on the same page as far as where things went wrong , and also understanding best way you both can move forward. You need to understand the problem before you can properly resolve it. Throwing makeshift ideas as solution does not cut it even in marriage.

MYDEBBY:
The only thing I did wrong like shouting at her misbehaviours which she did not display prior to our marriage and not wanting her to be keeping singles who are not responsible as friends. That's all. What other wrong. Pls believe me that this might be spiritual or negative influence from secret friends. I need to have my sanity pls.

Behaviors like what?

And about her friend's, is this your wife your child or what abeg?

Her mother shouldn’t come yet. Fix a meeting with both your family and hers.. Your family and hers and iron out the issues bothering the matter.
It is well

My dear she will learn her lesson the hard way, Stay away from foolish friends they have nothing good to offer. One advice for you, during her stay there avoid calling her. Always cal MIL or FIL to speak with your girls. Her brain go reset very soon

Op, what about your first wife because I am pretty sure this is the second lady you impregnated while doing a program in her school. By the way, your relationship/marriage to her is on a deceitful foundation.

I am not supporting her ooo but I have to be harsh and honest with you, such relationships don't last.

Have you run out of lies

Look for another girl and start afresh.

MYDEBBY:
Dear Nairalanders,

I have done all I could do to please my wife and make her happy in this life but she seems not to have feelings and love for me anymore. Her parents have made it clear to her to stay put in the marriage, the priest in the church has also advised her but she seems to be influenced by friend and maybe other factors unknown to me.

She separated from me sometimes but later came back on her own with our kids. I thought she has had a change of heart to make the marriage work but all I am seeing is attitude tof hers that tries to frustrate my efforts towards making the marriage work and make me unhappy.

Know I have decided to let her go back to her parents at least for some time to help me have my sanity, although before now I have told her parents we will be visiting for easter so I will use the opportunity to let her spend some time in her parents house, but am surprised her mother called recently to inform me she (mother) will be visiting.

At this juncture, what do I do? Do I still send or take her to her parents at least for my sanity to be restored because she seems to be doing anything that will displeased me ( no communication, no intimacy for months, not keeping the house tidy no moral support to and from my work place, disrespectful, insults and pompousity).

Or do I wait for her mother to visit first because these issues mentioned have been recurring and i dont know what her mother can do at this time.

Already when i entered my wifes room, she had already packed her belongings and our daughters belonging in readiness to leave because I had already told her she will need to go home for some time.

Please what best advise can I get here so I wont make a mistake I will regret,thanks.

You don't need to wait till her mother comes

Once the child is on Easter vacation, take her to her parents and tell her parents that will appreciate her to remain with them that all the characters she has been exhibitimg shows that she is feed up with the marriage

Just make sure that you leave her there and go your way

Then tell her never to come back home with out your consent and approval

That alone will reset things for everyone

MYDEBBY:
Dear Nairalanders,

I have done all I could do to please my wife and make her happy in this life but she seems not to have feelings and love for me anymore. Her parents have made it clear to her to stay put in the marriage, the priest in the church has also advised her but she seems to be influenced by friend and maybe other factors unknown to me.

She separated from me sometimes but later came back on her own with our kids. I thought she has had a change of heart to make the marriage work but all I am seeing is attitude tof hers that tries to frustrate my efforts towards making the marriage work and make me unhappy.

Know I have decided to let her go back to her parents at least for some time to help me have my sanity, although before now I have told her parents we will be visiting for easter so I will use the opportunity to let her spend some time in her parents house, but am surprised her mother called recently to inform me she (mother) will be visiting.

At this juncture, what do I do? Do I still send or take her to her parents at least for my sanity to be restored because she seems to be doing anything that will displeased me ( no communication, no intimacy for months, not keeping the house tidy no moral support to and from my work place, disrespectful, insults and pompousity).

Or do I wait for her mother to visit first because these issues mentioned have been recurring and i dont know what her mother can do at this time.

Already when i entered my wifes room, she had already packed her belongings and our daughters belonging in readiness to leave because I had already told her she will need to go home for some time.

Please what best advise can I get here so I wont make a mistake I will regret,thanks.

But bros, in 2019, people advised you against forcing someone that doesn't want you to marriage.

Can you now see the issues you are facing

Don't u have shame??
Below was your post in the year 2019, 4 years after u are still lamenting? U forced this girl into marrying u. U can't force someone into marriage & expect them to be happy

MYDEBBY:
Dear Nairalanders, I greet you all.

Pls I need candid advice, I have dated my wife for over six years without an issue and now that we have done traditional rites and about to climax with white wedding she is giving flimsy excuses that she is no longer interested in me.

She is currently in final year and has drastically changed in her dressing and attitude towards due to influence of friends in school.

Often I do report incidences of her recent poor dressing to her parents after cautioning her she will channel the grievances to me.

The recent one made her so angry that she started recanting all my past mistakes which she and her family are aware of and have resolved since now using it as an excuse against me that she is no longer interested.

She kept mute for over two weeks due to anger yet I still transferred money twice to her but up till now she did not acknowledged it, only for her to send text that she need money for our daughters school fees. I then decide to visit them off campus where they stay yesterday with lots of provision yet she could not say a common thank you.

While I was still making peace with her asking her to forgive me for whatever wrong I have done to her by reporting her to her PARENTS, promising not to do so again, a guy knocked the door and she went out after the guy I asked a relation who was there who was the guy and he said he is my wife's friend, I quickly followed them on citing me the guy diverted after their discussion about me.

When we then entered the house I asked her who was the guy and she said that's not my business. I kept quiet.

After a while I called her parents to tell them the situation of things that their daughter said she is no longer interested they now asked us to come down to the village to see them this coming weekend.

I know things are not alright somewhere and as such I need straight forward advice on what to do.

Pls no insult just help out.

Thanks

A nairalander gave u the advice below & u ignored it. What is happening now? U people never learn.

olabrinks:
She is not interested in the marriage, and if you marry her by force you will be entering a life time of misery and a constant battle to prove yourself to her. Better get out now before it’s too late. It’s that simple.

I don’t know why men are always fighting for women that don’t want them. They’re millions of single available women go and look for them and leave this small girl alone.

MYDEBBY:



The only thing I did wrong like shouting at her misbehaviours which she did not display prior to our marriage and not wanting her to be keeping singles who are not responsible as friends. That's all. What other wrong. Pls believe me that this might be spiritual or negative influence from secret friends. I need to have my sanity pls.

All I see is an idle husband.



You have too much free time on your hands.

.