Nightaccountant:

I cross heart i have never cheated on her but by the way things are going It seem like cheating might be my last lifeline which I might regret
Please I need your sincere advise cos it's early for these. Dear nairalander help save a marriage

Nightaccountant:
Please my dear nairalander, i sincerely need your help
Am married with a child but not yet wedded. I've completely settled her bride price list remaining their bride price token which rhe items required are kola nut and 120 naira and another #15 according to their traditional rites which I intend to payoff on our forthcoming traditional ceremony.
But here lies the problem, my wife is that kind of woman who sex starves his husband. She always expect me to beg repeatedly before she agrees to love making. She sees it as a weapon, and am growing tired cos it lowers self esteem ( someone who experienced it would understand better). Sometimes i struggle my way through while she's fast asleep but if she unfortunately wakes up she will be crying as if am ra**ing her. I don't know to do cos am not a woman type which she knows, am depressed b'cos its too early for this
Secondly she never apologize despite any gravity of her wrong doing. Instead she'll start giving me the silent treatment and plays the victim. I don't knpw if she sees it (marriage) as a competition. Recently she forgot my birthday making it thrice in a row despite alerting two days before it. And guess what she never apologized. She always wants to be treated like a queen while she never reciprocate.
I've had a heart to heart conversation about it to the extent I even woke the up at late hour (2am) to confront her about the consequences of her actions but all aids to nothing, gradually am losing the love I had for her but am just holding on for the sake of our child.
I cross heart i have never cheated on her but by the way things are going It seem like cheating might be my last lifeline which I might regret
Please I need your sincere advise cos it's early for these. Dear nairalander help save a marriage

Nightaccountant:
Please my dear nairalander, i sincerely need your help
Am married with a child but not yet wedded. I've completely settled her bride price list remaining their bride price token which rhe items required are kola nut and 120 naira and another #15 according to their traditional rites which I intend to payoff on our forthcoming traditional ceremony.
But here lies the problem, my wife is that kind of woman who sex starves his husband. She always expect me to beg repeatedly before she agrees to love making. She sees it as a weapon, and am growing tired cos it lowers self esteem ( someone who experienced it would understand better). Sometimes i struggle my way through while she's fast asleep but if she unfortunately wakes up she will be crying as if am ra**ing her. I don't know to do cos am not a woman type which she knows, am depressed b'cos its too early for this
Secondly she never apologize despite any gravity of her wrong doing. Instead she'll start giving me the silent treatment and plays the victim. I don't knpw if she sees it (marriage) as a competition. Recently she forgot my birthday making it thrice in a row despite alerting two days before it. And guess what she never apologized. She always wants to be treated like a queen while she never reciprocate.
I've had a heart to heart conversation about it to the extent I even woke the up at late hour (2am) to confront her about the consequences of her actions but all aids to nothing, gradually am losing the love I had for her but am just holding on for the sake of our child.
I cross heart i have never cheated on her but by the way things are going It seem like cheating might be my last lifeline which I might regret
Please I need your sincere advise cos it's early for these. Dear nairalander help save a marriage

Nightaccountant:
Please my dear nairalander, i sincerely need your help
Am married with a child but not yet wedded. I've completely settled her bride price list remaining their bride price token which rhe items required are kola nut and 120 naira and another #15 according to their traditional rites which I intend to payoff on our forthcoming traditional ceremony.
But here lies the problem, my wife is that kind of woman who sex starves his husband. She always expect me to beg repeatedly before she agrees to love making. She sees it as a weapon, and am growing tired cos it lowers self esteem ( someone who experienced it would understand better). Sometimes i struggle my way through while she's fast asleep but if she unfortunately wakes up she will be crying as if am ra**ing her. I don't know to do cos am not a woman type which she knows, am depressed b'cos its too early for this
Secondly she never apologize despite any gravity of her wrong doing. Instead she'll start giving me the silent treatment and plays the victim. I don't knpw if she sees it (marriage) as a competition. Recently she forgot my birthday making it thrice in a row despite alerting two days before it. And guess what she never apologized. She always wants to be treated like a queen while she never reciprocate.
I've had a heart to heart conversation about it to the extent I even woke the up at late hour (2am) to confront her about the consequences of her actions but all aids to nothing, gradually am losing the love I had for her but am just holding on for the sake of our child.
I cross heart i have never cheated on her but by the way things are going It seem like cheating might be my last lifeline which I might regret
Please I need your sincere advise cos it's early for these. Dear nairalander help save a marriage

Nightaccountant:
Please my dear nairalander, i sincerely need your help
Am married with a child but not yet wedded. I've completely settled her bride price list remaining their bride price token which rhe items required are kola nut and 120 naira and another #15 according to their traditional rites which I intend to payoff on our forthcoming traditional ceremony.
But here lies the problem, my wife is that kind of woman who sex starves his husband. She always expect me to beg repeatedly before she agrees to love making. She sees it as a weapon, and am growing tired cos it lowers self esteem ( someone who experienced it would understand better). Sometimes i struggle my way through while she's fast asleep but if she unfortunately wakes up she will be crying as if am ra**ing her. I don't know to do cos am not a woman type which she knows, am depressed b'cos its too early for this
Secondly she never apologize despite any gravity of her wrong doing. Instead she'll start giving me the silent treatment and plays the victim. I don't knpw if she sees it (marriage) as a competition. Recently she forgot my birthday making it thrice in a row despite alerting two days before it. And guess what she never apologized. She always wants to be treated like a queen while she never reciprocate.
I've had a heart to heart conversation about it to the extent I even woke the up at late hour (2am) to confront her about the consequences of her actions but all aids to nothing, gradually am losing the love I had for her but am just holding on for the sake of our child.
I cross heart i have never cheated on her but by the way things are going It seem like cheating might be my last lifeline which I might regret
Please I need your sincere advise cos it's early for these. Dear nairalander help save a marriage

Kobojunkie:
Have you consider engaging the aide of a professional marriage counselor at this point since it seems you think your wife is not giving much focus to your needs and desires in the marriage.

When it comes to marriage counseling,
▪︎It can help you clarify your feelings about your relationship.
▪︎It can help resolve relationship roadblocks before they become impasses
▪︎It can deepen intimacy and connection
▪︎It can help promote self-awareness and personal growth

burritto:
You are always talking about marriage counselor(or are you one) in all your post forgetting that not all marriage would survive (He is not even married yet). This one is in for a very long ride.

OP I know her type, they never change, they’ll frustrate you till you are forced to be really pissed and do something that you’ll regret. I’ll advice you let her be and don’t go into this marriage. You’ll divorce her eventually.
Receive sense

ZIMDRILL:


there are few things that i want to know like how is the child, what is her normal day like and how was sex before you married? Did giving birth affect her sex drive ?

most african men we demand sex instead of initiating it through many especially with digital era, text during the day how you miss making love to her etc by the time you get home she would be Hot

Try to help with house chores or being romantic eg while she cooking help her cutting oniions eyc or hold her say nice things eg baby the way your body is moving is killing me, by doing such your killing some reasons she might say like am tired you would have helped in chores hence no reason to say am tired

For not saying sorry dont always expect it in the heat or soon after a misunderstanding, its sometimes better to reengage the subject after few hours or day eg explaining yo point of view without being judged

The idea here is to exhaust any excuses your woman can use against you to deny you sex, after exhausting all avenues any reasonable person would be able to back you up

Finally tell her the truth that you are using sex a wreapon no different to a man who wont give wife money for food becoz he is pissed off with her

Kobojunkie:
If you have no idea what purpose professional marriage counseling serves, ask please.

A professional marriage counselor works more as a mediator to help couples dig down to the core of issues in their marriage guiding to and through whatever next phases they choose for themselves. Even if a couple decides in the end that divorce is the best next step, having a counselor sit between helps each spouse better understand and accept the decision.

burritto:
1. I don’t need you to tell me what it is ma’am, google is my friend. I just wonder why you keep using marriage counselors as the only solution you come up with when you see people talking about their crisis in marriage. This OP is not fully married self.

2. Marriage counseling works in some way but it’s not the ultimate. Some marriages are not meant to be, marriage counselor or not.

Kobojunkie:
1. Professional marriage counseling
2. professional marriage counselor

burritto:


Say something else na, haba

Kobojunkie:
Professional marriage counseling

Eketem:
When she says no and you " struggle your way through " that is rape.
Get professional counselling and find out the issues or walk away before you land yourself In jail