I started dating a divorcee two months ago,along d line he told me he had a girlfriend who he could not abadon cos she stood by him when his wife left him.he claimed they had stopped havin sex but he could not just blank her cos he she was a true friend.i told him to handle his matter cos i wasnt ready to play second fiddle to any body.on serval occasions he had always made instance about d girl dat she was very hardworking and submissive dat he prays dat she gets a good husband to appricate her since he could not get married to her because of sometin,(which he didnot mention).what really broke d carmels back was dat we had an appiontment to c on thursday i called him dat i was coming to his place he told me to hold on cos the girl in question was visiting,(this was the third time it was happening)dat really pissed me off so i went there.i actually meet them at d parlour,i hailed d girl and turned to my boyfriend to ask y did he have to stand me up.we had an argument then he told me to leave .i angryly left him.he later called and was angry dat i himulated him in front of his guest.i send an apology text to him and even apologized on face book but now he is refusing to pick my calls or answer me.God i am really hurting now.pls advice me cos i dont know what to do.should l just blank him or continue beggin till he softens up.my fear is dat he doesnt intend to break up d relationship with dat girl and he intends dating d two of us and maybe drop one later on and funny enough he refuses to use a condom on me claimin dat if i get pregant be4 our weding he would be d happiest man on earth.pls i need mature advice on how to handle this cos i am really hurting.i know my words were to hard but i was hurting.i thought i had reached my last bus stop.

I'm sorry ure hurting but to tEll u d truth u madE a huge mistakE. If thE guy was considEring marriagE he would definatly think again cos he will think u can disgrace him in front of anyonE n ur unconterolabl anger would b a bad infleunce on ed kids u might hav in future.

when ur angry try not to say things u will b sorry for later.

Furthrmore y r u begging for a guy who gave u n std?

If I were him it would come accross as desperate n that's sooo unatractive.

Just give him tym n stop bombarding him wit messages, if he rilli loves u he will come back, if he doesn't, he is not the one for u. Shikena!

OP
You sound desperate, honestly. A divorcee (God alone knows why his wife left him. It could be because of the girl in queston) with a steady girlfriend is using you for his carnal satisfaction and you play along ! He has an STD and you still agree to be used unprotected expecting to get pregnant and make his fantasy come true! Can't you see that he is just fooling around with you? When he had to make a choice between the girl and you, right in his house, he chose the girl (he has done that twice or thrice and you still went ahead only to show off your bad temper and get humiliated). If you ever get him to marry you, you are sure to come back whining he is cheating on you. If you do have a problem in being a mistress, leave this man and his wahala behind and move on. If you don't, then beg and turn yourself into a doormat till he decides to forgive(?) you.

opps dat really hurt.i didnt really c thing dat way i just choose to believe him when he said he was not sleeping with the girl again. although i never really fell 4 pregancy gist .thanks 4 giving this advice.

@ Suggary

Sorry if I was too harsh. But from a third person's perspective, that is how I felt. No man who wants to fool around will come and say I need some fun, care to join ? They would come up with some c**k and bull story. This man sounds really shrewd. He went ahead to discuss other girl so that you dont suspect his intentions. Well, what has happened has happened. Please forget him and move on. Break ups can be really hard. Try to focuss more on friends, your job/studies and god will bring along that one guy who has been created for you and you alone. No sharing business there, ok??

Yes!!! You made a big mistake by rely on him when he said that they stopped to sleep together. You had to confirm it anyways. For now I would like to advice that you should meet both one at a time. First you should meet the girls and ask for a solutions and you will be able to guess what the man want finally. Now after that meet the man and ask for what to do now.

All things will be alright finally because time never ends and it will do all things right after some time.

.

@ chair cover and smilenw thanks a lot.your contributions have given me d courage to move on.i guess i made d mistake of trusting to easy.thank God there would be work on monday so i would keep my self busy.thanks

.

which kain yeye ''I know my words were too hard bla bla bla''.

Now wait a min, You are begging him, seriously you are begging him? After he infected you with STD and dis respected you by getting another gurl involved? You begged a divorcee whose wife might have left him 'cos of his cheating habits? You are sleeping with a man without a condom believing in this age and time his tales of marrying you or you making him the happiest man by getting preggers b4 marriage, a man that has not since you people or paid your bride price? Even with the STD episode, you were still sleeping-with him?

Are you kidding me?

suggary:

@ chair cover and smilenw thanks a lot.your contributions have given me d courage to move on.i guess i made d mistake of trusting to easy.thank God [b]there would be work on monday so i would keep my self bus[/b]y.thanks

what happens next weekend?You start missing him,apologizing on social sites and go over for another round of unprotected sex iced with std's  
You need to work on your self,buy some self respect and esteem,upgrade yourself.
Dude is taking you for a ride,wake up please.

Hmmm, Some people r still being intimate with someone they're not married to in this year and age?!! R u sure d guy is not HIV positive? Do u know why his wife divorced him? Do u know why he doesn't want 2 marry the girl in question despite his respect 4 her? And he even gave u an std? Better run for ur life,unless u want to catch HIV.

Please go and beg the man. Your hapiness is at stake.
This place is full of lesbians, who can't stand to see a woman do what it takes to keep her man.

suggary:

I started dating a divorcee two months ago,along d line he told me he had a girlfriend who he could not abadon cos she stood by him when his wife left him.he claimed they had stopped havin sex but he could not just blank her cos he she was a true friend.i told him to handle his matter cos i wasnt ready to play second fiddle to any body.on serval occasions he had always made instance about d girl dat she was very hardworking and submissive dat he prays dat she gets a good husband to appricate her since he could not get married to her because of sometin,(which he didnot mention).what really broke d carmels back was dat we had an appiontment to c on thursday i called him dat i was coming to his place he told me to hold on cos the girl in question was visiting,(this was the third time it was happening)dat really pissed me off so i went there.i actually meet them at d parlour,i hailed d girl and turned to my boyfriend to ask y did he have to stand me up.we had an argument then he told me to leave his house.i was hurt.i replied dat i know were he got d infection i am currently treating(i discovered he infected me with an s.t.d d frist time we Were Intimate).i angryly left him.he later called and was angry dat i himulated him in front of his guest.i send an apology text to him and even apologized on face book but now he is refusing to pick my calls or answer me.God i am really hurting now.pls advice me cos i dont know what to do.should l just blank him or continue beggin till he softens up.my fear is dat he doesnt intend to break up d relationship with dat girl and he intends dating d two of us and maybe drop one later on and funny enough he refuses to use a condom on me claimin dat if i get pregant be4 our weding he would be d happiest man on earth.pls i need mature advice on how to handle this cos i am really hurting.i know my words were to hard but i was hurting.i thought i had reached my last bus stop.

My dear,
This is the last place you want to come to for advise,this place is populated by women in self denial-What would all the people advising you do if they were in your shoes?They would beg the guy on their knees(and you know this is true)
This man is your guy and if you like and love him don't be too proud to beg.Real African men love submissive women and the first stage to conquering your rival is to submit, the second part is to learn to cook him good homely meals,the third part is good s.ex.
Yeah,the guy infected you with an STD(sorry),but sit down with him and talk about how he has hurt you,then both of you need to check with a doctor to get yourselves treated.
Learn to talk to your man,it is the secret to his heart,men are more likely to listen to gentle discussion than a full blown rowdy arguement.
Look,you know you love this guy,Just follow your heart.Do the right thing that your heart tells you.
Goodluck!!!

chaircover:

@poster go to the hairdressers and make your hair nice put on your best dress, apply your Mary Kay or whatever and go to the photo studio and take a full length picture make copies and and place them round your house.

Each time you see the picture tell yourself that you are a beautiful woman and that you deserve the best; and not someone elses left over crumbs that fell off the table.

This man is having his cake and eating it while you are selling yourself short. Give me one good reason why you should do this to yourself. . . . . .absolutely none. Do yourself a favour and work on your self esteem. No man is worth dying for and that is the honest truth.

Stop begging him and move on with your life. Yes many kiss frogs before meeting the prince, but you only get to kiss a prince if you are ready to move on from the frogs. . . . frogs have bad breath anyway 

You owe yourself better.

Chaircover= Chairwisdom

OP follow CC advise no body is worth dying for, this divorcee is worse than a casanorva, how old are you?
Donot miss the bus it is getting filled up, ignore that time waster and go out in a smashing way and let men find you.
They will not ruin your life o

suggary,
You don't care to know why he can't marry the other lady, has it ever occurred to you that he could be abstaining from s.ex with the so-called lady for her to get treated and cleaned-up for their future together while he decongests his diseased system in you?.
You appeared too gullible and allowed your assumption of reaching the last bus stop to becloud your sense of reasoning.
Sorry, I mean no insults but the truth that is.

When a man hides you from another woman but discusses the same woman with you, do you think that man has regards for you and your feelings?. The man is using you as a test sample for his potency. But, girl, you're damn too careless!!!!.
Looking for advice?. Use your head. The man has been using it for you.

Johndoe/Richvkunt
Will you sincerely advise your sisters to do same?. The love is one-sided if I may say, so it's not worth the risks.

^^^
Madam,please read my post very well.
That is my honest advise that I would give to any female.

Someone infected OP with an std and she's still asking senseless questions. If u can't getta life, at least use the little common sense that you have.

The other girl is his babe he probabaly tells her you are disturbing him, you love him and cant leave him alone so he tolerates you and then he tells you another story about her pls drop him. To add salt to an open wound he gave you STD obviously he is sleeping with her and maybe some other gals. He is playing you.

This is obviously a joke.

^^Lol Stay diaaa. You don't know how silly a lot of women can be. Infact I refused to view the thread after my last reply. The kain High Blood pressure wey hook me when I read the OP's post the first time, I was like WTF?

For this present age and time? year 2011? Unbefu[i]c[/i]kinglievable.

Richvkunt:

My dear,
This is the last place you want to come to for advise,this place is populated by women in self denial-What would all the people advising you do if they were in your shoes?They would beg the guy on their knees(and you know this is true)
This man is your guy and if you like and love him don't be too proud to beg.Real African men love submissive women and the first stage to conquering your rival is to submit, the second part is to learn to cook him good homely meals,the third part is good s.ex.
Yeah,the guy infected you with an STD(sorry),but sit down with him and talk about how he has hurt you,then both of you need to check with a doctor to get yourselves treated.
Learn to talk to your man,it is the secret to his heart,men are more likely to listen to gentle discussion than a full blown rowdy arguement.
Look,you know you love this guy,Just follow your heart.Do the right thing that your heart tells you.
Goodluck!!!

LOL You are such a clown I couldn't help laughing when reading your response (no offence meant). You are on point about certain things though, but serioulsy Rich this relationship is only two months old, it is is not the sort of relationship where a partner should do some of the things mentioned above. Like begging for forgiveness when clearly 80% of the wrong belongs to the other party

Infecting a partner with STD within a shortwhile of meeting them is just so crass, am sure that fellow knew he had the disease, haba the least he could have done was to protect the lady or treated himself properly before engaging her in unprotected sex on the other hand she shouldn't have allowed it within a short time of dating this guy.

Lets not jumpm into conclusions that the man is no good, we have not heard all sides of the story. Lets not discount the mans somewaht honesty, after all he did admit to you that there was someome else. That said poster really needs to decide what she wants out of a relationship, the fact that the man is a divorcee does not necessarily mean he is disaster

OP, COntact me,

I dont mind a woman who can play side and doesnt complain, Me I wont let you meet the other woman, I play clean

madoba:


LOL You are such a clown I couldn't help laughing when reading your response (no offence meant). You are on point about certain things though, but serioulsy Rich this relationship is only two months old, it is is not the sort of relationship where a partner should do some of the things mentioned above. Like begging for forgiveness when clearly 80% of the wrong belongs to the other party

Infecting a partner with STD within a shortwhile of meeting them is just so crass, am sure that fellow knew he had the disease, haba the least he could have done was to protect the lady or treated himself properly before engaging her in unprotected sex on the other hand she shouldn't have allowed it within a short time of dating this guy.

Okay,I am a clown!
She has slept with him under two months.
She has been infected with an STD.
She has been begging the guy not to drop her.
The guy is a divorcee.
The guy has another woman!

Now ask yourself WHO is the bigger CLOWN?

@ madoba: I believe that Rich is exploring the use of sarcasm.

I think the guy want to be playing on your intelligent by keeping both of you for his own satisfaction. Thank God he has not infected you with HIV. I think you have to meet this other girl, intimate with her to know the level of relationship she has with the man, this will help you to know where you stand. I'm still curious why he is still keeping this other girl with the intention of not marrying her and keeping at a distance.

@Poster
Nne you should be more concerned with getting a cure for the freaking STD the selfish Dude gave you and stop swooning over him for goodness sake. He has STD and I am not hearing about you guys getting a cure for yourselves instead pregnancy and having a child is more important to him in his STD ridden state.

Have mercy on yourself and run go get a cure because dude is playing games with you and with that STD he gave you he is also blurring your future for you. I will advice that you don't sleep with him again and that you keep your heart open because you can meet better caring persons than him.

You said that he is a divorcee how divorced is he or was he giving all ya ladies stories while married and just looking for fun? Gather yourself together dear, work hard at whatever you are doing and be making a good life for yourself. Your Mr. Right will come when he will come, don't allow friends, family and society pressure you into settling for any dirty thing/STD infested, selfish and cunning thing that comes around you.  Hurry to the doctor and cure yourself fast, what are you going to tell Mr. Right if he arrives soon and starts planning to marry you.

U deserve better. Just run for ur life. There is a better and a good guy out there for u.