Eeyah,

Dear TsiTsi,


“Without history, we are at the mercy of our whims; no hope for the future is unrelated to history.”
~ Selwyn Hughes

“Stories are not just meant to make us smile; our lives depend on them"
~ Chinua Achebe


My father once told me, “my son, we may be poor, but we are not powerless. And we may be in distress, but we are not hopeless.”
His words echoed in my head. He always believed that things would be better, even when the doctor said he would not survive. My father taught me the words to overcome the agonies of life. He would recite his sayings to the sound of his Mbira, like the flute playing Unoka, Okonkwo’s father in Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart. He would be plucking and stroking the 28 metal keys on the gwariva with his big thumbs and forefingers and tapping the deze whilst singing and yodeling the praise of my mother as she cooked our meals. He was the Kushaura of the Mbira players in our village But my father did not live on his Mbira. He built huts for farmers and he loved words. He even showed me sheets of white paper on which he had copied the poems of William Blake. He said words could change a man’s life for the best or for the worst.
My father was a wise man.

Dear TsiTsi,

I couldn't go to work this morning.
I met my employer at home. She had a black eye.
She told me how her husband beat her up at midnight when she refused to let him make love to her, because she was tired. And when he found out that she told me, he was furious. He locked us inside their bedroom and said I must make love to her since he suspected that she would have preferred me to make love to her. I was shocked!
I wanted to fight him, but I was scared, because he has Black Belt in Karate and I have none. Then to make things worse, he has abandoned her and left for the US after 14 years of marriage. I am afraid that he has abandoned his wife for me.

My employer is now heart broken and she is no longer at ease, because things have fallen apart.

Deat TsiTsi,

You won't believe these humans!

My brother-in-law gave my sister a brad new car this evening!
He beat her up last week and now gave her a new car this week.

I am amused.
I told her to accept it gratefully.
But the gift of a car is not an apology for molesting your wife.
Repentance is better than sacrifice.

Dear TsiTsi,
Guess what?

I have confirmed my hypothesis on humans.
That they are quick to find faults in others and react to insults than to admit their own faults and mistakes.

Are these humans not funny creatures?

I will keep you informed as I discover more characteristics of these funny creatures and their fringe elements.

I have to tell you that my African Beauty blog is the #1 on Google rankings today!
TsiTsi, we have to thank God that as we continue to spread our wings wider, we continue to fly higher above them.

Good night.

Dear TsiTsi,

I have to tell you this.
My sister told me that her husband has collected the keys to the new car he bought for her.
Why?
He said beating her was not enough.
That he would crush her the next time she provoked him.
He said my sister can go and report to the pastors or even other ministers of God she always reported him to.


TsiTsi, I am afraid to say this. But I think my brother-in-law has a death wish.
I am feeling sorry for him.

Orikinla, now i must ask , who is this Tsitsi?, cos it seems its an imagery

TsiTsi is the first name of the first female novelist from Zimbabwe.
I have decided to address these true life occurrences to her, because I believe she understands the nervous conditions of humans as they go through their good and bad experiences of life.

I am telling TsiTsi everything happening in my life and other lives I know in my community and the rest of the world.

The actual diary is over 15 pages so far and I am still updating it before the publication.

Thank you for reading.

Dear TsiTsi,

You know it is possible to have a love affair with mad woman without any knowledge of her madness until she begins to show the signs.

I am afraid of falling in love with a mad woman.

But, let me share what has made Google one of the biggest success stories of all time.

The following are from the 10 Commandments of Google.

6. You can make money without doing evil.

7. There's always more information out there.

8. The need for information crosses all borders.

9. You can be serious without a suit.

Google says if we give the proper tools to a anyone who wants to make a difference, that the person will make a great difference.

OMG OOOOOOOOOO!!! roflllllll

Orikinla, r u sure u are ok? Well, dis is how it start. My broda pls take it easy

fuzek:

OMG OOOOOOOOOO!!! roflllllll

Orikinla, r u sure u are ok? Well, this is how it start. My brother please take it easy

Fuzek,
I am perfectly fine.

This a literary device that is working well for me.

I am only updating it.

Go and read Ian Mcewan's Atonement or Isdore Okpewo's Last Duty.

This is just my stream of consciousness.

Dear TsiTsi,

I did not go to church today. But I heard that there was bad news from the pulpit.
Armed robbers killed a member of the church. The minister said the deceased was Bennett, who was a devoted member of our Assemblies of God Church in Finima on Bonny Island. 
Eyewitnesses said the armed robbers in a high-speed boat attacked their passenger boat and robbed them. But Benneth recognized one of the armed robbers and they shot and killed him with two other Igbo passengers to prevent them from disclosing their identities to the police.
The congregation still sang praises to God, and prayed for divine intervention. Because, only God can save us.

I also read online that a Dutch man was shot and killed infront of his house in the besieged capital city of Port Harcourt last Sunday. The police said the killers left a note on his corpse, saying that, they gave him $50,000 to import cars from Europe but that he had neither returned the money nor supplied the cars. Well, the dead man would never rise up to accept or deny the allegation.

As I always say, TsiTsi.
Life goes on.

Dear TsiTsi,

Thank God it's Friday!

I hope you are fine?

The sunshine is brighter today on Bonny Island and I am very happy.

I have been on the mountain since sunrise and I will not come down until after the sunset.
I am having a sacred communion with my one and only Father. We are one.

The debtors in New York are still owing me. And they have been owing me since last March. And I have to pray for them again this morning.
God has already given them the grace and wherewithal to pay the hundreds of thousands of naira they are owing me. And they are only wasting their own precious time as they continue to delay it. Because, God knows they can pay me even this weekend.

The Holy Bible said rebellion is as witchcraft and then said, we should not spare a witch to live.
Not all witches fly on broomsticks in the night. Many witches and wizards go about among humans on the street in the broad daylight. In fact, witches even go to church and hide their evils behind the masks of falsehood. But I don't think the Nigerian debtors in New York are that evil.
God forbid.
I pray for them, because I love them.
The taller one is like Alek Wek.
A true African beauty and her long legs will take her higher up the ladder of fame and fortune. But she must learn how to be glad and grateful to God for sending me into her life.
I treated her like a princess inside our Ark in Surulere when she came on a working visit to Lagos. And I sowed an offering in our church to ask the Almighty God to bless her entertainment projects. So, God already knows I want the best for her progress and success. So, she has no excuses for any act of ingratitude.
But Nigerians will be Nigerians everywhere, no matter their locations.
Even if you find Nigerians on the moon, you will sooner or later tell them apart from the others once they show you their true colours.
Yet God loves all His children and Nigerians are not bastards.

TsiTsi,
The US Army jacket and bag sent to me from America never reached me. And the other gifts Talana also sent to my sister have not reached her. And she sent them months ago!
The mail rats must have stolen them at the ports in Nigeria.
I am really upset that humans can be so heartless and careless about the welfare of their fellow humans.
I don't like crooks and rogues and debtors.
Because, they are the enemies of our progress and the enemies of progress can scuttle your success.

I called my pastor this morning. I thanked him for all his prayers. I reminded him of our Night of Uncommon Grace at the Trinity Tabernacle Parish of the RCCG in Ikeja, GRA.
The vigil of the glorious Friday of August 29, 2003, was awesome. The Night of Uncommon Grace lifted me higher the following day as our prayers ended at 5.30 am on Saturday, August 30, 2003.
I thanked God that I did not miss it.
TsiTsi, the Almighty God is awesome in His beautiful and wonderful doings in my life.

Dear TsiTsi,

Good afternoon.

How was your weekend?
I always prayed for the best things in life for you.
You know how much I love you.

I have been very busy lately.
The much awaited collection of my best short stories and another book of my best articles and features on political, social and psychophysical issues of existential realities must be sent to my chosen editor at the University of Lagos before the end of this month. Because, the two books should be released before the end of this year.

I was the first online journalist to break the good news of our Golden Eaglets spectacular victory in the FIFA Under-17 World Cup Final match last Sunday in Seoul, South Korea. I reported it live and was excited to break the news as our junior national team overwhelmed the Spanish Under-17 national team by penalties after playing for 120 minutes without any goal. Our dazzling boys scored all their three spot kicks, but the unlucky Spanish boys lost their own spot kicks. Finis! And we won! This is the third time we are lifting the FIFA Under- 17 World Cup!
Nigerians are still celebrating this historic victory.

TsiTsi, guess what?
My brother-in-law has regained his sanity.
My sister said they kissed and reconciled before he left for Las Vegas.
Good for him. And he returned the key of the new car he bought for her. She took the car to church last Sunday to thank God for His new gift.
I am happy for them.
I just want these humans to be happy and to be at peace always. Because, I hate their problems and troubles.

TsiTsi, why are these black humans different from the white ones?
These black humans will beg and drag you to work for them, but they find it difficult to pay you. You have to harass and embarrass them to pay you. The white humans I worked for never owed me for a single day. The white humans have always been better employers than the black ones.

God will help us all.

My darling Linda called me this morning. She has a great idea to publish a supplementary magazine of her popular blog. I told her to do it. Whatever she touches turns to gold. She is blessed with the Midas Touch. The second edition of her all glossy fashion, modeling and beauty (FM&B) magazine will soon be out and Virgin Nigeria has included it as one of their in-flight magazines. She has already started the production of her TV Show at Philip Trimnnel's studios in Surulere, Lagos.
She is just ahead of her peers in Nigeria. And she is so chic!
We have been together for 10 years now and our union is stronger than ever.
Now, you see why I love her!
I will do my best for her.
She is my boo
And I love her so
She is so fine
And she is my sunshine.

God will always lift us higher and higher for the glory of His Holy name.

TsiTsi, take care always.