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Why Its Hard To Make New Close Friends As We Age… - Family - Nairaland

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Why Its Hard To Make New Close Friends As We Age… by fineboynl(m): 4:08pm On Nov 28, 2022
As time goes on we all will notice we keep loosing our close friends due to age, career path and interest base. We no longer share things in common as we have outgrown our differences. Others might want to marry while others don’t feel the need. And before you knows it your childhood friends and close friends have shrink or cut to size if not completely. It even get worse when we change location. The truth is making new close friends is too hard. Adult don’t just make close friends like thats except the person is really very social. For someone that is very reserved, difficult in trusting people or introvert is not so easy.

You can make new friends but it ends at where you know them. Not close like going to see each other or hanging out.

The only people i can go and greet at home or we go out together are still my childhood friends. I haven’t been able to make a new friends that we can go each other house to greet, calling each other even when you have nothing important to say only just how far na. E done tail oh.

It’s difficult men as i have lost all my friends due to the fact people change when they see money. All the friends that live under me when i was carrying load thinking i was doing the right thing helping them. But they all changed with small thing sure for them.

This act has make it difficult for me to make close friends. I see it as useless and not worth it.

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Re: Why Its Hard To Make New Close Friends As We Age… by JoshB92: 4:22pm On Nov 28, 2022
If you are social and friendly you will make friends at all stages of life.... In addition have money
Re: Why Its Hard To Make New Close Friends As We Age… by doggedfighter(f): 4:29pm On Nov 28, 2022
Re: Why Its Hard To Make New Close Friends As We Age… by etrange: 4:53pm On Nov 28, 2022
You're right, brother. For many reasons, it's easier to make friends while growing up. Such friends are always closer. And while some last for life, others eventually grow in different directions. This leaves us with the challenge of making new friends as adults.

Friends you make as a lad are like family members. They're not necessarily better than other people you're meeting as an adult, but because you are confined in the same space with them for long (school, compound, etc.), you get so accustomed to thier excesses and make room for thier shortcomings; they do the same for you. This is why we say things like "so-so person has his issues, but when you get to know him, you'd see he's a nice person". The truth is, the person may not actually be a very nice person, he may even be the neighborhood terror agent. However, we met them at time we did not have the mindset to judge or at a time before they even developed whatever bad attitude they might have. We've known them long enough to create good memories that over-shadow thier bad sides.

Now as an adult, we want friends but we don't have the time to build friendships. We're not confined in any space with anyone especially now that we work from home. Common interests are not so common anymore. We have knotted principles and personal convictions. And even without thinking about it, we use these principles to judge others as soon as we meet them. We have a mental picture of the kind of people we want to have as friends, but we're always suspicious of other people's intentions. We worry they'd judge us the way we judge others or just use us as a means to a goal. Therefore, we are always quick to cut them off even when they do things not as bad as what a brother or a childhood friend would do. We live in a world of "IDGF", "I can do it alone", "I don't need anyone", etc., and nobody wants to appear weak. So we put up this image of contention while we die of loneliness inside.

As an adult, especially when you move to a new location, you must acknowledge the fact that friendship mustn't always happen by accident. Sometimes, you need to approach it intentionally and with the proper mindset but without desperation. You might get burned once or twice, but at the end, if you're able to make one or two friends you could relate with, it'll be worth it.

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Re: Why Its Hard To Make New Close Friends As We Age… by Mrmakaveli200: 9:25pm On Nov 28, 2022
True talk. I don't think I've made any new friend in the last couple of years. Its still the old ones. And we don't even see as much.

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Re: Why Its Hard To Make New Close Friends As We Age… by ChybuzzDD(m): 5:42am On Nov 29, 2022
JoshB92:
If you are social and friendly you will make friends at all stages of life.... In addition have money

These nairaland kids self!
Have you ever seen anyone who has money and made a new, close(reliable, genuine) friend?
When you make money, you will have colleagues, partners, associates, errand boys, hailers, etc, but these won't be your close friends in reality, compared to your childhood friends.
Majority of these new ones will be there just for what they will get from you, their business interests, and as secret competitors.
The op is right, man

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Re: Why Its Hard To Make New Close Friends As We Age… by JoshB92: 9:22pm On Dec 23, 2022
ChybuzzDD:


Calm down naira land parent
You can see there was lot of dots before I typed "have money"

These nairaland kids self!
Have you ever seen anyone who has money and made a new, close(reliable, genuine) friend?
When you make money, you will have colleagues, partners, associates, errand boys, hailers, etc, but these won't be your close friends in reality, compared to your childhood friends.
Majority of these new ones will be there just for what they will get from you, their business interests, and as secret competitors.
The op is right, man
Re: Why Its Hard To Make New Close Friends As We Age… by AndroidAI(m): 10:36pm On Dec 23, 2022
The reason I don't have much friends is because it's incredibly hard finding someone that resonant in the same frequency. They are either too dumb, too poor, or physically repulsive. I'd rather enjoy my solitude in peace than associate with garbages. I have learned to be a lone wolf, and it has served me well in life. After all, we will all die alone!!
Re: Why Its Hard To Make New Close Friends As We Age… by pansophist(m): 3:41pm On Dec 24, 2022
When you are young, your personality has not been fully formed. You are fluid and just anyone alive can be your friend just after a few conversations. From childhood, all your friends would be what I call ''situational friends''. You were friends because you went to the same school, or church, live in the same neighborhood, or come from the same village.

As you grow older, your personality will develop, and the fluidity of youthfulness will fade off, making you selective in friendship because you realize that true friendship is work. Also, you grow some wall around you that you might not be conscious of, but others see it, and for that, they can't break in and be your friend.

Also, you will pass through the phase of disappointment and backstabbing by friends, which makes you recoil and not want to open up a lot to people. And because you know how many people you call friends ain't reliable when you needed their help, you just prefer not to make effort. So there you go, this is a phase of adulthood. Welcome.

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