Good morning house. I need your opinion on this issue.
Around May last year, my husband and I went with my 4 year old daughter to visit my sister in-law (hubby's elder sister). They insisted they wanted her to stay some days with them, that I should return for her in two or three days time. After much persuasion from my oga, I left her. But my heart wasn't settled because I've never stayed away from her for that long.
I just noticed that when we called her on video call the very next morning, she looked and sounded depressed, telling us to come take her home. I just thought she was missing me.
I returned the next three days to pick her up. It was even the oldest cousin, a 15 year old girl, who was actually very fond of my daughter that helped me carry her on her back and saw us off to the bustop.
Two or 3 months later, at the end of a Bible study I had with her, my baby said she wanted to tell me something. Hubby was lying on the couch. My baby said the period I took her to that house, the 15 year old girl was always sucking her vagina. My brain shut down immediately. Her dad jumped from the couch and told her to repeat what she just said. She did. She also said that the girl usually holds her mouth close during the act, and that she beats the girl on the head to stop what she was doing, but the girl refused and beat my daughter back.
I broke down. Hubby had never become so mad at his family to the extent of turning his back on them, to the extent of shutting his dad up, but he did all these because his only child was involved.
The family, they all said my daughter was lying. My question is: can a four year old lie about such? The nature of this supposed lie. I don't think so. But all the family members said my daughter lied. And even the girl denied it.
They are totally refusing to address this. They even after some weeks have codedly believe such happened and have called my husband to beg, hubby said so, I don't know if it's true or not. But me the wife, NOBODY, I REPEAT, NOBODY CALLED ME. Like I am nothing in their eyes. Not even the evil mother that insisted my daughter spent some days with them. It's not like if they called me to apologize it would change the past, no, but I might have some tiny relief.
My daughter talks about that experience till date. Even up till yesterday. I am beyond heartbroken. I can't forgive.
The family all turned their face away. Nobody cared to address it, even his parents. I'm thinking of going to their church to expose her because I hear the 15 year old girl is getting baptized next week. Hubby told me to forget about it, his brother told me not to try it. But anytime my daughter remembers this incident and brings it up, I become very disturbed. I don't know what to do. Please advise me.

1) Your daughter definitely was NOT lying.
2) She was traumatized by it and may have PTSD
3) Someone has to help her process it
4) The 15 year old was probably also molested as a child
5) She has to admit what she did and where she learnt it from
6) Since she's a minor, the important thing is to make sure she doesn't do it to another child
7) I know you want revenge, but taking it beyond the family won't solve anything

I'm in a state of namby-pamby just like you!

However, since your husband said you should 4get about it, I honestly think you should. Because, the more you think about it, the more it drives you crazy. As for your baby, I think you should visit a therapist to get a clue of how you can help help her 4get about what happened and most importantly, pray to God so he can help you wipe the memory off from her totally. it's possible because she's still tender.

That 15 year old girl is into pornography never leave your daughter unsupervised for long demons are everywhere.

You have every right to be livid but on another hand you need to understand there is hardly a child that doesn't have those stories, be it papa and mama play... Husband and wife play and all other silly things that kids let thier curious minds concoct.

You are lucky to have the information and your duty is to make sure it never happens again. Trying to fight will not bring you anything useful besides being "right" but it will inturn pit you against a lot of enemies.


And going to loud it in thier church will do you more harm than good... Just let it go but never give a chance for it to ever happen again.

That's my perspective tho

This is a traumatic experience for your daughter. You should thank God that she even mentioned it to you.

Why other members of the family do not believe it is another mystery.

There's is no doubt that the 15 year old had also been molested.

Please take your husband's advice not to take the case to the church.

What you need is to get help for your daughter.

Take her to see a professional child Counsellor.

Meanwhile, you may also need professional help to process your emotions. In fact, I would recommend family therapy because your husband also needs help.

Please get help as soon as possible.

You can contact me for guidance.

PoliteActivist:
1) Your daughter definitely was NOT lying.
2) She was traumatized by it and may have PTSD
3) Someone has to help her process it
4) The 15 year old was probably also molested as a child
5) She has to admit what she did and where she learnt it from
6) Since she's a minor, the important thing is to make sure she doesn't do it to another child
7) I know you want revenge, but taking it beyond the family won't solve anything

so u have definitely believed the 4yr old wasnt lying？Commonsense should tell u either of both parties could be lying.
have u also bothered to ask why it took the little girl that long to confess to her mother if she is telling the truth

So you wanna fight a 15yrs in church? Smh wetin make you belive your pikin no fit lie na the same thing wey make the 15yr girl parent sef belive their pikin no fit lie.....so die the matter biko

seborrhic:

so u have definitely believed the 4yr old wasnt lying？Commonsense should tell u either of both parties could be lying.
have u also bothered to ask why it took the little girl that long to confess to her mother if she is telling the truth

Which long? What do a 4 years old girl know? I totally believe that kid

seborrhic:

so u have definitely believed the 4yr old wasnt lying？Commonsense should tell u either of both parties could be lying.
have u also bothered to ask why it took the little girl that long to confess to her mother if she is telling the truth

Don't look at the 4 year old, look at the mother. NO 4yr old can deceive her mother for long. She'd either forget what she said b4 or her mother already knew she made up things

seborrhic:

so u have definitely believed the 4yr old wasnt lying？Commonsense should tell u either of both parties could be lying.
have u also bothered to ask why it took the little girl that long to confess to her mother if she is telling the truth

wtf
The little girl said the 15yr old beat her and have her mouth covered
It was after sunday school she confessed probably the topic they teach in the kids sunday school made her man-up and confessed
Raping/molesting victims os traumatizing
Why would a 4yrs old lie
You are so full of clout you can’t even differentiate when someone is lying and when someone is speaking the truth
Man fix up

SubPlot:
OP, your narrative is heartbreaking.
Please, you & your spouse must stand on the same page & address this matter in the best interest of your child & also help the 15 years old girl to break the cycle of repeated abuse of other toddlers or young children.

The Ministry of Social Welfare/Women Affairs in your place of residence can refer you to appropriate Counseling Services or Civil Society Organisations who assist victims of abuse.

You need professional Counseling to help your child heal the trauma.
Also, that 15 year old was highly likely abused, she also needs Professional Counseling & Therapy to readjust her psyche & receive healing from abuse.

Also, please be vigilant and alert, for checkmate any ugly scenario in future.

You can find helpful info/videos on JWs website.

hmmm are you a Jehovah's witness?

Spanishmilf:
wtf
The little girl said the 15yr old beat her and have her mouth covered
It was after sunday school she confessed probably the topic they teach in the kids sunday school made her man-up and confessed
Raping/molesting victims os traumatizing
Why would a 4yrs old lie
You are so full of clout you can’t even differentiate when someone is lying and when someone is speaking the truth
Man fix up

So they were teaching them sexuality issues in sunday school,as per how it is wrong for a girl to suck her fellow girl,in sunday school and it was then she knew what was done to her was wrong
Left to your type,which hopefully there are very little of,all shouts of thief,thief,should be followed by burning of the person running,then ask questions after the burning

seborrhic:

So they were teaching them sexuality issues in sunday school,as per how it is wrong for a girl to suck her fellow girl,in sunday school and it was then she knew what was done to her was wrong
Left to your type,which hopefully there are very little of,all shouts of thief,thief,should be followed by burning of the person being running,then ask questions after the burning

not Sunday school. I was actually studying the Bible with her. Adam and Eve story. Totally neutral topic from the issue at hand. It was after the study she said she wanted to tell me something. Which she did. I felt like God chose that time to expose the culprit, because she and her family were already planning to come take my daughter to spend the August/September holidays with them.

MsJackson:
not Sunday school. I was actually studying the Bible with her. Adam and Eve story. Totally neutral topic from the issue at hand. It was after the study she said she wanted to tell me something. Which she did. I felt like God chose that time to expose the culprit, because she and her family were already planning to come take my daughter to spend the August/September holidays with them.

why are you responding to him/her
Na their type be rape apologist while slut shaming the victim
I saw a thread on twitter which says if majority of nigerian men traveled abroaf most of them would end up in jail. Cos they know nothing of consent

This is the best time your child needs you the most so she won’t grow up to be traumatized by this or she might grow up to also do the same to a minor. This is really crazy ngl

MsJackson:
not Sunday school. I was actually studying the Bible with her. Adam and Eve story. Totally neutral topic from the issue at hand. It was after the study she said she wanted to tell me something. Which she did. I felt like God chose that time to expose the culprit, because she and her family were already planning to come take my daughter to spend the August/September holidays with them.

Im so sorry about your experience. it broke me, i have young ones about your daughter's age and i practically showed them this story this night. i used it to teach them to be more careful. pls my sister, i sent you a mail. kindly respond. I would like to ask you about something. thanks

bukhety:
Im so sorry about your experience. it broke me, i have young ones about your daughter's age and i practically showed them this story this night. i used it to teach them to be more careful. pls my sister, i sent you a mail. kindly respond. I would like to ask you about something. thanks

I'm not able to access my mail, I don't know why.

MsJackson:
I'm not able to access my mail, I don't know why.

Ok, i will ask u on a dead thread. thanks

They would say she is lying lots of families cover up their children misdeeds especially now that is even an inlaw matter.

Ensure your child NEVER spends anytime in their place without your presence.