Hello Lively Stones,

Please I need help on this issue. For some time, my husband and I were having marital issues. I cant recall when it started but I realized that my husband’s people wanted to control my home. They were always coming to live with us from when we got married. They would stay for ling without minding the inconvenience, we were just starting life, so things were not easy for us. Yet, these people were controlling my husband and what happens in my home.

Despite my in-laws overtaking my husband and my marriage, they did not want to set eyes on my own family members. My in-laws told my husband that any of my family members that wanted to come stay with us must inform him and when they do, my husband will say, no…that the house is full. I was really disrespected a lot. It felt like I was fighting an unending battle. Everyone kept asking me to be patient ….to be prayerful. I tried…I cried.

To make things worse, they encouraged my husband to cheat. They said I was not a good wife just because I tried to stand my ground on things like, when they enter my matrimonial room to take my soap to bather. Or go to my soup pot or fridge and eat everything before I come back from work….leaving me to start cooking all over when I return from work by 6pm. I was really frustrated. I managed but when it started affecting our s3x life…I broke down.

My husband was cheating with a girl that his sister introduced to him. The sole aim was to get money from him. This girl will pretend to be visiting my sister in-law but when she comes, my husband will go to their room to f*ck her while his sister and siblings will be in the sitting room. Sometimes, they will send me to my room. I cried and asked my husband several times: why did he marry me if he did not love me. He will say he loves me but he is the head of the family and no woman can tell him how to live his life.

This continued until this girl got pregnant for my husband and refused to abort it. She moved into our house and would sit down for me to cook for her. I had enough, I packed my things with my two children and left the house. That was when these people began to show my husband pepper. The new woman of the house showed them shege. They quarreled and fought and they drove her out after some months with her being heavily pregnant.


This woman gave birth and my husband’s family called for a DNA test which revealed the baby was not for my husband. My husband came to beg us to return but I insisted that I will not go back to the house if his family members don’t leave. He agreed, he sent them away and I returned back. Things are gradually returning to normal but I am having a hard time forgiving members of my husband’s family.

Its been about a few years now, they are somehow trying to be friendly and apologize but I have no intention of forgiving. When I remember especially how the sister brought that woman into my house and allowed her brother to have s3x with her right under my nose, all I do is cry and I feel very bitter. My two children are growing and asking for their aunties and uncles cos they are small and have no idea what happened.

My husband and I have been trying to conceive another baby but its not been happening. My second child is four years. My husband said its because I have not forgiven his people and if I don’t forgive them, by allowing them come back, that it will be hard for me to conceive. What does he mean by that? Are these people hold my womb? Are they God? Thank God I have one boy and one girl already but hubby wants one more child …everyday, he will be saying I only conceived when his family was around, that if I keep his family away….I wont conceive.

For me, I rather remain and don’t have any more children if it means his family comes back but hubby is saying he wants one more child or he will have the child outside…that he wants one more child….I am tired of his constant reminder …every time I see my period…hubby will get upset that I did not get pregnant again and he will not talk to me for days. Is this how marriage is supposed to be? I know his family is putting pressure on him…telling him that he should not allow his wife control him…this family eh…they have no regard for wife at all.

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Yesterday, I told him lets go to hospital to find out why I have not conceived yet, but he said no need, that he knows why and its because I am shutting his family out. Why wont I shut them out after what they have done? Who in their right mind will allow such a bunch of people back in their home? I told him that I have forgiven them but I don’t want them in my home….hubby said that is not enough….that I am bearing grudge if I don’t allow them visit or stay. He said my family can come and stay and his family too is allowed. He is only saying this just to appease me…his family is evil.

I am confused….and scared of his family coming back to influence him again. But this delay in conceiving my third child is putting a lot of pressure again on the marriage. The house is tense. We only have s3x when hubby knows I am ovulating. Its like he wants me just because of children. He does not care about my feelings. Some people have advised me to tell hubby that his people can come but I must set the rules and they must not stay more than a week….even that advice is giving me serious fear cos I know these people….I lived with them for six years…give them an inch….they take a mile.

Please advice me on how to go about this.

From Anonymous



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Whaoo, this serious, why will your husband allow is family members to stay with you guys for that long not that they came for visit stay one or two days and they go back to their base madam forgive them anyway but stand your ground on what you want in your marriage, let him choose between you and is family members.

Uju, will you delete this nonsense before I open my eyes,

Or you want me to tell them my own side of the story??