Good day good people of Nairaland, please don't mind my English as I'm not educated to write English to your satisfactions.
I'm married with 3kids, 2 boys and a Girl, we are living happily, it happens that last year I lost my job and since that time, things has not been easy for us. I lost my job immediately I relocated my wife and my kids to my state of work. Which means my wife is not doing anything. Here is the problem I'm having, my wife told me last week that she missed her period. To be sincere I told that with our present condition, we don't kid for now, the most important thing now is for me to get something doing and she will be looking for something to start doing. She said that she must have the baby.
Please what do you think I will do in this situation?
I need your input. I'm open to any questions.
Please Note: I'm not seeking for any financial help, I made some saving during the time I was working just that I don't need extra responsibilities for now. Thanks

Job is good,baby is also good.it just dat, you both want different things

The issue is we find it difficult to feed, so I don't see the reason she will want to keep the baby in our present condition.

donbachi:
Job is good,baby is also good.it just dat, you both want different things

tell her the following:" babe, you know i love you and i love our family.... so i wont say the following lightly. this is the wrong time to have a child and as much as we can always have children in the future, right now with no income and the desperate situation we are in, it would be selfish to have another child when we cant even take care of the ones we already have right now. having another child will destroy our family. lets use our heads and do what is right FOR OUR FAMILY; FOR OUR CHILDREN first. when we get back on our feet and have a better financial situation, we can have 2/3 more kids if you want, but right now we need to focus on getting better before doing things that could break our family. WE CANNOT HAVE ANOTHER CHILD RIGHT NOW, I DONT WANT TO HAVE ANOTHER CHILD RIGHT NOW."

if she still wants to go ahead and have that child, then there is very little you can do (but cry yourself to sleep every night)

MrBrownJay1:
tell her the following:" babe, you know i love you and i love our family.... so i wont say the following lightly. this is the wrong time to have a child and as much as we can always have children in the future, right now with no income and the desperate situation we are in, it would be selfish to have another child when we cant even take care of the ones we already have right now. having another child will destroy our family. lets use our heads and do what is right FOR OUR FAMILY; FOR OUR CHILDREN first. when we get back on our feet and have a better financial situation, we can have 2/3 more kids if you want, but right now we need to focus on getting better before doing things that could break our family. WE CANNOT HAVE ANOTHER CHILD RIGHT NOW, I DONT WANT TO HAVE ANOTHER CHILD RIGHT NOW."

Sounds good....but you cant reason with everybody nau. Person wey know and see situation of things but still peddling 4th pregnancy get special faculty up there.

OP, biko table the matter in another direction. Let her know that you guys will have to start sharing responsibilities in the house. From kids school fees to rent to food....etc. Tell her she would be responsible for the incoming baby and the second child while you would take the first child and the third. Please, stick with your decision and watch family pruning happen. After all, both of you no get job at the moment. Orisirisi!

Newupdatee:
The issue is we find it difficult to feed, so I don't see the reason she will want to keep the baby in our present condition.

You're a man. Go and do daily job. Head to the garage and find a daily Jon you can do. Simple

First of all, have you been on any family planning?? Or you just expect to not have children because you aren’t ready for them

Newupdatee:
The issue is we find it difficult to feed, so I don't see the reason she will want to keep the baby in our present condition.

just fvck drink water and sleep.

sisisioge:
Sounds good....but you cant reason with everybody nau. Person wey know and see situation of things but still peddling 4th pregnancy get special faculty up there.

OP, biko table the matter in another direction. Let her know that you guys will have to start sharing responsibilities in the house. From kids school fees to rent to food....etc. Tell her she would be responsible for the incoming baby and the second child while you would take the first child and the third. Please, stick with your decision and watch family pruning happen. After all, both of you no get job at the moment. Orisirisi!

the problem here is that its very difficult to reason with an already pregnant woman... and if she is dead set on having that child "by any means", then there is very little this man can do but accept it and cry himself to sleep. she already knows they are broke, jobless and still want to add a burden on top their already miserable state, KAI!

Newupdatee:
The issue is we find it difficult to feed, so I don't see the reason she will want to keep the baby in our present condition.

can i ask respectfully:" what were you thinking about when having sex unprotected while you cant even feed the kids you already have?? i understand that konji is a bastard, but didnt you think that a pregnancy at this failed time was a possibility AND equally a nightmare?"

Bro I have enough to feed my present kids and myself okay, I'm not fucking begging you for anything, just that I'm not buoyant enough for extra responsibility.

donbachi:
just fvck drink water and sleep.

With some little side stuff I'm doing, I'm making upto 4k daily but after family spending, I will be left with nothing to save.

Wodu89:



You're a man. Go and do daily job. Head to the garage and find a daily Jon you can do. Simple

We are already on family planning and I just don't understand

PhenomenalMorgan:
First of all, have you been on any family planning?? Or you just expect to not have children because you aren’t ready for them

Newupdatee:
With some little side stuff I'm doing, I'm making upto 4k daily but after family spending, I will be left with nothing to save.

You're not serious. Do people still save in this economy. You didn't know savings was important when you added a kid to three that weren't well.catered.for.


Smh

My 3 kid is 3 years old

Wodu89:



You're not serious. Do people still save in this economy. You didn't know savings was important when you added a kid to three that weren't well.catered.for.


Smh

Newupdatee:
My 3 kid is 3 years old

Listen, boss, many people under this present times don't have 4000 Naira per day. You don't need to save for now, you only need to survive. And this survival means having as much as food stuffs that can sustain the family for one full month before money finished in your hands. If you can do this, you're fine. Just look for a side business that can give you 3000 Naira per day, i.e POS, recharging, driving

And you're good. Stop stooping low to beg, strategize and take actions

Beg as how, I don't need 1naira from anybody here and God knows it okay. So keep your money,I just don't know how to convince my wife that we don't need the child. I've edited my post so for you to understand I don't need any financial assistance

Wodu89:



Listen, boss, many people under this present times don't have 4000 Naira per day. You don't need to save for now, you only need to survive. And this survival means having as much as food stuffs that can sustain the family for one full month before money finished in your hands. If you can do this, you're fine. Just look for a side business that can give you 3000 Naira per day, i.e POS, recharging, driving

And you're good. Stop stooping low to beg, strategize and take actions

Newupdatee:
Beg as how, I don't need 1naira from anybody here and God knows it okay. So keep your money,I just don't know how to convince my wife that we don't need the child. I've edited my post so for you to understand I don't need any financial assistance

Oga. Na we be your father in-law ?

Newupdatee:
Bro I have enough to feed my present kids and myself okay, I'm not fucking begging you for anything, just that I'm not buoyant enough for extra responsibility.

I mean don't allow it worry you.

Newupdatee:
Good day good people of Nairaland, please don't mind my English as I'm not educated to write English to your satisfactions.
I'm married with 3kids, 2 boys and a Girl, we are living happily, it happens that last year I lost my job and since that time, things has not been easy for us. I lost my job immediately I relocated my wife and my kids to my state of work. Which means my wife is not doing anything. Here is the problem I'm having, my wife told me last week that she missed her period. To be sincere I told that with our present condition, we don't kid for now, the most important thing now is for me to get something doing and she will be looking for something to start doing. She said that she must have the baby.
Please what do you think I will do in this situation?
I need your input. I'm open to any questions.
Please Note: I'm not seeking for any financial help, I made some saving during the time I was working just that I don't need extra responsibilities for now. Thanks

Get a good doctor and terminate that pregnancy. It is cruel to bring that poor child into the world to suffer.

More than cruel!

Newupdatee:
Beg as how, I don't need 1naira from anybody here and God knows it okay. So keep your money,I just don't know how to convince my wife that we don't need the child. I've edited my post so for you to understand I don't need any financial assistance

In summary, you want your wife to abort the pregnancy but your wife insists she is not going through any abortion and intends to birth the child.

Just accept the reality that you have a baby on the way, both of you have to triple your hustles. Do make sure after birth, a more effective family planning method is used.

Congratulations in advance, na pikin una wan born, no be life imprisonment una dey enter.

Just give her abortion pills so she can lose the baby

Wodu89:



Oga. Na we be your father in-law ?

When we don't have any good advice to give, it's advisable to keep off and avoid distracting those who have or the seeker of the advice himself.

Inasmuch as I hate to see poverty being recycled, I don't support abortion except when pregnancy poses threat to life.

Please listen to your wife and keep the pregnancy. Do everything you can to secure a job and plan for the baby's arrival.

If you need genuine support at that time, cry out and you may get some helping hands here.

Shalom.

Newupdatee:
Good day good people of Nairaland, please don't mind my English as I'm not educated to write English to your satisfactions.
I'm married with 3kids, 2 boys and a Girl, we are living happily, it happens that last year I lost my job and since that time, things has not been easy for us. I lost my job immediately I relocated my wife and my kids to my state of work. Which means my wife is not doing anything. Here is the problem I'm having, my wife told me last week that she missed her period. To be sincere I told that with our present condition, we don't kid for now, the most important thing now is for me to get something doing and she will be looking for something to start doing. She said that she must have the baby.
Please what do you think I will do in this situation?
I need your input. I'm open to any questions.
Please Note: I'm not seeking for any financial help, I made some saving during the time I was working just that I don't need extra responsibilities for now. Thanks

Op there is not much that you can do. Do the very best you can do, try to make her understand the situation. This woman would just put you into a mess or add more burden to your current income hence even reducing the quality of life you are living now which I know your aren't even comfortable with.

Don't listen to that OP who is saying not much people even earn 4k daily or that people don't save. If people earn 60k a month and have 4 children. How is that your Bleep!ng problem? Did you tell him you want to live that kind of life? That is how they glorify and normalized suffering.

I understand your situation and I can imagine how difficult it is in this current inflationary economy.

If you're unable to convince your wife not to have the baby, take drastic actions to cut costs and save for the coming baby. E.g If it's possible to move your wife and kids to the village for a while pending when you're able to get job or more sustainable income, then do it. So you can save on house rent and move from your current house to a much cheaper house. Also let your wife know she'll be shouldering a good part of the household costs for now till things improve. Your family being away from you temporarily will also give you space/time to run around and hustle for opportunities till things stabilize.

I wish you the very best.

Newupdatee:
Bro I have enough to feed my present kids and myself okay, I'm not fucking begging you for anything, just that I'm not buoyant enough for extra responsibility.

sir y not use d enough to buy a car for Uber so that will guarantee steady income at least 5k per day n u can pick things up from there

With steady cash flow in your account u can apply for loan n set madam up

Though I don’t know d size of your “enough” but it’s an humble advice

Newupdatee:
Good day good people of Nairaland, please don't mind my English as I'm not educated to write English to your satisfactions.
I'm married with 3kids, 2 boys and a Girl, we are living happily, it happens that last year I lost my job and since that time, things has not been easy for us. I lost my job immediately I relocated my wife and my kids to my state of work. Which means my wife is not doing anything. Here is the problem I'm having, my wife told me last week that she missed her period. To be sincere I told that with our present condition, we don't kid for now, the most important thing now is for me to get something doing and she will be looking for something to start doing. She said that she must have the baby.
Please what do you think I will do in this situation?
I need your input. I'm open to any questions.
Please Note: I'm not seeking for any financial help, I made some saving during the time I was working just that I don't need extra responsibilities for now. Thanks

In that case she took in deliberately since she knows the economic situation of your family and went ahead to become pregnant

Let her keep the pregnancy, God will provide
But after the baby must have been one year

She must get something doing even if it's teaching in a school

By the time she will be busy and have to face children and work and stress, she will not allow another careless pregnancy

Women always know what they want and goes for it especially when they are idle and not contributing to assist their husband

But the moment she has a commitment and financial responsibility, she will be more sensible and economical because her pocket will be affected