MrBrownJay1:


whatever this couple does, they should do it AS A FAMILY... so if she goes to UK, everyone goes... and if he wants to stay back in Nigeria then EVERYONE STAYS BACK IN NIGERIA!

His ego is the problem. The thought of living face to face with a woman that outearns him. The fear of having his wife tell him is time to change the diapers.

That explains why most men pack out and stay with a relative or squat when they lose their jobs. The fear of emasculation

Honestly, the most important thing is the natural attitude of your wife.
If she is arrogant type or has tendency to be arrogant, please stay in Nigeria with your business, the worse is that you may marry another wife if she mess up. Otherwise you will regret the day you board the plane.

However, if she is naturally humble and submissive, you may please proceed on the journey. She may need to support you financially to start a good business or get certified in your chosen course.

Very bad decision,Shebi una talk say going to abroad is not because of money

IkpemhiTG:
Your candid advise is needed.

His wife got a job in the UK which pays her about £30,000/ annum. Husband will be going with the wife along with thier 3months old baby as a dependent. How do you think this man can cope nursing thier baby for God knows how long before he gets something doing.

On a second thought he will rather let the wife go while he stays back with the baby in Nigeria managing his business. He's not doing do bad in Nigeria.

My people what's the best option he should take that would favour him and his family?.

That father will not like what he will experience in the UK. Many that went that route leaving their comfortable jobs and businesses are regretting it. UK is a tough place.

The day his wife will remind him that she's the one paying the bills of the house, he will cry so much that he will be gasping for breath.

MrBrownJay1:


whatever this couple does, they should do it AS A FAMILY... so if she goes to UK, everyone goes... and if he wants to stay back in Nigeria then EVERYONE STAYS BACK IN NIGERIA!

Is a good idea, to avoid stories that touch

HaneefahRN:
Whatever you do let the primary applicant come first and get accomodation especially sorted first. To see accomodation for UK as a family is not beans. I personally won't be comfortable leaving my 3 months old baby behind, but if your wife and you are in agreement to do that no problem. I have seen people who did and they are also doing fine.
And you have to leave Naija mentality of not being a hands on father behind. If you don't want to spend all your salaries on child minders you have to babysit too as a father.

Lastly if you are doing very well financially as a family and do not have any other reason for seeking to japa apart from seeking more money then would say you all should stay back in Naija and enjoy your money.
You both need to talk indeptand reach a compromise

You have said it all. *excuse my typo and lack of punctuation*
There are lots of things to consider in this situation
1: The family staying together, but it meeds to happen at the best time. So she better comes first, get her first salary, pay slip and her BRP( which will remember her to be eligible to rent). Thats when they can get a reasonable place to stay or else airbnb mighy end up taking all their hard earned cash (most airbnbs have strict policies against babies, they prefer you to have dos over children here) . When she’s gotten accomodation sorted everyone comes over

The baby: taking care of children in the UK isnt easy( Talking from experience cos I’ve got two) especially for immigrants without family support. So its best for the baby to remain with the father in Nigeria before things get sorted (at least there should Be some social support system in Naija, either family or something)

Finances: the 30k is just 2k/month take home after tax. Main thing is rent and bills which might gulp about 1500 leaving her with 500 left dich I’snt bad. So when the husband comes, depending on his skills set, he could take some work from home jobs or weekend job( at least something flexible as he has the advantage, because he has got a dependent visa and the companies ain’t sponsoring him which gives him some flexibilit) So he could earn a reasonable ammount, of which if he isnt earning much could be tax free if about 1k/month.
The reason for the flexible job is so as to be able to assist with child care, as it needs both partners to be involved here in the Uk as immigrants. I paid about 55gbp per day in a nursery at one time. or it could be worse you pay 10gbp per hour for someone to come watch your child at home, while you are earning 12.5quid per hour(minimum wage), though my case was different I was earning okay and my wife as well but still it hurts to pay that much for child care, when your child only hours there to eat sleep and catch viral illnesses.

So yeah, the journey is one you should take because Ild encourage it as it is one i have taken and don’t have regrets. However it needs you both to help each other and understand each other.

PS: if it’s all these carework jobs though through an agent, please do your due diligence because there have been lots of problems recently as people ain’t getting enough work to do to meet up there minimum weekly hours due to Nigerian agents greed.

IkpemhiTG:
Your candid advise is needed.

His wife got a job in the UK which pays her about £30,000/ annum. Husband will be going with the wife along with thier 3months old baby as a dependent. How do you think this man can cope nursing thier baby for God knows how long before he gets something doing.

On a second thought he will rather let the wife go while he stays back with the baby in Nigeria managing his business. He's not doing do bad in Nigeria.

My people what's the best option he should take that would favour him and his family?.

As a man. He shouldn't follow his wife to UK as a dependant. That would be a slap on his face and his said wife will immediately turn to wolf 🐺 and see her husband as a bag of shit
This I have witnessed

Lmao...never ever give your strength to a woman.


Proverbs 31.3

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What if his wife loses her job in the UK and both he and their child are dependent on the now lost income and he has already closed his CERTAIN source of income in Naija

I personally will not subscribe to anyone father or mother being a nanny or stay at home parent as you tend to lose your skills by staying at home for an indeterminate period of time.

So, if he moves to the UK, he has to find a job fast so that he puts some money on the table every month end especially since child care in the UK is upwards of £1,000 per month talk less of the brutal cost of living crisis EVERYONE in the UK is currently facing.

His wife's £2,035 net pay per month can not pay the monthly child care costs + rent + gas + water + electricity + council tax + TV licence + broadband + baby costs + phone bills + feeding + clothes + toiletries + a little something kept aside for emergency bills that WILL surely pop up now and again especially with a baby in tow - baby medicine, pampers, food, winter clothes etc, etc.

He should think hard and fast about this as the grass always looks greener when looked at from the other side of the fence and does he want to jack in certainty for uncertainty. ??

IkpemhiTG:
Your candid advise is needed.

His wife got a job in the UK which pays her about £30,000/ annum. Husband will be going with the wife along with thier 3months old baby as a dependent. How do you think this man can cope nursing thier baby for God knows how long before he gets something doing.

On a second thought he will rather let the wife go while he stays back with the baby in Nigeria managing his business. He's not doing do bad in Nigeria.

My people what's the best option he should take that would favour him and his family?.

Let go of your Ego/Pride Oga.

You are already feeling intimidated by her proposed earnings. Why did you permit her to apply in the first place?


Mods, next gist abeg

Omo people like suffer

IkpemhiTG:
Your candid advise is needed.

His wife got a job in the UK which pays her about £30,000/ annum. Husband will be going with the wife along with thier 3months old baby as a dependent. How do you think this man can cope nursing thier baby for God knows how long before he gets something doing.

On a second thought he will rather let the wife go while he stays back with the baby in Nigeria managing his business. He's not doing do bad in Nigeria.

My people what's the best option he should take that would favour him and his family?.

let him follow before another man go knack him wife

Some ladies are not to be trusted

Mindlog:


Is it a 9a.m to 5p.m job or a rota of day and night shifts?

One thing is a FACT, she can't arrive the UK to start a job with a 3 months old baby, not even with the husband, dem go suffer!

She comes alone, she can easily get a room in a shared house within a week of arrival. She works for 3-4 months to save funds, so she can rent a 2 bedroom flat while she files for her husband and their baby after making sure her employer would allow her to briefly travel to Nigeria, to return with her husband and baby.

Their mothers and sisters can support in taking care of the baby, pending when the baby's mother comes to take him/her.

If the job is going to be 9a.m to 5p.m, the husband would baby sit their baby till his wife gets back from work, he can then leave for his night shift job and return in the morning to take over child care as wifey leaves for work.....it is not going to be an easy ride and that is for sure!

The alternative of getting a nanny here in the UK is disastrous because nanny will have to be paid at least £10 per hour while madam will be earning about £15 per hour at work ....so it makes no sense.

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Ilekokonit:
What if his wife loses her job in the UK and both he and their child are dependent on the now lost income and he has already closed his CERTAIN source of income in Naija

I personally will not subscribe to anyone father or mother being a nanny or stay at home parent as you tend to lose your skills by staying at home for an indeterminate period of time.

So, if he moves to the UK, he has to find a job fast so that he puts some money on the table every month end especially since child care in the UK is upwards of £1,000 per month talk less of the brutal cost of living crisis EVERYONE in the UK is currently facing.

His wife's £2,035 net pay per month can not pay the monthly child care costs + rent + gas + water + electricity + council tax + TV licence + broadband + baby costs + phone bills + feeding + clothes + toiletries + a little something kept aside for emergency bills that WILL surely pop up now and again especially with a baby in tow - baby medicine, pampers, food, winter clothes etc, etc.

He should think hard and fast about this as the grass always looks greener when looked at from the other side of the fence and does he want to jack in certainty for uncertainty. ??

“How about if she looses her job in the uk?”. Okay, how about if he looses his source if income in Nigeria?.
Come on everything is a risk, you don’t live scared of taking decision because of if it fails, you take it and work against it failing while planning for whatever life throws at you.

Everybody keeps shouting bills bills, haba! Its like most people here dont want people to come or people in Nigeria are half informed.
Manchester for instance, there are houses(2 bedrooms for instance) that are 800-900 amd 1k tops
Monthly budget:
900 - house
African food(which is the most expensive from african stores) - 200

Light and gas -200
Council tax - 150 tops

Diapers - 2 maxi pack(pampers which is the most expensive) for 22pounds at morrisons, enough for a month.

Baby food - 34pounds )thats if its just baby food no breastmilk)

Total - 1500
If you want to spoil yourself enter primark shop and shop -300gbp for tourself and baby.

This is from experience.
Why TV license when you’re still hustling netflix never do you?(you don’t have to pay tv license if you watch netflix and prime and don’t stream live channels like bbc, channels and the likes)

Abeg lets stop discouraging people from coming please, @o.p I’m just giving you the info needed to make an informed decision.

Most people here shout bills bills, ehn UK is expensive, and they haven’t gone back to Naija. The cheapest thing here is food stuff. So live according to your income and you should be fine, but don’t all come if there’s no accommodation ready. Make plans.

Yugoslavia247:
Abroad dey turn innocent woman to feminist real quick.

My ex wife wey I take go UK once told me I was using her for shelter just because she was paying the rent temporarily after the money I gave her to pay rent for 6 months whilst I went to Naija to hustle finished and the Naija business no work out.

I slept in my car a few nights and my son just shook his head when he saw me in the car on his way to school the next morning.

May be na the UK stress, or financial demands and undue interference from unreasonable Parents in law back home or the claustrophobia of living in smaller houses in the UK but there is definitely something in the air in the UK that scatters marriages sooner or later especially given that the UK is the single parent capital of Europe due to the single mother benefits payments the Govt gives to single mothers monthly.

There is no longer the incentive for the woman to have the man in the house as that is a hindrance to her collecting the monthly single parent payments from the UK Government her new husband.

I saw some news today where an Afghan refugee resettled in the UK with his wife and kids after Kabul fell to the Taliban 2 years ago and the man was complaining on YouTube that his Afghan wife who was a darling back in Afghanistan has suddenly changed into an argumentative wife and at times he thinks she has some form of mental illness with the way she now shouts at him and treats him with scorn - something that was not in her character back in Afghanistan.

IF A MAN OR WOMAN WANTS HIS / HER EXISTING MARRIAGE TO LAST AND HAVE THE SAME HAPPINESS IT ONCE HAD, THEN THE UK IS NOT THE PLACE TO RELOCATE TO WITH OR WITHOUT YOUR SPOUSE.

The UK stress levels and society is not compatible with long lasting / happy marriages LONG TERM.

He should go along with the wife and eschew all form of pride and bitterness .

IkpemhiTG:
Your candid advise is needed.

His wife got a job in the UK which pays her about £30,000/ annum. Husband will be going with the wife along with thier 3months old baby as a dependent. How do you think this man can cope nursing thier baby for God knows how long before he gets something doing.

On a second thought he will rather let the wife go while he stays back with the baby in Nigeria managing his business. He's not doing do bad in Nigeria.

My people what's the best option he should take that would favour him and his family?.

He should pray to God for guidance and way to follow.

Put ur bizness in good hands and move to the UK with your wife. While there regularise your documentsso you can go and come as you please!

IkpemhiTG:
Your candid advise is needed.

His wife got a job in the UK which pays her about £30,000/ annum. Husband will be going with the wife along with thier 3months old baby as a dependent. How do you think this man can cope nursing thier baby for God knows how long before he gets something doing.

On a second thought he will rather let the wife go while he stays back with the baby in Nigeria managing his business. He's not doing do bad in Nigeria.

My people what's the best option he should take that would favour him and his family?.

TheBillyonaire:
30K per year is not money.

Besides, the woman go leave am eventually, whether they travel or not.

Women who are constantly searching for japa strategy always end up leaving their husbands.

Say no to her, she will blame you every day,

Allow her to travel alone, she will be fuccking Romanians.

Go with her, and become a nanny and she will return daily to see a failure always in boxers.

You na serious Badoo but you are making sense.

Reminds me of a friend in the UK now a successful public transport Engineer who back in the day was a recent unemployed graduate living with his girlfriend who had a job and every day immediately she comes back from work before she even changes her clothes, she will start interrogating him about what he has achieved during the day jobsearch wise.

The guy stomached it for a while until she asked the same question one day and he snapped and jacked her up against the wall by the neck and gave her a serious warning never to interrogate him ever again.

So you are correct in saying that if he goes with her to the UK, he will become a nanny and the wife will return daily to see a failure always in boxers.

Naija women in the UK become so ungrateful, forgetful and petty when they are the main financial contributor in the family even if its temporary whilst the husband gets a good paying job.

Oyinbo women are not like this as whichever one of them is working sees their salary as belonging to the whole family and I once met an unemployed man on his way back from a drinking session and I asked him what he did and he said he was unemployed and his wife is a headteacher / headmistress but that her money is his money.

You will never see this amongst Nigerian couples in the UK.

RALPHOW:
if she is naturally humble and submissive, you may please proceed on the journey.

I've seen erstwhile naturally humble and submissive women change to cantankerous monsters after some years in the UK.

RecentHistory:
The day his wife will remind him that she's the one paying the bills of the house, he will cry so much that he will be gasping for breath.

I say my ex wife wey I take go UK once told me I was using her for shelter just because she was paying the rent temporarily after the money I gave her to pay rent for 6 months whilst I went to Naija to hustle finished and the Naija business no work out.

I slept in my car a few nights and my son just shook his head when he saw me in the car on his way to school the next morning.

Women are as patient as the vulture and my Ex waited for 10 years after which I had gifted her British Pali and also educated her to the point she now had a good job before showing her true colours.

Reminds me of the old James Hadley Chase novel titled :- The vulture is a patient bird.

IkpemhiTG:
Your candid advise is needed.

His wife got a job in the UK which pays her about £30,000/ annum. Husband will be going with the wife along with thier 3months old baby as a dependent. How do you think this man can cope nursing thier baby for God knows how long before he gets something doing.

On a second thought he will rather let the wife go while he stays back with the baby in Nigeria managing his business. He's not doing do bad in Nigeria.

My people what's the best option he should take that would favour him and his family?.

If he is not doing bad here I would advise he stays back and let the wife and baby go first so he can focus on the business provided the woman is a faithful woman though can trust someone completely. Going as a dependent and not earning anything for a period of time can be frustrating for a man but both should put head together and discuss.

IkpemhiTG:
Your candid advise is needed.

His wife got a job in the UK which pays her about £30,000/ annum. Husband will be going with the wife along with thier 3months old baby as a dependent. How do you think this man can cope nursing thier baby for God knows how long before he gets something doing.

On a second thought he will rather let the wife go while he stays back with the baby in Nigeria managing his business. He's not doing do bad in Nigeria.

My people what's the best option he should take that would favour him and his family?.

Premium tears loading for the man. This I have seen.

Why going to UK? Because of money .
Isn't the man making money here in Nigeria?
Just going to UK because of more money isn't ideal.
Either he goes there and his wife turns him to houseboy and throws him out or he stays back here and builds his family and business. Money isn't everything.
You can never know a Nigerian woman until you start feeding from her hands.

Ilekokonit:


I say my ex wife wey I take go UK once told me I was using her for shelter just because she was paying the rent temporarily after the money I gave her to pay rent for 6 months whilst I went to Naija to hustle finished and the Naija business no work out.

I slept in my car a few nights and my son just shook his head when he saw me in the car on his way to school the next morning.

Women are as patient as the vulture and my Ex waited for 10 years after which I had gifted her British Pali and also educated her to the point she now had a good job before showing her true colours.

Reminds me of the old James Hadley Chase novel titled :- The vulture is a patient bird.

Oga, I bought Rav4 and gave a lady I stupidly called my fiance. One day, she told me to stop making noise in her car. A vehicle that she didn't put 1 kobo inside.

That day was a turning point in my relationship with females of all kinds.

Only a mother loves unconditionally. Others are after their own survival.

£30,000 a year for a family of three with a child is poverty in the Uk. The only way this could work is if they are a real team. The father would stay home and work part time.

There needs to be time created for the family to bond and live life. If they both work full time then that would put a huge strain on their relationship, leading to disrespect, abuse, and a power struggle if they are not strong and responsible people.

The wife will feel the pain of being the breadwinner and the husband will be tested by taking on a domestic role which he may struggle to get his head around.

Life abroad is different from life in Africa. Over there, husband and wife hustle nearly equally.

He doesn't have to sit ahome as a nanny to the child all year round. When the wife is at work, he stays with the child. When she returns, she takes over the babysitting, and he goes to his own work(most suitable, night shift)

It won't take him more than 2 months to find a job after he arrives the UK as a dependent

Ilekokonit:


You na serious Badoo but you are making sense.

Reminds me of a friend in the UK now a successful public transport Engineer who back in the day was a recent unemployed graduate living with his girlfriend who had a job and every day immediately she comes back from work before she even changes her clothes, she will start interrogating him about what he has achieved during the day jobsearch wise.

The guy stomached it for a while until she asked the same question one day and he snapped and jacked her up against the wall by the neck and gave her a serious warning never to interrogate him ever again.

So you are correct in saying that if he goes with her to the UK, he will become a nanny and the wife will return daily to see a failure always in boxers.

Naija women in the UK become so ungrateful, forgetful and petty when they are the main financial contributor in the family even if its temporary whilst the husband gets a good paying job.

Oyinbo women are not like this as whichever one of them is working sees their salary as belonging to the whole family and I once met an unemployed man on his way back from a drinking session and I asked him what he did and he said he was unemployed and his wife is a headteacher / headmistress but that her money is his money.

You will never see this amongst Nigerian couples in the UK.

I was with you on this until you started making it a race thing. There isn’t Any woman from any race, ethnicity, or culture that is happy to be the breadwinner in the family. All women want a provider or at minimum a co-provider. Don’t take the words of a drunk man stumbling home. He’s using borrowed time to talk because his wife will leave him for the next man who takes her out to dinner and sends her roses at work on valentines or her birthday.

IkpemhiTG:
Your candid advise is needed.

His wife got a job in the UK which pays her about £30,000/ annum. Husband will be going with the wife along with thier 3months old baby as a dependent. How do you think this man can cope nursing thier baby for God knows how long before he gets something doing.

On a second thought he will rather let the wife go while he stays back with the baby in Nigeria managing his business. He's not doing do bad in Nigeria.

My people what's the best option he should take that would favour him and his family?.

Man should go with the wife n baby. He can take 2 weekend night shifts to support the home and 1 week day night shift in any minial job.