Why is it that even when it is so clear from all indications that your daughter is married to an irresponsible man who is toxic. Nigerian parents will still say endure and stay there.

A lot of married young ladies are down with depression and even high BP because of marital stress. But they have to remain there. It's just so sad

Those parents must be toxic.

The duty of a parent is to train their daughters to know themselves...
If you know yourself, you will know that from 20 yrs is now an adult and at that age any of your actions has to be taken with care....
From that age You should know when you feel you are ready for marriage, nobody should coerce you ..
You should also know the kind of man you are getting married to, nobody should know the man more than you....
If along the lane of marriage, you discover some toxic behaviour, decision to leave should rest on your shoulder Nd not your parents...

Remember, it's your marriage, it's your husband...
Not theirs...

An adult should know what is good for them. Save yourself before you expect others to save you! I think the church is a strong factor as well, Thank God a few are gaining understanding

BrighterThanDay:
Why is it that even when it is so clear from all indications that your daughter is married to an irresponsible man who is toxic. Nigerian parents will still say endure and stay there.

A lot of married young ladies are down with depression and even high BP because of marital stress. But they have to remain there. It's just so sad

My dear, it's painful because at the end of the day, you are leaving a toxic marriage but you don't have your family to fall back on because they wanted you to remain there. That can be a very lonely place. I feel after a breakup, this is the time for your parents and siblings to shower you with the most love, but this is not always the case, certain parents even see it as you bringing shame to the family, just because you put your emotional and physical well-being first.

This thing called marriage especially in 9ja is one big scam!
Don't ask me how...
The relationship itself is boring and I can't stand boredom...
Everybody is acting a script...from the parents, pastor or wherever...

judatech:
This thing called marriage especially in 9ja is one big scam!
Don't ask me how...
The relationship itself is boring and I can't stand boredom...
Everybody is acting a script...from the parents, pastor or wherever...

So true! And no one says anything until you enter and then you are like some body should have told me but it's too late
The ladies who leave or manage to speak up are tagged bad and you shouldn't be like them. It's when you enter that you realize that may be there weren't that bad after all, they just got tired of the whole bullshit!

BrighterThanDay:
Why is it that even when it is so clear from all indications that your daughter is married to an irresponsible man who is toxic. Nigerian parents will still say endure and stay there.

A lot of married young ladies are down with depression and even high BP because of marital stress. But they have to remain there. It's just so sad

I blame them for staying in that abusive and toxic marriages not their parents

She is the one feeling the pains not her parents

So if she has determined to get out of it, she knows where the door is

JaneYave:
An adult should know what is good for them. Save yourself before you expect others to save you! I think the church is a strong factor as well, Thank e few are gaining understanding

A lady that values her life won't look at parents and church concerns before quitting the death relationship

If a lady is not worthless without her husband money, she will not look her parents or church before leaving an abusive marriage

frozen70:


I blame them for staying in that abusive and toxic marriages not their parents

She is the one feeling the pains not her parents

So if she has determined to get out of it, she knows where the door is

You think it is so easy?

judatech:
This thing called marriage especially in 9ja is one big scam!
Don't ask me how...
The relationship itself is boring and I can't stand boredom...
Everybody is acting a script...from the parents, pastor or wherever...

Marriage is not scam.. Na scammers dey enter marriage

Marriage is not a scam.. I have seen few people that I wish to have sumtin like them.. Not that they are perfect but they did well with their marriage...

DenreleDave:


You think it is so easy?

So which one is easy

For a married woman to walk out of abusive marriage alive with her children

Or for a married woman's corpse to be carried out of that house and her children becoming motherless with a loveless father

frozen70:


So which one is easy

For a married woman to walk out of abusive marriage alive with her children

Or for a married woman's corpse to be carried out of that house and her children becoming motherless with a loveless father

Many endure bcox of their kids... They don't have the power to cater for them, so they stay with their abusive partner and endure as long as their kids are "fine"

DenreleDave:


Many endure bcox of their kids... They don't have the power to cater for them, so they stay with their abusive partner and endure as long as their kids are "fine"

So are you saying as long as a woman can care for your kids and herself, then it's best she leaves.
I thought according to our tradition the children belong to the man?
Can a woman leave with her kids? Except for the obvious running away? I need a sincere and informed answer to this.

BrighterThanDay:


So are you saying as long as a woman can care for your kids and herself, then it's best she leaves.
I thought according to our tradition the children belong to the man?
Can a woman leave with her kids? Except for the obvious running away? I need a sincere and informed answer to this.

1. I didn't say the bolded

2a. In a case where a woman can take care of her kids, if she is able to provide for them without the help of the abusive man, it is necessary she leaves with them especially for young ones. An abusive man is not safe with kids.

2b. If na the woman dey toxic, then the kids are not safe with her. It should be left to the husband.

3. The kids staying wth their mother doesn't mean they don't belong to their father be it abusive or not. They are their father's kid.

4. Whether running a way or not, the moment she feels she & her kids are not safe with her husband, then she do whatever she can do to secure their lives.

5. Tradition doesn't cover marital abuse

I hope we are clear on this

Because those parents sold their daughter

Abolish dowry and expensive marriage list and you will see a wonderful turnaround in women happiness in marriage

You can't eat your cake and have it back

A white lady can easily walk out of marriage because even in marriage she is a free human no one bought her same can't be said of most African ladies

Their is a case of my friend sister who dowry is 300k after marriage this young lady of barely 25 is seeing renew shege in her husband house, this husband is so 'cunning' that he will never beat the wife but the shege the wife is seeing is worse than been beaten

When wife was pregnant she told wife to go leave with her family so they could take care of her proper throughout pregnancy man never visit wife in her family house, wife gave birth through CS and husband never show up for 4 days, child dedication husband no show

So so many unspeakable attitude and behavior because he bought the lady at a premium price

Of course, it's necessary.

Spot On.



Wittyness

As usual, Naija women are always the saints while the men are the devil.


The guys no kuku dey marry again, make the saints dey marry themselves.

Yeye dey smell

Do you need you need anyone to tell you to leave a toxic marriage?

If you remain in an abusive relationship because of financial gains or cos of the mentality that you can't start afresh , it's a choice.

That does not make you a survivor or a victim. You chose to stay for Personal reasons

Really? Between 9ja men and women who is more toxic?

oluwaseyi0:
Because those parents sold their daughter

Abolish dowry and expensive marriage list and you will see a wonderful turnaround in women happiness in marriage

You can't eat your cake and have it back

A white lady can easily walk out of marriage because even in marriage she is a free human no one bought her same can't be said of most African ladies

Their is a case of my friend sister who dowry is 300k after marriage this young lady of barely 25 is seeing renew shege in her husband house, this husband is so 'cunning' that he will never beat the wife but the shege the wife is seeing is worse than been beaten

When wife was pregnant she told wife to go leave with her family so they could take care of her proper throughout pregnancy man never visit wife in her family house, wife gave birth through CS and husband never show up for 4 days, child dedication husband no show

So so many unspeakable attitude and behavior because he bought the lady at a premium price

I watched a video on TikTok this morning where a man slapped n brush the mother of his son in the presence of the content creator.i wept.
If it the content creator was to be untouchable comedies swears he would have beaten the woman's Husband blue n black.

It boils down to religion. A lot of parents believe that divorce is a sign that the devil has destroyed your home, that's why they'll encourage their daughters to pray, fast attend programs...etc so that their irresponsible husbands can change rather than leave that abusive marriage.

Pastors too are not helping matters, rather than advise these women who are victims of abusive marriages to call it quits, they'll keep using prayers to extort them until either they die or the husband throws them out of his house, or he just decides to change on his own. If the latter is the case, the pastor would take all the credit and the woman would become his subject for life.

This is why I do advise women not to go into marriage empty handed. A broke woman is a valueless woman. Your husband would treat you like trash cos he knows that you can't survive on your own without him.

But that same man would respect you if you he meets you as independent woman. Cos there's nothing he can use to hold you back.

BrighterThanDay:
Why is it that even when it is so clear from all indications that your daughter is married to an irresponsible man who is toxic. Nigerian parents will still say endure and stay there.

A lot of married young ladies are down with depression and even high BP because of marital stress. But they have to remain there. It's just so sad

you are talking in the rubbish. Give the full story or stfu