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Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by BRATISLAVA: 8:56pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
Kobojunkie: Lol. When it comes to family matters, the worst logical people to listen to are Nigerian men. They will perform mental acrobatics to support their brother in his time of callowness and senseless evil, and the end result is you posting numerous times to try to understand them. You can't understand them. They are keeping to the bro code. You'll see all manner of pointless advice. I'm sure the usual, "take someone he respects to talk to him, an old person" advice that means nothing has come up. Switch the genders and a divorce/cheating is the best thing for her to do. 6 Likes |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by sonofthunder: 9:25pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by theophorus(m): 9:25pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
preshpraiz: Good Evening Dear Sis. Life can play a very funny trick on Us. Sometime we wonder why the unserious and sometimes the ungodly seems to be doing well while we seems to be struggling. Why everything seems to be working against us despite all our effort to ensure that we never had to face any trouble. We seems to have done everything right but everything seems not to be right with Us. But Sis, I urge that you commit everything to God in prayer and let the Shalom (Peace of the Lord fill your mind). Relax and calmly think and take decisions. Don't take decision based on your emotions but based on available reality and Faith. Considering that rent is expiring soon and there is no money for repayment yet, I urge that you wait and commit it to prayer. If you have the leading to move your kids and yourself to your parents house do that for now so as to have a balance and prevent some avoidable stress. Just let go of regrets and stop comparing yourself to others because our challenges are different. Just keep Faith and commit everything to God and He would come through for you. Let go of the Regret and the Hate that your current situation is making you develop and let Love and Hope and Faith fill your mind. May the Lord Satisfy you early with His Goodness, Kindness and Sure Mercies. |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by FHL3: 9:28pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
Hmmm it is well my sister. I married at 33 as a virgin. My wife was 27 YO as a virgin too and I have been married for 9 years now. So, I can relate with what it meant to you. Your mental health is of utmost importance to you, your kids, your family and friends and even your husband. So, please, don't bottle your emotions up. I am a Christian by God's grace. I'm assuming you are a Christian based on your profile name. So, my advice will follow that line. Talk to your pastor or his wife or marriage counselors. Let your family and his family know what you are going through as well. Please, I beg you by the mercies of God, avoid ungodly counsels. I think it is clear that your husband is not a matured Christian and dealing with an immatured Christian is like dealing with someone who doesn't know the Lord. I Tim 5:8. A former colleague of mine has a husband exactly like yours. I thank God for her faith in the Lord and endurance. If you handle the situation the way of the world, your marriage may not survive it. I have a lot to say but please, trust God, pray, pray and continue to pray and take right actions. What God says about marriage and family is what matters. Not what the society says. Use, the challenging situation to grow the more in your faith and walk with God. Always ask yourself - What will Jesus have me do in this situation? I met a couple few months back who have been married for 70 years. Marriage is not bread and butter. It is a life time commitment and it has ups and downs. I pray that the Lord intervene in your marriage and give you joy and peace in Jesus name. Thanks, God bless you |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Kobojunkie: 9:33pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
theophorus:Stop using the name of God to lie to her. Ask yourself! If God has not resolved all those many marriages in your church that has been falling apart I your churches, some since day one, why would God resolve anything that pertains to this one you are here lying to?. |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Kobojunkie: 9:37pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
FHL3:Stop lying to her! @preshpraiz, no matter what you do, you had better stay away from the trap of church people and family if you ever wish to tackle your situation. Churches are filled to the brim with women like you who have been praying for many many years, some even decades, for God to save their marriages. Many of the same women have had to watch the husband they have been praying for eventually abandon them yet the pastors and mogs urge them to continue praying even into their old age for what will never happen. Why? because those women fill seats and bring money and more customers into the church businesses through their many delusions. God of the Bible cursed marriage and childbearing in Genesis 3 vs 16, and Jesus Christ equally said that the marriages of men are not of the Kingdom of God - Luke 20 vs 34 - 36. But your pastors will not tell you this part because their businesses depend on you staying with the many delusions surrounding marriage today. |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Prosperity4All: 9:38pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
Kobojunkie: I was going to suggest that you were sick in the head but on a second look at your bigotry, it's obvious you are lacking in Character. So stop learning as it would only exacerbate your character deficiency. Hopefully you know the difference between an advice and an inference. |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Kobojunkie: 9:41pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
Prosperity4All:LOL... see this one desperately wriggling around like a worm after been caught in foolishness. |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by sonofthunder: 9:43pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
BRATISLAVA: Oga virginity obsession (in case you are obsessed because you are one, you are not the only virgin), virginity doesn't equate a good life, the discipline only helps when we allow it to permeate all aspects of our lives. These are some of the lies we were told instead of working to improve our situation and environment. She clearly doesn't respect her husband either as a hard worker or a gambler. She simply settled for him as he was what she had available. I have addressed something similar before and truth is most of these mistakes come from modern day approach to dating and lies we are told. You can help her pack back to her parents house but I can promise you it will likely bring even more regrets in the long run. It's only a good fix temporarily, to reset the man's brain or make him miss the children. It seems you are one of the men vs women crew so you can enjoy yourself. This woman was more concerned about appraising herself than finding solution to the challenge. You have only heard the woman's half of the story. Go ahead and crucify everyone based on that. I'm adding this after cause I may not reply you after. Check the older generation, they have lots of husband's that misbehaved, but such man always had someone in his life that would let him know he is mad and must get out of the house... Even if for a while, the man will leave the house to do concrete work or anything he has to do. Clearly the man here has no such people in his life or maybe they existed and she disrespected them, but If you as a lady go on to marry such a man, what do you expect others to do for you if challenges arise? |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Prosperity4All: 9:52pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:I can tell a psychopath from a mile. Your stereotype is obvious but coming here to flog people's personal opinions won't solve your marital and antisocial problems. In fact it affirms why you had them. Cry on. |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Kobojunkie: 9:54pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
Prosperity4All:***yawn*** |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Prosperity4All: 9:56pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:idiatt |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by MissWords: 9:58pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
I love your English |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Kobojunkie: 10:01pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
Prosperity4All:Look who's talking! |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by luminouz(m): 10:05pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
Fountainofyouth:Lol...old age kee you Dia.... bigmouth |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Phlakes(f): 10:07pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
preshpraiz:your husband is simply depressed, that's why he is gambling and has refused to work, we all have different coping mechanisms. Covid really bleeped people up. I guess he doesn't want to work with private organisation again to avoid disappointment. I will advice you calm down and be his friend, stop nagging and I believe he will come around and open up to you. Moving to your parents house is not the solution. |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Kobojunkie: 10:13pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
Phlakes:1. A man who has 3 kids has the luxury of wallowing in depression? Depressed people work too, you know that right? 2. So, OP should instead stay and wait until her children and belongings are tossed out into the streets, cause sheltering her children from that devasting experience is not important at all? What is more important is remaining friends with her husband and being homeless with him? 2 Likes |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by HRMK: 10:23pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
obviously you were so inexperienced or loveblind not to know your hubby is lazy!you have also been aiding him along same line by paying the billls!dont ever think he would even change because he wont!have you talked with his parents and family members about it?has he a mentor you can report to?what about your spiritual leader?i mean a pastor or imam?i am convinced you have encouraged him to be lazy for too long!HE WONT BE READY TO CHANGE!THE ONLY SOLUTION IS TO MOVE OUT!GOODLUCK!! |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by yewit37486: 10:35pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
nahzyla: |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by juman(m): 11:03pm On Oct 14, 2023 |
BRATISLAVA: Abi. What women bring to the table in marriages? Women bring all things to the marriage. Women are the foundation and bedrock of marriages, they cant run away from the children. In many families the main breadwinner is the mother. The mother trained the children upto universities. 2 Likes |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Lincton: 12:59am On Oct 15, 2023 |
I can see that you are a dignified woman, it's a virtue. It would be a good compliment if you can give your husband the morale needed in this is trying moment. He has lost his job don't make him have another loss. Imagine he landed the dream job, it's going to be a fortune for all of you. Respect him for the great concept, miracle happens. |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Kobojunkie: 1:19am On Oct 15, 2023 |
Lincton:LOL.... 😁🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 After giving him "virginity" she also has to give him the morale needed to keep trying to be a better husband and father.... the demands never end, do they? Oh, yes! They are about to have their belongings thrown out on the streets but wait, she first has to have even more respect for him in order for him to be able to work and pay the bills like a sane husband should. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by FHL3: 4:25am On Oct 15, 2023 |
I didn't lie to her. I only shared a personal and sincere advice with her. Ultimately, the final decision is hers to make but decisions do have consequences, either good or bad. Kobojunkie: |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by MICVOCT(m): 4:26am On Oct 15, 2023 |
preshpraiz: <smile> More doors would open for you to fornicate and commit adultery, don't yield to that, real assistance and favour would show up by other Real Angels. Provided you get some cash before times runs out, don't hesitate to move to your parent house if palatable to do such. I just hope you can chew it; your husband is under the influence of some minor forces, I pray he get over it, provided if what you wrote here was real. However, you shouldn't nose dive the act of constant communication with God on your daily basis. <Be prayerful> Since he's your husband, fight with him at your own detriment on this issue. One of the best move is to gather 👌 courage and source for more income and start an added business if not new, so as to take care of your own "fruit" and have a meaningful ways of life. As per your husband, report him to his families, and that is not limited to his parent alone. If he doesn't change within 2.5years, get a new husband if you're interested, subject to paragraph one. Oops, I still have other news to read here on Nairaland , happy Sunday. I rest my thoughts. MICVOCT |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by PeachtreeReside(f): 4:35am On Oct 15, 2023 |
Those that preached abstaining from Sex and watch how God will bless you with all the goodies of life are meant to be blamed for this faulty thinking. |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by YoshihideSuga: 5:28am On Oct 15, 2023 |
DND069: The majority of Nigerians are hypocrites. 2 Likes |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Gerrard59(m): 6:58am On Oct 15, 2023 |
Having from the beginning to the end, I'm stunned by the responses by most men lampooning her for mentioning virginity and being chaste before marriage. You people have effectively told young women that there are no marital benefits through virginity. Yet the same men are chanting on twitter, Instagram and other sections of Nairaland that virginity is the best prize a Nigerian woman can offer to her husband. Too bad! This is how you people mold women into something else then later come to complain. The same people wey dey praise virginity like it's a Nobel prize in physics or chemistry SUDDENLY says it's worthless. The other day, I advised hookup babes to be very ruthless in their enterprise as Nigerian men can be very funny. Just see the bash towards her virginity status from the people who preach it for a living. On the other hand, this thread further reinforces the belief that without money, most men are worthless to the society. I have seen it all. Without money, man no get use for this world. It's important young men know this before entering marriage and having PLENTY children. This woman's case (assuming it's true and not one of the monikers Seun creates) would have been easier to handle had it been she had a child or two. But with three children and a possibility of another, things get complicated. I don warn una tire say to dey born plenty children no dey good, especially in Africa. For we wey no too dey interested in marriage, we watch and learn. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Incrediblekutty(m): 7:16am On Oct 15, 2023 |
Who told this mumu that she would have married "right" if she was wayward?? Make your decision and stop the emotional blackmail |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by zrocky: 7:25am On Oct 15, 2023 |
preshpraiz:madam relax. Not all that glitters is gold. Only that man knows what he have seen in private companies. Besides you got married to him he was working and all was fine, now his no longer work it time for you to support. It's your job as the wife to stand up now for him. He might be going through depression and some personal struggles and from your statement you are not helping. Also you leave in Nigeria and honestly things are very hard now harder for men. So give that man a break and double your hustle. Stop looking at other people success and dey you lane. |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Jamie1000: 1:31pm On Oct 15, 2023 |
Kobojunkie: Metal health is job of everyone. Untill he commits suicide, you will not know his importance. Ppl like you have no empathy. You think it's easy to marry under this economy, talk more of having 3 kids. |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by libertyfather(m): 2:45pm On Oct 15, 2023 |
I understand ur plight ur sacrifice, reading all comments above not everyone get what u mean being a virgin and loving wife...in all ur being pure and sacrifices u want is a soft landing but now it other way round.....anyway no advice or whatever to give u jst wants you to knw someone understand what you are going through and all I can say is that's life will never be rosy for everyone do what ur will pleases you, in between I hate lazy partner preshpraiz: 1 Like |
Re: Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet..... by Kobojunkie: 3:53pm On Oct 15, 2023 |
Jamie1000:LOL.... mental health is everybody's Job yet the same you did not insist on this woman demanding the same level of empathy from her husband. Strange! It is not easy to be married under the economy as though somehow they were forced into marriage with 3 kids and so deserve pity? You are not serious at all. 1 Like |
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