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Why We Formed Synw βadedoyin / Three Magic Weapons For A Carefree Life (2) (3) (4)
Weapons Formed Against Me by Rosemary33: 9:18am On Mar 18 |
Looking for a husband in Port Harcourt is not for the faint-hearted ni. When people said that nearly every man in Lagos is mad, hmm... them never meet Port Harcourt men o. Those one's na principalities and powers. And if you come dey unlucky come jam the church bros among them... Ah, my sister, sister. Na weapons fashioned against you be that o. Anyway. Na me go find trouble. No. I mustn't blame myself. It was my village people who wouldn't allow me to drink water and drop cup because I was thirty and yet to drag a man down to the village to pay my bride price. The last time I attended our family meeting, I couldn't count the many times I was reminded of my single pringlehood. Every little pim I uttered earned me a side-eye from my mother whom I knew would have asked me to hide under the bed if she could because Ukamaka and Erimma, my much younger cousins were coming for the meeting and they were all married with kids. I deliberately chose to be part of that meeting because...what was our slogan again for this year? Yes, no gree for anybody. Na single I dey, I no kill anybody. And I'd had enough of family and friends shaming me because I didn't have a man. I'd avoided gatherings because of their sniggers and outright mockery. This year? Na me and them. See ehn... I didn't start this adulthood that is not really adulting to be single. But all the men I have been meeting had a way of making my head scream " I want to goooooo hooooommmmeeee!" Like...where were all those cute, loyal, well-behaved guys with a sprinkle of godliness? Why was I meeting only deliverance cases and god forbid situations? The story long sha, but I would tell it. 2 Likes
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Re: Weapons Formed Against Me by Rosemary33: 9:21am On Mar 18 |
Hey, beautiful people. It's been a long while, yeah? I have been quite busy getting books published. And yes, I have a blog now . Even this story I'm about to start posting here has been in my blog (a few episodes anyways.) so if you don't have the patience to wait and read here weekly, you may as well move to the blog and read ahead. How is everyone doing? 3 Likes |
Re: Weapons Formed Against Me by Gloriagee(f): 8:56pm On Mar 18 |
How to access your blog 1 Like |
Re: Weapons Formed Against Me by Rosemary33: 9:03am On Mar 19 |
Gloriagee:hey, sis. Here is the link. https://romanceanderoticstories..com/ |
Re: Weapons Formed Against Me by Rosemary33: 9:04am On Mar 19 |
New episodes will be dropped here every weekend so I don't get overwhelmed and fail you all as my table is full right now. But there are three long episodes already in the blog at the moment 2 Likes |
Re: Weapons Formed Against Me by Gloriagee(f): 5:00pm On Mar 19 |
The blog link no dey work. Can you put as your personal signature |
Re: Weapons Formed Against Me by Qhio(f): 8:49pm On Mar 19 |
Welcome back π Would really loved it if Kingsley had a continuation but no worries Make I use this hold body π |
Re: Weapons Formed Against Me by Amarita(f): 7:46pm On Mar 21 |
Rosemary is finally back.. I've waited long enough..i can't access your blog link. Rosemary33: |
Re: Weapons Formed Against Me by Rosemary33: 7:09pm On Mar 23 |
One My name is Ifenkili by the way, and of course, I am a very beautiful woman. I'm sexy and I know it, thank you. Oh, oh, one more thing. My culinary prowess is top notch too. So, before you concluded that I couldn't cook and clean and that was why this particular guy treated me like an orphaned smoked fish in an evening market, cut me some slack, inugo? I met Diepreye at the wedding of one girl who was desperate to find a chief bridesmaid rich enough to foot her own bills. Yes, you heard me right. Auntie was looking for a money lady who would be able to buy her own gown and accessories and pay for her own make-up and hair styling. Unfortunately, the lot fell on me! She wasn't my friend. Just a random girl I met in my friend's hair salon. The werey presented herself as a charity case while begging my friend Ale to stand as her bridesmaid, swearing with A to Z and everything in between that she had no moneyβshe was paying for everything about the wedding...the hall, refreshments, cake and decorations, I could swear with my left butt cheek that she was buying the suit for the guy to. With my eyes glued to my phone that had brother Oghene's six "How are you...have you eaten?" WhatsApp messages spread on the screen and my mind arguing whether to curse the living daylight out of him and then block him or to just simply block him, I didn't pay much interest in the the conversation going on around me. Not until I felt a tap on my shoulder and heard a soft voice very close to me. "Auntie..." I lifted my head and it was the burden-bearing, bills-paying, loving bride-to-be. "Auntie..." First off, I didn't think I was way too older than she was. Two or three years older perhaps. So she shouldn't be addressing me as her auntie. With a patronizing smile on my face, I said, "My name is Ifenkili. Call me Ife." "Okay...eh...Ife. This auntie here said I should talk to you." "About..." I followed the finger she wielded like a weapon to where Aleruchi was stifling a grin. "She said you can be my bridesmβ" "Bride...w-what?" I shot Ale a look. For what nau? How could she suggest such a degrading thing? The last time I was anybody's bridesmaids was in 2020, I was 27. The wedding had ended in a free-for-all fight which was started by the groom's family who claimed that the food being served to the bride's family had more chunks of meat than theirs. The second to the last one didn't go well either. The couple divorced seven months after the wedding. The previous-previous one... The woman traveled abroad for further studies and got pregnant by a white dude. So, you see? Aside from the fact that at this age, I didn't want to bridesmaid any woman, I was beginning to think that I was a marriage crash in my former life. "Auntie, please. I don't have anyone." "What of your friends? Your family members?" "They will want me to buy them gowns and take care of them..." Before nkor? Wasn't it what you were supposed to do? Especially since it's obvious you were singlehandedly footing the wedding bill, you should take care of this too. But wait, why did I feel that this marriage would crash too? Now call me a hater or bearer of bad news, I know...I know... But I couldn't shake off the feeling that the marriage wasn't going to last. And God knew I didn't want to be part of it so when it finally crashed, I wouldn't add that to my name. "Ife, please..." Aleruchi added, drawing close. Girl if I wooze you!!! Ignoring my glare, she continued. "Come on now, girlfriend. Do this for the communityβ" "Which community?" "The girl's community nau." "Mba." I shook my head. Couldn't everyone see that this girl was doing pass herself and that was a recipe for failure? Like. She could shift some of the expenses she was shouldering to the lax of a man she was getting married to and then use the free money for the care of a friend or family member who would gladly pose as her bridesmaid. "Ah, Ife... Please nau. You can do this." "But I don't want to. Besides, I don't even know if I'll be around to attend the wedding." another besides, who walked up to a random lady and asked her to be the bridesmaid? "But Ife, agree first. See...see...she really needs help. And don't forget you may meet menβ" "Ale get out." I interrupted and burst out in laughter when the yeye girl made a face. "Seriously, Ife. This could be God about to finally connect you with your own man." "God has given all his eligible sons to his most dotted daughters. Nothing is left out there for people like us. Nothing but crayfish and sungu fish walking on two legs," I said with resignation, my mind making a backflip to Brother Oghene. No. He wasn't a crayfish and definitely not an azu sungu. A fine face that could stop breaths for seconds, a talking voice that made my secret places squirm, a perfect gentlemanβI heard. But he was a mechanic! Not only that, he wasn't polished, his English...oh Jesus wept. The dude hadn't overcome the accent problem that followed him from the villageβalways confusing letter letter S for C. To top it all, he was every church pastor's favorite person. Oh, should I also tell all the married women in the church adored him? Yes! Married women! Because he was what? Nice! A simp! Which girl wanted to be seen with a man like that? Not me, of course. "So, are you going to do it?" Ale asked. "Do what?" "Be the bridesmaid now. See, I am making the bride and her train of girls up. I promise to pay extra attention to you." "Idiot. I can make myself up," I replied. And so went the conversation. Back and forth, back and forth until I couldn't say no. It was another hour before I left there armed with the happy bride's phone number, a feeling of foolishness prickling my skin because, again, I had allowed myself to be talked into what I swore not to do again. And guess who I saw standing, with his back on the road, buying bole from Mama Amazing Grace, at the other side of the road as I was about to enter my car? Brother Oghene. Ah, chineke nna. Could one ever catch this guy clean and fresh, without this his grease coated cover-all, and dirty smeared skin on ordinary I've only seen him dress and smell nice on Sundays or evenings during church programs. I didn't wait for him to turn and see me, got no time to exchange pleasantries with someone who was at the bottom of the list of the men I'd date. You wouldn't call me vain now, would you? I talked to everyone no matter their looks, class, or education. But it was obvious what this guy wanted, and he seemed not to understand my rejection. Maybe I should change my style. Anyway. This story was about how I made the Depreye, right? 2 Likes |
Re: Weapons Formed Against Me by Rosemary33: 7:14pm On Mar 23 |
Two Sorrows, sorrows, Prayers Ife The next time someone would suggest that I become a chief bridesmaid for anyone ehn, ππππ πππ, the beating I would give that person...I would flatten that person to the ground and sit on his or her chest as my grandmother did to her ππ€π’ππ¦πππ last Christmas. Death would be too good for that person. Tell me why I just lost my newly acquired iPhone 13 Pro Max to a man I thought was one of the groomβs men but later realized he wasnβt. The dude happened to wear the same blue senator suit as the other guys, got himself busy lifting things and running errands like every other groomβs man while his eyes and mind ran to and fro like the biblical devil who presented himself in a meeting meant for just the sons of God, a meeting he wasnβt invited. The craziest thing was I couldnβt figure out if it was while I was running around like a headless chicken, trying to please the annoying bride who suddenly turned to Cruella de Vil of 101 Dalmatians immediately we stepped out of the hotel room where she was dressed up. Or while I was busy looking at the Bestman while realizing for the umpteenth time why God said; βItβs not good to be alone,β understanding why he created a second person, and praying that I didnβt fall tikiti-tapata rolling on the floor for that fine dudeβs charm. Thinking about it an hour later, after I cried my eyes out because of my lost phone, I should have allowed myself to fall because I got sprained trying not to. That would have counted for something I achieved attending this miserable wedding. Wiping my face to enter my car, I sniffled. I wasnβt going to let another teardrop again. Not like thisβdrenched from hair to toe by the vengeful rain that decided to let loose its fury immediately after the bridal march was announced. The uncaring downpour didnβt consider that I was already in a foul mood and didnβt need an additional shege as a toppling. Now, standing on the road with my hair messed up, my make-up, now a cacophony of colors running down my face, my sandals hanging on my fingers while my other hand held my dress up, I looked like a ditched understanding girlfriend. And why was Bro Oghene covering the event? Aside from being a mechanic, was he a professional cameraman too? He was the head of our churchβs communication department, yeah, I got that but...but...he did video coverage too? Again, remind me why the first thing he said to me, with a camera balanced on his shoulder, was to wipe something off my face. I did, thinking he was only trying to capture my face on his camera, and he wanted it flawless. βE never commot,β he said, adjusting the camera on his shoulder. I wiped again. And this man said, βNa your beauty nau, you no fit wipe am commot.β And left before I could gather my thoughts to give him a reply. Like...what? What sought of complement was that? He had sounded like an agbero in a motor park trying to woo a woman. I didnβt know whether to laugh or get angry cos although his crudeness irked me sometimes, he could be funny and nice and...and sweet...every old womanβs crush but definitely not relationship material. Not for me at least. βYouβre leaving already?β Eh-eh-eh... was that... βI heard what happened.β Itβs him! The hot as a hair dryer Bestman. I turned. I was going to smile then I remembered I was looking like someone who just escaped from Yabaleft and my face fell. Yeah right. Devil well done o. When I was finally about to meet a prince charming, someone who might give me something to take my mind off this miserable wedding, you chose to turn me into a clown. Sending rain to wash away my perfectly made-up face and ruin my dress. βI-Iβm so sorry this happened to you.β Losing my phone or the rain turning my face into a puddle of mess? βMy name is Depreye,β he said, extending his hand for a handshake. The way he spoke, his accent, hey, πππ€π’ππ π! This was what I wanted nau, the kind of man befitting of a girl like me. And to top it all, he oozed off money... βHello?β Oh, oh... Grabbing his hand, I summoned all the charming smiles I could muster. βMy name is Ifenkili.β βYou are Igbo?β Was that going to be a problem? I could tell him I was a heavenly citizen sent down to earth as an ambassador if that would get him relaxed. βAnambra I guess?β Tongue-tied, I nodded. βWow,β he said, sizing me up. βThereβs something about beautiful Igbo girls.β See ehn I could smell out flattery from a hundred miles away. And this one was it. However, I allowed myself to bask in it. βSo, about your phoneββ βOh, itβs gone nau,β I said, lowering my gaze. βThereβs nothing I can do about it.β βBut there is something I can do.β βReally?β Was he going to suggest that I should give him time to track it, or technically damage it so the thief wouldnβt be able to make use of it? βLet me get you another one.β What? βEh?β A beautiful smile spread across his lips on seeing my shock. βNo.β I shook my head. βNo, please, noββ βIβd love to,β he interrupted. Reaching out to take my shoes. Eh? A man took my shoes? A sexy-looking hunk? Now that was a queenly treatment ha-haaaa! βSeriously, Depreye. I can get myself another phone. I can afford it.β βWho said you canβt? But allow me to treat you like a lady. I want to get you a new phone. Then we can have lunch or dinner sometime...anytime you want.β His voice...so deep, sending sweet chills all over my body like the ripples upon a body of water, making it difficult for me to think. βYour car or mine?β he asked. And before I could reply, he added, βI drive a Mercedes Benz C-Class.β I read the pride in his voice, but it didnβt matter. Which man would look half the way this man looked, smell like crispy dollar notes, and wouldnβt be arrogant? βMine,β I said. Although Iβd love to ride in a BenzβIβd never ridden in one before, I wasnβt going to start acting senseless now because of whatβa car, and a handsome hunk. I was about to settle in the driverβs seat when I felt his hand on my shoulder. βLet me drive.β W-what? Iβd never given my car to anyone to drive before, anyone except my mother and Jekwu my twin brother. Maybe it was me being careful with my things or having trust issues when it came to allowing people to use my things, but I hated sharing my stuff with others, and that included my car. I turned to politely tell him no, but that smile, that disarming smile on his face. βOkay,β I said, handing my keys to him while taking my shoes from him. I caught a glimpse of Bro Oghene standing a distance away, hands folded a crossed his chest, watching usβme. He was looking at me. Was that a frown on his face? Well... none of my business. **** ππ π‘ππ§π That moment you looked at a guy and realized that he was another dead end. Just one date and she would be back to God like, βHello, hello, God. Itβs me again.β I waited for them to drive away before I turned and walked back into the reception hall. The wedding was over now, the couple was exchanging pleasantries with the remaining guests, the caterer seemed to be in a foul mood, and the brideβs mother wasnβt having it that there was no food remaining for her to take home. In fact, the whole brideβs family dey rek for the caterer who on her own πππππππ‘ πππ¦ πππ£π π‘πππ ππππ πππ ππππ . It was going to be a long argument that might escalate into a fight the way the whole thing was going, and Iβd love to watch. But no matter how funny it was, πΌβπ πππ‘π‘ππ ππππ π€ππ‘π¦π ππππ ππ πππ πππ€π ππππππ π‘ππ ππππ πππ πππ ππ ππ’ππ π‘. I placed the camera in my bag and looked around for Aloy, my assistant. The twenty-four years old fresh graduate with his Okpolo eye was a few feet away chyking one fine geh. I walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. βOniovo come pack up make we kawa.β The boy frowned. βBut bro Ogheneββ βI cannot stay a few more minutes here, my friend.β The girl, he didnβt want to leave her yet, I get. No wahala. βOya give me my films and everything in your possession. Meet me up in church so we can start editing. I need to be home before 8 p.m., for my online classes,β I said and his lips stretched in a smile. βBrother Oghene! Thank you so much, sir. Iβll meet you in church, I promise.β βHm.β I nodded. Glance at the nervous girl he was razzling. Chai! Young men, ππ’π π‘ π ππππ ππππππ π€ππ¦ ππ πππ π‘ πππ π‘ππππ ππππππ‘ ππππ π‘πππ π‘πππ πππ πππππ ππππ πππ π€ππ¦ π‘πππ ππ π ππππ ππ. Wasnβt it just yesterday that I gave this guy the whole ten thousand naira I was given for this job? It was supposed to be a free job. Emenike was my man and he needed help with the video coverage, said his wife insisted he took care of that one. So I promised to do it for him with my churchβs camera, but he had to drop something, ππ‘ πππ ππ‘ πππ ππ ππ π€πππ π‘ πππ π . He sent 10K which wasnβt enough. The hiring of our camera for an outside job was 30k. However, I wasnβt going to tell Emenike that. Iβd decided to pay the money for him as my man way he be. Some minutes later I was on a bolt ride heading back to church. And for no reason, my mind went back to her. Ife my Ibo babe. Ife fine ππππ ππππ ππ π€ππ¦ ππππ π€ππππ, ah-ah! And God, I liked her. From the first day, I set my eyes on her...no, not that day. I first noticed her early last year. She was worth a long stare but that was it. I didnβt feel anything for her until that night I had one crazy dream that had her in it. Iβd woken up with the thought of her filling my head. Throughout that day, I couldnβt get anything right because she was just there, π π‘πππ ππππ ππππ ππππ πππ π‘ππ ππππππ‘ ππ ππ¦ ππππ. And the next Sunday, I was looking for her in church. My heart couldnβt rest throughout the service. I wasnβt sure I heard a single word that was preached that day because, while pushing the camera tripod around the church, my eyes were roaming, searching. I didnβt know what it was, that sudden eagerness to see her, to have her look at me. And although we hardly exchanged more than a few words which seemed to be enough for me then, I didnβt mind. Days moved to weeks, weeks to months, and months to a year plus, yet Iβd not forgotten that dream and how I woke up with my heart beating faster and a stupid grin on my face. I wasnβt looking for a geh to marry or desiring to be in a relationship. Na money bin dey my mind abeg. I just wanted to concentrate on my mechanic work, and make a lot of money so I could finish paying for the half plot of land I wanted for my workshop. I also wanted to finish up with my online schooling. The thing don dey hard small, I couldnβt wait to graduate. But after that dream, it was impossible to look at her in church without feeling sweet tingles wash over me. Several times I wanted to approach her, several times my heart stopped beating, and words dried up in my head. So the only thing I ever did whenever our gaze locked was smile and smile like an idiot. It was crazy, I was crazy. It was passionate and as I looked out for her during every church program, I felt like nothing in my life could ever be okay until I saw her and smile again like a fool. I knew she didnβt like me. Not that much. She hardly kept her eyes on me for more than a few seconds. And when she smiled back at me, it was just out of courtesy. I knew. But I liked her still. I also knew that even though I was trying to establish somethingβfriendship for a start, I got her number from a church member and started chatting with her, I still felt like she didnβt rate me that much. Maybe I should give it all up. But oh...I liked her. I told God about it. If only he would make her look at me the same way I looked at her, maybe...just maybe... The cab driver pulled into the church compound and I stepped down, paid, and walked, with the camera bag inside, into the church. I thought of the young man she left with today and wondered where they might be going, what they could be doing. I saw the way he was looking at her throughout the wedding ceremony ππππ πππ π€ππ ππ’ππ¦ ππ’ππ ππ ππππ, ππππ ππ π€ππ ππ π£ππππππ ππππππ πππ π π€πππ πππ π€ππ‘π π€ππππ. No, I wasnβt jealous, or hating, but I could see beyond his fine suit and perfect English. ππππ‘ ππ’π¦ πππ¦ π ππππ ππππππ, πππ ππ πππ πππππ πππ π‘πππ πππ. A coded thief and a worthless fellow. But sadly, Ife babe didnβt see it. Like she didnβt see that brother Michael in the choir, that one that always took song solos, wain dey like to show imself, the one she eagerly jumped into a relationship with some months ago, was an idiot who only wanted to have his way with her and bolt. Yes, I knew so much about her life and relationship choices. I had an interest in her, and somehow, I kept getting messages about her, seeing her with these men in my dreams even before she started going out with them. And in those dreams, it never ended well. Just like this one. I saw it last night. And as soon as I saw the guy today, I knew he was another dead end. 2 Likes |
Re: Weapons Formed Against Me by Rosemary33: 7:18pm On Mar 23 |
Gloriagee:wow, really. Let me do something about it please. I will get back to you with the correct one. 1 Like |
Re: Weapons Formed Against Me by Rosemary33: 7:22pm On Mar 23 |
Qhio:No vex. I am developing Kingsley's story into a full book for publishing. A lot has changed in it and so much more has been added π |
Re: Weapons Formed Against Me by Rosemary33: 7:24pm On Mar 23 |
Amarita:Sorry about this please. I didn't know it wouldn't work. Let me try and do something else about it. I'll get back to you all with the working link. 2 Likes |
Re: Weapons Formed Against Me by Sammieblack101: 9:42am On Mar 24 |
"In a world where countless children are robbed of their innocence and education due to displacement and hardship, one organization stands committed to making a difference." "This past week, Drum for Positive Change Foundation embarked on a journey of compassion and empowerment. We visited an Internally Displaced Persons Camp, where families are grappling with the harsh realities of displacement." "Our mission was simple yet profound: to provide sustenance and support to those in need. And with your unwavering support, we were able to do just that." "Thanks to your generous contributions, we were able to provide nutritious meals to the children and sanitary pads to the younger girls, ensuring their basic needs are met, and their dignity preserved." "But our impact goes beyond mere provisions. Through our presence and interactions, we brought smiles to the faces of these resilient children, reminding them that they are not forgotten and that a brighter future awaits." "Join us in our mission to empower children through education and support. Together, we can create a world where every child has the opportunity to thrive. Visit our website or donate today to be a part of positive change. Thank you for your compassion and generosity." 1 Like
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