I Use to remember my Parent telling me, Marriage is a Blessing, but i don't think that applies to the kind f marriage we have now, I've read a lot of Marriage story and majority of them are disastrous, & even some come out to state their marriage story on NL and seek advice.

What I want to know is;

1. Why do people have problem with their marriage, is it due to early marriage and them not taking their time?

2. Is it due to, not enough time of courtship & if yes, how long do you suggest the courtship should be? and,

3. When is the right time/age to get married?

Marriage has everything to do with maturity and nothing much of age. If you still view the success or failure of marriage as having to do with age, then you are viewing it wrongly.
When I say maturity, i mean the ability to relate, tolerate, accept another individual sharing your life completely with you, this doesnt come completely with age.

Odunnu:

Marriage has everything to do with maturity and nothing much of age. If you still view the success or failure of marriage as having to do with age, then you are viewing it wrongly.
When I say maturity, i mean the ability to relate, tolerate, accept another individual sharing your life completely with you, this doesnt come completely with age.

Noted, but why do majority of early marriage fail?? , and taking maturity apart, what age do you suggest and what should be put in place before marriage?

My grandma married at 17years and she is still married till today. Its not about age, but if you insist on an age range, i'll say between 23 -26years is a perfect range. its expected that she would have been matured emotionally to handle marriage.

Odunnu:

My grandma married at 17years and she is still married till today. Its not about age, but if you insist on an age range, i'll say between 23 -26years is a perfect range. its expected that she would have been matured emotionally to handle marriage.

Your talking about your Grandma that got married decades(6-7) if i'm right with my calculation, Im more concerned about the marriage of our Generation and the new Millennium!. & Mind you, some women at the age you stated still ain't matured enough to handle their marriage and still seek help from either their mum or someone else to make decisions,

Thats why I stressed it that its not about the age. You insisted on a range.

Dats why outstrip said maturity not age. Mst marriages fail today cos of lack of understdng. Maturity is a state of mind

Odunnu:

Thats why I stressed it that its not about the age. You insisted on a range.

Alright I get!,

ng4am:

Dats why outstrip said maturity not age. Mst marriages fail today cos of lack of understdng. Maturity is a state of mind

is there anymore reason apart from understanding why marriage fail?

I dont think so cos if both parties understand themselves and what marriage is al about it wont fail. My opinion

ng4am:

I dont think so cos if both parties understand themselves and what marriage is al about it wont fail. My opinion

Noted as well!,
One more question, in your own opinion, how many years of courtship will u suggest?

Length of courtship does not determine how well a marriage will last, but to me at least 6months

ng4am:

Length of courtship does not determine how well a marriage will last, but to me at least 6months

Atleast six months for you? ; Thank God I'm not you.

^why ?

Odunnu has done justice to the topic.I married at 23 and have NO regrets whatsoever.

Some of the reasons why marriages fail IMO are:
People don't look well before saying "I do". So many important qualities are not sought for or taken for granted while superficial things and things bound to fade(beauty,booobs size) are made top priority.
People assume that just love is enough to make a marriage work while in reality love can take you through some years but other things like mutual and self respect for self and partner,communication and tolerance would take you all the way to the end.

Odunnu:

My grandma married at 17years and she is still married till today. Its not about age, but if you insist on an age range, i'll say between 23 -26years is a perfect range. its expected that she would have been matured emotionally to handle marriage.

I was married before 23

jennykadry:

I was married before 23

And your advise for we that are yet to be?

^^^^ Marry your soulmate simple. I was still in school when I got married and finished studies in my husbands house. I did not even go part time, I did it full time. It is all about marrying that person that is truly yours.

I love early marriage, always have and always will as long as they are both mature enough to handle challenges.

@ topic
Must you marry @ 40? I got married when i was 23 and my wife was 18, a big deal? and that couldn't even stop any of us from pursuing our main objectives in life.

jennykadry:

^^^^ Marry your soulmate simple. I was still in school when I got married and finished studies in my husbands house. I did not even go part time, I did it full time. It is all about marrying that person that is truly yours.

I love early marriage, always have and always will as long as they are both mature enough to handle challenges.

My Soul Mate ; I doubt if there's is one out there!, Cos the ones i'm seeing right now are EOP(Extremely Out Of Point), But Giving up on Love, i don't think so, i sure i will meet the right person, thanks!,

Freiburger:

@ topic
Must you marry @ 40? I got married when i was 23 and my wife was 18, a big deal? and that couldn't even stop any of us from pursuing our main objectives in life.

Married at the age of 40?!, I don't mind as far as am with the right person, Marriage is all about making a wise choice i believe, Thou Its not my ultimate thing, just trying to educate myself that's all,

Regardless of what any of your answers tell you, it's a good idea to wait to marry until you are at LEAST 27. There is
a time around your mid twenties where men and women have mini "mid-life" crises. Priorities change, and personality
changes and things that seem right and good at 23 or 24, just do not make sense for the rest of your days. Trust me.
If you force it, you'll regret it. That doesn't mean you cant be in a committed relationship, or even engaged. Just not married.

minute:

Regardless of what any of your answers tell you, it's a good idea to wait to marry until you are at LEAST 27. There is
a time around your mid twenties where men and women have mini "mid-life" crises. Priorities change, and personality
changes and things that seem right and good at 23 or 24, just do not make sense for the rest of your days. Trust me.
If you force it, you'll regret it. That doesn't mean you cant be in a committed relationship, or even engaged. Just not married.

Best so far for me, Thanks, I used to think about the same thing, like being more comfortable in my own place and being financially stable to be able to support the family, cos i'm not ready to get married in a rented apartment or get married on a low income or even bring to life kids i can't care for, I pledge to get married in my early 30's cos i really want time for my bachelor life to experience things, some friends criticize that and some even swear i won't be able to hold on for that long which perplex me,

jennykadry:

I was married before 23

You know, I didnt want to specify an age because I dont believe its about age. My cousin married at 19yrs, that was 2years ago she looks very happy in marriage, the elder sister married last year at 24, dont lemme bring stories of what she's told me in a marriage less than 18months old.

Odunnu:

You know, I didnt want to specify an age because I dont believe its about age. My cousin married at 19yrs, that was 2years ago she looks very happy in marriage, the elder sister married last year at 24, dont lemme bring stories of what she's told me in a marriage less than 18months old.

I get exactly what you mean by that!, But am totally against getting married early.

Its ok. For whatever reasons best known to you thats your opinion, its your right. I also a know a man who i'm sure is close to 45years, never been married but desires to marry someday. The cash isnt the wahala and if you ask him, he'll tell you his wife hasnt come yet that if he marries any of the women around him he'll kill them with his bare hands. He believes none of the women around him is mature enough to tolerate him. Maybe thats you sef

ayolinger:

I get exactly what you mean by that!, But am totally against getting married early.

There is nothing wrong in getting married early. If you are matured enough and have the complete structure to care for your family, then go ahead by all means. Some people wait till they are 40 yrs old and still don't make good wives or husbands.

I got married at 22 and I will say there is no ideal age for marriage as long as you have gone pass that teenage years. Marriage is all about maturity, which sumtyms doesnt actually come till yu are actually married. I must confess that before i got married I didnt act mature where as now I do. N also marriage is about determination and commitment n u have to b able to take sumones shit really.

I couldn't agree more with the last 3 comments,

But I'm worried about these new Generation/Millennium Girls, that claim to be too expensive and not even worth shi shi, I've got the confidence to approach any girl but the fact still remains I'm finding the one that is worth my "TIME, TEARS and A GOOD COMMUNICATOR" Those 3 are high on my list and don't want a process whereby I will court a girl for 6month and jump into marriage with her(Out Of Point to ME),

^^^^^^^^Ayo you would be surprised that all those gals you have in mind, none of them might be your ''soul mate'', the least person you have in mind usually ends up to be that perfect match for you. If you have an ''idol'' in mind (saying this is what and what i want from my spouse) and go ahead to search for that partner using the criteria you already carved out for yourself then it becomes purely physical, and the spiritual aspect is definitely not included, My advice for you is that, if you are a chriatian or muslim, go on your knees or sit on your mat, write out all the qualities you want your future spouse to possess, and pray fervently, You will definitely meet that bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh.

//.

OP,

yeah, it has noreen to do with age bro.

I got married when i was 16 and my wife was 14 and we've already had our 3rd baby  

Because we were young, alot of hearsay was in the air, we absconded and moved to Chile.

Now I am my Local Government Chairman!  

Truth be told, we now run a marriage councilling agency. So if you need an professional advise, you can visit my website. we accept mastercard, visa, Amex and paypal only.  

Like someone said, marriage has everythig to do with maturity(of the mind, body and pocket). Don't rush into mmarriage just because you now have six packs.