Good day Nairalanders. Happy New year to everyone.

I am writing this piece cuz I have been having a general problem known as 'PENIAPHOBIA'. I am a hardworking married, well-to-do man. I have a great family. However, I have this problem known as 'fear of poverty'. It is not that I am poor, I am averagely OK. But almost every hour, I am filled with thoughts of being without a penny in the nearest future. Reasons: I have seen lots of rich men that once had houses, owned cars; but now living without even a bicycle.

Moreover, I was not born with a silver spoon and I obviously know the feeling of having nothing. I read articles about conquering the fear, but I am still not quenching it. It is not as if I am accepting that poverty is a necessity, but I am always afraid about, 'WHAT IF'. This, peradventure, does help me in investing the little I have, but it still not helping me live a fulfilled life. My thoughts of poverty is bigger than thoughts of success. I am limited and it is not helping. Please do advise me. Please and please, I would appreciate if you do not nag because in one way or the other, everyone goes through this thought in life. Thanks

I often think about poverty too sometimes, but this is because i grew up poor i think.

Also, i did not have it easy even as an adult.

However, if the fear is becoming debilitating to the extent that its interfering with your daily life, then you might need to get help.

Or find a routine that can help take your mind off it - eg farming, gardening, assisting the less priviledged, etc.

I know in nigeria its fairly common for someone to be rich today and poor tomorrow.

What Im about to say is horrible for sure but perharps thinking about death and eternity might help.

Make conscious efforts to remember that one day you'd be gone and all the money wont mean a thing.Vanity.

u no dey fear Hellfire?

@maninmood

For the first time i am reading about somebody who shares the same fear as i do.

Grew up in deep poverty and crime around me in lagos(about 80% of my childhood friends were either killed by the police or died in funny circumstances)and some how i escaped all this and eventually got some education and even went further to study in the UK by sheer luck and Work in the US now.

I have a great job and great life but always afraid for the fear of failure and poverty.

This is deep pyschologically and i just cant be able to check it off my head and its not funny at all,i have read the bible and listened to sermons on letting go of the past but how does one forget what you can think about?its in the head.

One logical conclusion i have come to is that when i start having kids i will ensure they dont grow up lacking or grow up around a crime infested area because the effect on them might be like the one i am having now,which basically is not healthy.

I have one of the best jobs in the world,have one or two dollar saved,very educated,drive a nice car,an American citizen,live in a nice house and yet i keep having this feeling everyday that i will lose everthing and go back to how i started life.

Talked one time to my pastor and we prayed over it but yet anytime i see somebody at the gas station begging for money, it will bring out memories of how i grew up and how i lacked for almost 25 years.

Thinking of approaching a Pyschologist to talk to but the eventual battle is mine to make and stop thinking i will lose everything and return back to poverty in Nigeria.

Nairalanders, there is nothing funny about what this poster put up here and there are people like us suffering like this,very much afraid of going back to poverty and how we started life.

Poverty is a state of mind. A feeling of insecurity and depression. Some say it is an ailment.

Can I really be wealthy? Yes, there is no restriction to who can be wealthy.

To escape the trap of poverty, you should read books that inspire you, read articles on problems you encounter for solution. Learn from the experience of others. Read biographies of your role models. Only walk with people that add to your life, follow your dreams.

Be careful of what you look at and what you hear.

Guide your mind with all diligence.

@poster
first of all you have to understand that ALL PEOPLE have fears, the differences in us all is that some rise above their fears while other (like yourself) become slaves to their fear and subsequently, live a shadow of what they could ever achieve.

also, comparing yourself with the ones that failed in society rather than seeing yourself as the success story of society says a lot about your issue. i guess we can all confirm that you lack confidence in yourself FIRST, you ONLY value life in monetary terms SECOND, and last but not least, you have no one in your life with whom you can share this heavy burden (that is "solely" in your head). i mean, here you are counting your "possible" problems instead of counting your blessing and therefore enjoying life FULLY.

there is ONLY one way out: it's to accept that being poor could happen BUT with the experiences/education etc that you have, you will make it through. no big deal really.

if your fears are bigger than your desire for success/happiness in life then i suggest you quickly go and see a professional.

i will also suggest you read a great book by Robert Green and 50cent called THE 50TH LAW, here are a few passages from that book about fearlessness:

[b]- "FEAR is the greatest enemy a man can have. I know some of you are afraid to listen to the truth — you have been raised on fear and lies. But I am going to preach to you the truth until you are free of that fear…" — Malcolm X
But you have to understand: No one is born this way. It is unnatural to not feel fear. It is a process that requires challenges and tests. What separates those who go under and those who rise above adversity is the strength of their will and their hunger for power…

- See Things for What They Are aka Intense Realism. Reality can be rather harsh. Your days are numbered. It takes constant effort to carve a place for yourself in this ruthlessly competitive world and hold on to it. People can be treacherous. They bring endless battles into your life. Your task is to resist the temptation to wish it were all different; instead you must fearlessly accept these circumstances, even embrace them. By focusing your attention on what is going on around you, you will gain a sharp appreciation for what makes some people advance and others fall behind. By seeing through people’s manipulations, you can turn them around. The firmer your grasp on reality, the more power you will have to alter it for your purposes.

- Make Everything Your Own aka Self-Reliance. When you work for others, you are at their mercy. They own your work; they own you. Your creative spirit is squashed. What keeps you in such positions is a fear of having to sink or swim on your own. Instead you should have a greater fear of what will happen to you if you remain dependent on others for power. Your goal in every maneuver in life must be ownership, working the corner for yourself. When it is yours, it is yours to lose — you are more motivated, more creative, more alive. The ultimate power in life is to be completely self-reliant, completely yourself.

- Turn shiit into Sugar aka Opportunism. Every negative situation contains the possibility for something positive, an opportunity. It is how you look at it that matters. Your lack of resources can be an advantage, forcing you to be more inventive with the little that you have. Losing a battle can allow you to frame yourself as the sympathetic underdog. Do not let fears make you wait for a better moment or become conservative. If there are circumstances you cannot control, make the best of them. It is the ultimate alchemy to transform all such negatives into advantages and power.

- Keep Moving  aka Calculated Momentum. In the present there is constant change and so much we cannot control. If you try to micromanage it all, you lose even greater control in the long run. The answer is to let go and move with the chaos that presents itself to you — from within it, you will find endless opportunities that elude most people. Don’t give others the chance to pin you down; keep moving and changing your appearances to fit the environment. If you encounter walls or boundaries, slip around them. Do not let anything disrupt your flow.

- Know When to Be Bad aka Aggression. You will always find yourself among the aggressive and the passive-aggressive who seek to harm you in some way. You must get over any general fears you have of confronting people or you will find it extremely difficult to assert yourself in the face of those who are more cunning and ruthless. Before it is too late you must master the art of knowing when and how to be bad — using deception, manipulation and outright force at the appropriate moments. Everyone operates with a flexible morality when it comes to their self-interest—you are simply making this more conscious and effective.

- Lead from the Front aka Authority In any group. the person on top consciously or unconsciously sets the tone. If leaders are fearful, hesitant to take any risks, or overly concerned for their ego and reputation, then this invariably filters its way through the entire group and makes effective action impossible. Complaining and haranguing people to work harder has a counterproductive effect. You must adopt the opposite style: imbue your troops with the proper spirit through your actions, not words. They see you working harder than anyone, holding yourself to the highest standards, taking risks with confidence, and making tough decisions. This inspires and binds the group together. In these democratic times, you must practice what you preach.

- Know Your Environment from the Inside Out aka Connection. Most people think first of what they want to ex- press or make, then find the audience for their idea. You must work the opposite angle, thinking first of the public. You need to keep your focus on their changing needs, the trends that are washing through them. beginning with their demand, you create the appropriate supply. Do not be afraid of people’s criticisms — without such feedback your work will be too personal and delusional. You must maintain as close a relationship to your environment as possible, getting an inside “feel” for what is happening around you. Never lose touch with your base.

- Respect the Process aka Mastery. The fools in life want things fast and easy — money, success, attention. Boredom is their great enemy and fear. Whatever they manage to get slips through their hands as fast as it comes in. You, on the other hand, want to outlast your rivals. You are building the foundation for something that can continue to expand. To make this happen, you will have to serve an apprenticeship. You must learn early on to endure the hours of practice and drudgery, knowing that in the end all of that time will translate into a higher pleasure — mastery of a craft and of yourself. Your goal is to reach the ultimate skill level — an intuitive feel for what must come next.

- Push Beyond Your Limits aka Self-Belief. Your sense of who you are will determine your actions and what you end up getting in life. If you see your reach as limited, that you are mostly helpless in the face of so many difficulties, that it is best to keep your ambitions low, then you will receive the little that you expect. knowing this dynamic, you must train yourself for the opposite — ask for more, aim high, and believe that you are destined for something great. Your sense of self-worth comes from you alone , never the opinion of others. With a rising confidence in your abilities, you will take risks that will increase your chances of success. People follow those who know where they are going, so cultivate an air of certainty and boldness.

- Confront Your Mortality aka the Sublime. In the face of our inevitable mortality we can do one of two things. we can attempt to avoid the thought at all costs, clinging to the illusion that we have all the time in the world. Or we can confront this reality, accept and even embrace it, converting our consciousness of death into something positive and active. in adopting such a fearless philosophy, we gain a sense of proportion, become able to separate what is petty from what is truly important. Knowing our days to be numbered, we have a sense of urgency and mission. We can appreciate life all the more for its impermanence. If we can overcome the fear of death, then there is nothing left to fear.[/b]

What are your financial goals? Do you have a number you want to reach to feel comfortable about your future? What have you put in place to achieve that goal. I think if you try to think logically about it that it will help. Break down the problem. Figure out solutions. Write it down. Even if it is 20 pages long. Write it down then slowly break it down. I think if you have something to go back to to see if you are on track and staying on track you will be more confident.


There is nothing to fear but fear itself

After reading your post, somehow I sense that you fear "corruption" and not poverty.  You fear what you have being taken away from you somehow.  It sounds like you fear being "undermined" somehow.

You have done so much to get to where you are, you have dollars put away, a home, a car, you are a citizen in the most powerful country "to this date", to me it is more a fear of what you have achieved, being taken away.

Do you not feel that you "deserve" what you have accomplished?  God says a "workman is worthy of his hire" = are you not worthy of your hire? 

I suggest that you focus on solidifying your position where-ever you are, continue to work on magnifying that success you have demonstrated to get you where you are today. 

Don't just invest in companies without, continue to invest in yourself and your own ideas, and relax my friend, everything and everyone is not corrupt.  Many of us have been where you have been.

maninmood:

Good day Nairalanders. Happy New year to everyone.

I am writing this piece cuz I have been having a general problem known as 'PENIAPHOBIA'. I am a hardworking married, well-to-do man. I have a great family. However, I have this problem known as 'fear of poverty'. It is not that I am poor, I am averagely OK. But almost every hour, I am filled with thoughts of being without a penny in the nearest future. Reasons: I have seen lots of rich men that once had houses, owned cars; but now living without even a bicycle.

Moreover, I was not born with a silver spoon and I obviously know the feeling of having nothing. I read articles about conquering the fear, but I am still not quenching it. It is not as if I am accepting that poverty is a necessity, but I am always afraid about, 'WHAT IF'. This, peradventure, does help me in investing the little I have, but it still not helping me live a fulfilled life. My thoughts of poverty is bigger than thoughts of success. I am limited and it is not helping. Please do advise me. Please and please, I would appreciate if you do not nag because in one way or the other, everyone goes through this thought in life. Thanks

Have seen some of your posts in the property section, you have made some solid wise and shrewd investment moves, so i'd prolly suggest talking therapy, if you are not averse to it.

@op,

"Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."  - Phil 4:6-7 ("be careful" = be anxious, for nothing)

Humbly ask GOD for help, believing that HE in HIS goodness and mercy will open doors for you to earn, and glorify HIM.  Work as hard as you can, and i pray GOD may bless you efforts. "But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him." - Heb 11:6 

-----
"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." - Matt 6:33

MRbrownJAY:

[b]- "FEAR is the greatest enemy a man can have. I know some of you are afraid to listen to the truth — you have been raised on fear and lies. But I am going to preach to you the truth until you are free of that fear…" — Malcolm X
But you have to understand: No one is born this way. It is unnatural to not feel fear. It is a process that requires challenges and tests. What separates those who go under and those who rise above adversity is the strength of their will and their hunger for power…

- See Things for What They Are aka Intense Realism. Reality can be rather harsh. Your days are numbered. It takes constant effort to carve a place for yourself in this ruthlessly competitive world and hold on to it. People can be treacherous. They bring endless battles into your life. Your task is to resist the temptation to wish it were all different; instead you must fearlessly accept these circumstances, even embrace them. By focusing your attention on what is going on around you, you will gain a sharp appreciation for what makes some people advance and others fall behind. By seeing through people’s manipulations, you can turn them around. The firmer your grasp on reality, the more power you will have to alter it for your purposes.

- Make Everything Your Own aka Self-Reliance. When you work for others, you are at their mercy. They own your work; they own you. Your creative spirit is squashed. What keeps you in such positions is a fear of having to sink or swim on your own. Instead you should have a greater fear of what will happen to you if you remain dependent on others for power. Your goal in every maneuver in life must be ownership, working the corner for yourself. When it is yours, it is yours to lose — you are more motivated, more creative, more alive. The ultimate power in life is to be completely self-reliant, completely yourself.

- Turn shiit into Sugar aka Opportunism. Every negative situation contains the possibility for something positive, an opportunity. It is how you look at it that matters. Your lack of resources can be an advantage, forcing you to be more inventive with the little that you have. Losing a battle can allow you to frame yourself as the sympathetic underdog. Do not let fears make you wait for a better moment or become conservative. If there are circumstances you cannot control, make the best of them. It is the ultimate alchemy to transform all such negatives into advantages and power.

- Keep Moving  aka Calculated Momentum. In the present there is constant change and so much we cannot control. If you try to micromanage it all, you lose even greater control in the long run. The answer is to let go and move with the chaos that presents itself to you — from within it, you will find endless opportunities that elude most people. Don’t give others the chance to pin you down; keep moving and changing your appearances to fit the environment. If you encounter walls or boundaries, slip around them. Do not let anything disrupt your flow.

- Know When to Be Bad aka Aggression. You will always find yourself among the aggressive and the passive-aggressive who seek to harm you in some way. You must get over any general fears you have of confronting people or you will find it extremely difficult to assert yourself in the face of those who are more cunning and ruthless. Before it is too late you must master the art of knowing when and how to be bad — using deception, manipulation and outright force at the appropriate moments. Everyone operates with a flexible morality when it comes to their self-interest—you are simply making this more conscious and effective.

- Lead from the Front aka Authority In any group. the person on top consciously or unconsciously sets the tone. If leaders are fearful, hesitant to take any risks, or overly concerned for their ego and reputation, then this invariably filters its way through the entire group and makes effective action impossible. Complaining and haranguing people to work harder has a counterproductive effect. You must adopt the opposite style: imbue your troops with the proper spirit through your actions, not words. They see you working harder than anyone, holding yourself to the highest standards, taking risks with confidence, and making tough decisions. This inspires and binds the group together. In these democratic times, you must practice what you preach.

- Know Your Environment from the Inside Out aka Connection. Most people think first of what they want to ex- press or make, then find the audience for their idea. You must work the opposite angle, thinking first of the public. You need to keep your focus on their changing needs, the trends that are washing through them. beginning with their demand, you create the appropriate supply. Do not be afraid of people’s criticisms — without such feedback your work will be too personal and delusional. You must maintain as close a relationship to your environment as possible, getting an inside “feel” for what is happening around you. Never lose touch with your base.

- Respect the Process aka Mastery. The fools in life want things fast and easy — money, success, attention. Boredom is their great enemy and fear. Whatever they manage to get slips through their hands as fast as it comes in. You, on the other hand, want to outlast your rivals. You are building the foundation for something that can continue to expand. To make this happen, you will have to serve an apprenticeship. You must learn early on to endure the hours of practice and drudgery, knowing that in the end all of that time will translate into a higher pleasure — mastery of a craft and of yourself. Your goal is to reach the ultimate skill level — an intuitive feel for what must come next.

- Push Beyond Your Limits aka Self-Belief. Your sense of who you are will determine your actions and what you end up getting in life. If you see your reach as limited, that you are mostly helpless in the face of so many difficulties, that it is best to keep your ambitions low, then you will receive the little that you expect. knowing this dynamic, you must train yourself for the opposite — ask for more, aim high, and believe that you are destined for something great. Your sense of self-worth comes from you alone , never the opinion of others. With a rising confidence in your abilities, you will take risks that will increase your chances of success. People follow those who know where they are going, so cultivate an air of certainty and boldness.

- Confront Your Mortality aka the Sublime. In the face of our inevitable mortality we can do one of two things. we can attempt to avoid the thought at all costs, clinging to the illusion that we have all the time in the world. Or we can confront this reality, accept and even embrace it, converting our consciousness of death into something positive and active. in adopting such a fearless philosophy, we gain a sense of proportion, become able to separate what is petty from what is truly important. Knowing our days to be numbered, we have a sense of urgency and mission. We can appreciate life all the more for its impermanence. If we can overcome the fear of death, then there is nothing left to fear.[/b]

Extracted from Robert Greene and 50 Cent’s new book The 50th Law, published by Profile Books

Richvkunt:

^^^
Hello shy one,
Nice and intelligent concept of the OPs fears.
Happy New year to you and yours.
Where have you been?

1)  I had been working on Facebook with the NL website redesign group - I was working on the "content" for the website and prior to submitting the "content" I was involved in a serious car accident - so I was forced to withdraw from everything, still badly bruised and sore and with help from my therapist, I will be ready to land in Nigeria in January.  God be praised in time to meet the container I shipped the day after Thanksgiving.

So this week is the first week I have been able to log in, read and respond.

So Richy Rich - how have you been?  I hope you are having a wonderful holiday.  I am just grateful to be here and I have had a very quiet, peaceful and restful holiday.  My family isn't really happy with me, as I have turned down all invitations, I truly just value my peace, my serenity and my quiet more than people, faces, music, noise and revelers.  I have really loved this holiday so crazily the accident worked very well for me.  I tire of so many people clawing at me all the time.

What has your holiday been like for you?

Richvkunt:

Holidays were okay.
Sorry about the accident,hope you are getting better?
Once again Missed your posts,so I say welcome back.
Wishing you and yours a happy new year once again.

Yes, much better. Kind regards to you and yours.

The fear of poverty can be solve,come to me all who labor and over burden,and i will give you rest.I know what solve your problem immediately...
Contact me and it will be over...email: finacilmasta@yahoo.com