armed robbers entered obinna's house so he called the police;

obinna: abeg this be the police? (whispered so the robbers wont hear)
police:yes na, wetin happen?

obinna:abeg robbers don enter my house , 5 of them looking fierce with guns (still whispering)
police:may u speak louder!!

obinna:chei! i say robbers enter my house!!

police:so what?

obinna:make u come n fight dem na?

police:you no be man?. . .nonsense !*hangs up*







obinna fainted!!

do u have to duplicate the trash, thinking it will make sense?

mtchew

police men!!!!!

swtchicgurl: do u have to duplicate the trash, thinking it will make sense?

mtchew

guy, y dont u quit hiding behind this sttuppid female id n face me squarely? or u dey fear me??

rotten mind!!

#yawns out louuddd!# YOL

SHITTZ On BEDSHEET episode 1

nkem had been married to his wife ivy for three years without a child.HE consulted and was told it was the cause of his witch mother in the village.
this angered nkem so much that he bought a big cane and went to the village.
when he got there, he saw his mother sitting on the laps of his father papa nkem playing romance under a tree.nkem pushed his mama on the ground n began giving her several strokes of the cane.
papa nkem tried to stop him but . .
watchout for 2

^Anxiously waitin. .

SHiTTZ on BEDShEEt episode 2
. . .nkem was too strong for his father. "nkem So after all i spent on you since your childhood, is this my reward?" papa nkem querried "tell me now i will pay you, mtcheew!" nkem replied.
so after series of caning he left for lagos.
three weeks later, ivy was alone in the house when papa nkem visited.he requested to lodge at their bedroom which ivy accepted.he took papa nkem to their bedroom where he lodged for about two hours.
after two hours, papa nkem left. .

3

Kai this guy's case is just hopeless.

shITtZ ON BEDSHEEt episode 3.

now soon nkem was back from the office.he was quickly greeted with the news of his father's visit by ivy.Nkem was sad as he had wished to meet his dad n apologise.they made for the bedroom to cool off and relax but after entering the room, guess what. . .

insert disc 4

SHITTZ ON bEdSHeEt episode 4

. . .they entered and saw a huge mountain
-
-
-

-

-

-

-

-
-

-


-

of shittz on their white bed sheet with houseflies all over the room with the inscription in shittz on the bedsheet "nkem, the battle has just began. . .signed your father"


end of story!!



thank you!.




i hope u liked it?




i am ur jokes president!





bye!






see ya!




lol




hehe







one luv







cheers




dont hate





happy easter





*farts twice*

I have always said this and i will repeat it again! Grow up bin gbagbo! You are just a kid! This was the same thing i told dani1luv and he deleted my posts on his stupid thread just because he is a mod... You guys are downgrading the reputation of the jokes section of nairaland... A visitor would be right if he said the jokes section is made up of a bunch of young iddiioots after going through most threads. I'm so disappointed in you gbagbo! Please for God's sakes, there are other ways to be funny than showing your silly/unfunny character. Thank you!

hakunajay: I have always said this and i will repeat it again! Grow up bin gbagbo! You are just a kid! This was the same thing i told dani1luv and he deleted my posts on his stupid thread just because he is a mod... You guys are downgrading the reputation of the jokes section of nairaland... A visitor would be right if he said the jokes section is made up of a bunch of young iddiioots after going through most threads. I'm so disappointed in you gbagbo! Please for God's sakes, there are other ways to be funny than showing your silly/unfunny character. Thank you!

What a way to discipline a self celebrated jokes "presidente"

Na wa 4 dis yoke ooo

. . Me love them. . .welldone jare Bin

bunmioguns: . . Me love them. . .welldone jare Bin

thanks bunmi, these are y i call u the 3 wisemen (eldav, donkollione and bunmioguns)

@vicky, will u marry me pls?

vicoloni: @vicky, will u marry me pls?

I comment my reserve

good friday

a bus travelling to onitsha broke down on the way so all passengers got don to push it.
one gentleman isolated himself with his hands in his pockets watching.this infuriated the othe other passengers so they began agitating, murmuring n complaining.
the gentleman got annoyed, brought his hands and yelled"these hands go fit push anything? nonsense!"







the gentleman was a lepper!







all the passengers fainted.








the driver died instantly!!

bin gbagbo: good friday

a bus travelling to onitsha broke down on the way so all passengers got don to push it.
one gentleman isolated himself with his hands in his pockets watching.this infuriated the othe other passengers so they began agitating, murmuring n complaining.
the gentleman got annoyed, brought his hands and yelled"these hands go fit push anything? nonsense!"







the gentleman was a lepper!







all the passengers fainted.








the driver died instantly!!

u can do beta

Sorry, did u say a joke was here. Still can't find one. WHERE IS THE JOKE PLS.

NO AMOUNT OF PERSECUTION AND SUPPLICATION CAN HINDER MY PROGRESS HERE ON NAIRALAND!!!

true shtory

a madman entered church n was misbehaving.
the pastor asked the strong men in the church to catch him n bring him.
pastor n other prayer warriors prayed n prayed n prayed till the madman was healed.
the madman then requested to sing one song to glorify God so they gave him the mic
he began;

"oleku, tell me something wey i no fit doo. . . .feeling the boy, feeling feeling the boy ee. . ."




pastor fainted!

the madman pulled a knife and everyone took to their heel

Some of the jokes are funny while others are just nonsense

Bin gbagbo,i really enjoyed this one.Could not resist the urge to laugh.Thanks for sharing!

Why everybody dey faint for your jokes? Na wa o!

MRS PATIENCE JONATHAN

1. " WE are all from different different state, but at the end of the day nigeria still remains one continent"

2. "i dont know the offence fuel subsidy commited that my husband removed him from cabinet"

3. " . . .i was too busy reading my money. ."

4. " the problem with super eagles is not coaching' the problem is keshi, he is not good at all"

5. "assuming perhaps maybe probably for instance at times, i eat a lot"

bin gbagbo: true shtory

a madman entered church n was misbehaving.
the pastor asked the strong men in the church to catch him n bring him.
pastor n other prayer warriors prayed n prayed n prayed till the madman was healed.
the madman then requested to sing one song to glorify God so they gave him the mic
he began;

"oleku, tell me something wey i no fit doo. . . .feeling the boy, feeling feeling the boy ee. . ."




pastor fainted!

the madman pulled a knife and everyone took to their heel

wastebin which church this one happen? run for ur life ministries?

UNCLE JOHN

Two children were arguing over the english name of the "SUN".
whilst tom thought it was the moon, moses said it was called "heaven eye ".
thankfully they saw uncle john passing so they asked him of the right answer.
uncle john looked at his watch, looked left n right' he was sweating n time was fast running too. the children were also eagerly waiting. uncle john finally said " actually kids, u know i dont really stay around here. . .er try someone that stays here, see ya!

bin gbagbo:
UNCLE JOHN

Two children were arguing over the english name of the "SUN".
whilst tom thought it was the moon, moses said it was called "heaven eye ".
thankfully they saw uncle john passing so they asked him of the right answer.
uncle john looked at his watch, looked left n right' he was sweating n time was fast running too. the children were also eagerly waiting. uncle john finally said " actually kids, u know i dont really stay around here. . .er try someone that stays here, see ya!

tyt one man..ur on point,.

bin gbagbo abeg faya dey go.. no look uche face!!!!!!!! na u be king 4 hia...