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Smart (54 in 1 DvD) - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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Smart (54 in 1 DvD) by purpinkx(m): 11:05am On May 17, 2012
A lady went to the store to buy a parrot and asks the sales person "What's so special about the parrot ?"
Sales person" this parrot can talk" So the lady asks the parrot " how do i look?" The parrot replies " you look like a fcu.king Slut?"
The lady gets pissed off and tells the sales person that its a very rude parrot and she cannot buy it.
The sales person tells her to please wait for 2 mins.
The sales person takes the parrot to the back of the store and shoves the parrot into a bucket of water and when he pulls the parrot out he says "if you disrespect the lady out there I'll soak you in water again" and takes the parrot back outside.
The sales person asked the lady to ask the parrot another question.
Lady: "if i come home with 1 man what would you think?"
Parrot: "he's your husband"
Lady: "2 men"
Parrot "your husband and his brother"
Lady: "3 men"
Parrot: "your husband, his brother & your brother"
Lady : "4 men"
Parrot: "bring the fcu.king bucket of water, I already told you she's a slut!" grin
Re: Smart (54 in 1 DvD) by purpinkx(m): 11:16am On May 17, 2012
A man loses everything because of his drinking habit, this evening he saw empty bottles on the bar table,
He smashes 1 bottle swearing"my wife left me because of you",
Smashes 2nd bottle "you are the reason i don't have kids",
3rd bottle " your the reason i don't have a job",
But the 4th bottle was sealed and full of beer, So he said 'stand aside, i know your not involved.
Re: Smart (54 in 1 DvD) by purpinkx(m): 11:22am On May 17, 2012
Mensah the brilliant student It was the first day of the session and a
new direct entry student Mensah, A
Ghanaian, joined the class in one of
Nigeria's universities. The Lecturer said,
'let's begin by reviewing someNigeria
history.' The Lecturer asked who said, 'i shall return to die in the land of my
fathers?' She saw a sea of blank faces,
except for Mensah, who had his hand
up.Mensah replied: 'King Jaja of Opobo,
1875' 'very good!' said lecturer. Then
she asked again, who said,'The land use act will feed the nation?' Again, no
response except from Mensah:
'Obasanjo, 1976.' The Lecturersnapped
at the class; 'class, u should be
ashamed. Mensah, who is newto our
Country, knows more about itshistory than u do.' The Lecturer heard a loud
whisper: 'Ghana must go' 'who said
that?' she demanded,
Mensah put his hand up, 'Buhari 1984.'
At that point, a student in d back
scornfully said; 'Hmmm, u think u are smart?'The Lecturer glared and asked;
'All right! Now, who said that?'Again,
Mensah said, 'Babangida to Abiola,
1992.' Now furious, another student
yelled; 'Oh yeah! Eat this!' Mensah
jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shoutingto d Lecturer,
'Indian mistress giving an apple to
Abacha, 1998' Now, with almost mob
hysteria, some1 said; 'U little poo. If u
say anything else, I'll kill u.' Mensah
frantically yelled at d top of his voice 'Chris Uba to
Ngige, 2004!' The Lecturer fainted, and
as d class gathered around her on the
floor, some1 said; 'Oh poo, we're in Big
trouble now!' Mensah whispered;
'Chimaroke Nnamani, Ayodele Fayose and Lucky Igbinedon 2007' Some1
angrily said; 'Dont
answer him, he is a fool' Mensah smiled
and replied; 'Obansanjo to IBB,2011' --
all d students ran away grin

1 Like

Re: Smart (54 in 1 DvD) by purpinkx(m): 11:29am On May 17, 2012
Deadly Curfew
A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast Everybody had to be off
the streets or risk being shot. However one citizen was shot
at 9.45pm.
"Why did you do that?" the soldier was asked by his superior
officer.
"I know where he lives," he replied, "and he wouldn't have
made it."
Re: Smart (54 in 1 DvD) by purpinkx(m): 11:31am On May 17, 2012
Naija Mentality
_All softdrinks are
called mineral'
_All Fathers came first
position
while @ school.
_India beat nigeria 99~1
because the
... ... ... ball was turnin 2
Lion
_If ur wealth start
reducing its ur
village people dat are
doing u.
-Rice and stew....Every
sunday
afternoon.
... -Every commodity
outside Africa
is original.
-Anybody with Aids got
it through
sex.
-she's a calabar girl'
chai" she go
sabi do...."
-Every seasonin cube is
maggi.
_-U must finish D rice b4
u touch d
meat
_-Every toothpaste na
maclean.
_Every insecticide na
Fleet
-Every detergent na
omo.
_-Any rich hausa is an
Alhaji', D
poor ones na Aboki'
shuo"
-U smoke u are an
armed robber!
-_If u find money on d
floor,pee
on it b4 pickin it
up,unless u turn
2 Yam!
_only science students
are smart
-Once u travel overseas
u must
be
very rich.as if they
share money
on the plane
_-Drogba use juju tie
Torres 4
leg'lol
_-Every Girl dat plays
and jokes
with a boy, has slept
with him.
-U must buy bread when
travelling'
-_when u loose a
tooth,throw it
on the roof of d
house,and run
round the house 7
times"
-Every noodle is called
indomie
Re: Smart (54 in 1 DvD) by cantell(m): 11:36am On May 17, 2012
purpinkx: Naija Mentality
_All softdrinks are
called mineral'
_All Fathers came first
position
while @ school.
_India beat nigeria 99~1
because the
... ... ... ball was turnin 2
Lion
_If ur wealth start
reducing its ur
village people dat are
doing u.
-Rice and stew....Every
sunday
afternoon.
... -Every commodity
outside Africa
is original.
-Anybody with Aids got
it through
sex.
-she's a calabar girl'
chai" she go
sabi do...."
-Every seasonin cube is
maggi.
_-U must finish D rice b4
u touch d
meat
_-Every toothpaste na
maclean.
_Every insecticide na
Fleet
.
-Every detergent na
omo.
_-Any rich hausa is an
Alhaji', D
poor ones na Aboki'
shuo"
-U smoke u are an
armed robber!
-_If u find money on d
floor,pee
on it b4 pickin it
up,unless u turn
2 Yam!
_only science students
are smart
-Once u travel overseas
u must
be
very rich.as if they
share money
on the plane
_-Drogba use juju tie
Torres 4
leg'lol
_-Every Girl dat plays
and jokes
with a boy, has slept
with him.
-U must buy bread when
travelling'
-_when u loose a
tooth,throw it
on the roof of d
house,and run
round the house 7
times"
-Every noodle is called
indomie
Re: Smart (54 in 1 DvD) by cantell(m): 11:36am On May 17, 2012
purpinkx: Naija Mentality
_All softdrinks are
called mineral'
_All Fathers came first
position
while @ school.
_India beat nigeria 99~1
because the
... ... ... ball was turnin 2
Lion
_If ur wealth start
reducing its ur
village people dat are
doing u.
-Rice and stew....Every
sunday
afternoon.
... -Every commodity
outside Africa
is original.
-Anybody with Aids got
it through
sex.
-she's a calabar girl'
chai" she go
sabi do...."
-Every seasonin cube is
maggi.
_-U must finish D rice b4
u touch d
meat
_-Every toothpaste na
maclean.
_Every insecticide na
Fleet
.
-Every detergent na
omo.
_-Any rich hausa is an
Alhaji', D
poor ones na Aboki'
shuo"
-U smoke u are an
armed robber!
-_If u find money on d
floor,pee
on it b4 pickin it
up,unless u turn
2 Yam!
_only science students
are smart
-Once u travel overseas
u must
be
very rich.as if they
share money
on the plane
_-Drogba use juju tie
Torres 4
leg'lol
_-Every Girl dat plays
and jokes
with a boy, has slept
with him.
-U must buy bread when
travelling'
-_when u loose a
tooth,throw it
on the roof of d
house,and run
round the house 7
times"
-Every noodle is called
indomie
Every insecticide na sheltox!
Re: Smart (54 in 1 DvD) by purpinkx(m): 11:36am On May 17, 2012
A man lost his boxers pant in his house. He accused his driver in front of his wife & d driver tried 2 prove his self innocence, he ran 2 d man wife and said: ma, u ar my witness, u know i don't ever wear boxers pant

Re: Smart (54 in 1 DvD) by purpinkx(m): 11:43am On May 17, 2012
Mrs Julius was becoming
frustrated with her
husband's constant demand for sΞx so she decided to make a
schedule for him to cut down the amount of time they ll be making love for the rest of their married life. While getting ready for work, she wrote: "Honey, u
know I love u but ur never-
ending demand for sΞx is
leaving me drained & tired.
So I propose that we make love in days that start with "T" to minimise our frequency of love
making sessions. Dont be madat me, just understand where I'm coming from & let me know if my request is too demanding of u". She sticks the note to the fridge door, hoping that her
hubby ll accept the proposal. Upon return from Work, she glances at the fridge & notices that her note has been replaced
with another from Mr Julius who wrote: "Sweetheart, I didnt
realise I was putting U under so much pressure & I'm sorry.
I accept ur proposal and have taken the extra step of listing the days that begin with "T" to
make sure we re on the same
page.....
Tuesdays, Thursdays, Today
& Tomorrow....
I love u so much and remember its still today so I'm waiting for u in the bedroom"

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