I've been wondering what to write on. My life has basically been the same. Religious pious roommates, school activities, after school activities, mum policing my whatsapp pics, loads of assignments, a pending friend request on Facebook from my lecturer (Any ideas on what he wants to talk about?) No money issues, and I don't consider any of these worth writing about. Not until Today. Oh, it's 1:am already. Yesterday then. When I just decided to act like a serious student and pack four textbooks to go do a bit of evening reading in one of the empty classes. Wearing a totally unfit sweatshirt, a faded jean and an unruly hair to match. And then I see E.
Well, I don't know it's him because he is still far away and looks shorter in my eyes. Besides, the last time I saw him was last semester. And then he comes closer and I keep on walking foward too. Not intentionally but seeing as this is the only pathway to class, I should just care less.
I wonder how I'm going to squeeze through this pathway(I didn't say I'm not slim) with him and his new girl. Oh! It still looks like a girl in the process of wooing. She has this 'fronting' look and his hopeful enthusiastic face is up.
The girl is saying something now but I'm pretty sure he isn't listening because he's thinking of how to replay this pathway scene in his head later.Not in a pervs way because I can see the smiles in his eyes and I know he isn't smiling at me. Our eyes do not meet. None of that romantic stuff that happens in movies. He isn't even holding hands with new chic. I quickly raise my hands to scratch an imaginary itch on my forehead like I always do when I'm shy and partly to block my eyes since they've decided not to stare at the pathway. Hopefully, the road is not too narrow for me to stop and let them pass. I will have to shoot myself if this happens. But it's wide enough for me to tilt my big bag heavy with books backwards. I start fiddling my fingers after I pass. Because this is real. I didn't panic like I thought I would when we finally met. I fiddle my fingers till I get to class and then I lose concentration because each minute I read a sentence, I use half to think of the pathway and the "Hi's" that were never said.
This brings me to questions I'd have asked if I was Buddhist. Why do I meet people in awkward place or awkward times or when I'm not prepared? Why do awkward things happen to good people?
If a corporate event is on today, I'm sure you'd catch me wearing keds. And it might be that I've managed to wear flats for 4 out of the 5 week days. Last semester, in two exams, the places I decide not to read found themselves on the compulsory question in exam. The day we were to meet with this NUC, I had a weird T-shirt on that had this horror face painted on and written in bold, 'My face in the dark'.
How awkward can one person be?