Salam Brothers n Sisters, mine is not a question nor a sermon,I jst need to talk about this cos its killing me inside. Am a regular user of NL bt had to open dis new acct to post this. Am a muslim n female. Where do I start from... I got married in Dec 2010,and eversince I got married, I promised myself to b faithful to my husband n to b a devout muslim by praying steadily n doin wat is expected of me by my created. I had my husband courted for 6months b4 we married,he was all sincere n approached me wit d issue of marriage;no hanky panky.
We got married, I was working in a bank,as a casual staff n my husband is self employed. The whole problem started rearing its ugly head when I was refused a transfer from my branch to a convenient branch close to me...believe me it wasn't easy for us cos,going to work was like a journey everyday...our place of residence was very far from where I was working. We wake up like 4am everyday jst to beat traffic(you can imagine wat happens to our subhi prayers)and come bk like around 9pm or 10 sumtimes. My hubby has to wait for me evrytime till I close...sometimes I don't balance on time. I used to pity him so much cos he was always so nice n helpful. It broke my heart.


After about six months I quit my job,it was causing more harm dan good(couldn't observe our salat well,the take off pay is not worth d stress n all). Then d nightmare began...we started noticing dat eva since we got married,my husband was not getting jobs like he used to do wen he was single,we tot it will pick up afta a while bt as am typing dis now...d situation is still d same. Don't forget dat he spent some money during nikkah n all..so we virtually had nothing to fall bk on. The little I had too started draining...

Feeding became a major problem for us...noting seems to b working for us, bn trying to secure a job too @ my end bt Allah knws best,even if its a teaching job,I don't mind...jst to ease d stress. Everyting I look @ my husband,I hurt cos I knw wat he goes thru jst to take care of me...d other day he cried in my arms,saying he never wanted me to suffer in his house,he had d best intention regarding me n its just unfortuanate dat I ve to pass thru dis with him. Anoda painful part for me is dat...uptil now I ve not conceieved,@ least if we have a child...mayb it won't b all dat bad..but again Allah knws best. I know we all ve to pass tru trials in life cos its Allah's way of testing his servant,and I tried to b patient about it n keep praying to him..bt sometimes it gets to me n I can't help myself. Life has not bn easy for me n hubby,I knw there r thousands who r going thru worse situation dan me bt I can't jst help tinking y we ve to suffer financial instability n childlessness @ d same time. Sorry for d long post, I just had to vent it out. Bn praying esp tahajjud prayer and I pray Allah brings relief for us soon. Cause HE said"For every hardship comes relief". Pleas put us in your prayers and also recommend any dua I can be saying to give me peace of mind and Allah's mercy. Thanks for reading.

Advice is also welcome...don't just read n leave,say something dat will put my mind @ ease. Jazakallahu khairan

OP, I am really sorry to read all you are going through but please be patient and persevere. I will add you in my prayers too. However, don't start thinking negative; all that talk of jobs not coming for your husband the way it used to after he married you is not good talk. I know you are just explaining but don't let that thought stick in your mind. I just want to let you know that there are people who will read your story and wish you the best whilst adding you in their prayers.

I am running short of Nairaland time these days (I mostly moderate at the moment). If not, I am sure I would have responded earlier and had more to say. Just have faith as I am sure you have married a good man. Just re-read your story again, pick-up the positives and be creative with job hunting or starting a business whilst you continue your supplications. I would suggest that you increase your recitation of the Qur'an. Dedicate a complete round-of recitation towards solving your problems. I really wish you the best.

Do not be sad - Everything will occur according to a pre-ordainment

Everything occurs according to preordainment and according to what has been decreed. Such is the belief of Muslims, the followers of Muhammad (Blessings and Peace be upon him). And nothing happens in the Universe except through Allah's Knowledge, Permission, and Divine Plan.

No calamity befalls on the earth or in yourselves but is inscribed in the Book of Decrees [Al-Lauh al-Mahfuz], before we bring it into existence. Verily, that is easy for Allah. (Qur'an 57: 22)

Verily, we have created all things with Qadar [Divine Preordainments of all things before their creation, as written in the Book of Decrees - Al-Lauh al-Mahfuz]. (Qur'an 54: 49)

And certainly, we shall test you with something of fear; hunger; loss of wealth, lives and and fruits, but give glad tidings to the patient ones. (Qur'an 2: 155)

And in a hadith, the Prophet (bpuh) said:

"Wonderful is the affair of the believer! His affairs in their entirety are good for him: if good befalls him, he is thankful, and that is good for him. And if harm befalls him, he is patient, and that is good for him. And this (prosperous state of being) is only for the believer."

In an authentic hadith, the Prophet (bpuh) said:

"If you ask, then ask of Allah, and if you seek help, then seek it from Allah. And know that if the whole of the nation were to rally together in order to bring benefit to you in anything, they would not benefit you except with that which Allah has written for you. And if they were to gather together in order to inflict harm upon you with something; they would not harm you except with that which Allah has written upon you. The pens have been raised and the pages have dried."

The Prophet (Blessings and Peace be upon him) also said: "And know that what has befallen you was not going to miss you, and that which missed you was not meant to befall you."

In another authentic hadith, the Prophet (bpuh) said: "Strive for that which will benefit you, seek help from Allah, do not be weak, and do not say: If I had done such and such, the situation would be such and such. But say: Allah has decreed and what He wishes, He does."

And in another authentic hadith, the Prophet (bpuh) said: "Every matter that Allah decrees for His slave is better for him."

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah was asked about sin: Is it good for someone? He said:

"Yes, with the condition that it is followed by being remorseful and repentant, by seeking forgiveness, and by being sincerely moved (to submission) on the inside."

Allah, the Exalted, says:

And it may be that you dislike a thing, which is good for you and that you like a thing, which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know

Bukhari related that the Prophet (bpuh) said:

"Indeed, Allah extends His Hand in the night to forgive the one who sins in the day, and He extends His Hand in the day to forgive the one who sins at night, and this continues until the sun rises from the west."

In another hadith, the Prophet (bpuh) relates that Allah said: "O' my slaves, verily you sin by day and night, and I forgive all sins; so seek forgiveness from me and I will forgive you."

In another authentic hadith, the Prophet (bpuh) said:

"By the One Who has my soul in His Hand, if you were not to sin, then Allah would remove you, and would bring another nation who sins, and who then seek forgiveness from Allah; and He would forgive them."

And the Prophet (Blessings and Peace be upon him) also said:

"By the One, who has my soul in His Hand, if you were not to sin, then I would fear upon you that which is more severe than sin; and that is self-conceit."

In another authentic narration, the Prophet (bpuh) said: "Every one of you is constantly doing wrong, and the best of those who constantly do wrong are the ones who are constantly making repentance."

He (bpuh) also said in this authentic hadith:

"Truly, Allah is happier with the repentance of His slave than one of you who is on his mount, and upon his mount is his drink and food; then he loses his mount in the desert, and he searches for it until he loses hope; so he sleeps and then wakes up to find that his mount is beside him, and he says, `O' Allah, you are my slave and I am your Lord'. He pronounced this mistake as a result of his extreme happiness."

He (bpuh) is also authentically reported to have said:

"Verily, a slave (of Allah) commits a sin and then he says, `O' Allah, forgive me my sin, for indeed, none forgives sins except you'. Then he commits another sin, and he afterwards says, `O' Allah, forgive me my sin, for indeed, none forgives sins except you'. Then he commits another sin, and he afterwards says, `O' Allah, forgive me my sin, for indeed, none forgives sins except you'. Then Allah says, `My slave knows that he has a Lord, Who takes one to account for sins, and Who also forgives sins, so let my slave do as he wishes. '

The meaning of this is that as long as Allah's slave is contrite and repentant, then Allah will forgive him.


Don't Be Sad - By Aaidh ibn Abdullah al-Qarni

Life is never without the downs and your reactions at this time go a long way. May Allah help you out of this situation.(Amin)

@All...thanks for ur advice n prayers. May Allah reward you. Amin

^You are welcome!