The Gospel According To ‘Saint’ Farouk
1) And it came to pass after these things, on
the first day of the first month of the twelfth
year after the second millennium, that king
Jona son of Bele announced to the people
saying; there is no money left in the royal
treasury, and the future of the kingdom is in
great danger.
2) Therefore, a measure of oil shall no longer
sell for three scores of silver and seven, but
shall now be seven scores of silver and one.
But the people grumbled aloud, and said unto
another, what shall it profit our king to gain
all these oil money and lose his throne?
3) For it is appointed unto him to reign but
once, and after this prison, for many are the
atrocities which he has committed.
4) So they said unto the king, eat thou thy
food in peace in the palace, and surround
thou thyself with thine women, only touch
not our oil price and do thy people no harm.
5) But the king would not listen, and said
unto himself, I know my people, they shall
only grumble for a while and soon they shall
forget.
6) But the people would not forget, for the
burden was too much for them to bear, and
they said; now unto him that is able to
increase the price of oil exceeding
abundantly above all that his people can bear
or think, according to the greed which
worketh in him;
7) Unto him be curses in the streets by the
masses throughout all ages, protests without
end.
So they took to the streets and gave the land
no peace, and there was no going out or
coming in throughout the kingdom for two
weeks, and the king feared greatly and said
to himself, surely these people shall overturn
me if I answer them not.
9) So he called the head of the labourers unto
the palace, and gave him bags of gold, that
they might turn off the wrath of the people
against the king.
10) So the king assembled the people and
said unto them; a measure of oil shall no
longer be seven scores of silver and one, but
shall now be four scores of silver, one dozen
and one, to this your leaders have agreed.
Praise me now therefore for I am a
benevolent king.
11) And after all these, the Loudspeaker of
the House of People said, let us inquire into
the king’s claim that there be no money in the
royal treasury. So they appointed Farcrook,
son of Lawal.
12) And said unto him, gather ye now all the
oil sellers, that we may know who stole from
the kingdom. This did him with diligence, and
came back with his report saying
13) Thieves abound in the land, and so have
the oil sellers stole from the people, and gave
them not oil, this they did with the help of
Aliyaro the king’s mistress; and the amount
he mentioned was unheard of in the land.
14) When the people heard this, they were
dismayed, and sorrow gripped their hearts.
15) But the oil sellers went in unto the king in
his chamber, and said; rememberest thou O
king that the what we stole did we made
available to thy campaign, and by thus did
we make you king.
16) If thou deliver us unto the people that
they may punish us, we will hold not our
tongue to tell the people that thou art one of
us.
17) And they said unto him, how else shall we
destroy the message if not to destroy the
messenger? Let us therefore implicate
Farcrook the son of Lawal in this matter.
18) So they sent a certain rich man from the
West by the name Otedollar, and he took
Farcrook into his house and gave him some
money, that he may alter the report which he
had set before the people.
19) And it was that Otedollar went before an
assembly of the people and said unto them,
trust ye this man who said we stole from the
treasury? Surely he is one of us, for he came
unto me in the middle of the night, and he
left with his pockets full of money.
20) And the people where amazed, and their
hearts bled, for Farcrook was a man in whom
they had to their trust.
21) So Farcrook arose, and said; Otedollar is
my briber, I did not request. He maketh me to
sit down in his Maitama house; he leadeth me
beside the chilled champagne.
22) He exploited me greed; he leadeth me in
the paths of marked dollars for subsidy’s
sake.
23) Yea, though I walk through the valley of
the shadow of EFCC, I will fear no arrest: for
bribes are with me; my loots and my
kickbacks they comfort me.
24) Thou preparest the dollars before me, in
the presence of the SSS: thou anointest my
mouth with wine; my pocket runneth over.
25) Surely the shame and reproach shall
follow me all the days of my life, but I will
dwell in the house of PDP forever and ever.
26) And the people wept, but there was no
one to console them.

Thank you!

This is quite constructive n hilarious, more wisdom to ur brain.!

Nice creativity but too long!
Read my yoke
https://www.nairaland.com/961476/dana-plane-crash-yoke-hehehe

nice one

Ma broda I no fit laugh, dis is d best joke I've eva read NL. Abeg d tin get part 2. If a guy like u can constructively reel ur opinion in dis manner, then I wonder wat u cannot create. I pray dat God wil continue 2 increase u in wisdom n understanding. Don't relent broda. I wud advice u do more of this; dis is jus d genesis-d gospel according 2 saint faruk, perhaps u shud try doin other gospel according 2 Saint Bad leaders, put them into book form n believe me it wil sel like pure water. Pls dear I'm very serious abot dis. God bles. Much Luv!

Nice one. More wisdon to ur brain.