Listen to a testimony: "Praise the
lort.
Hmmm! It's not a small
something. Well, actually, it all
started a two day ago, which I'm
in my house, So a small hungry is
catching me, So I look in the
house nothing much to chop
only small plantain which I've not
fried before.... So, I tell myself to
fry it and chop, as I'm frying that
plantain so, phone ringing, So I
look, it's a faring place, so I now
run, which I reach there, it's my
father which call, So I now say,
father call after, plantain frying. I
keep it.
So now, I now turn around, as I
turn around, all of a suddenly
everywhere in myhouse have
turn to smoke. Children of God as
i'm approaching, smoke is
bigging, smoke is just bigging
and bigging. It's a fearing thing
o!, if it's U self, afraid will catch
you.
So I now call on my God, I sing
his sing which daddy say make
we dey sing. The sing did not
work oh!The smoke is still
bigging make I talk true. So I
now call the name of Jesus three
times. I shout Jezus Jezus Jezus!
All of a miraculously, smoke start
to be vanishing, to where? I no
know. It's a miracle sumthing
ooo. Smoke start to disappearing
small, small, small. Then, my
plantain have burn to ashes.
Hallelujah...
Praise the lort somebodies. But
my main testimony today be say,
I chop that charcol and nothing
happen to me. Church praise the
lort.
Alleluyah..=)). . . . . . .

I can't belive it ...i just laughd...,wot a miracle.

A husband and wife were arguin bout which sex
enjoys sex most..Male or female...the husband
said:
'ofcoarse its us males..why do u think we r so
obssessd wit it?''then the wife said:
'stick ur finger in ur ear..nd wriggle it..then
take it out..which one do u think enjoys it..the
Finger or the hole?'

A crusty old man walks into the local First
Baptist Church and says to the secretary, "I
would like to join this damn church." The
astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon,
sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did
you say?"
"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this
damn church!"
"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is
not tolerated in this church."
The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the
pastor's study to inform him of her situation.
The pastor agrees that the secretary does not
have to listen to that foul language. They both
return to her office and the pastor asks the old
geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"
"There is no damn problem," the man says. "I
just won $200 million bucks in the damn
lottery and I want to join this damn church to
get rid of some of this damn money. "
"I see," said the pastor. "And is this bitch
giving you a hard time?"

A man asks a trainer in the gym: 'I want 2
impress that beautiful girl , which machine can
I use?' Trainer replies: 'Use the ATM

After a Car Acident,
The Following ensured between Chinoz the drive
and a policeman ...
Policeman: Man, how did u kill 50 people in a
car accident?
Chinoz: i was driving at about 120km/h, when i
tried to stop i found that i had no brakes. i saw
2 men walking onthe street and a wedding on d
other side of d street, who should i
hit?
Policeman: of course the 2 men,less damage.
Chinoz: that's what i
thought to myself, but when i did it, i hit only
one and the other one ran to the wedding, SO I
DROVE AFTER FOLLOWING HIM...

doctor:''alcohol kills slowly''
Lala:'' so waht?,,hus in a hurry?''

An inspirational speaker said:
“Best years of my life were spent
in the arms of a woman, who
wasn’t my wife.”
Audience was in shock and
silence.
He added:
“She was my mother”
A big round of applause &
laughter!
A very daring husband tried to
crack this at home.
After a dinner, he said loudly to
his wife in the kitchen:
“Best years of my life were spent
in the arms of a woman, who
wasn’t my wife”
Standing for a moment, trying to
recall the second line of that
speaker
By the time he gained his senses,
he was on a hospital bed,
recovering from burns of boiling
water!

Girl invited her boyfriend over
for dinner in her house, so that hecould meet
her parents.
While they were eating, it
started raining heavily. The girl’s mother said:
“Julius, I think
you should sleep over here
because this rain
shows no sign of stopping
anytime soon” After eating the mom went to
the toilet and
the father went to sleep while
the girl went to
the kitchen to clean the plates,
when the girl and the mother returned, Julius
was no
longer there.
As they were busy wondering
where he was,
he came back really soaking wet. Mother:
“Where were you and
why are you so
wet?”
Julius: “I went home to get my
pyjamas!

A beggar walked up to a guy in traffic chatting
on his BB and says"please help me,Give me
some money. The guy said, sorry i don't have
money today.The beggar then said ok please
add me on your BB so you can ping me
whenyou have money.
Gud am guys

Dis is al fantastic guyz kip it upDis is al fantastic guyz kip it upDis is al fantastic guyz kip it up

ogbamuno: Dis is al fantastic guyz kip it upDis is al fantastic guyz kip it upDis is al fantastic guyz kip it up

thanx man

A woman was beating her son for stealing.
After beating him
merciless,
she asked;
Do you know where your stealing habit
will lead you to?.
The boy replied; YES!
His mother was shocked and
asked; where?.
The Boy said;
THE NATIONAL
ASSEMBLY!

ok

good...all good

Nice work!

nice collection

These jokes are good, especially that of the policeman and the drunkard, that got me crackin!!!

Lagusta: These jokes are good, especially that of the policeman and the drunkard, that got me crackin!!!

are u a nut?? Who cracks? d joker or d audience?

To impress his girlfriend, boy took her to a very
nice Italian restaurant.
He picked up menu & ordered Giuseppe
Spomdalucci..
Waiter: sorry sir! thats the owner. (O_o)/

read this very hillarious speech by Chinoz on his
wedding
.
.During a wedding reception; Chinoz the groom
was called upon to give
his vote of thanks to his guests and here his is
speech:
1. I want to first of all thank the Lord
Almighty for creating my wife and to also
thank the pastor and his wife for lending us
their wedding rings.
2.Special appreciation to my
landlord who lent us his car.
3. I am most grateful to my boss
for approving the loan I used for
the wedding.
4. Big thanks to the committee of friends for
the appeal fund they
raised on my behalf.
5. Also to my brother's wife,
thank you for lending us your
wedding gown.
6. Am so grateful to the cake designer for the
cake. I
promised to return it tomorrow morning as
agreed
without cutting or eating out of it.
7. Special thanks to my friends who brought
food from their homes to help me feed you all.
Please for those who were served food good luck
and for Those who didn't get any, well we will
make it up to you during our child dedication
(hopefully next
year).
8.Very big thanks to my parents for bringing
the village cultural band to supply the music as
well as entertain us all here, today.
9.Not forgetting the church marriage
committee, thank you for persuading my wife
to marry me.
10. Appreciation to the married men in the
church for rushing me into this marriage.
11. The women are not left out, thanks a lot
for teaching my wifehow to dance.
12. To the youths, thank you for
sweeping and decorating this
venue with palm fronds.
13. I am also grateful to my
teenage friends for helping with
the joly juice drink
14. Appreciation to my co- tenants for
contributing money for the cameraman
15. Well, I wish you all safe journey and I pray
you don't
experience what I suffered for this wedding.
Thank you all.
.
**His inlaws fainted**

Jatwell took a picture holding a dog and
uploaded it on facebook, then someone
commented underneath saying
" which one is you? "
Jatwell replied back and said " THE ONE
HOLDING YOU"

A man is driving when he sees the flash of a
traffic
camera. He figures that the picture has been
taken for
exceeding the speed limit, even thou he knows
he
wasn't driving too fast. Just to be sure, he goes
around the block and drives past the same spot
even more slowly. But the camera flashes
again. He starts to think this is quite funny,
so he drives even slower as he passes the spot
again. Still the traffic camera flashes. He has
the same result on the fourth try.
The fifth time round he's beside himself with
laughter when the camera flashes as he rolls
past, now at snail
pace. Two weeks later he receives five(5) tickets
in his post mail for driving without a seatbelt.

bump