Mr OP. Immediately you marry a Lady with a child, you should know that you already have a child, whether you are the biological father or not. Never marry a lady that already has a child if you can not accept her child.
Go and bring the child into your home and take care of her like she's yours. Thank God your wife is a good one.
Nothing like adopting another man's child when he hasn't given her up for adoption. You are taking care of her as a sacrifice for your wife's Love and attention. It's a cross you really can not avoid if you want a continuous happy home with the mother. So make adjustments on your budget to accommodate her.
You should learn to have a large heart. It really pays. I mean people take care of other peoples kids they dont even know. This one is even your wife's kid and you are still hesitating. And dont go about forcing her to cut ties with the kid's father- that's childish. Even you might still have a child outside wedlock tomorrow bro ...

If Prophet T.B.Joshua gives such a prophesy, you ignore it at your own peril.
His prophesies always turn out to be true in more than 90% of cases.
Yes you might talk about the Hilary Clinton prophesy that didnt work, and his inability to see his building collapse. I also have issues with those. But hey - TB Joshua is not God, has never claimed to be, and can never be. So I believe he is bound to make mistake sometimes, or God even makes him to make a few mistakes to remind people that TB Joshua is not God but only a major prophet of God.
However T.B. Joshua remains by far one of the greatest prophets of our time, if not the greatest.
So as he has spoken I have taken heed. Insight - When the King makers of Nigeria decides that your stay as the president should be halted, my dear better pack your bags and go in peace for you shall be surely ousted one way or the other, repeat - one way or the other. Of course OBJ and IBB are 2 of the most influential kingmakers now, and you know their view already .....

3 POINTS WAO CHAI THANK GOD OHHHHH

uNBELIEVABLE, nIGERIA JUST TRANSFORMED TO THE REAL sUPER eAGLES IN THIS SECOND HALF. iNCREDIBLE ...

GOOOOAAAAALLLLLLLL ----- MUSA NIGEIRA 2ND CHAI

GOAL ............................................ eAGLES HEEEEEEEE

I have never ever celebrated anyone's failure as I celebrated Argentina's 3:0 dubbing by Croatia yesterday.
I thought the Eagles would now realize that they still got a real chance to qualify for the 2nd round from this group. But this first half shows that the Eagles still lack the passion to score goals. They are not hungry for goals. They lack urgency. Their match is not interesting to watch. In spite of all my hopes on them, the Eagles seems to still be a very useless team to watch, sorry to say this. Well I still pray they miraculously win.

prettyirene:
op please don't mind what anybody is saying regarding not having a mistress or not...at least you respected your wife by having a mistress abroad....I know how frustrating it is to have a spouse that isn't sexually compatible with you...not that I'm supporting evil but a man got to do what he has to do to keep his home. After all our fore father's married more than one wife ...forever is too long to suffer in silence in a marriage. I'm in the same predicament even at the verge of leaving the marriage cos as a woman it's forbidden to be unfaithful...it's worse for a woman because your husband will offer you what he feels it's okay and you have to manage it... imagine not having sex for two years and you claim you are married. thank God I don't have a female child... the world is truly not fair to us....

Thanks for the understanding and support Sis,
When one is faced with such circumstances seemingly beyond ones control, one has to be proactive to devise a means to at least land among the stars even though one had aimed for the moon. In this our society a man like me faced with such circumstances have more room for maneuvering than a woman like you. This I have explored. This is just the plain truth. A woman here is NOT permitted to 'cheat' no matter the circumstances. The society will fry and eat you raw. So faced with such as a woman, if you have tried everything and it didn't work and you can't face the heat again, the only viable and honorable option would unfortunately be to get a divorce. Am not an advocate of divorce though. So ensure you have done ALL you could possibly do before resorting to that.

akigbemaru:


I don't think anything is wrong with you or your manhood. First, as someone puts it early, it could be a stress-related issue that makes you to lose appetite for sex. Check your wife if she has a Yeast Infection or vulvovaginitis. They are the benign infections that cause itching and discomfort during sex or urination.

You need to MASTURBATE yourself and see if your URETHRA is not blocking during EJACULATION. I have a symptom like that before. I had a girl that came to graduate school in US. We started dating in our final semester. It took me 2 months before porting her because she won't allow me to do nothing. I noticed a yellow coloration around her vagina but I was still trying to get in with her and did not focus so much on the yellow coloration.

After we started having a serious sex, I would occasionally see somethiing that looks like a cottage cheese and I would ask her what is that and she would just bluff it that it is nothing.

Honestly, it is not contagious to me because if it was a serious disease, I supposed to have been infected by it.

She claims all females have Yeast Infection and hers is a benign one, after I discovered what was her symptom.

She left and I waited 19 days before I masturbated myself and I found out that something was blocking my URETHRA each time I tried to cut.
I didn't have a health insurance, so I cannot visit a doctor without spending much. I had a broken wisdom tooth and I ventured to a dentist and he charged me $160 before prescribing a pain reliever and antibiotics to me. After finishing the 20 pills of each medicine, I tried to masturbate again and I caught some sensations.

I am just narrating this, just to highlight that it could be you or wife that needs to see doctor.

THEN, YOU CLAIMED THAT YOUR WIFE IS THE ONLY WOMAN YOU KNOW THAT WOULD ALWAYS REQUIRE LUBRICANT OR VASELINE TO HAVE SEX.

My girlfriend is the same as your wife, she would all my Vaseline within one week for a sex. I guess with her untreated Yeast Infection, it irritates her Vagina's wall when I roll-in my Hard Dick.

NOTE: A new medical report has claimed that females that use Petroleum Jelly as a LUBRICANT stand to develop a Yeast Infection.

You can try antibiotics if you discover anything during masturbation and for your wife, she may need the vagina cleansing or see doctor but she should not use antibiotics because her wall is irritated already.

No women that don't like Hard Dick and only the conditions that prevent some women from good sex.

Many Thanks for your contribution. I have picked up a few things from your contribution.
Neither my wife nor I show any sign of infection whatsoever. I have confirmed my status by going to test and even taking serious medication for 3 weeks which included 11 injections and some traditional medicine over a 3 weeks period so as to leave no stone unturned. I did several tests including Sugar level, Urine Test, Blood test etc which all turned negative for any infection. My wife would be going for her own tests soon, and I will join her again since I have had intercourse with her after the medication I took.
I think it might be psychological as many people have opined here. But I have to ensure that the medical aspect is convincingly concluded before zeroing in on the psychological or spiritual angle.

CaraJewel:
Then marry your concubine since its your right
#mentalityofsocalledafricanmen
go to a good specialist to know the thing u have contacted before u gv ur wife and she gets worse or go traditìonal and spiritual

Am an African. A proud one at that. It is an honor for you to say I have an African mentality. Do you expect me to have an Asian or Australian mentality? If I wanted to marry two wives I would have done that long before now. If I even wanna do it now I wouldn't need your permission to do it either. Thanks for your garnished insult disguised as an advice though. This is Nairaland of course so I expected worse than this. Whatever rocks your boat ...

CaraJewel:
am sure if your wife was cheating on you with a bloke if reverse was the case
u would have divorced her

I married my wife, paid her bride price, take care of her and our lovely kids, do every other thing for her as a responsible husband should. She dare not cheat on me. If she does and I find out, that's a red line, I terminate the marriage. She knows that. If she was the one that married me and feed me, 'house me', do everything for me, then she can consider cheating and I do the pleading. I have the right to marry more than one wife as an African if I choose. So, that I chose to stick to one wife in spite of her shortcomings means I actually deserve some commendation Shikena !!

want2knowben:


labanj1:

((So if you go 5 rounds for 45 minutes each you will have spent 225 minutes (3hrs 45 minutes) on sex. Your thing sef don dey fear you.))

This was the ONE thing on my mind! You want to kpai woman ni? How can a woman work all day and then not get any rest at night?
When you are married and getting it almost everyday, 45 minutes is long enough! She is a wife, not a donkey!

Or are you trying to sell us some 'rigidity boosting' medicine?

Please read my post and understand:
With my wife its never more than one round a night. If am lucky I get to do it two days in a week.
She is always "tired" every other day. She is grossly under-utilized. Remember I traveled for 2 years and just came back. So please read before saying I have over-run her pussy mileage. The revers is actually the case.
Anyway my wahala na to get the JohnThomas back to the terrain ...

arnold123:
was your peniss struck by lightning recently?, there was a time when mine was stuck by lightning and i had to Go beg my wife for forgiveness!

No, nothing like lightening struck me. Well, how does lightning strike the peniss specifically? Sounds kind of strange ...

chysam:


If you are truly serious,then go to herbal medicine sellers and ask for the medicine called AGUNMU JEDI and OPAENYI.Please ask for freshly grinded ones still active. take a tablespoon full each and mixed together,pour into pap or 7up and drink. It will make you stool heavily early in the morning.After stooling,your dick could drill a rock. Repeat this treatment 4 days later and include a tablespoon full of another medicine called ALE,meaning to make strong. You should be ok after using these herbal medicines in powder form.

A few weeks later,go and get the leaf called EYIN OLOBE or ENYI KWO NWA in igbo language.Boil to extract the juice and drink a cup full in the morning and repeat at night.Repeat until the colour fades.

THANK ME LATER

Thanks so much.
I hope I could be able to get these leaves and herbs. I will try shaa.

tecnolad:


Is your concubine a Yoruba lady?

No, she is an African from a neighboring Francophone country.

trouper9:
your wife has also cheat on you while you are away, there is something called Tesho in Yoruba, during old days, it was used by those powerful man to protect their daughter from men, believe it or not, this thing is on your wife, am a Christian frm a pagan family

Could you please elaborate.
Of course I trust my wife. But she of course is a human being not an angel, so I can't rule out anything completely.
But I don't understand how for example my wife cheats, and its my joystick that will refuse to rise?
Besides we are Christians and don't believe in those fetish things. I didn't put any fetish thing on her. So how would that be possible? Please elaborate ...

paulibling:
just cut your hair golimapa and turn to a monk. Like that you will dedicate yourself to prayer cos

Ewo, biko stop scaring me with this joke oh.

vchykp:
but wait.. you last 45mins for real??.. you be stallion? hope u dont take trams??

Yes I do last that long. I thought most men do. But the way people are sounding here makes it seem like an extra ordinary thing to achieve. No I dont take anything at all, nothing. Well I long learnt how to stop midway when the thing want to come out, remove my mind from it, then it goes back, and I continue, it buys you more time, when you repeat it 2 or 3 more times you will achieve that. Practice makes perfect. Its not easy, but achievable, ha ha ha

vchykp:


If you dont mind, i would ask you to stop eating from your wife for sometime, she is probably scared of telling u to reduce d way you hump her, so she used some therapy in your food to mak your perform less, unfortunately it made the joystick an earthworm

Chai, so my Joystick has become an earthworm, this one just weak me, ha ha ha

nams77:

U are a mature man and I want us to rub mind like matured folks. It's a physchological problem. It has nothing to do with STD. Try and stay from your wife for a while and other women too. Take ur mind of sex too. Then after a while go back to ur wife and see what happens.
U can pm me if you want us to chat privately

Thanks so much.

nams77:
Dontemec. I don't think there is any std that can kill libido that fast. What I think is happening is over-familiarity. Funny, right? When a man is used to one woman,at long last, there is nothing exciting anymore so the urge just dies down. But take that man to a new lady and see the zest return with alacrity. Some men goes a round with their wife and fall asleep till morning but if it were to be another woman by their side, they won't sleep all night.
Our company electrician said he hardly get erection with his wife but have massive erection if he is with some other lady. Same discussion came up with some group of guys in a mechanic workshop.
There is nothing wrong with you Bro. Just try spacing sex with ur wife

Thanks for your contribution.
Yes I really doubt there is an STD that could paralyze a dick this fast. That's why I came here for all kinds of advice.
But I doubt this over-familiarity thing. Remember I was away for 2 years and just back. So I have the desire and zeal for her in spite of her attitude. That's why this thing seems a bit bizarre and puzzling to me.

Pricelessangel0:
From All That U Av Said It Is True People Do Many Things 2 Keep Their Marriage Going But From All U Av Said U Re Taking The Wrong Part Of Keeping It, And When You Guys Were Courting Did U For Once Try To Talk About Your Sexual Drive? When U Married Her Was She A Virgin? & Have U Tried After Marriage To Talk About Sex Or Tried To Teach Her To Meet Ur Standard & Expectations? Dats The Mistake Some Guys Make And If The Reverse Was The Case Will U Be Happy Knowing Ur Wife Is Receiving Satisfaction Elsewhere? Pls I Have This Advise For U, Sit Ur Wife Down And Have Heart To Heart Talk With Her, Confess Ur Misdeed To Her And Plead For Her Forgiveness Then To Crown It All Ask God For Forgiveness And For Him To Heal Ur Marriage. Peace Unto You Shallom

Bros my wife was ''almost'' a virgin when I got married to her. She is indeed a good girl/woman. She had most of the attributes I needed in a future wife, except on the sexual compatibility scale. I thought I could teach her and be able to make her up her game. That has turned out to be the worst assumption or miscalculation I ever made. Bros this case has passed talking to her. For 10 years I have done more talking and other things than you can ever imagine.
He who wears the shoe knows where it pinches most. My dear, if not for that concubine ish I would have divorced my wife -FACT.
My problem is getting back my erection as I have my family greatly under control.

kelvinklein219:
I had a gf like that, and exact thing happened to me.
My deduction is
Subconsciously u re tired of how ur wife doesn't lyk sex, u begin to take her lyk a sister, lyk ur wife has friend zoned you haha.. Ok seriously when u think abt the stress you wil go tru to make love your p.enis would prefer to be celibate nd let me guess, she doesn't get wet quickly..talk to your wife she may be killing the sex life in the marriage, you may be unaware but you are just tired of doing it with her.

Hmm you might not be far from the truth.
My wife is the only female I know that you dare not make love to without bringing Vaseline or any lubricant along. Even if you tell her that she is wet fairly enough, without lubrication, no deal. I might have an erection, but before I locate where the Vaseline or lubricant is I would lose it chai ..
As per talking, bros for 10 years I have talked, talked and talked. I have used up every of those suggestions ladies will give you - show her love, start love advance 24 hours before time, do this do that, all to no avail. I have used sanctions, to no avail. Believe me I have tried EVERY possible option to change her before I finally came to the realization that she just might NEVER change. In fact its her uncle that suggested that concubine solution not to rock the boat. And since I have been having concubine it seems to have worked at least in making me not to ''disturb'' her often, as that's what she terms love-making - disturbance ha ha ha; until now ..

franchasng:
In problem solving, u dont rule out any analysis...even if u dont believe in them. You must consider all possible cause(s).

But how can u make love or have sex with someone u are not kissing or someone who isnt kissing u Thats rape and to me its disgusting cos sex should start with romancing, pre-intimacy, kissing before penetra....

This might be your problem; psychological or hope u didn't meet her when she is bleeding

Bros GBAM. With my wife there is no kissing, no romancing, no moaning; Mouth Action- I deh craze to even expect her to go that length? Yes the truth is that sometimes I feel am making love to a dead body or raping someone. Yet am incapable of raping anyone as my P will pack up once a female shows fear or disgust. My wife has a strength of character and does not display any emotions, not even during sexual intercourse.
Thanks for your advice. I will keep open mind even with the spiritual suggestions ..

careytommy7:
You mean you spend close to 4 hours slamming your concubine, is she a nympho?

On a very good - YES I could spend that much time and the concubine is great in that aspect, real great, a perfect match. She is not a nymphomaniac. I once had a nympho years back. Na me run before she finishes me, ha ha ha

chysam:
Thank,you for your riddles and jokes,we enjoyed it.

My dear, @40+ I can not squeeze out time for silly jokes.
Am on Nairaland basically everyday for years now, but I hardly comment and have NEVER posted anything before today.
This is something am experiencing presently, as in NOW ...

COOLDK:
I don't think you have a problem.
It all boils down to your mindset. Atimes, you don't just get erected with some ladies even if they get unclad (reasons is simply your sexual drive and affinity towards them) if her sexual orientation doesn't match yours, problem occurs.

And atimes, just a thought or call from a lady get you automatically erect without even seen her (seems you can get the logic here, this is sexual compatibility)

I got the logic. Thanks

franchasng:
Spiritual

Some communities in Nigeria, once the wife cheats, it affects her husband any moment they make love or once the hubby eats a food prepared by the wife. Some may even lead to mild madness or unusual behavior until the woman confesses and necessary things done.

Talk to your dad after making sure no medical issues and no psychological issues as a result of past uninteresting sex experience with your wife.


It happens....when u have low attraction for a lady as a man, it kills erection. Believe me, many married men loose attraction for their wives after say 3 - 10yrs of marriage, its usually the kids and past bond and promises that keep the marriage, sadly

Thanks for your contribution.
I can't say that the spiritual aspect has not crossed my mind. But I don't really give credence to such thoughts, so I prefer to leave that out of the equation for now.
The psychological aspect is what am seriously thinking could be the problem. Because sorry to say this, my wife is worse than a log of wood in bed. So bedmatically I hate my wife, but apart from that I so much love her. She doesn't know and doesn't want to know anything about sex. She is zero romantically. She has had no improvement since we got married, in fact she has gotten worse. However paradoxically in spite of all these I always want her more than ever. If she likes she could go to sleep and I will be doing my thing. Problem now is that my P has suddenly become shy of her and refuses to respect her presence and that is annoying me so much and causing me real cause for concern. This is just 10 years of marriage. How am I gonna survive the remaining 50 years with her?

Kylekent59:
U lasted 45 minutes before ejaculating
Impossible!!

Bros not to brag. I could last for an hour before ejaculating.
But wahala be say the thing is not standing up at all now. That is my wahala now ..

RealDonaldTrump:
The answer is one and simple............Your wife lacks the zeal and energy for sex so this betrays your romantic expectations. This might sound absurd but it’s what sill happen when you find out your wife cheated on you, but since she did not do anything like that. It’s because your mindset is wired to believe that she isn’t forthcoming with sexual intercourse and you will probably be the one thrusting back and forth while she just wait there without action. It’s very natural.

On the side, a tested and trusted sex drive and sperm producing technique is to take smoothie made with Walnut included regularly. Apple + Banana + Walnut + Pistachio + Cashew nut + Ginger. Especiall night time before bed.

You have no problem, don’t waste money on Medication. If your wife fit allow you experiment on a clean olosho. You will instantly know that you have no problem.

Bros I owe you one Origin. Thanks for your analysis and suggestion. I don't think you are far from the truth.

vengedre:


Okay ur a cheat and ur HIV positive, f.uck off... Next patient please!!!

HA ha ha ha ha, I expected this long ago.
My dear I don't know how old you are. But If you ask your parents how marriages that have lasted for 25 to 50 years are sustained, the things you might hear would make you get wiser.
I love my wife, but I also love good sex. My wife can't give me the good sex. So it's either I divorce my wife or find an alternative measure to save my marriage. This hard decision I took sometime past. Believe me it wasn't and still isn't an easy decision. But a man got to do what a man got to do. However am always very careful of course and that singular decision has made the boat not to rock till now..

LadySarah:
Nothing is wrong with you man!
your p went on voluntary retirement cos of overusage
how can a frigid woman Let you hump on her for close to 3 hrs.
you took the juice and oil out of her life and now want blood,Bros fear God biko...

Go see a doc btw,Nl is not a hospital

Sis, I have already seen a Doctor and ran several tests already. Nothing was found wrong with me. Yet I still took a regime of 3 weeks total treatment/ cleansing. And after that the Manhood stood up and worked wonders on my wife again for one day. But just after that the manhood got paralyzed again. Am thinking that there is something inside my wife that is killing my manhood (if there is anything like that), but I don't know what ... Does anyone has any suggestion for me?