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xkape (m)
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Important Rules For All Women During The World Cup!
Extremely important advice and recommendations to be passed on to wives, girlfriends, fiancés, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc. (to all women in general)
These rules are to be communicated prior to the World Cup in June/July this year, [/b]
List Of Rules.
1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored.
DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).
3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting
me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you
expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor, it wont happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry,
they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know
more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if
the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to
"spend time together".
8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.
9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.
10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but
you have already seen this, why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
12. Please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because
after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.
13. And finally,do not ask me if I consider football more important than you. In a contest between you and football, FOOTBALL ALWAYS WINS !!!
Thank you for your cooperation.
Regards,
Men of the World
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dominobaby (f)
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Oh yeah
*rolls eyes*
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Seun (m)
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Point 13 spoils the entire list. It's a very bad ending to a very promising joke. May I remove it?
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davidylan (m)
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 Great compilation boy! - Make sure you make alternate arrangements for taking out the thrash for the duration of the world cup
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vichel (m)
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which one of em do u want to change? because they look fair enough to me |
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Damest09 (f)
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I watch football sometimes and I'm not obsessed. World cup football is like any other football match I've seen before, men finds it difficult to sit down, analyze and make wrong comments, annoys somepeople when shouting, kick the air and hurt themselves, when their supported team l***, they cry for days and take it out on someone else. I wish men could really get a life apart from football.
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omogenaija (f)
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I agree with u homegirl.
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davidylan (m)
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I watch football sometimes and I'm not obsessed. World cup football is like any other football match I've seen before, men finds it difficult to sit down, analyze and make wrong comments, annoys somepeople when shouting, kick the air and hurt themselves, when their supported team l***, they cry for days and take it out on someone else. I wish men could really get a life apart from football.
Pele, damest09 it's in the genes, we also don't understand why we so love the game but it's not our fault don't be mad at us. our fathers loved it so did our uncles. when we were small we did not understand why our fathers wanted to see Nig vs Tun when we wanted to play catcher. now that we are older, we now understand. try and forgive us ok. a little snacks and kisses will be greatly appreciated as we watch ok? |
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Priscila (f)
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Xkape!
just take the next flight to Germany and spare us your dictatorship!
I wonder what a real fan and man should be doing on TV instead of attending the live matches in Germany. I can spare you a ticket if you withdraw all those unrully rules
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osteen (m)
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My guy we all love football, but if we will have to go with the rules then we will be in need of an automated cooking machine  |
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Skintite (f)
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Hmmmm, well those of us that will join the men to watch n xpect him to follow the rules too e be like say hunger go kill us for house  because i aint doin nothin either xcept after the games n the highlights  |
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Priscila (f)
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Skintite!
It goes if you can't beat them join them!
Being African men they are I requeat Ladies! join your men if you don't want those hard blows or even to avoid being dumped!
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vichel (m)
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skintite true talk on your part. The whole house would go hungry, but remember in the rules, u are only allowed to watched just one match with him lol!! |
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Damest09 (f)
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Pele, damest09
it's in the genes, we also don't understand why we so love the game but it's not our fault don't be mad at us.
our fathers loved it so did our uncles. when we were small we did not understand why our fathers wanted to see Nig vs Tun when we wanted to play catcher. now that we are older, we now understand.
try and forgive us ok. a little snacks and kisses will be greatly appreciated as we watch ok?
I know its in guys blood and a little tasteless snacks and kisses will be good. I know some countries you expected to be there are not in the world cup, now who are you supporting? or you guys are just watching it for fun? Good luck to whoever you support.  |
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xkape (m)
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TO THE FAITHFULL
Do not be perturbed if the women refuse you food and other pleasures at this time. Football shall sustain us through this holy period.
Also it is a great pity that our great country NIGERIA will not be at this great event (thanks to Galadimma, Chukwu and the rest) but this should not discourage us from supporting our Ivorian, Ghanaian and Togolese brothers.
Nwoke, do not remove rule 13 please.It is my personal favorite
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Damest09 (f)
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TO THE FAITHFUL GUYS
Let football be your food and let it sustain you, by the time you finish watching the game you will remember what is called real food and you'll be able to go to the kitchen.
Tell your women you prefer football to them (rule 13) and football will give you food and other pleasures you desire through the holy period.
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vichel (m)
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we do not desire pleasure during the holy period
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Damest09 (f)
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maybe you're religious or you are being 'guy' ironically
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vichel (m)
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the latter and what is ironic bout it? |
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ijele (m)
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what a wonderful thread and rules,I have to give this rules to my new girlfriend
She has to accept it or,
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ijele (m)
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what a wonderful thread and rules,I have to give this rules to my new girlfriend
She has to accept it or,
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4 Play (m)
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Women always claim to have empathy but they do not seem to appreciate how much the World Cup means to us.I believe any woman who realy loves her man should show some understanding during this sacred period,which afterall only comes every 4 years.
I also believe that there exists some kind of curse afflicting women,perhaps due to the transgressions of Eve ,which prevents them from appreciating the joy and sheer pleasure you can get from following football.It sure beats the multiple orgasms some women can have.
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GUNNER (f)
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[color=#000099] i feel u man soccer all da way! |
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sade511 (f)
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What countrieds made it to the World cup?
Did Nigeria make it to the World Cup?
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bolex (m)
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***hiss*** if Naija was there now ehen , those rules can apply But , nigga .,,,, how much would you be paid for choosing football over your wife lol re-think o But sha Na addiction No blame guys For that period , you gotta manage @ da ladies |
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Idekeson (m)
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Help! I'm loosing interest in soccer faster than I can explain. Other sports like football, baseball and basketball are threatening the continued existence of soccer in my life. I am afraid soccer is losing the battle because I can't watch a 90 minutes game anymore except Nigeria is playing.
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xkape (m)
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Help! I'm loosing interest in soccer faster than I can explain. Other sports like football, baseball and basketball are threatening the continued existence of soccer in my life. I am afraid soccer is losing the battle because I can't watch a 90 minutes game anymore except Nigeria is playing.
BLASPHEMY!!!Idekson u need to seek absolution for ur pursuit of strange sports. baseball ? basketball? these are all heretical activities. U need to take a pilgrimage to the holy land (Brazil) |
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Priscila (f)
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Fore play oga!
Your name seems to rhyme your brains as much as you try to twist to 4 play!
ladies here demand respect from you obscenic people!You are very new on the forum and if you would like to discuss sex venture into the dating zone on this forum.
please don't force your sickly talks on us and if I cough you will disappear in a night!
NO time for your type here, But do I say!
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