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olakunle_2 (m)
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Nigerian Marrying Their Own Kind
Okay i wouldn't say this is a problem but i just want u guy's opinion. Well i have been in the states now for about 10 years with my family and i am at that point in my life when i need to settle down and stuff.
The problem is that my parents will not support me marrying a foreigner, it has to be a nigerian girl. Well i really don't have a problem with that but my deal is why do our parents have close minds about their kids marrying outside of the race or even ethnic grp and must i say that it is a tall task for me now the fact being that there are no Nigerian girls where am at and I haven't been in nigeria in 10 years.
I mean are Nigerian girls any different from othe races, shouldn't it all be about who you fall in love with?
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ability (m)
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Love is the answer, but also remember tha we africans has our culture and dignity to maintain hence you must listern to your parents advice.There lots of nigerians beautiful and intellected girls waiting for mate like u. Come home.
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Free (f)
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well uumm i think that your parent want you to marry a naija gurl, and not somebody outside because cultural differences can be a problem is something that you have to put in consideration, but like i alwayz say if the love ya have for each other is strong noting can change that , your love would conquer all,  |
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olakunle_2 (m)
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well i guess u are kinda right becuase i was married once to a white lady offcourse, that only lasted 2 years and the cultural diff had a lot to do with it, but the feeling my parents have is that a nigerian girl would have been willing to stick around longer and work our marriage out,.but i guess that i am starting to lean towards the whole aura about nigerian girls and happy marriages.i guess i will find out one day
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LoverBwoy (m)
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An igbo man wont let his daughter marry a Yoruba/Hausa talk less of foreigners
I think nigerians just like things they are used to , culture ,food, respect,way of doing things stuff like that
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Hotstepper (f)
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mind you, most igbo people let their kids marry from otehr tribes nooooooooooo it all just depend on da person in most cases, I know alot of people that are married to a yoruba person etccccc, I personally will stick to my igbo people cuz I find it hard learning people;'s way of life and wnanna keep the tradition going and to think of it, majority of my friends are yoruba  |
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kimba (m)
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@olakunle well i guess u are kind of right becuase i was married once to a white lady offcourse, that only lasted 2 years that is possibly why your parents now want you to get hitched to a nija woman. But honestly i dont believe in the you-are-a-nigeria, you-must-marry-a-nigerian doctrine. I call such a mentality a fake-ID. I agree with @ability Love is the answer Definitely before you even think of marriage, i believe both of you should have made up your mind to put cultural differences aside before you decided to wear the same shoe. abi be ko? |
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whocares
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I think it is a generation thing,but frankly those old folks are usually right. You can't control who you love, but like you've already experienced, love is not always enough. we nigerians are unique with our wierd sense of being, it takes one to know one. so yes, i'm sitting on the fence on this one :-)
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comechop (m)
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Men, the reluctance of the family to foreign marriages is understandable, seeing the rate of divorce and everything, but man, if you are looking for TRUE beauty, not just in face, but beauty in character, in mind and spirit, and a true christain, i'd say go for it even though she is not from Naija. And also arrange a meeting for her and your parents so that your parents can see for themselves that you are not bringing home any yeye girl. As for me I am going INTERNATIONAL, i.e neither Naija or American girl for real. INTERNATIONALS are the way FORWARD!
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chinani (f)
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Ya'll are right. I don't think anyone MUST marry anyone else b/c of any reason. But I do think it's extra adorable when Naijas Abroad marry other Naijas. It's like: In the sea of all these diff. people I have another Naija (or something like that). That's just me though. I just say an extra long "Ahhh" at the wedding. |
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t4cash (m)
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This topic dey somehow, Why? Because the answer depends on who the foreigner/Nigerian is.
Marriage is haaaaaaaaaaard. Believe me. Its not a destination, its a journey that is supposed to end with the death of either partner. The similarity of cultures should never be the critical component of the decision. Compatibility should be.
However, let me just chip into all those living abroad considering a foreigner as a life mate, should ask yourself "Might I want to come back one day" b/c One day one day, Nigeria go better. If your answer is yes, then consider testing your foreign fiance(e) by bringing her to Nigeria for a vacation before marrying her. Also make this clear to her, that one day you will love to return. Many otherwise "good" foreigners can not live here.
I have a good friend living in the States whose father is a politician. He is going for the House next year. Its a done deal. I mean his dad is the kingmaker of the State and he is his dad's namesake. His lovely Black American wife is refusing to return with him, and doesn't want him to go for the house. This is causing him problems.
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olakunle_2 (m)
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see i guess that i kinda have to agree with my parents on this one, everything they have told me about my past relationships and even my past marriage has been dead on point, but it is still a lot of pressure and stress though trying to look for a nigerian girl in a place where there is none.And not even any nigerian girl, no that will not do, she has to be yoruba, i mean even within nigerians that are educated, there is still ethnic racism and prejudice!!
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chinani (f)
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@ olakunle_2 You might be one of the lucky ones who has parents that are always right. Where do you live in VA? Close to any colleges? Or D.C? Or Baltimore? If not, you're SOL. Might seem corny, but why not take out a personal ad or post something on Craigslist. (Nairaland as well of course!) Can't hurt. Also do you have any cousins, esp female ones. They'll know where the pretty girls hang out. As for Yoruba like you, er, that's a tall order. Your 'rents might have to settle for a Moroccan chic or something.  Also, I'm sure they're lots of halvies roaming around VA wondering about a nice Yoruba man. Check on 'em. |
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nawah (f)
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This is a very difficult topic. My son also got married to a German woman. I do not think she would be interested in living in Nigeria. I do not even know if it would be fair to ask it of her. Certainly it has some problems but these are minor problems that can be sorted out. Sometimes she does things I just have to shake my head. I mean no Nigerian girl would do such things, but I think she does it out of ignorance.
A Nigerian girl would also have her own problems more I maybe.
Anyway I cannot live my sons life for him, that was his decision and I have to respect it. IN fairness to the girl - I must say she is trying her best. Yes I think i am content with her as a daughter in law.We are quite close.When she had her child she wanted me to be there with her and not her mum. That was a wonderful experience and also a sign for me that I mean something to her.
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olakunle_2 (m)
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see chinani, that is something i will never do though, i mean take out a personal ad, you are right that just spells desperate, i would rather just stay single than do that.well my parents live in the dc area and i do get a chance to go home here and there but i am never there long enough to actually get something going. my sisters lives in dc too but i don't think i can ever ask them to fix me up uno, i am embarrased byt stuff like that
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chinani (f)
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I feel you. Internet dating, hook ups and personal ads aren't my cup of tea. I for one would never say "Can I date your friend? Is she single?" either. But, if you can accompany your sisters to places you can meet like minded people. Make up your mind though. That way you won't marry & think "She was the only other Yoruba person in the county" or "I didn't marry a Naija lady but she will do". You don't sound like that type of man though. But don't you have other Nigerian friends? What do they do for dates? Just wondering.
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olakunle_2 (m)
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yeah that is part of my sad story, i have zero nigerian friends. see i lived in san diego for like 8years and they are just nothere, not that i saw anyways and now i am in norfolk and they aint there either. i mean if you don'tlive in like dc/maryland,new jersey or houston, it is kinda hard to come across our kind anywhere else.
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chinani (f)
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Sorry dude. Keep your head up.You'll meet a nice lady. Or move.  |
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ocho (f)
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@olakunle_2: Oh my! poor you!  I know this is not the time for sympathy but i can't help it seeing as my parents are(will be) like that too. The whole"no marrying a foreigner" speech? i must have heared it a thousand times already! Ok, from your recent post you live in places where it is hard to come across our kind right? have you considered um, relocating? ok, maybe not relocating in the real sence of it because u might have a job right now(sorry, wasn't thinking about that) but you could go on vaction at those places that are some what populated with Nigerians. Better still, you could just return to Nigeria and reside there for a while(i'm sure you miss home ) and begin the dating process. I know it's possible that finding the "one" and getting to know her might take longer than your intended stay in Nigeria but then the relationship could always continue after you return to Norfolk. (where on earth is that?  ) I know this guy who was actually born here and is not Nigerian in anyway(well, except for the fact that his parents are) and he was the last person I was expecting to go home mainly in search of a wife but he did, and he got one.  So maybe you should think about that too.  I really wish you well and hope you find the "one" soon enough. |
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prince_onx
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l can't get how you've lived in America for 10yrs, your family (sisters especailly) live in Maryland of almighty Nigerians and you have no Nigerian friend! Nada! not even one! You don't have to but telling me there're no Nigerians where you live is not true! maybe you just don't know they are or don't associate with them! I have bunch of Nigeria friends in Norfolks and as we speak I can't think of a place in this world without Nigerians! Ol'boy we dey allover open your eyes! Well going back to the topic I think its very important to marry someone from the same Country! personally I speak, read, and write four Nigerian languages but still I'll preffer someone from the same place, with the same culture if possible! that way most things won't be new or suprise to her! Good thing you were married to a white lady so have I and someother people! to some its the best thing that ever happen in their life but for me and you, bros we know say e no work! everything is completely opposite the other from the language to the food, to the believes, the tradition, the culture, rules, just name! so Ol'boy listen to that oldman find naija wife (them full allover no come to me with that them no dey thing) visit places if you have to, talk to family friends in different state, different cities! travel if you have to only say you don leave home for over a decade but still you never can tell! call people at home! its not going to be easy cux looking for our girls (good one) is tougher than America Visa but believe me its worth it!
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mamaput (f)
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All that was once
today money talks .
If an igbo girl comes up with a rich hausa man taht will take care of them , they will start calling him our son even b4 the marrage,
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chinani (f)
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All that was once
today money talks .
If an igbo girl comes up with a rich hausa man taht will take care of them , they will start calling him our son even before the marrage,
LMAO ! |
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kajad (m)
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All that was once
today money talks .
If an igbo girl comes up with a rich hausa man taht will take care of them , they will start calling him our son even before the marrage,
you don come again mamaput abeg no kill person with laugh |
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dominobaby (f)
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Sry to, em, go off topic a lil, @nawah, u've got a son who's married 2 a German lady, dnt mind me*just wondering hw old u jst might be*
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Idekeson (m)
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Fear of the unknown. It's a natural thing. Whites prefer Whites, Asians to Asians, Blacks to Blacks etc. Of course there exceptions to the general rule and it is encouraged. Maybe you can be one of them.
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nawah (f)
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@ dominobaby . I´m only 40 years young Mamaput nawah O. Money talks and bullshit works. Even inlaws have a price! |
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Bright2 (m)
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As i am trafficating to nairaland,& since your inlaw will be part of your family,your parents will like both 2 finally be in 1 area & they believe white girl cant stay in Nigeria with u which means u cant finally base in your mother land &in some cases that hapened in my area, it's true, 4me i support your parents but if u insist 2 do it your own way,carry go.
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Old Glory (m)
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Why limit your choice of women to race,tribe or nationality? Love comes in all colors,shapes and sizes. Especially if you are in the US, u see it everyday and everywhere. The "melting pot" works and as long as we all bleed red, then marry whomever makes you happy.
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wenasah (f)
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well, you know what, the Nigeria reunion is coming up during the summer. in ATL and DC, pick your choice, it is a great place and time to meet alot of nigerians especially gals, so look out for that, it might just be your big break
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chinani (f)
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well, you know what, the Nigeria reunion is coming up during the summer. in ATL and DC, pick your choice, it is a great place and time to meet alot of nigerians especially gals, so look out for that, it might just be your big break
OMG, really? Er, can you give me the dates or websites for those two locations. Thanks. |
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Hotstepper (f)
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I think it is just in ATL ohhhhh,
The Nigerian Reunion Corporation (NRC) Presents
The 10th Annual Nigerian Reunion
NRC 2006 DECADE REUNION will take place in Atlanta Georgia at the Sheraton Hotel, Atlanta, GA from June 30th - July 4th, 2006.
For 10 Years NRC has united Nigerians and Nigerian Descendants in the Diaspora and this year's reunion promises to be Bigger and the Best Yet.
NRC is taking the reunion back to where it all started 10 years ago, ATLANTA!!!
Keep the date! Registration & Additional information coming Soon!!!
VisitNRC Online for more information.
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