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The Lunacy Of The English Language - Education (2) - Nairaland

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Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by alons: 2:24pm On May 15, 2015
no wounder patience jonathan no even send weather u like her english or nt...diaris god oo#
Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by kradleber: 2:24pm On May 15, 2015
Hidentity:
Succinct and deep. The oral English aspect worries me the most. Just yesterday, I discovered that 'Satchet' is pronounced 'SaKit'. All is well.


lol ..
Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by kradleber: 2:25pm On May 15, 2015
..
Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by gunners160(m): 2:25pm On May 15, 2015
Menh,c has people 4 Nl put English 4 head like say na 6 unit course. There is God o o o
Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by baybeeboi: 2:32pm On May 15, 2015
ITbomb:
Heavy problem

How English becomes German
.
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza.
.
Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas
alabukun is recommended.
Too much high

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by DEIFIED(m): 2:35pm On May 15, 2015
Complicated language for the complicated beings.
Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by oluamid(m): 2:37pm On May 15, 2015
Hidentity:
Succinct and deep. The oral English aspect worries me the most. Just yesterday, I discovered that 'Satchet' is pronounced 'SaKit'. All is well.

Wrong. Satchet is spelled "Sachet" and it is pronounced "sashei" and not "sakit". Well, except you mean "circuit" which is closer in pronunciation to "sakit".


A sachet /ˈsæʃeɪ/ is a small cloth scented bag filled with herbs, potpourri, or aromatic ingredients.

#JustSaying

3 Likes

Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by rumomonga(m): 2:44pm On May 15, 2015
Beautiful
Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by IamOdin: 2:45pm On May 15, 2015
natureblack:
This little treatise on the lovely English language am about to share is only for the brave.Peruse at your leisure,English lovers.


* How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend ?

* I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

* Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

* After a number of injections my jaw got number.

* To help with planting,the farmer taught his sow to sow.

* The seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

* They were too close to the door to close it.

* I did not object to the object.

* When shot at,the dove dove into the bushes.

* We must polish the Polish furniture.

* The dump was full that it had to refuse more refuse.

* The farm was used to produce produce.

* The bandage was wound around the wound.




[size=35pt] LMFAO grin grin grin [/size]
Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by ayodijex(m): 2:46pm On May 15, 2015
maggilove:
I understand u very well because I studied English in the university, all languages have their own dynamism that's what u should try to understand.
Loool....sister please,English is quite different and so silly,i so hate that language..*spits*.the fact that it doesn't have a stable pattern alone makes it even more silly....knowledge is correct but priviledge is wrong??..i mean what's that??...
You're a graduate of it as you say na,i don't need to give more examples of the idiotic language we have chosen as our lingua franca... Check poilsh,italian and some others,these languages abide with one pattern and makes it even easier to learn.
As for me o,i've given up on Englist tail tail..
#OkBye.

2 Likes

Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by Ibime(m): 2:49pm On May 15, 2015
ITbomb:
Heavy problem

How English becomes German
.
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza.
.
Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas

This is genius

2 Likes

Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by bukatyne(f): 2:51pm On May 15, 2015
Lovely piece
Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by WaffenSS(m): 2:53pm On May 15, 2015
harbdulrasaq88:
It's the lunacy of the English language.

A retired teacher of English once wrote: 'English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplants, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore it's paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing; grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, two geese. So one moose, two meese?.Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? . If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane .You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.


http://www.edificationinfo.com/2015/05/the-lunacy-of-english-language.html

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

How can a girl be both cool and hot at the same time?

Why is it cargo by ship, but shipping by car?

Doeant expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?

1 Like

Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by Hidentity(m): 2:56pm On May 15, 2015
oluamid:


Wrong. Satchet is spelled "Sachet" and it is pronounced "sashei" and not "sakit". Well, except you mean "circuit" which is closer in pronunciation to "sakit".


A sachet /ˈsæʃeɪ/ is a small cloth scented bag filled with herbs, potpourri, or aromatic ingredients.

#JustSaying

Not circuit friend, I did not write the actually transcription anyway. But I used an electronic dictionary that pronounced it as such. Used to pronounce it as you did before now. I think that we both need to research a bit more. Thanks for being so civil in your approach.
Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by Hidentity(m): 2:57pm On May 15, 2015
oluamid:


Wrong. Satchet is spelled "Sachet" and it is pronounced "sashei" and not "sakit". Well, except you mean "circuit" which is closer in pronunciation to "sakit".


A sachet /ˈsæʃeɪ/ is a small cloth scented bag filled with herbs, potpourri, or aromatic ingredients.

#JustSaying

Not circuit friend, I did not write the actual transcription anyway. But I used an electronic dictionary that pronounced it as such. Used to pronounce it as you did before now. I think that we both need to research a bit more. Thanks for being so civil in your approach.
Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by Zhozadaemon(m): 2:59pm On May 15, 2015
kradleber:
I'm so in love with the English Language. I don't care if you tag the language 'lunatic'..Always scored A1/B1 in it. so addicted to the language that I read the dictionary everyday routinely and novels.


One thing I love mostly about it is the vastness, limitlessness and infiniteness. So many words, plus its wild fun trying to bend those words and try manipulating them like a cruciverbalist would.. say like creating puns, entendres etcetera.

English is such a blessing to the world..I wish it was my first language though.

I think the closest to English in depth.. Roman...or maybe Greek..
A1/B1....part of the lunacy sire

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by kradleber: 3:01pm On May 15, 2015
natureblack:
This little treatise on the lovely English language am about to share is only for the brave.Peruse at your leisure,English lovers.


* How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend ?

* I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

* Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

* After a number of injections my jaw got number.

* To help with planting,the farmer taught his sow to sow.

* The seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

* They were too close to the door to close it.

They are heteronyms.(Homographs) ..
Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by IamOdin: 3:01pm On May 15, 2015
ITbomb:
Heavy problem

How English becomes German
.
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza.
.
Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas

Oboi..u get swag.. grin grin
Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by lazsnaira(m): 3:04pm On May 15, 2015
You did a good job Op.
Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by kradleber: 3:04pm On May 15, 2015
.
Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by kradleber: 3:08pm On May 15, 2015
Zhozadaemon:
A1/B1....part of the lunacy sire
lol ..that was a typo not lunacy.. A1/B2
Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by Nobody: 3:13pm On May 15, 2015
Jatijati shey na human being born dis op? Not making sense
Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by alikor2(m): 3:19pm On May 15, 2015
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Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by maggilove(f): 3:19pm On May 15, 2015
kradleber:



What university did you study English?
UNILAG
Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by ologundudu7: 3:28pm On May 15, 2015
Another lunacy is when someone says "The lady on red dress","instead" of "The lady in red"...cuz she's actually "in" the dress.
I swear i understand Yoruba more than this Lingua Francisca called English.
Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by Egbagirl(f): 3:28pm On May 15, 2015
Hidentity:


Not circuit friend, I did not write the actually transcription anyway. But I used an electronic dictionary that pronounced it as such. Used to pronounce it as you did before now. I think that we both need to research a bit more. Thanks for being so civil in your approach.

Don't rely on electronic dictionaries. The word is not pronounced 'sakit' but as the other poster indicated. Check a standard dictionary or even Google.
Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by Volksfuhrer(m): 3:34pm On May 15, 2015
ITbomb:
Heavy problem

How English becomes German
.
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza.
.
Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas

This really got me laughing... I'm still laughing as I type this!
Dis your Euro-English, na die grin
Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by IyfeNamikaze(m): 3:38pm On May 15, 2015
Hidentity:
Succinct and deep. The oral English aspect worries me the most. Just yesterday, I discovered that 'Satchet' is pronounced 'SaKit'. All is well.

actually it's pronounced "sashe " and the "t" is silent
Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by ologundudu7: 3:41pm On May 15, 2015
alons:
no wounder patience jonathan no even send weather u like her english or nt...diaris god oo#

hmmmm,alons,this joke u are sharing about mama peace,take time o,na only u waka come?
Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by Awoofawo(m): 3:43pm On May 15, 2015
ITbomb:
Heavy problem

How English becomes German
.
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza.
.
Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas

Lol! While we in Africa will be the only one english as it is now. Or are we going to change english usage convention too!

About time will look inward for a befitting language to use o jare!
Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by kokomilala(m): 3:45pm On May 15, 2015
The English language is easily the. most catholic language in the world...at times, by streets, it thumps other languages in terms of its cosmopolitan character.It has taken from so many languages in the world.From the Greeks to the Romans; from the Vikings in Holland to the French, to the Germans even from Swahili.
It had its own teething problems.For 25 centuries, people erroneously explained the structure of English with Latin structure or grammar until people began to question the anomaly.But, it has weathered the storm down the ages and its beauty never ceases to capture the imagination.

1 Like

Re: The Lunacy Of The English Language by ologundudu7: 3:45pm On May 15, 2015
baybeeboi:
alabukun is recommended. Too much high
rotflmao,alabukun abi? me i think ogidiga is better

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