IYADARA:
Dear men,

It is wrong if you help ur wife with house chores?

? Do u feel comfortable watching ur wife do all d works at home and all u could do is to ask for sex and food after?

Can't u help ur wife who works as well to cater for the family...? You both leave in d morning, you even most time get home before her, will it reduce ur ego if u at least try to fix the meal or something else before she comes back?

How do u feel when she comes back very tired and goes straight into d kitchen, sweeps, do d dishes, bath ur baby, nursed her to sleep, sometimes washes clothes while trying to fix ur meal and all you could do is to play games or read dead stories, waiting for ur food to be served while she riots..

Little wonder female tend to die faster than dear husband...

Men, I need ur honest contribution, to know if am over reacting

IYADARA:
Dear men,

Little wonder female tend to die faster than dear husband...

Men, I need ur honest contribution, to know if am over reacting

IYADARA:
Dear men,

It is wrong if you help ur wife with house chores?

? Do u feel comfortable watching ur wife do all d works at home and all u could do is to ask for sex and food after?

Can't u help ur wife who works as well to cater for the family...? You both leave in d morning, you even most time get home before her, will it reduce ur ego if u at least try to fix the meal or something else before she comes back?

How do u feel when she comes back very tired and goes straight into d kitchen, sweeps, do d dishes, bath ur baby, nursed her to sleep, sometimes washes clothes while trying to fix ur meal and all you could do is to play games or read dead stories, waiting for ur food to be served while she riots..

Little wonder female tend to die faster than dear husband...

Men, I need ur honest contribution, to know if am over reacting

crackhaus:

To be honest, your husband is in the best position to answer these tough questions...

IYADARA:
Dear men,

It is wrong if you help ur wife with house chores?
No it's not.

? Do u feel comfortable watching ur wife do all d works at home and all u could do is to ask for sex and food after?
No

Can't u help ur wife who works as well to cater for the family...? You both leave in d morning, you even most time get home before her, will it reduce ur ego if u at least try to fix the meal or something else before she comes back?

No

How do u feel when she comes back very tired and goes straight into d kitchen, sweeps, do d dishes, bath ur baby, nursed her to sleep, sometimes washes clothes while trying to fix ur meal and all you could do is to play games or read dead stories, waiting for ur food to be served while she riots..

[b]The man ought to be ashamed of himself. Then again the woman should stop complaining on nairaland and use her God given talent : her mouth. She shouldn't nag but she should start asking for help. Some men don't even know the stress their wives pass through until maybe one day the woman travels and the man has to cater for himself for a while. Another thing to do is to ask indirectly i.e say the clothes are to much and u need a washing machine. Send him on errands, men like to feel they are using their muscles to help with the housework. It's when u ask for effeminate things that they feel it's wrong or not necessary and then they protest. E. G

As you go straight to the kitchen tell him to pls come help do the dishes so you can make his food on time. Hence he feels he is helping you and helping himself. As you bath the baby tell him to help soak the clothes. While soaking it rush to sweep and while sweeping ask him to help wash one or two fabrics that you are coming. It would be easier if u had a washing machine cos you'd just tell him to help you get it started. The way you say it matters. You are a woman, use your tongue well.

If you demand for help it will only cause unnecessary argument and you wind back at square one. Read the book "she stoops to conquer". Many tricks on handling a lazy man in there.[/b]

Little wonder female tend to die faster than dear husband...
This is not true. Men die faster.

Men, I need ur honest contribution, to know if am over reacting
And now you have it.

nikenry:
or hiring housemaid.

lilmax:
The circumstances surrounding the op post is alarming, it seems she's fed up doing the chores, all you have to do is ask

Mrs0J:


why should a woman ask before a man can help out when he's not blind?

Mrs0J:


why should a woman ask before a man can help out when he's not blind?

LewsTherin:


It doesn't hurt to ask. I don't know about the OP's particular situation, but men are wired differently and many a time, we don't see these things.

Myself as an example. I help out in the kitchen regularly. I mean I make a good number of our meals. I got us a washing mashine so that takes care of the laundry - which I also help out as the case may be. We have a lady come in once a week to do a thorough cleaning and since it's just me, my Lady and the Princess, we don't make much of a mess and if we do, I don't just sit and watch her clean house. I'm trying to say I'm a hands-on husband and father.

But for some reason, my Lady is always doing something. I don't know what she does. I don't see what she does. But she's always busy. Many times I've had to tell her to sit the sod down and rest her feet. But every now and then, she's busy.

A woman may understand but I don't. Only when she says "help me get bla bla bla", or "help me do so and such" do I get an idea of what she's doing and help her do it.

LewsTherin:
My point is this. Depending on a man's upbringing and personality, he may not see what is ticking his woman off. All she has to do is ask. If that doesn't work, then we have a different issue on hand.

lilmax:
what if he's blind?

socrateez:
Most times it is the man's upbringing that comes to play in the home.

We had a discussion on this issue with some couples recently and I asked if they are teaching their boys how to support in doing house chores in their respective homes. The answer is no. So I said their daughters in law will face the problem they are presently facing.

The truth is that a guy who did not grow up doing house chores will find it difficult to enter into the kitchen and soil his hands when married. This should have been detected during courtship so that a lady knows what to expect after marriage. If you date a guy who does not have cooking pot but relies on eateries for dinner, you shouldn't expect him to join you in the kitchen after marriage.

If your man does not know how to support you with house chores what do you do?

Ask. Don't assume he should know what to do. Make a gentle request that he helps hold the baby while you're in the kitchen. Be bold and courteous. he will begin to learn.

Mrs0J:


Then it's excusable, not when he's not and yet doesn't help out without been asked.

bukatyne:

Sieving the Amala etc.?


True

LewsTherin:


It doesn't hurt to ask. I don't know about the OP's particular situation, but men are wired differently and many a time, we don't see these things.

Myself as an example. I help out in the kitchen regularly. I mean I make a good number of our meals. I got us a washing mashine so that takes care of the laundry - which I also help out as the case may be. We have a lady come in once a week to do a thorough cleaning and since it's just me, my Lady and the Princess, we don't make much of a mess and if we do, I don't just sit and watch her clean house. I'm trying to say I'm a hands-on husband and father.

But for some reason, my Lady is always doing something. I don't know what she does. I don't see what she does. But she's always busy. Many times I've had to tell her to sit the sod down and rest her feet. But every now and then, she's busy.

A woman may understand but I don't. Only when she says "help me get bla bla bla", or "help me do so and such" do I get an idea of what she's doing and help her do it.

My point is this. Depending on a man's upbringing and personality, he may not see what is ticking his woman off. All she has to do is ask. If that doesn't work, then we have a different issue on hand.

bukatyne:


@Bold:

I am amused when I see women who complain about unhelping husbands still train their sons NOT to help in chores.

Then why the heck are they complaining about their husbands?

@IYADARA:

Go with the suggestions of you asking your husband, he might not know

Again, I will have to ask: How do you run you home? I know you are working but do you contribute to the finances or it is a case of he handling finance while you handle the home front?

If yes, biko get to work or get a maid from your pocket

bukatyne:

LewsTherin:


Sieving the amala? SIEVING THE WHAAAT? Dem dey sieve amala? Wow!!!

They say you learn everyday. I'm not sure I've learnt this one yet oh! Still too stunned!!

socrateez:
Most times it is the man's upbringing that comes to play in the home.

The truth is that a guy who did not grow up doing house chores will find it difficult to enter into the kitchen and soil his hands when married. This should have been detected during courtship so that a lady knows what to expect after marriage. If you date a guy who does not have cooking pot but relies on eateries for dinner, you shouldn't expect him to join you in the kitchen after marriage.

Mrs0J:


No be laughing matter oo, d tin dey pain cos hubby is exactly what the OP described.

LewsTherin:


Very true. In a bid to show how many yards of wife material that they are, many females will not let their boyfriends lift a finger to help with chores. Then when they get married they expect the guy to know that it is his duty to help with chores and hurt when he doesn't