obowunmi:
Has anyone been in a situation like mine?

Is she preggers?

bukatyne:


Is she preggers?

NO.

obowunmi:


NO.

So what's binding you to her?

bukatyne:


So what's binding you to her?

Nothing. She doesn't want to leave and I'm tired of searching.

Please do not go into that marriage. It is not worth it. Stand your ground and let your family know that you do not love the girl and there is no point forcing the union only for both of you to be miserable. This is for both your good. As a grown man, I'm still confused about how you can let your family pressurise you into marriage

Na wa ......op go and get married,you can cheat if you want to

heavensown:
Please do not go into that marriage. It is not worth it. Stand your ground and let your family know that you do not love the girl and there is no point forcing the union only for both of you to be miserable. This is for both your good. As a grown man, I'm still confused about how you can let your family pressurise you into marriage

oh boy, you have no idea, especially if you are an only son.

obowunmi:
Has anyone been in a situation like mine?

Many people.
Have u had sex with her? that will make it all the more difficult for you two to separate.
If you get married you are going to start resenting her more than you do now.
You are going to feel that she is responsible for whatever goes wrong in your life after the marriage
You will wake up every morning and look at her and wonder what made you give in: By then all the pressure from your parents would have died down since you are now married) And the more you look at her the more resentment you will feel.
You will get angry for no known reason.
the more people ask how your "wonderful wife is doing" the more pissed you'll become knowing you have to lie and put up a smiley face all the time.
you may begin to beat her, something you never dreamed you would ever do to a woman.
You will then feel ashamed of yourself, even guilty for bringing her into your life more especially when she gets pregnant.
To cover the shame you might be forced to take up bad habits like excessive drinking or smoking.
Having affairs is a given, you will begin to seek validation with women out there. You will think you are doing it to spite her for not leaving you when she could but you'll also find you are not satisfied.
Adultery, domestic violence, STDs, guilt, persistent anger and irritation, and a distraction from your life's goals: All this is what you are looking at.

Don't do it bro.

There's a difference between this and an arranged marriage bro.

In an arranged marriage there is no animosity. There is no feeling at all actually. You see the girl, you like the way she looks, you ask your parents or whoever to send her over or whatever. the arrangement takes place. You can learn to love her from there but at least you were initially attracted by something.

in this one you already resent her, that's a very baaaaaad start. A wedding is just for a day. the prison of marriage is for a lifetime. Choose your cell-mate wisely.

Whatever you do, don't.
Don't get married to that girl.
We beg you to spare us another tale of an unhappy home.

Congrats

obowunmi:


Nothing. She doesn't want to leave and I'm tired of searching.

Good luck then

A desperate girl + An impatient guy = A prefect match

And they lived happily ever after

bukatyne:


Good luck then

A desperate girl + An impatient guy = A prefect match

And they lived happily ever after

How am I impatient? I am 30. How long should I wait?

obowunmi:


How am I impatient? I am 30. How long should I wait?

You are 30 years....

Let's say life expectancy is 70yrs....

Are you willing to commit the reminder 40yrs + of your life to a woman you despise?

Like 5mins rightly pointed out, a woman you despise/don't like is different from a woman you have no feelings for (which can be built over time)

Yes, a number of guys are married by 30; some are even done with kids by 30....

However, everyone's time and chance is different.

If you believe in God, you can pray for His guidance...

Goodluck

at 30, you are not too old my brother. y d hurry? please spare her the trauma and look for a lady you like even if it's a little.

Sounds like some fairy tale.
Op pls, marriage is not by force.

obowunmi:

Huh?

She's smitten by the money. She can't do such. I treat her like shit and she still stayed.

Trust me, that lady knows what she's doing.

And no, she doesn't love you. The feeling is mutual. She knows exactly what she wants and won't mind how she gets treated as long as her mission is accomplished. Many women (and men) donot marry for love. Feel free to join their league.

Way forward? Marry her and make it work. Open marriage maybe?

You're welcome.

Phema:


Trust me, that lady knows what she's doing.

And no, she doesn't love you. The feeling is mutual. She knows exactly what she wants and won't mind how she gets treated as long as her mission is accomplished. Many women (and men) donot marry for love. Feel free to join their league.

Way forward? Marry her and make it work. Open marriage maybe?

You're welcome.

I see them a lot where I work. And I'm sure you see them too if you're willing to admit it.
All she wants is to get married. at all costs. She thinks as soon as she marries him he will change, he will learn to love her,as soon as she has a child for him he will settle down, the love will grow.
Most of the times these ladies are wrong. When everything goes south and she becomes miserable she will join the rank of frustrated women who come to nairaland to say all men are beasts and her husband does not really love her. Meanwhile she entered the relationship with both eyes open.

She doesnt know what she is doing. She doesnt know what she is signing up for.