When we devote time in training the maids on how to cook well, how to clean the house and on good mannerisms while leaving our own daughters untrained.

We overwork the maids and they adjust with equanimity because they need us to survive.

The maids turn out to manage the indignation and insolence we and our children subject them to. All these make the maids better wives who can manage even the angriest of men.

Our precious daughters are pampered through nursery and primary schools. They speak the English we want and know all the cartoon slangs by heart. We beat the maids blue black if they ever ask our girls to help out in domestic duties. They see kitchen things as maids' things.

The girls move from boarding schools to the university, do their NYSC, Masters and get a job. Of course, they are ripe for marriage and you wish that to happen soon.
From one relationship to another, the same story. The guys would parade and dump them. They are only good in bed, outings, clubs and red carpet functions.

The boys de-commit when they notice that the possible wife cannot cook, arrange things and are very domestically untrained. The rich guys can manage as they would mitigate the handicap by hiring a domestic help. Not all guys can afford this for a start.

The upcoming and very sensitive guys who would make good husbands, fathers and leaders would not manage these parents' inflicted shortcomings. They would settle for well trained ones. They know the value and the pride in hosting friends at home to delicious delicacies prepared by a wife.

My friends love eating the food my wife makes. My wife's proficiency in culinary matters and the joy she exudes in cooking different dishes for me has made me to stop eating outside. I tell people that as a titled man, that I'm forbidden to eat outside but I know the truth- no food can taste any better than my wife's. I'm also convinced that my addiction is not juju-inspired. It would have expired by now. We are married for 16 years+.

Not all your maids would remain your servants for ever. Some of them would finally do part-time studies and like a train, get to their God ordained destinations sooner or later.

Like a perfume, good guys perceive well trained wife materials from afar and dump the daughters of the bourgeois like hot iron. Long time happiness in at stake. No explanation is given. Sometimes, the sack message is made through a social medium.

Let your daughters learn what you teach your maids to make them compete for the few available good men if marriage is important to them. There are few guys who believe that marriage is for better for worse.

Don't be deceived; love is an active verb. Yes it is. You love; you loved; and you used to love. You can also hate who you used to love.

Therefore, some men are immune to pre-marital love blindness.

In practice, love can't cover the stench of bad early formation of our daughters.

Right now, educated former maids are now cornering better men on offer because they possess the requisite or set skills the highly perceptible and ready husband materials need.

Mothers please take note.
#copied from Adams Musa Tanko's wall.

Interesting.

So true...Same reasons why I've refused to let go of Ekaitte..Her soup na die and she cum gather no be small ...but still tryna convince ma momma to lemme marry Ekaitte

The op is just on point.

It is unthinkable to find out that your girlfriend or fiance cannot even boil rice let alone venturing into more complicated cooking exercise whereas many marriageable bachelors are born cooks.

Who want to marry a liability?

dacovajnr:
So true...Same reasons why I've refused to let go of Ekaitte..Her soup na die and she cum gather no be small ...but still tryna convince ma momma to lemme marry Ekaitte

Ekaitte.....

Who are these "suitors"?
Kai!

Ishawa ndi azu suitors! Shior.

Why can't the so-called suitors learn to cook their own gaddem food?
Always looking for SLAVES in and out of the bedroom.
Rubbish!

So the most important thing in marrying a wife is her culinary skills.
So you see a smart, intelligent, kindhearted, hardworking and beautiful lady, and you are still looking for if she can cook or scrub the house.
Some men love food more than success. Go and marry your mother's maid na

DollyParton1:
So the most important thing in marrying a wife is her culinary skills.
So you see a smart, intelligent, kindhearted, hardworking and beautiful lady, and you are still looking for if she can cook or scrub the house.
Some men love food more than success. Go and marry your mother's maid na

Hardworking ... can't cook lol okay , Most of the things you listed are masculine traits , they are good but not attractive (unless the guy is looking for a business partner)

TheMyth:
Hardworking ... can't cook lol okay , Most of the things you listed are masculine traits , they are good but not attractive (unless the guy is looking for a business partner)

Oh really?
What are the feminine traits o?

DollyParton1:

Oh really?
What are the feminine traits o?

. As you said being beautiful and kind hearted , being sweet, caring , gentle , empathetic , compassionate and deference (being submissive) if the last one is too much of a problem then just being respectful would do , having other good attributes without having this is like getting all As in waec then failing maths and English . And. for some damn reason guys seems to have the above traits more than women nowadays .

TheMyth:
. As you said being beautiful and kind hearted , being sweet, caring , gentle , empathetic , compassionate and deference (being submissive) if the last one is too much of a problem then just being respectful would do , having other good attributes without having this is like getting all As in waec then failing maths and English . And. for some damn reason guys seems to have the above traits more than women nowadays .

All these you mentioned are required of every human being both male and female.
I don't know what your definition of beautiful is.... If it has to do with the physical appearance, then it should not be on that list.

DollyParton1:

All these you mentioned are required of every human being both male and female.
I don't know what your definition of beautiful is.... If it has to do with the physical appearance, then it should not be on that list.

I said feminine traits ... a man can't be beautiful unless he is gay .. and yes all humans have all traits imaginable but for a human to be feminine means the person has a higher amount of feminine traits compared to masculine traits , if the masculine traits are more than the feminine then the person is said to be masculine ... so its not just bout the traits but bout the ratio

TheMyth:
I said feminine traits ... a man can't be beautiful unless he is gay .. and yes all humans have all traits imaginable but for a human to be feminine means the person has a higher amount of feminine traits compared to masculine traits , if the masculine traits are more than the feminine then the person is said to be masculine ... so its not just bout the traits but bout the ratio

Lol... seriously? You haven't heard beautiful being used to describe straight men?
I am telling you everything you mentioned in your earlier post are what is required of every human being in abundance. It is what you would teach your kids irrespective of their gender.
And all males and females must be smart and intelligent in the best way they can be.

DollyParton1:


Lol... seriously? You haven't heard beautiful being used to describe straight men?
I am telling you everything you mentioned in your earlier post are what is required of every human being in abundance. It is what you would teach your kids irrespective of their gender.
And all males and females must be smart and intelligent in the best way they can be.

. it can be abundant but it still adheres to ratio. No guy in this world or maybe very very few will be attracted to a woman based solely on her smarts or drive or determination it doesn't happen ever , if she has feminine traits and also incorporates these things however its a good plus . Beautiful men as I said its a feminine trait only sissies would refer to themselves as beautiful

TheMyth:
. it can be abundant but it still adheres to ratio. No guy in this world or maybe very very few will be attracted to a woman based solely on her smarts or drive or determination it doesn't happen ever , if she has feminine traits and also incorporates these things however its a good plus . Beautiful men as I said its a feminine trait only sissies would refer to themselves as beautiful

This is nothing about ratio, but basically about what is required. I do not want a man who is not as equally as caring as I am. Or whose compassion, kindness, empathy, or gentleness is below mine. I basically do not want an àśśhole as a partner or friend.
Lol... very few men find intelligent ladies endearing? Well, the world must be filled with lots of dumb men then. (Thank God, that's not the case).
A very smart man who is not a chauvinist will prefer an equally smart woman. Come On!!! How does one have a "mindgasm" if your spouse/partner can not stimulate you intellectually. Or pick up the slacks once in a while
And you say a beautiful man is a sissy? Abeg go find and read, study and digest all the definitions of beautiful.

DollyParton1:

This is nothing about ratio, but basically about what is required. I do not want a man who is not as equally as caring as I am. Or whose compassion, kindness, empathy, or gentleness is below mine. I basically do not want an àśśhole as a partner or friend.
Lol... very few men find intelligent ladies endearing? Well, the world must be filled with lots of dumb men then. (Thank God, that's not the case).
A very smart man who is not a chauvinist will prefer an equally smart woman. Come On!!! How does one have a "mindgasm" if your spouse/partner can not stimulate you intellectually. Or pick up the slacks once in a while
And you say a beautiful man is a sissy? Abeg go find and read, study and digest all the definitions of beautiful.

lol a mindgasm is a female thing (if its even real) .. Smart man will prefer a smart feminine woman not a smart woman ... He should have these traits at the same level as you or even more than you but not less really, many men who embody these traits get shat upon by being friendzoned and being called nice guys , it doesn't work . If he however is a strong masculine man who still has the traits its okay , but a man who is just compassionate caring and gentle or has these traits more than being confident decisive etc isn't going to get far . (Unless he has money)
you sound like all these new age modernist people, are you perhaps a feminist ? if you are we will probably never agree .its almost like you denying the existence of masculine traits and feminine traits ... I have never in my life hear a guy say he is attracted to a girl because she .makes him feel safe , neither have I seen a girl say she is attracted to a guy solely because he is indecisive or shy , unless he is very fine(very fine people get a lot if leeway) they'll at best say he is cute or adorable

TheMyth:

lol a mindgasm is a female thing (if its even real) .. Smart man will prefer a smart feminine woman not a smart woman ... He should have these traits at the same level as you or even more than you but not less really, many men who embody these traits get shat upon by being friendzoned and being called nice guys , it doesn't work . If he however is a strong masculine man who still has the traits its okay , but a man who is just compassionate caring and gentle or has these traits more than being confident decisive etc isn't going to get far . (Unless he has money)
you sound like all these new age modernist people, are you perhaps a feminist ? if you are we will probably never agree .its almost like you denying the existence of masculine traits and feminine traits ... I have never in my life hear a guy say he is attracted to a girl because she .makes him feel safe , neither have I seen a girl say she is attracted to a guy solely because he is indecisive or shy , unless he is very fine(very fine people get a lot if leeway) they'll at best say he is cute or adorable

Now you are gradually doing a turn around. Twisting some of your words and mine words too.

I said being kindhearted, compassionate, empathetic, gentle, caring, etc is required if everyone. It shouldn't be term as a feminist trait. A man should have it, having those traits doesn't make him shy, indecisive or lazy. It just makes him a good person.

The fact that you are all caring, kindhearted, compassionate and all doesn't make you indecisive and shy. It's all about balancing it. Knowing what traits to exhibit at a particular time and situation and in the right proportion is the key word.
A smart woman is a smart woman. Being decisive and confident should equally be for both gender. We weren't born married. A woman should be confident and be able to make decisions on her own as a single lady first of all, before getting married.


Don't mix things up. Character is different from gender role.

DollyParton1:


Now you are gradually doing a turn around. Twisting some of your words and mine words too.

I said being kindhearted, compassionate, empathetic, gentle, caring, etc is required if everyone. It shouldn't be term as a feminist trait. A man should have it, having those traits doesn't make him shy, indecisive or lazy. It just makes him a good person.

The fact that you are all caring, kindhearted, compassionate and all doesn't make you indecisive and shy. It's all about balancing it. Knowing what traits to exhibit at a particular time and situation and in the right proportion is the key word.
A smart woman is a smart woman. Being decisive and confident should equally be for both gender. We weren't born married. A woman should be confident and be able to make decisions on her own as a single lady first of all, before getting married.


Don't mix things up. Character is different from gender role.

I don't understand why people think characteristics such as care, compassion, empathy, humility, kindheartedness, tolerance etc. are 'feminine' virtues. I am equally amazed when I read/hear such from professed Christians....

What ever happened to fruits of the Holy Spirit all Christians should emulate?

DollyParton1:


Now you are gradually doing a turn around. Twisting some of your words and mine words too.

I said being kindhearted, compassionate, empathetic, gentle, caring, etc is required if everyone. It shouldn't be term as a feminist trait. A man should have it, having those traits doesn't make him shy, indecisive or lazy. It just makes him a good person.

The fact that you are all caring, kindhearted, compassionate and all doesn't make you indecisive and shy. It's all about balancing it. Knowing what traits to exhibit at a particular time and situation and in the right proportion is the key word.
A smart woman is a smart woman. Being decisive and confident should equally be for both gender. We weren't born married. A woman should be confident and be able to make decisions on her own as a single lady first of all, before getting married.


Don't mix things up. Character is different from gender role.

o

The fact that you are all caring, kindhearted, compassionate and all doesn't make you indecisive and shy. It's all about balancing it. Knowing what traits to exhibit at a particular time and situation and in the right proportion is the key word .... As ive been saying ratio . I never said a woman can't be Independent , nor did I say it is bad , I'm saying it isn't an attractive feature , the only feature attractive to a man are feminine features . Imagine a lady parking her range rover then walking out and now imagine this same lady walking without her car nearby , chances are if she is elegant or fine guys would all just point that out without mentioning the range , at most the range will discourage guys from even approaching , now imagine the reverse a guy with a range vs the same guy without it , the difference is clear ... does this mean a woman shouldn't buy a range , of course she can but she shouldn't expect it to make her attractive the same way it would make a male attractive .

TheMyth:

The fact that you are all caring, kindhearted, compassionate and all doesn't make you indecisive and shy. It's all about balancing it. Knowing what traits to exhibit at a particular time and situation and in the right proportion is the key word ....

And I am telling you those are not the feminine features. Those are the humanity features.
You don't know what feminine features are. You need to understand what that is first of all .

As ive been saying ratio . I never said a woman can't be Independent , nor did I say it is bad , I'm saying it isn't an attractive feature , the only feature attractive to a man are feminine features . Imagine a lady parking her range rover then walking out and now imagine this same lady walking without her car nearby , chances are if she is elegant or fine guys would all just point that out without mentioning the range , at most the range will discourage guys from even approaching , now imagine the reverse a guy with a range vs the same guy without it , the difference is clear ... does this mean a woman shouldn't buy a range , of course she can but she shouldn't expect it to make her attractive the same way it would make a male attractive .

Lol... say for yourself please. That you don't find a woman in a range rover attractive.

That the fact that she doesn't have to depend on you financially and intellectually scares you. That you want a slave you can control and not a wife.

A woman driving a range rover she bought with her money (not an aristo or runs girl) means she is hard working. A lady with purpose. With a career. Successful. Probably smart. Intelligent. Trail blazer.

How can a range rover make a man more attractive and make a woman less attractive (or not attractive)?

Are you saying shame on her for daring to be successful on her own? Or shame on her for being a boss in her own right. Or shame on her for having a dream and pursuing a purpose. Or shame on her for being successful.

Hian!!! How can you say a successful and hardworking woman is not attractive. Chai!!! Women have suuferred.

bukatyne:


I don't understand why people think characteristics such as care, compassion, empathy, humility, kindheartedness, tolerance etc. are 'feminine' virtues. I am equally amazed when I read/hear such from professed Christians....

What ever happened to fruits of the Holy Spirit all Christians should emulate?

As in!!! Some people, the only thing they know about the Bible and Christian life is the " wife's submission and husband' s leadership part"

I don't understand how someone would call those feminine traits.

DollyParton1:


And I am telling you those are not the feminine features. Those are the humanity features.
You don't know what feminine features are. You need to understand what that is first of all .




Lol... say for yourself please. That you don't find a woman in a range rover attractive.

That the fact that she doesn't have to depend on you financially and intellectually scares you. That you want a slave you can control and not a wife.

A woman driving a range rover she bought with her money (not an aristo or runs girl) means she is hard working. A lady with purpose. With a career. Successful. Probably smart. Intelligent. Trail blazer.

How can a range rover make a man more attractive and make a woman less attractive (or not attractive)?

Are you saying shame on her for daring to be successful on her own? Or shame on her for being a boss in her own right. Or shame on her for having a dream and pursuing a purpose. Or shame on her for being successful.

Hian!!! How can you say a successful and hardworking woman is not attractive. Chai!!! Women have suuferred.

For starters
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Femininity

Now where or when did I say I am not attracted to a girl that drives a range or all the other drivel , this is why people don't take feminism seriously and op feminism could be a good reason since maids are not feminists. I mean imagine being married to this feminist who spews shit like this and calls it intellectually engaging . I specifically said guys don't care if she owns a range or not if they find her attractive then they find her attractive , the range doesn't change this . At most they will be scared to approach but. that doesn't change the fact they are still attracted . Likewise if an ugly woman drives a range no guy is going to be attracted to her , none at all. if. an ugly man drives a range he picks up babes that could put the average fine boy to shame even if this said man is twice the fine boys age , godforbid the owner of the range is equally a fineboy . and its not even a matter of gold digging every girl would rather be with a rich guy than a broke guy be it sluts or church girls the reverse isn't the case . Now where did I say women shouldn't be independent ? be independent for yourself but don't expect it to earn you any points , its either a guy is attracted to your feminine side or he isn't ... no MSc , PhD or oil job is going to change that.(gold digging however is a totally different story but even then there are far more females in it than there are men because the average man wouldn't want. to marry his meal ticket whereas the average female has no issue with it)

bukatyne:


I don't understand why people think characteristics such as care, compassion, empathy, humility, kindheartedness, tolerance etc. are 'feminine' virtues. I am equally amazed when I read/hear such from professed Christians....

What ever happened to fruits of the Holy Spirit all Christians should emulate?

.
Feminine virtues are not restricted to females , but are mainly dominated by females. the average female should have these traits to a higher degree than the average man . This doesn't mean that the man doesn't have said traits .

TheMyth:
.
Feminine virtues are not restricted to females , but are mainly dominated by females. the average female should have these traits to a higher degree than the average man . This doesn't mean that the man doesn't have said traits .

The average female should have these traits than the average male?

Sir, are you a Christian?

TheMyth:

For starters
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Femininity

Now where or when did I say I am not attracted to a girl that drives a range or all the other drivel , this is why people don't take feminism seriously and op feminism could be a good reason since maids are not feminists

I mean imagine being married to this feminist who spews shit like this and calls it intellectually engaging . [s]I specifically said guys don't care if she owns a range or not if they find her attractive then they find her attractive , the range doesn't change this . At most they will be scared to approach but. that doesn't change the fact they are still attracted . Likewise if an ugly woman drives a range no guy is going to be attracted to her , none at all. if. an ugly man drives a range he picks up babes that could put the average fine boy to shame even if this said man is twice the fine boys age , godforbid the owner of the range is equally a fineboy . and its not even a matter of gold digging every girl would rather be with a rich guy than a broke guy be it sluts or church girls the reverse isn't the case . Now where did I say women shouldn't be independent ? be independent for yourself but don't expect it to earn you any points , its either a guy is attracted to your feminine side or he isn't ... no MSc , PhD or oil job is going to change that.(gold digging however is a totally different story but even then there are far more females in it than there are men because the average man wouldn't want. to marry his meal ticket whereas the average female has no issue with it)[/s]

Don't insult me please. I have tried to be civil with you all along. I really tried.

bukatyne:


The average female should have these traits than the average male?

Sir, are you a Christian?

What does this have to do with religion , the average female is more emotional hence she has a higher propensity to feel compassion and sympathy compared to the average male , the average female would shiver at the though of killing a chicken or ram and would squirm at the sight of excessive blood , there are males like this too but much fewer , the average female will give birth and will become primary nurturer of a child this alone would make her softer and more kind hearted than the average man , sure there are evil witches but 80-90% of all crimes are still committed by men,and this still doesn't men can't ha e these traits too .

DollyParton1:

Don't insult me please. I have tried to be civil with you all along. I really tried.

That the fact that she doesn't have to depend on you financially and intellectually scares you. That you want a slave you can control and not a wife.

How the hell is pure shaming language civil

Just gonna pretend I did not see some stuffs.

TheMyth:

What does this have to do with religion , the average female is more emotional hence she has a higher propensity to feel compassion and sympathy compared to the average male, the average female would shiver at the though of killing a chicken or ram and would squirm at the sight of excessive blood , there are males like this too but much fewer , the average female will give birth and will become primary nurturer of a child this alone would make her softer and more kind hearted than the average man , sure there are evil witches but 80-90% of all crimes are still committed by men,and this still doesn't men can't ha e these traits too .

I hear you.

LizGray:
True talk. It shames me when I hear our ladies boast of how horrible they are in the kitchen.

lol...what do u want them to do,some guys dont really care if their wives dont really know how to cook. its just that we nigerians can be too cultural at times and sees a woman that doesn't know how to cook as being useless. i have seen a couple that d husband jokes about his wife's bad cooking in public and they laugh over it. he is not really bothered about his wife inability to cook and though he cooks sometimes and eats out it hasn't really broken their marriage,they are still going strong. a woman's ability or inability to cook is sometimes overrated. wives that knows how to cook good delicacies for their husband and still the husband still cheats on them. food might be d way to a man's heart but still not enough to keep him. so if men are getting married to the maids that can cook,there are others that will marry the daughters that can't. just saying my own opinion tho.

SWITANN:












lol...what do u want them to do,some guys dont really care if their wives dont really know how to cook. its just that we nigerians can be too cultural at times and sees a woman that doesn't know how to cook as being useless. i have seen a couple that d husband jokes about his wife's bad cooking in public and they laugh over it. he is not really bothered about his wife inability to cook and though he cooks sometimes and eats out it hasn't really broken their marriage,they are still going strong. a woman's ability or inability to cook is sometimes overrated. wives that knows how to cook good delicacies for their husband and still the husband still cheats on them. food might be d way to a man's heart but still not enough to keep him. so if men are getting married to the maids that can cook,there are others that will marry the daughters that can't. just saying my own opinion tho.

Well, cooking isnt a way of ascertaining if a woman will be a good wife or not. I think even though you dont know how to cook, you should learn and a woman should at least know how to cook certain dishes.