James was waiting patiently outside the Holy Ghost Ministres as usually waiting for her,the object of his desire.He has dreamed of this day for a long time,he has rehearsed what he was going to say to her over and over again but he was sweating like a Christmas goat as she approached her favourite okada driver.
She flashed him an intoxicating smile as she greeted in the name of Jesus,have you being waiting a long time?No James lied,he was not about spoiling his chance with nonesense about waiting in the baking sun for 2hrs.

Esther,sang all the way as James snaked his way through Lagos traffic,his heart was beating faster as he approached her residence.Finally they got to her two bed flat in Surulere,she got down,thanked and paid him his fare and even gave him tracts inviting him to a miracle filled night in a couple of weeks.

As she turned to leave,James got the courage to call her back,Sister Esther can I talk to you please?Esther turned to face a scared James,what is it she asked,Sister Esther I have being fasting and praying to God about a problem in my life,all the prayer warriors have also prayed with me and I know that God has answered my prayers.Esther jumped for joy,thank God,Jesus is Lord,Holy Ghost thank you.James replied amen amen.

Sister,I having praying for a wife and last night God answered through Bro Nkemkelly,last night during prayers he prophesied you are the wife God has promised me.Esther stopped,wha, what, wetin I dey hear so.

I reject it in Jesus name,which kain prophesy be that,ye ppa yee proo pero je uu nab she was speaking in tongues,I say i reject am.tufiakwa.shioo James them send you?who tell you say bro nkemkelly dey filled with the spirit.kai Esther don suffer,sha bicos i go singles night,you come dey pray and fast abi,James could not believe his eyes and ears he has never heard her speak pidgin english!,but, but.But what?shut up tell your holy spirit say una no see me.me esther marry okada man?its a lie its a lie,, to be continued

mrmayor:

Nkemkelly,

Please imagine this scene.

James was waiting patiently outside the Holy Ghost Ministres as usually waiting for her,the object of his desire.He has dreamed of this day for a long time,he has rehearsed what he was going to say to her over and over again but he was sweating like a Christmas goat as she approached her favourite okada driver.
She flashed him an intoxicating smile as she greeted in the name of Jesus,have you being waiting a long time?No James lied,he was not about spoiling his chance with nonesense about waiting in the baking sun for 2hrs.

Esther,sang all the way as James snaked his way through Lagos traffic,his heart was beating faster as he approached her residence.Finally they got to her two bed flat in Surulere,she got down,thanked and paid him his fare and even gave him tracts inviting him to a miracle filled night in a couple of weeks.

As she turned to leave,James got the courage to call her back,Sister Esther can I talk to you please?Esther turned to face a scared James,what is it she asked,Sister Esther I have being fasting and praying to God about a problem in my life,all the prayer warriors have also prayed with me and I know that God has answered my prayers.Esther jumped for joy,thank God,Jesus is Lord,Holy Ghost thank you.James replied amen amen.

Sister,I having praying for a wife and last night God answered through Bro Nkemkelly,last night during prayers he prophesied you are the wife God has promised me.Esther stopped,wha, what, wetin I dey hear so.

I reject it in Jesus name,which kain prophesy be that,ye ppa yee proo pero je uu nab she was speaking in tongues,I say i reject am.tufiakwa.shioo James them send you?who tell you say bro nkemkelly dey filled with the spirit.kai Esther don suffer,sha bicos i go singles night,you come dey pray and fast abi,James could not believe his eyes and ears he has never heard her speak pidgin english!,but, but.But what?shut up tell your holy spirit say una no see me.me esther marry okada man?its a lie its a lie,, to be continued

Okada Man!!!
Abeg shoe get size!

I say its a lie,wonders shall never cease,there is nothing that I would not hear in this Lagos.James was totally caught off guard,he had no reply to Esther what could he say!As Esther raged, on a small crowd gathered wondering what was going on,a neighbour asked Sis Esther wetin dey happen?This okada man want cheat you?my brother can you imagine this yawa Okada man say holy spirit reveal me as his wife!Laughter filled the air,na wa o bros you want chop better thing!,you no know say sis esther be former miss unilag?even me sef as a shon of the shoil and a landlord I never fit shine her kongo

James totally embarrassed tried kicking his bike back to life but failed,the crowd were now jeering at James,he pushed his bike away with tears in his eyes wishing the ground would open up and swallow him.Esther followed him behind raining curses on him,James abi na johnbull you no go die better,holy ghost fire destroy you and your false prophet.ye pra pra hu kak kaye mama.I prophesies I Esther would marry Otumba Seun the love of my life and i reject any okada or driver in jesus name,

Amen!! _{sorry o James abi na johnbull}

mr mayor,
verry funny one there

THIS IS REALLY FUNNY

Ha ha ha ha! This is really funny! Say, mrmayor, did you write that yourself? If you did, then i must admit that you are good. Do you write for a living?

@ mr mayor, so abeg, how did the story end?

lots of guys out there but few men!

@whitelady,
I wrote the story myself and am no writer,infact this acually my first story of any sort,am just playing around with thoughts I get from Nigerian movies.

Na waooooooh

Where are the wife materials?

Most girls nowadays are double dating, they are not committed to a single guy.

As Esther walked back to her flat her anger now developed to a fiery rage,she could see Iya Sikira the local  gossip and who spits news like a semi automatic,kai I don die today,the whole of Lagos would hear about her God sent suitor.My sister Esther,wetin i dey hear so,okada man dey chase for lagush in her stupid ajegunle accent,this Okada men who can't boast of a shower a day,that stupid James who is not qualified to date my housegirl is toasting you?nah wah o,by the way what did you tell him.

As Esther walked pass her,Sikira pulled her back,but wait o.Esther you say Otumba Seun is the love of your life but the man has two wives,the bible says what God has put together let no woman put asunder.Esther replied in a fiery voice she didn't know she had,look Iya Sikira, Otumba Seun did not marry in the church so as far as God is concerned he is single and I love him and there is nothing you can do about it because the holy spirit has revealed him to me as the father of my children and husband.Sikira yelled at the top of voice Mama Bisi,Iya Ramutu make una come hear o,this woman want snatch una husband o.

Iya Sikira didn't know what hit her as Esther grabbed her and gave her a Zidane headbutt right in the middle of her big kpomo lips,her fell to the ground clutching her mouth,Esther fell on her gave a few upper cuts and elbows before Sikira could react being the bigger of the two,Sikira turned her and returned the favour in double measure.As usual the crowd were loving it, edging them on,everyone watching free roforofo fight.In no time Mama Bisi and Iya Ramutu arrived to join the fight.They gave Esther former Miss Unilag the beating of her life.

Days later as she lay in hospital she ran the events of last sunday through her mind over and over again,how did it come to this?Esther striped naked in the streets of Lagos because of one stupid Okada man,chei Esther don suffer.The only thing she can do now is to teach that James a lesson and take her revenge on those big fat women.Her eyes caught a getwell card,beautifully handmade,she opened it,she was speechless.It read.

My Dearest Esther,

You began as a fantasy that I had hoped would come true, but always thought would be just out of my reach. My heart knew you from the beginning of time, it seemed
There was an unmistakable fire that burned within me each time you and I were near to each other. No space or distance can change the thumping in my chest every time I see you.
You may never truly understand or know how much I care, but if you’ll just remember these few words, then you will always know that deep in my heart ~
Forgive me for the trouble I caused you,am truly sorry.Please get well soon and God bless you.

Her heart was thumping,whats this?this is the kindest word anybody has ever said to me.Jesus am no teenager to be swayed by love letters,I must teach that James a lesson.

more ! more! pls more!

So funny! Hahahaha I love this.

MrMayor,

I was going to comment on this, but I was laughing too loud to come up with anything sensible!

The story is quite nice and funny. I don't blame Esther in the story, no woman will dream of getting married to an ocada man. The girl's got to do what she has to do. It all about future.

OK.
i want more right NOW!!!! yes its a command.

I love this.

Thanks guys for the compliment,my story about everyday people;their pains,joy,hopes and aspirations.I don't think that real life stories have fairy tale endings where they all live happily ever after but I'll try to give a fair ending.Writing is no easy feat,to develop the characters,dialogue and keeping it real to the setting of the is not easy.Please ignore if I don't observe all ethics of writing,am just having fun here.

Thanks again.

Post the remaining story. Biko!!!

Hehe, if your story is that funny, I'll read it soon. Please, don't feel constrained to make the ending good.

She fell asleep reading James's card over ten times,though she was angry with him his kind words brought a smile to her face.Esther has always being a sucker for romance,how or where did he learn to write like that?woman stop your nonesense you are not falling for that cheap card are you she told herself.
When she woke up she saw her mother holding a solemn vigil by her side,her mum Mama Tata as she is fondly called looked up a smile,my dear you don wake?how bodi?I hear say you want snatch another woman husband?na so I take raise up?see where your big eye don land you?She fired in rapid succession.

Esther         Mama na wetin?,Please I have a headache,which kin wahala be this sef?
Mama Tata  Come Eshtaa na me you dey shout?
Esther         Mama i don tell you say my name na Esther no be eshtaa.
Mama Tata   okay,make you come beat me,na me dey for huspital so?
Esther         mama if you want know wetin happen make u ask gently,i go tell you.
Mama Tata  okay okay make u talk.

Mother and daughter  never really got along,neither did she get along with her siblings,she only got along with her father sadly he's deadwhen she was 19.Her dad was the only one who understood her,they would talk about this and that like two girlfriends she is was sure her mother was jealous of her relationship with her dad,come to think of it maybe thats why she is attracted to older men,is she looking for a father figure in her life.
Mama cleared her throat to bring her back from where ever she was.

Esther narrated her ordeal to her mother who listened carefully,pick up the card and had a good look,Eshtaa,make u no vex o this okada man no man him be?how you know say God no reveal you to am?make una see me see trouble o,me Esther former miss Unilag with Okada man?my friend shut up Mama replied.persin no go hear word miss unilag,miss unilondonl,Eshtaa you don old!.you be 37yrs old,if to say you marry when Ken say him wan marry you,your pikin for do join Molpol by now pimple full your face,you still dey make yanga.wetin you for do be to pray with James see wetin God go talk.Mama I no believe in false prophesy,my fren make you shut your mouth before i slap okra seed commot for your mouth.

Both women were entrench in their positions,as usual they agreed to disagree.Esther was discharge the following day,how was she going to face her friends,a senior girl disgraced in Lagos?She would move to Abuja or PH,but first her has to get her revenge on those fat bitches,she would deal with James later.

As she turned the key to her flat,she heard a male voice behind her.It was Pa Jimoh her nieghbour,Auntie Esther he call her,Pa Jimoh how you dey?My daughter I dey fine,welcome home make u no let anybody give you yawa,you go get ur own man,i know say God go do am for you.Amio o she answered,my sister one man drop this flower and card for you this morning,handing her a bouquet of white and yellow lilies.
Pa Jimoh who be that,him no come down from him Landcruiser,na him driver bring am.She thank him and walk into her flat with her mother in tow.

She opened the card that came with flowers, and it read.

Dearest Esther,

When I saw this card I though immediately of you, as it portrays almost exactly my mood yesterday afternoon.It seemed to leap out at me from the shelves,I stood in the shop thinking of how best to tell you how much I love and Cherish you.I have never felt like this before about any woman.
The first thing I noticed besides your obvious natural assets was the sparkle of fire in your eyes. It was dim like dying embers, but there none the less. I don't think you could have hidden it if you wanted to because I know now that there is always a bit of fire burning in you
I remember listening to you as we got acquainted, sitting on the bench in church telling about the goodness of the lord,the sound of your voice took my breath away,your smile so sensual.I'm not sure what I expected in person since we had only talked in church.
Do you wonder why I am writing this letter to you? I am wondering that myself. Maybe it is because you have came into my life without knowing it,May be I need to write this for my own sanity,to express what am thinking and what am feeling.
These past few days I have thought of you continuously, and though I have tried to put you out of my mind,but I have failed miserabely,I can't stop my dear Esther.I can't stop loving you.
How  I long to be with someone as much as I long to be with you? How can I go to sleep each night and awake each morning imagining the feel, the taste, the smell of you? How can you arouse such passions in me when I have not touched you or kissed you or been inside of you but once in all the time I have known you.Esther you have great legs and body
I guess I should be angry with you, but I am not. I should never have started this letter; it only arouses me and makes me desire you more. I am so hard,I never should have written all these words to you. I should just let it die. Forget about it. Put it out of my mind. But how can I?

Esther stopped,butterflies were swanming around in her stomach,I can'y read any more.Who the hell is James?it just doesn't make any sense.

James was a 32yr old former army Sergent,he left the army 6years ago after his father died.Everything they had were taken away from them by his father's relations after accusing his mother of being responsible for their fathers death.With his discharge payment he started an okada rental business,where he was able to send all his sibling to the University even though he didn't attend university himself.
His business has grown considerably over the years into over 30 okadas and 10 danfo buses,he met Esther on the day he sacked one of his riders,Esther obviously thought he was an okada driver and he didn't do anything to change her view of him.He remained James the Okada driver in the eyes of Esther

awww, that was an amazing story! its awesome, thanks mr mayor

Awwwwww this is such a funny, enticing, romatic, realistic story. Its got the promise of a very good story.

Mrmayor, plssssss give them a happy ending. PLEASE!!! They deserve 1 together.

I'm a sucker for ur story man.Fire on

such a sad ending @ mayor like @ toy said please give them a happy ending am also a sucker for a good love story .Big ups to you though that was awesome!

Esther moved out her Surulere flat to a new one in nearby Yaba,she refused to take James's calls but kept all his cards and letters which brought a lot of comfort and joy to her,she was intrigued to find out that James was a rather successful business man and was five years younger than her,though he was tall,handsome and she might even like him,she wasn't about changing her attitude to wards him,no need to get the title of a gold digger,James should look for a younger woman,after all lekpa shandy are all over the place.
She set her mind in rebuilding her life amid the humiliation she had suffered,at least she got her revenge on the Sikira and her friends.She had no problem getting some tough talking Alaye boys being a lawyer to teach those fat bitches a lesson.Iya Sikira,Iya Ramutu and Mama Bisi where all captured on their way back from the numerous late night parties they attended in Lagos.
The stupid bitches were stripped naked and dumped right in front of the local market where they were well know on a hot Saturday afternoon,tabloid journalists were conveniently on location that fatefull day,needless to say it made a few headlines it was the talk of Surulere for weeks.Sikira was the worst hit by the incident,she was indoors for days,all the small boys in the area have seen her kongo with plenty bia bia.

Months passed without any hearing from James,She must admit she was a little angry,his love notes made her feel younger again and she loved it but she can't date a younger man successful or not.All that change when Esther and her mother met her at Balogun market.Patricia was her name,she was Mama Tata's bosom friend while they were living in Kano but have lost contact with each other when they fled one of the numerous religious riots common in Nigeria.Mama Tata na your face I dey see so?Patty na you be that,the two women hugged and cried checking each other out,asking so many questions at the same time.
Patricia turned and look in the direction of Esther,Essy is that you?Essy being the pet name her dad called her when he was alive,before she could answer Pat hugged so tight Esther almost screamed,she looked her all over I talk am say go be fine woman,God no wetin him do,wey him no let you die after that accident,how your husband and children?my sister abeg  make u leff Eshtaa alone,she no gree marry.haba Essy fine woman like you no suppose find husband?man suppose come beg you say make u marry am.Esther just walk away from both friends,got into her car and left for home.She got into her bedroom locked the door a had a good cry.

When she woke up Patty was in her flat talking at the to of her voice with her mother,she looked at the time it was almost 11pm,as she got into the living room Patty greeted her Essy abeg make u no vex,i just happy to see you and your mama,she replied auntie I no dey vex,I just get headache,you don chop?Essy i don chop,i say make i relax talk with your mama,for morning my pikin JayJay go come carry me.shay you remember JayJay her mother asked?yes mama i remember him Esther lied,all she knew about JayJay Auntie Patty son is that he donated blood after her accident,she could have died because she was AB negative genotype and JayJay was one scruffy looking 12year boy who save her life.Esther sat with the two friends as Patty told them about all that has happend to her and how JayJay used his discharge money from the army to start a business and taking care of his family.There was pain in her voice as she told them all about her son's women problems,he has never being lucky with women the last one nearly killed him.

Patty told them about a woman who JayJay believed God has shown her but the woman is refusing to give him a chance but I am praying for my son even if the woman is the queen of Sheba if God say my pikin go marry am na so e go be.Esther felt sorry for JayJay,lots of unlucky people in Lagos when it comes to relationships.
The next morning after breakfast after breakfast a Landcruiser pulled up in front of her house,a man step out,walked upstairs pressed the bell,a female voice answered make you wait i dey come,Mama Tata open the the door and welcomed James aka JayJay into her flat with a big smile,the man who saved her daughter from certain death.Esther walked into her living and screamed,you this man I wetin you dey do here,I say i no want see you,i no take your call,i don change house you still dey follow me?Mama Tata,Autie Patty and James were all shock at the outbust,Essy wetin my pikin do you?you no remember JayJay?
Esther Fainted.

[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font][color=#000099][/color]Big up to you Mrmayor and you will mos def make it as a script writer.Just keep doing ur thing. If this is original,then you deserve some dough for this.Just in case someone from Nollywood faps ur story,holla@me and the millions will roll in.

sure say dis thing no kuku happen to u?

kellorah:

sure say this thing no kuku happen to u?

It didn't happen to me,I started the story as a joke about how Nigerian women rate men by the kind of jobs,cars and houses they own but when you ask them what type of man they want they would tell you about the man who has the fear of God,romantic,faithful etc all the good stuff but what they want is actually a ready made man with the house and all the comfort you can imagine.
The  age difference is actually my fantasy,I have always found older women more attractive than younger women thats just me.

I doubt if I'll make a good script writer,this writing thing hard no be small. I still struggling how to end the story.

abeg let it roll * salivating* how this story go end ooooooooooooooo