Ayadeji:
Salam alaykum brothers and sisters in islam. All protocols duly observed.

I know Islamically it is allowed for a man to marry up to 4 wives. But if as a wife, you feel you feel you cannot cope in such circumstances, (as resentment towards your spouse or jealousy towards the new wife may make you become sinful) is it permissible to opt out of such marriage?

Pls kindly answer with proofs. Thank you.

Divorce though permitted is not something Allah loves and encourage as the holy book has it. So, I urge you to really think about it before you reach your final resolution. Make sure you are doing this because you have no other choice and do well to consult with people you know are of better experience and sound judgement before you take the step. May Allah guide you.

Queenakande:
Amen Jazakumullahu khairan

Wa anta fajazakillahu khairan

There are not yes or no questions. You hold not right to tell me that no explanation are needed. Intention is everything



Better to be jealous blind than stu.pid blind...I am still looking for the jealousy in my reply...God help me


Can we stop assuming for God? Can you stop inventing biases to justify a choice? Show me the chat you and God had or stop self serving righteousness.


You are not a true believer if you enjoyed being a hypocrite. Can you swear to God you have always kept true to the Hadith? Still you don't have any RIGHT to judge anyone. Until you can prove that it is a sin, you need to stop acting santimonious...I can't deal. If you want to be charitable, there are so many orphanage in need of volunteers, so many children who wish for a stable home, so many fathers who want enough to feed their family....Don't force it man, you don't have any argument. There are many women who do not mind polygamy, there are many who do. It is not a must to force on those who mind. Why don't you be a good Muslim and stop forcing it?-:\


Maybe....just maybe if you paid more attention, you would realise that the gender population argument is nonsense. It doesn't hold true at all.

phemmyflexxy:
They are yes or no question, no explanation needed....
How would u balance the gender populations for marriage....?
Would you prefer your sisters and daughter to be public properties to being 2nd, 3rd or forth wives?
"You are not true believers until you want for your fellow brothers what you want for yourself"...
You see why I doubt your belief?
Don't jealousy blind you my dear sister....

STFU

Praktikals:

We will not take it. My goons will come for you soon

daretodiffer:
Better to be jealous blind than stu.pid blind...By the way jealousy is not gender specific.

Can we stop assuming for God? Can you stop inventing biases to justify a choice? Show me the chat you and God had or stop self serving righteousness.

You are not a true believer if you enjoyed being a hypocrite. Can you swear to God you have always kept true to the Hadith? Still you don't have any RIGHT to judge anyone. Until you can prove that it is a sin, you need to stop acting santimonious...I can't deal. If you want to be charitable, there are so many orphanage in need of volunteers, so many children who wish for a stable home, so many fathers who want enough to feed their family....Don't force it man, you don't have any argument.

Maybe....just maybe if you paid more attention, you would realise that the gender population argument is nonsense. It doesn't hold true at all.

Lol. Chill. Polygamy will still go on no matter how fiercely you decry it. Pls stop d noise young woman

Frolic:
[s] Divorce though permitted is not something Allah loves and encourage as the holy book has it.[/s] So, I urge you to really think about it before you reach your final resolution. Make sure you are doing this because you have no other choice and do well to consult with people you know are of better experience and sound judgement before you take the step. May Allah guide you.

There is no proof Allaah hates divorce, the hadeeth you relied on is not reliable..so that part I had to cancel out...

I am not against polygamy....You would know if you opened your eyes widely and read carefully instead of pressing the quote button without a second thought. I hope you are not considering marriage or even polygamy anytime soon.

Frolic:
Lol. Chill. Polygamy will still go on no matter how fiercely you decry it. Pls stop d noise young woman

daretodiffer:
STFU

are u abusing me for supporting the interest of my muslim sisters¿

Yes, keep your goons to yourself

Praktikals:

are u abusing me for supporting the interest of my muslim sisters¿

Sissie:


A man can be just. He won't be able to love them equally, however, he can be just. Many men are, I do not know about your society.
@bolded that's just hilarious and untrue.

I do not know your society but there is a problem with the general accession about the mothers hating polygamy, I have met women who like polygamy and prefer it, not everyone wants to play wife every day and others who don't mind it, however, there are those who hate it. the problem isn't with polygamy but the people in it. just the same way we have terrible abusive monogamous homes.

You said what did Allah promise them and answered nothing, there is reward in a well-done polygamy you know. Do you think a man who married
a divorced woman with kids as a second wife and takes the kids won't be rewarded? or a widow?

Please don't quote me. You are entitled to your delusion and lies.

Eno38151:


Say whatever ever you want away from this post, dont your fellow heathens have post that you can engage with them?, if you hate Muslims then leave this post na by force??

Just busy yarning poto-poto.... Your input is not appreciated, GO AWAY.

#MuslimPost, #MuslimTinz

You are not a Muslim, you are just an Islamist. I love Muslims.

Frolic:
Lol. Chill. Polygamy will still go on no matter how fiercely you decry it. Pls stop d noise young woman

It will go on as long as women keep listening to men instead of reading the quran.
Atleast we can read the quran ourselves now and we have seen how men have made their words the words of Allah.
And she cannot chill until our men start acting like father s.

AbdelKabir:
I hope this thread won't be over taken by some overzealous women again like it was in the past...because you never see them contributing in something intellectual and benefiting..... But by the time they see such threads as this, you see them as if they've just been released from their caves..

WAllaahul musta'aan

hahahahaha u are very funny. but what do you expect uhm? should a woman behave like man? woman's are known for jealousy except those who understand d Deen and fear Allah . but to say d truth is not easy.

tintingz:
Lol, what's divine in relationship?

People have been into relationship even before religion came. I will say harmony should be the first before family because without harmony there can't be family in the first place in the society.

A family can exist without marriage, marriage was design to make relationship look legal.

That's culture which is irrational, marriage, husband, wife does not make someone respectable, it is just fallacy, Oprah Winfrey is not married, she only has a boyfriend and she's respected round the world.
People can be married and not be respected, respect comes from your character not marriage, our lifes does not ends in marriage.

African and religious women have been programmed by patriarch dominant men to believe they can't be respected without a husband, it is now a syndrome to many African and religious ladies now, you will see them desperate to marry a man as if their life ends there.

However, to pick interest in few of your points that interest me and require clarifications.

Depending on your idiosyncrasy, whether from science, humanity or what have you, which to muslims are all subset of religion, because in Islam, religion isn't just about worship, it's an entirety, even minutest things you can think of is not left untaught, talk of healthcare, inventions, science, technology and what have you.

The world divine relationship I mentioned doesn't mean religion in totality, it is even more of common sense to an agnostic, unless you are an adherent of "freedom" for males to marry themselves or man and dog can cohabit as husband and wife or maybe you are saying God made an error by creating Adam and Eve as a pair and not Adam and Abraham as we are suppose to believe by "civilization.

Well, am African and proud of being one, you can afford to be European even though you might not naturally be one, it's a choice. As for Africans, it's an hallmark of respect whether you accept it or not, to the Europeans being whatever is their issue. Oprah respected round the world, okay, Oprah you are well respected, that I was told.

Marriage not being a culture in the west isn't a culture to westerners....whether inferiority or superiority complex, time will tell. Anything, African is cultural while any European hogwash is a norm and globally acceptable standard.

Alennsar:


hahahahaha u are very funny. but what do you expect uhm? should a woman behave like man? women are known for jealousy except those who understand d Deen and fear Allah . but to say d truth is not easy.

I agree, but the truth should always be said regardless of one's emotions. Pologyamy has its basis in Islam regardless what people feel about it. May Allah make it easy for us to say and accept the truth. Ameen

I don't think she said anything to warrant this, although I disagree with her tht most men are just.There are good polygamous homes and there are women who don't mind polygamy at all.

sarahade:

Please don't quote me. You are entitled to your delusion and lies.

Alennsar:


hahahahaha u are very funny. but what do you expect uhm? should a woman behave like man? woman's are known for jealousy except those who understand d Deen and fear Allah . but to say d truth is not easy.

Men's jealousy is worse. Put men in women's shoes and see how they would react.

And understanding the deen and fearing Allah doesn't mean one is above jealousy.
I don't think we have any woman nowadays with more understanding of the deen than Aisha and Fatimah and even they were jealous.

daretodiffer:

You enh...I know you detest polygamy but. ......



Are you daretodiffer with me?

HaneefahRN:



Men's jealousy is worse. Put men in women's shoes and see how they would react.

And understanding the deen and fearing Allah doesn't mean one is above jealousy.
I don't think we have any woman nowadays with more understanding of the deen than Aisha and Fatimah and even they were jealous.

I know but y I mention piety is because it's remind you of your maker and you need to admit dat all Allah's command cant be in our favour but we av to obey.

I don't hate polygamy. I hate it when you make up excuses for it and try all forms of blackmail to make a choice, mandatory.

Empiree:
You enh...I know you detest polygamy but. ......



Are you daretodiffer with me?

daretodiffer:
I don't hate polygamy. I hate it when you make up excuses for it and try all forms of blackmail to make a choice, mandatory.

I know. But there exist excuses from men side. It is up to woman to accept or reject it

uboma:



Wow. this is quite revealing. Some Muslim women are not aware of this.

Yea they don't, and there's no one to be blame for that. A Muslim woman has a right to knowledge...... she should make use of it

Alennsar:


I know but y I mention piety is because it's remind you of your maker and you need to admit dat all Allah's command cant be in our favour but we av to obey.

Sorry, do you know what command means?
Polygamy is not a command of Allah, it is a mere permission with it's associated 'weight', conditions.
People are making it sound like it's one of the pillars of Islam.

sarahade:

Thank you sister but how many women know this?
I'm not against any decision to marry more than 1 wife but they should stop tricking women to stay in the marriage and allow themselves to be emotional abused.
If a woman wants to stay in a polygamous relationship she can and if she doesn't want to she can as well leave

Ma'am, we will preach it to our sisters that are not aware.

poundlander:
@mr abdelkabir, you can always pass your point without preempting anyone sir.
also, you can't possibly know how a woman feel about polygamy since you are not a woman.
as a man, i will seek d permission and approval of my wife before engaging another woman.
a lady sited the case of Fatimah and Ali, but you responded that their case is different, how different is it? isn't Ali, a caliphah aware that the intended woman is/was a khafir, before even having the intention.
in conclusion, the sheikh you quoted only said his own position that HE is mot aware of any proof, that doesn't ruleout the possibility of one.
ma salam sir

Yes, u are right, the person that wears the shoe only knows where it pains.

@abdelkabir, no one has ever asked the OP how she is fairing in her husband's house to the extent of thinking of getting divorce, all you have to say was " it's better for her to stay", yes, cos the devil u know is better than the angel you have never seen, abi?
You say all these because you are a man, I bet you, u will do more than #Sarahade# if u were to be a woman.

I'm not sure u are into one or u have experience of living in a polygamous household, its not easy as you think, I'm telling you, some wives are still married 'just' hoping that one day their children will grow up to cater for them, because they are not being catered for. They eat what they see and not what they like.

Some of these "u can marry 4 wives" households are low income earners (managing types), how do u think the wife will feel if she is in this category of household? Be happy that she will continue her "let's manage this" with the husband?

You all talked about what Allah says about men marrying four wives, good, do they all know what they have to do in justifying their many wives?

No one want rivalry, especially when things are little difficult.

Wa Salam Aleikum.

transient123:


However, to pick interest in few of your points that interest me and require clarifications.

Depending on your idiosyncrasy, whether from science, humanity or what have you, which to muslims are all subset of religion, because in Islam, religion isn't just about worship, it's an entirety, even minutest things you can think of is not left untaught, talk of healthcare, inventions, science, technology and what have you.

The world divine relationship I mentioned doesn't mean religion in totality, it is even more of common sense to an agnostic, unless you are an adherent of "freedom" for males to marry themselves or man and dog can cohabit as husband and wife or maybe you are saying God made an error by creating Adam and Eve as a pair and not Adam and Abraham as we are suppose to believe by "civilization.

Not everyone believes in Adam and Eve story, relationship is relationship, it has been a practice before religion started.

Well, am African and proud of being one, you can afford to be European even though you might not naturally be one, it's a choice. As for Africans, it's an hallmark of respect whether you accept it or not, to the Europeans being whatever is their issue. Oprah respected round the world, okay, Oprah you are well respected, that I was told.

Because I'm African doesn't make me to accept every beliefs, culture so also other nation culture, I'm not a sheeple to just follow follow everything we are/were told in our society, many of what we practice as culture are out of ignorance, self interest etc.

If Oprah visit Nigeria today, do you think it will be a normal welcome to Nigeria/Nigerians? She will be well welcomed with respect, that's a woman not married o.

Marriage not being a culture in the west isn't a culture to westerners....whether inferiority or superiority complex, time will tell. Anything, African is cultural while any European hogwash is a norm and globally acceptable standard.

Europeans once had some cultures like Africa but they evolve in reasoning and eradicate some cultures to move forward, that's why they're developed today even china that cherish thier culture are evolving in reasoning but here in Africa I don't know if we're moving backward or forward.

HaneefahRN:


Sorry, do you know what command means?
Polygamy is not a command of Allah, it is a mere permission with it's associated 'weight', conditions.
People are making it sound like it's one of the pillars of Islam.

is it haram?