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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi (7429 Views)
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Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by Youngzubi(m): 3:26pm On Aug 13, 2018 |
welcome! welcome! welcome! Dont even bother to ask me why i jumped into another story without completing "Sex Na Food" do you understand! abeg wait lemme sip small from my green bottle "gumm! gumm! gumm! aaahhh!!"yo waya! "ok we can now continue "em! where did i even stop,no dont think for me because am not drunk yet,as i was saying,i couldnt wait to finish Sex Na Food before this one simply because i will forget,yea! it will format oh! wait let me quickly finish my drink before faji-k gets here biko i can't afford to share one green bottle with somebody,anybody or any person "gumgumgumgumgumgum!! aaaaaahh!!,now you'er talking,good(i shift the bottle to an empty space on the table) "good,so let me make myself more clear to you,just last week,this recent one that just passed i travelled to my village,a very small village located at enugu state in the eastern part of Nigeria,despite the body ache i encountered due to the,i was still saying when faji step inside the beer parlour Faji-k: Na who be this!!(he shouted rubbing his eyes,maybe to be sure of who he was seeing) Me:Faji-k!!!(i scream as i remembered my green bottle,with the thought of Faji-k doing me a shortage i grabbed the empty bottle and motioned to gulp down the whole content,that was when reality dawned on me,my initial act when i first saw faji walking towards the beer parlour hit me,thank gawd i finish it on time,i murmured) Faji-k: lagos man! see how fresh,and big you've grown,village nobi better place for any living creature o! M: says who?,you Faji-k do you even have a mirror at home,no dont make that face,how can you look so healthy and still be complaining of village life,forget o! people in the village eat more good and balanced diet then we the lagosians who consume 90% chemically preserved can food heeyyyy!!!!! na who be this??,wait o! veno! nobi aka-gum bi this,aja said pointing at me immediately he walked inside the local bar with three other friends,veno shut one eye as he circled his palm on the opened eye,he positioned himself like a photographer with kai-kai bottle on the other hand he began to view my face through the opening in his palm aaahh!! nahim!!,veno shouted baba o!! baba o!!,five of them shouted at me veno dropped his kai-kai bottle on the floor and ran toward my table,unknown to me he was actually coming for my green bottle faji-k on seeing what veno was up to he too dive forward with aim to grab my green bottle yeeeeeeee !!!!! both of them chorused,as they land on my table at the same time by so doing they hit their head together which left them screaming in pain chineekee so nah even bo-bo abi viju milk this lagos goat dey drink sef,faji-k said when they discovered that the green bottle on my table was actually bobo container Veno: so this your aka-gum of a thing never leave you eh! aka-gum mei hissed) aka-super glue, all nah green bottle,i bought the one my pocket could afford aja: thats a true talk after all bobo container green,but as a lagosian who left village for close to 12 years without annual return to his village,now that you finally came home do something for old time friends nah Faji-k: gbam! your speech carry wait jare veno: supported by me infact i donate this my kai-kai to be used for neutralizing the nku-ocha (palm wine) that aka-gum will buy for us Mei did a mental calculation of all the change remaing in my pocket,firstly i removed my transport back to lagos aside,before coming up with a change approximately 4,525 naira,wow i still be rich man) ok ok! where is mama ginika! Faji-k: bia wanyia where is you,biko run an be coming before this lagos slowpoke changes his mind,at least i will know that after eating his money now next i will be eating in his name nah the day dem go dey burial him,because am sure chief will cook rice to comperciate we the burial ground digger me: Faji-k you will die before me o!,see how your eye ball take enter him socket finish,ibu ozu dindu(you'er a living dead) what should i bring?,mama ginika requested,with a tray on her hand veno:firstly start by bringing one one plate of pepper soup each,am having a running stomach maybe the pepper soup will help me: ontop who's head veno!,running stomach and its pepper soup that will cure you? veno: when will your sense start functioning,what i mean is that worm don chop my intestine finish due to lack of food,so now i have the opportunity of putting something inside my mouth,let me start with something solid not liquid mama ginika: here is the pepper soup(she said handling them one plate each,totally seven plates,em! oga aka-gum which one should i get for you? me: (i hesitate a bit trying to assume the price of each plate) em! just get me tooth pick and pure water kuuhu!! kuuuhuu!! Faji-k cough to be continued 1 Like |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by OneStep3: 3:29pm On Aug 13, 2018 |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by Youngzubi(m): 3:46pm On Aug 13, 2018 |
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Dominic147 Kreme, kalajina welcome !! u are all invited 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by pradoic(m): 4:01pm On Aug 13, 2018 |
wow!! but u suppose to finish sex na food o!,i dont want this one to affect ur updates,this one is really entering my head like needle shaar continue baba! |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by okafor200(m): 4:05pm On Aug 13, 2018 |
Naso baba we need more updates o at least me i don find one vip chair sidon for front seat con dey shine teeth join |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by pgodson7(m): 4:05pm On Aug 13, 2018 |
even tho dem no call me come as a warri brought up wen dey neighbor window watch tv I go dey watch dis one from sentino window |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by okafor200(m): 4:10pm On Aug 13, 2018 |
pgodson7: come o u can still come join me for my table for 5 seats for front here, u know say as a baba olowo i am paying for 5 seats but ur ticket na only make u just dey shine teeth hahahahahhaaaaaa 1 Like |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by pradoic(m): 4:15pm On Aug 13, 2018 |
okafor200: taaaaa!! you no see my space ontop your head bia! okarfor mind your business o!! ask youngzubi i don already buy 80,000 seats and is only Damibiz i already released one to,so relax bro make we enjoy our guy youngzubi,that guy brain nah fire! |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by okafor200(m): 4:16pm On Aug 13, 2018 |
pradoic: come o pradioc abi wetin be ur name self make we go find broom and mob make we clean here well well before people go start to dey arrive dey sidon as a right hand man me i carry my broom from house come oya make we start to dey arrange chairs for people |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by Youngzubi(m): 5:14pm On Aug 13, 2018 |
Niwdog Olalake osnova dewalexify borie4u Harlaan007 and asemark Stellamariss |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by Damibiz(m): 5:51pm On Aug 13, 2018 |
Thanks man,any lady in the house who is without seat should contact me for more details.. pradoic: |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by Nobody: 5:55pm On Aug 13, 2018 |
Youngzubi:I dey ya side boss... Nothing do you |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by Nobody: 5:55pm On Aug 13, 2018 |
Youngzubi:I dey ya side boss... Nothing do you |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by wizsolzy(m): 6:06pm On Aug 13, 2018 |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by Niwdog(m): 6:19pm On Aug 13, 2018 |
Youngzubi:bros I just they gbadun your story I still they on page 17 |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by Youngzubi(m): 6:58pm On Aug 13, 2018 |
Two with seven plates of pepper soup scattered on the floor of the local beer parlour,three keg's of palm wine was seating comfortably on the table,table which was surrounded by 8 professional drunkards,though they all grew up together,went to thesame primary school but non of them can comfortably put food on their table,even at the age of 35 they still wander around the whole village looking for where there is an occasion for that is their only means of eating well cooked food most of them still live with their parents even as married men with children,their aged parents struggle to feed themselves and still cater for the basic needs of their grand children and daughter inlaw,all because they gave birth to "lazy youths" who prefer exhausting than hustling. they were still drinking their palm wine,when all of a sudden a lady walk passed the beer parlour,like a scene where an interesting drama is being displayed,they all fixed their gaze on the lady,due to the mode in which the local bar was built,all its four sides is open,roofed with palm pounds,such that anybody sitting inside the bar could clearly see a passer by,vise-viser, Faji-k : aja! look(he said pointing at the lady) Aja : eh! ( he answered with a glass cup filled with palm wine still fixed on his mouth,as he tried looking at the lady through the little space between his eyes and the glass cup) Faji-k : is that not chief azubuike's first daughter Veno : yes! yes!,you'er right she's the one Aka-gum : who is chief azubuike?(he asked no one in particular) Aja : chief azubuike nah,that man that treats mentally disable person m.d.p aka inDi ara! or you call it mad people(he said still holding his cup of palm wine firmly) Aka-gum : wait o!, you mean chief azubuike the one we normally sell lizard to veno : gbam! exactly,he is the one Faji-k : but dont even try to woo her,infact we the youths of this village have already set a very huge amount of money on her,that who ever successful woo and lay her will be rewarded with it Aka-gum : eh! Faji-k : yes nah Aka-gum : like how much if i may ask Faji-k : 50 taaaaawusan naira(50,000) Aka-gum : ehhhh!!!( he screamed with his eyes wide open in amazement) so you mean if i successfully woo and lay her,i will be rewarded with such huge amount of money Faju-k : ehn!,you ke,see dont even try it except you want to receive dirty unreturnable slap,hope you saw how she was walking alone,is not as if she can't afford to board a bike but even the bike man will be seen as a living legend if she agrees to enter his okada,all the okada people in this village will be ready to transport her free of charge only if she can give them a second look and maybe allow them carry her Aka-gum : say watin,is she a goddess? Faji-k : something greater than that sef veno: rapu onye'a( dont mind him) is when you witness it then you will understand our semon Aka-gum : see eh,i be lagos brought up o! Aja : taaa!! for where!,forget that rubbish talk o! aka-gum : should we bet? Aja : infact my own nah talk and do,if you'er truly a man lets bet seven seven thousand naira,if she can just pay you attention for just 14mins then you take my 7k,but if she didnt respond to your greeting after 2mins,you must have tried getting her attention then your 7k will be mine(he concluded as he drew down his trousers,from his under pant he brought out 7 thousand naira which he handed over to veno Aka-gum : ( he thought for a while,hmm! he nod and count seven thousand naira which he also handed over to veno) deal! he said looking at Aja Aja : dont waste time my friend start going! with that aka-gum adjusted his second hand clothe very well,then ran after the young lady,on seeing what was about to happen everybody inside the bar all ran outside to witness what was about to unfold even mama ginika left her shop an ran outside just to see how things would go as soon as aka-gum got close to the young lady he pursed to balance his breath,with his voice well tuned "hello! young lady,he said to be continued 1 Like |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by christheair(m): 7:36pm On Aug 13, 2018 |
Aka-gum go chop slap today |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by pradoic(m): 7:47pm On Aug 13, 2018 |
i here by call on @youngimporter ann2012 pradoic nasytnic purity247 pacifust058 Bigsarah ceecane2 Theloser germaphobe saraphina habundanz multikolour eazykolobo malaymoney odafiz Shlkhmuniru Decapo Neofingerz donroxyll sunrisemed07 Dayvdblake Revolva samkpanam Danchoco Therealev Biggybogo7 emperorblog senrino Abdulgafar86 Popoolataiwo sikells astute28 Dameldammie khd95 jozee8 Bemby69 Harlaan007 MrsEvakinqz Lenybee kingin55 Oliver Damibiz swiz123deniguy01 Timk122 tomgab tunjilomo 007Nonny olacarz Gspotlicker kelvinjeremiah dahvido hakeem4 brunxy tojahh chieheywhy Toyosih jixnation muminimutiyat Omokoladele Oscarnoble cooloustyne Estatesinlagos bonkoINC emazy10 Ebony07 zeezeegal KidoiLL badoxil bdauran Harrypolter13 Biggaboi speakout03 obakiaz ayamalexander77Runaway Yinks89 tomgab JOGICE johnsown7 rufdan emperordachris jeggychi paulek4eva stevodot22 ritababe Danyflamez honourable356 Holywizard fabianiweka pathneluti donaldphilipizu rowdymind wizsolzy Oscarnoble psybuk blazebaba iambees preciousbouy PopoolatTiawo momoh7 pgodson7 izaray jerryolumide Tobsonlove tpetos take your seat!! 2 Likes |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by pradoic(m): 7:54pm On Aug 13, 2018 |
: tijehi bqlekan front seat Solly1 benardj3 SparrowNet Pinkberry5 debbycreamy 2seventeen obumnaeke second roll pharuqchulker Rasmodox101 Danyflamez Niwdog dewalexify mjay05 Nawtiblayse vip section loveth360 maggilove Desertwolf007 , tutusaint whalesbanks Afz9095 Fortunate Evansjj illustrator , niyitaiwo07 wisestar , vip section chigbomkpam yemiosinbajo, ADECULATE fessy0001 SamuelTurner Holluwaphlexy pradoic, Danpersie31 mirej husmanbell i invite u all in the name of my boss youngzubi!!!!! welcome!! to u all |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by Nobody: 7:55pm On Aug 13, 2018 |
I'm here. |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by swiz123(m): 8:36pm On Aug 13, 2018 |
I perceive a great story here... Will be waiting for more updates to make my assessments |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by youngimporter: 8:57pm On Aug 13, 2018 |
something nice is happening here keep it up man. |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by Youngzubi(m): 9:50pm On Aug 13, 2018 |
Lalasticlala Chai ! i have to start typing lalalalalasti on Google search just to see the correct spelling of that name and copy finally i have achieved it!,please boss help me do your magic,help me showcase this story on front page |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by tomgab(m): 10:21pm On Aug 13, 2018 |
pradoic: I balance well |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by Ann2012(f): 11:05pm On Aug 13, 2018 |
I don balance here Abeg who get correct pammi and bush meat for hand? pradoic: |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by pradoic(m): 1:39pm On Aug 14, 2018 |
no drop yet!! op coma do this thing na |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by Damibiz(m): 1:48pm On Aug 14, 2018 |
Damibiz get everything u want babe.... Ann2012: |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by rowdymind(m): 7:25pm On Aug 14, 2018 |
Good Palmy Dey Attract Fly, Na So This Tori Take Drag Me But No Just Call Me Uninvited Tombo Fly, Anywas My Main Manchi Jus "F" Up Youngzubi You Look Me Finish Nur Invite Me Ba? And All The Class Monitors Sef Jus Forsake Me. Waiter Gimme Me One Cold 1759 Make I Shak Up, Good One Boss 3D Glasses |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by Ann2012(f): 9:46pm On Aug 14, 2018 |
Damibiz: Good!!! Oya shift for me |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by Damibiz(m): 10:01pm On Aug 14, 2018 |
Youngzubi God don butter ur guy bread oh..oya Ann2012 site down oh jare Ann2012: |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by Youngzubi(m): 10:24pm On Aug 14, 2018 |
Three The lady heard someone greet her,she reluctantly turn sideways as her eye met aka-gum,this one looks clean and he speaks well she thought,but no way she is going to give him a second glance for she knows that he is definitely on a mission,she was sure of that. Jesus(aka-gum murmured) it seems what faji-k and co were saying is actually true,she couldn't even look back to see who is greeting her,but my seven thousand naira can't go just like that no! i must apply wisdom,he thought as he came up with a new strategy aka-gum : hello! young lady please can you spare me just a minute of your time, am new in this village and my phone is down please can you kindly help me check what time is on your phone i really need to get out from this place before 5 o'clock lady see this goat o!,do i look like a time keeper?,though since he said that he is new it means he is stranger,let me just help him,she thought,then dipped her hand inside her purse and brought out her Mobil phone,she stared at the screen for a while then faced him and said) the time is after 3 aka-gum unbelievable he thought) oh! thank you but there is still one more thing please!,where can i charge my phone in this village? lady : em! sir i think you should just stand here and wait for a bike,once you get one just tell the rider to take to the nearest phone changing stand around aka-gum : ok thank you very much,i really appreciate your kind gesture lady : you welcome(she turned and embark on her journey home) aka-gum stood at the same spot till she was out of sight then he turned and started walking back to the beer parlour with his phone on his hand,he dialed 11 digits on the screen of his phone before he got to the bar people were hailing him from different direction,he felt like a king infact everybody including aja rushed him to enquire what transpired between him and the lady "what did she say?" "what did you tell her?" "how were you able to get her attention?" all these were the question people kept throwing at him as he walk back into the bar with smile on his face aka-gum : veno where is my 14 thousand? veno: boss here it is,you won faji-k: wait o!,is this a dream please somebody should wake me up taaaa!! aja landed him a dirty slap out of anger due to his loose faji-k : yeeeeee!!!!!! who slapped me? veno : now you'er awake aja : aka-gum you used charm on her aka-gum : and it worked aja : then you didnt win aka-gum : says who,did you see me do any incantation or apply any substance,my friend come and learn work from me your boss faji-k : tell us,how were you able to woo her and what was the outcome aka-gum he took a glass cup,filled it with palm wine and gulped it down"aaaahh!!!) see i told you guys that am a pure lagos brought up but you all doubted me,so i went straight to her as a man,you can't compare me with all this vagabond that dominate this village am a master guy,when she heard my grammar she had no other choice than to stop veno: ah! oyinbo!!(grammar!) faji-k : go on aka-gum : so i did little introduction about myself,she couldnt even wait for me to finish before she fell for me aja: ahhh!! my 7 tthousand! veno: please aka-gum continue leave a looser to mourn his lost and console himself,see aja shift you'er doing me heat already aka-gum: hope you all saw when she brought out her phone? "yes!!" everybody inside the bar chorused with their ears widely opened eager to hear more aka-gum : it was her phone number that she gave me "baba o! baba o!!!!!"they all hailed him aka-gum he took another cup filled with palm wine and gulped it down,slowly his sight began to turn blur) hope you guys saw when she was pointing at that direction? "yes! yes!" most of the people chorused aka-gum : thats where she said we should meet tomorrow "baba o!! baba o!!" they chorused aja: (anger filled his heart) am out of here,am out of this place rubbish and useless people,he hissed and walked out of the bar to be continued 1 Like |
Re: Bottle Warriors(beer Parlour Night Tale)story By Youngzubi by Youngzubi(m): 10:26pm On Aug 14, 2018 |
Damibiz: ahhh!! damirugged she is my pastor daughter o! |
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