Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,165,292 members, 7,860,700 topics. Date: Friday, 14 June 2024 at 02:34 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples (10433 Views)
Who Craves For Marriage More, Men Or Women? / Why Do Wives' Mothers Dominate Their Daughters' Marital Homes / The Top 10 Youngest Mothers In History And Their Ages (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by ImaIma1(f): 1:21pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
TonyeBarcanista: A boss does not seek anyone's opinion. He only informs on what he has decided. So...no he is not a boss. Thank God i didn't generalize on all inlaws. My sister also has the best inlaws. Sometimes we say she is even closer to them than us. And all of us together act like one big family. But that doesn't mean that her husband will just bring someone to stay with them. Couples talk about these things and prefer to help without having to bring people to live with them. |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by ImaIma1(f): 1:26pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Winter4: One service i attended, the pastor told men to allow their wife's mum come when she gives birth instead of their own mums. It is actually common sense. But common sense is not common for a lot of people apparently. 1 Like |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by TonyeBarcanista(m): 1:42pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
ImaIma1:You don't know the meaning of 'boss'. A boss is your superior, your 'oga'. From your association president to SUG President to pastor to Imam to line manager etc. Even your class captain is the boss in the classroom, Senior prefect is the boss among the students in the school. The Boss' decision is Final! He has the final say! He may consult and he may act based on his discretion, thats his to make. My boss do consult with me but the decision is his to make. However, only a wife that is loyal/submissive will be consulted/carried along, a wife with mentality as the OP will only be informed and that's it. If you resist/reject my family that means you resist/reject me, it is as simple as that. If you accept my family means you accept me! And you can't say you accept my family and then turnaround to attempt to create barrier/wall. E no go work! No woman, nobody can even try that stunt with me 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by ImaIma1(f): 1:44pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
NoToPile: Men do not understand it because it is their family and their family can never go wrong. My friend just went cold after so much issues from her mother inlaw. The woman visits a lot and would spend a month and want to be treated like a queen while my friend runs helter skelter cracking her brain on breakfast, lunch and dinner for her(she can be picky). Her and her husband were having issues because of the mum's constant interference. My friend complained but it didn't stop and so she just went quiet. When her MIL visits, she would be a dutiful DIL and nothing extra. Her hubby noticed her distance but it was late. It took intervention from her dad and respected family members that resolved it and talked some sense to the husband. Now his mum hardly visits though her and her DIL are cool. Men are clueless most times. 1 Like |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by Nobody: 1:47pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
TonyeBarcanista: You and acidosis never disappoint Postmann (or postman) what are your thoughts? 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by Nobody: 1:49pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
ImaIma1: Na women get sense abi? Making hasty generalizations based on one's experience makes one stupid |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by Nobody: 1:52pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
ClassicQueen: That is an old man up there you just played with. The fact that he's on nairaland doesn't mean you should play with him. |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by TonyeBarcanista(m): 1:53pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
ImaIma1:What is wrong with that? What is wrong with treating MiL as queen and run errands for her? Your friend has nothing to complain of. Her and her husband were having issues because of the mum's constant interference. My friend complained but it didn't stop and so she just went quiet. When her MIL visits, she would be a dutiful DIL and nothing extra. Her hubby noticed her distance but it was late.Once again, the fault is your friend! If she can't accept the woman as her mother and be open then she will end up with a DIL that will treat her worse (no be swear na KARMA) It took intervention from her dad and respected family members that resolved it and talked some sense to the husband. Now his mum hardly visits though her and her DIL are cool.What a pUs5y husband and ingrate son of his mother. Men are clueless most times.Clueless about evil plot of some Naija women against their In-laws? But some of us aren't clueless. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by TonyeBarcanista(m): 1:57pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
NoToPile:No, some Naija women have this deep hatred towards members of Husband's family. I, will not allow that happen in mine. Never!!! It is either she integrate into my family or she evaporate forever!!! 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by Winter4: 2:00pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Acidosis: Your response make sense. Now this is getting somewhere...As a man, if your sister reports to you that your wife maltreats your niece...of which you are usually not around to see what truly goes on, what would you do? Would you ask your niece to leave if your wife is innocent? Would you support her if you have proof..or if you just know the woman you married is not a monster? Would you turn your back on those tagging her "witch" just to stick to her (with proof of course)? |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by TonyeBarcanista(m): 2:02pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Elder001:My brother, I don't know where these girls are getting orientation from. Funny enough same people won't accept it if their brother's wife display the attitude they display towards them 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by Nobody: 2:04pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
TonyeBarcanista: You are right on this. Especially when the husband is wealthy. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by Winter4: 2:13pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
TonyeBarcanista: Oga e don do..this your ranting sef. You know what they say about an empty drum...Are you sure you really love your family? Abi all these na show to oppress poor single ladies (those that are gullible anyway) Anyway, your point is taken...correct me if wrong please 1. Your family(parents and siblings) would always come before your own(nuclear) family...this implies that your wife does not actually become your family when you marry her. 2. Your family members(extended) can never go wrong Right? 3 Likes |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by TonyeBarcanista(m): 2:29pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Winter4:Firstly, what you call ranting is actually a response to one of your kind. Please, check the meaning of "rant" You know what they say about an empty drum...Are you sure you really love your family?I don't know your family but in mine we love each other. I have always maintained on this forum since I joined that my family is what I don't joke with Abi all these na show to oppress poor single ladies (those that are gullible anyway)If by poor you mean wealth, I find this text absurd! Lemme tell you, I don't respect money as much as I respect people. This is a FACT! Whether I am rich or not, I dont oppress people because humility is a virtue and success/wealth should humble people not puff up. Whether a girl is rich or poor is irrelevant to me. But if by "poor" you mean one who's in a helpless situation, then that is another unfortunate statement. A single lady that I find worthy enough has option of accepting or rejecting my terms even before marriage, I also have the privilege of marrying who I feel is ideal for me or otherwise. It is NOT by force!! Nobody is holding anyone to ransom. Anyway, your point is taken...correct me if wrong pleaseWrong! My wife is deemed a member of the family by integration AFTER marriage. 2. Your family members(extended) can never go wrongMy family members are loving, accommodating and forever have my back and those of my kids and wife. She (wife) must (it is nonnegotiable) integrate herself and enjoy the privileges of being a member of my family. Simple! |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by cococandy(f): 2:43pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Acidosis:Mtchew 1 Like |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by Winter4: 2:43pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
TonyeBarcanista: Plenty aggression onto simple question You still did not answer the last question...its a yes or no thingy oga...no need to fight me ehn..and leave my family out of your tirade. You don't have to disrespect other people's people to show loyalty to yours naa About the "poor" phrase, I'll ignore the comment...if you do not understand what I mean there, whats now the point of explaining? 1 Like |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by TonyeBarcanista(m): 2:45pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
[s] Winter4:[/s] Case closed! 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by Winter4: 3:01pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
TonyeBarcanista: Really? No response as to whether your people can ever be wrong?? Okay o..I expected you to be as honest as acidosis. But then, not all men would be like that. Indeed Case Closed!! I got what I wanted 1 Like |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by mylove4him(f): 3:34pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Acidosis:My brother don't quote me wrong. Nobody marries into a family to hate the family. It is the things that happen on the course of the marriage that open your eyes to a lot of things. I am not denying the fact that there women that wants to burn bridges from day one or before they even marry them. But I must tell you the greatest problem of some inlaws are entitlement spirit. Some don't bother to know if you guys have money to eat. The day you don't provide, you are a bad wife. I still insist most marriages will stand the test of time if we have less family interference. I personally put my people in their place and just one phone call you are out. For inlaws no matter how they misbehave, if your hubby is sentimental and weak. OYO is your name. You will fight the battle alone. So most times for the sake of peace, you just have to take a lot of trash. 4 Likes |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by ImaIma1(f): 3:45pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
TonyeBarcanista: Even her own mum doesn't visit often and that one stays in lagos. Her mum inlaw is also her mum but when she keeps pitching her husband against her and making them fight a lot, then there is an issue. If the MIL has to tell her son not to have another child yet, there is an issue. It might be ok with you though. He is not a p.... or whatever you called him. He was just wise to see that his mum was imposing a lot on his wife and he wasn't ready to marry his mum. 1 Like |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by ImaIma1(f): 3:47pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Elder001: Elder you have brought your stupidity here. Welcome. I have noticed you. Now you can continue what you were doing. |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by Nobody: 4:03pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
mylove4him:you are experienced |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by mylove4him(f): 4:05pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Acidosis:How many inlaws agree to this my brother. See it is the women who run the home that sees a whole lot of things. I have been termed a bad wife because I provided a type of meal that didn't sit with everyone. How do u go separating pots for different people at the same time because each person does eat differently. Especially when you are a struggling young couple with other responsibilities such as their education. Are you going to spend your whole savings on food? You leave the door open for them to walk away and they but continually stay to make you look like a bad wife and tells everyone that you are a bad wife. So others coming behind have already formed an opinion about you. Some go extra mile to make snide comments because of what they have been told. 1 Like |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by mylove4him(f): 4:06pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Acidosis: |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by mylove4him(f): 4:18pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Treasuredlove:After all these years. One has to learn. 1 Like |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by Nobody: 4:22pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
ImaIma1:Now I know that the person behind this moniker doesn't have sense. You once said on this same family section that "making hasty generalizations based on one's experience is a show of stupidity" ,you can't take what you dish to others? You said "men are clueless" including your husband and father, right? Noticed? Who do you think you are? A full time housewife wife arguing irrelevant stuffs still think she's doing someone a favour by quoting a post. You lack wisdom . As usual I expect you to quote me with senseless talk |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by postmann: 4:25pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
ClassicQueen: You're kind hearted indeed and yet this was a quote from you; "The mother knew their condition and how they are managing and she gave birth to 5 children this family live in just one room in Lagos. The woman is not working while the man is managing a small laundry business which is not even thriving" And that's the reason for refusing to help. Not because you'd an unpleasant encounter with the little girl's parents; not because there's no spare room in your house but because they are dirt-poor. And you call yourself kind hearted. No, you're not. You're a callous gatekeeper, a miserable one who drives a wedge between her husband and his own blood when they needed him. And in your ignorance, you fail to realise your in-laws will figure you're behind your husband's refusal. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by ImaIma1(f): 5:00pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Elder001: Keep ranting sweety. |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by Nobody: 5:14pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
mylove4him:yes o |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by TonyeBarcanista(m): 5:28pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
postmann:Blame the husband my brother! A man that allows a woman to prevent him from rendering help to his own blood! 2 Likes |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by grafixdon: 6:18pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
ClassicQueen: Why some women are like this for christ sake. Can't you see your hubby wanna take some burden away from the family? Do you know God can bless you through this girl? If you can't leave comfortably with 11 years girl then you have a big issue. You don't even know what might be your fate tomorrow, allow your husband to help the family. Chai 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Experienced Wives, Mothers, men Or Couples by NoToPile: 7:43pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
TonyeBarcanista: Osheyy!!! I guess you are not married yet. 1 Like |
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (Reply)
Who Makes The Most Sacrifice In The Home / Can You Be Friends With Your Spouse's Ex? / Why Do Husbands Find It Hard To Apologise To Their Wives
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 99 |